Haunted by the Past
Silvia had sent a photo of Adele along with the message: [Jihyeok! I bought a hair pin today, what do you think? ξ(✿❛‿❛)ξ] In the picture, Adele wore a flower-shaped pin on the side of her head and beamed at the camera. Until now I hadn’t noticed, but from the side her cheeks looked a little plumper. Cute.
[Pretty.]
[(๑ŏ_ŏ๑)] What was that? Was she mad? Did my plain compliment piss her off? I waited, and another message arrived.
[(๑ò︵ò๑)] So she really had been sulking.
[It suits you. Where did you get it?]
[At the convenience store! Ah, can I go out with Silvia unni for lunch today? I want to take a walk nearby.]
[If it’s just around the area, you don’t need to report it. But… it’s two in the morning right now.]
[I know! Fighting for the rest of the day! ٩(๑• ₃ -๑)۶]
What was this? Was she teasing me? Had something happened at the amusement park last time? Lying in bed, I stared at the screen for a moment before carefully setting the phone on the nightstand. My consideration was wasted; the Doctor woke up and turned toward me.
“…. Who was that…?”
“You’re up? Adele says she wants to go for a walk with Silvia today.”
“Now…?”
“No, later at lunch.”
“Then why message now…? She should know what time it is…”
“You know how she is, Doctor. She’s a bit childish.”
The Doctor yawned, then looked at me again.
“She is… Pure, I guess? I worry about her sometimes.”
“Silvia will be right beside her. That’s a relief.”
“We should help out too.”
I nodded silently and stroked the Doctor’s stomach as she tried to get up. I held her back.
“Sleep more.”
“I want some water…”
“Drink my saliva.”
“You’re insane…”
She let out a disbelieving laugh, pressed an affectionate kiss to my lips, and stood. Ever since the day she visited the psychiatric ward, she had been much better. Three days had passed without incident, and she was still meeting me normally—almost too normally, as if the dopamine regulation had worked too well. It felt like we would soon start talking about making the Device.
While I lay there with an arm over my eyes, thinking, the Doctor returned with a glass of water and set it on the nightstand. She perched on the edge of the bed and touched my cheek.
“What’s wrong? Headache?”
“No. Just thinking.”
“Drink. I brought it for you.”
“I’m fine.”
“Drink anyway. You sleep with your mouth a little open. Your mouth must feel dry.”
I sat up and smirked at her.
“When did you see that?”
“When I’m anxious or can’t sleep, looking at you calms me down.”
“What do you have to be anxious about?”
“It’s just… Drink already.”
She held the glass by the body and offered me the handle. This was one of the reasons I liked her so much—her meticulousness even in small things. She crumbled quickly when it came to me, yet she still had good judgment. In short, she was reliable.
I took a big sip, and she set the glass down again.
“You’re wide awake now?”
“Yeah. You?”
“Me too.”
“Want to watch a movie?”
“Sounds good. Should we eat something while we watch?”
“Anything simple is fine.”
She smiled brightly, said she would take care of it, and headed for the living room. I picked up my phone; another message had arrived from Adele.
[Jihyeok, I have a favor to ask.]
No emoji this time. She must have something serious to say. Asking for a favor at two in the morning made me nervous.
[What is it?]
[Please teach me how to ride an unmanned taxi.]
Not a big request… I felt oddly deflated.
[An unmanned taxi…? You just input the destination, and when you arrive you tap your card.]
[It looks hard. I think I’ll get it if I see it once.]
[All right. I’ll show you tomorrow. Also, Adele, two in the morning is when normal people are asleep.]
[I’m sorry. I thought you were awake because you replied… (Ó╭╮Ò)]
Technically I had already been awake, and she didn’t seem to find anything strange about texting at two a.m., but whatever. I had no intention of arguing. She would pay me back with her body later anyway; the more karma she stacked, the better for me.
[It’s fine. Have a good day.]
[Okay!]
The moment I finished texting Adele, a piercing scream tore through the living room.
“Kyaaaaah!”
Followed by the sharp sound of shattering glass. She must have dropped a plate. I rushed out and found the Doctor trembling in front of the kitchen window. Had her schizophrenia flared up again? First I needed to clear the glass.
“Don’t move. You’ll get shards in your feet.”
I fetched a broom and swept the fragments into a pile.
“J-Jihyeok…!”
Her voice was thick with terror. Once the glass was cleared, I carefully lifted her foot to check for any remaining pieces.
“Nothing visible, but let’s wash your feet in the bathroom just in case.”
I slipped an arm under her knees and lifted her. She wrapped her arms tightly around my neck. Had she seen a ghost? Why was she acting like this? Her ragged breathing gradually steadied. She seemed to feel safe in my arms. I decided to calm her down as much as possible.
**
After carefully washing her feet, I laid her on the bed and pulled the blanket over her. While I brushed the damp hair from her forehead, she spoke about what had happened.
“I… I saw my ex-husband. Edward…”
“Edward Parsons?”
“Yes… He looked at me and walked past. From right to left… He moved like he was floating, no footsteps at all…”
Her breathing grew irregular again. Her eyes were brimming; she looked ready to cry. Hallucinations? The schizophrenia must have returned. If I made a fuss she would only grow more anxious, so I stayed calm.
“You didn’t hear any voice?”
“No…”
“Do you want your medicine, or should we go to the lab and use the medical equipment?”
“I-I don’t want to go anywhere right now…”
“Then I’ll get the medicine.”
“Don’t go!”
She shouted and grabbed my wrist hard. I nodded silently and lay down beside her, pulling her gently into my arms.
“You still haven’t finished sorting through everything.”
She admitted it quietly.
“I guess not… His presence is still so strong in my subconscious… I want to let go, I don’t even want to think about him… I’m sorry…”
“I think it’s natural. You loved him a lot and missed him for a long time.”
“I want to send him off nicely… but whenever he appears in any form I resent him. I want to be happy with you, but it feels like he’s getting in the way…”
Her gaze turned sharp. She continued.
“I can’t just stay like this. It’ll be hard on you too…”
She suddenly sat up and told me to follow her, then strode toward the utility room. She dragged Edward Parsons’ golf bag out into the living room and threw it outside, then brought out albums and framed photos. Looking up at me, she said,
“It’s because of these. That’s why his spirit is still attached to me.”
She was talking nonsense, but at least she had momentum. I kept a serious expression, rummaged through the shelf, and took out the medicine prescribed for her.
“If you’re not going to the lab, take this now. It looks like the delusions have started too.”
“Delusions…? You think I’m having delusions right now…?”
“Claiming his spirit is attached to you—what else would you call that?”
“We’re already seeing monsters that use strange powers. It’s not impossible… I’m not taking it. I’m perfectly normal right now.”
“Someone who just had a hallucination is claiming to be normal?”
“…..”
She pressed her lips together and shot me a resentful look, as if asking why I was stopping her. The truth was, I had no intention of stopping her. I was doing this to draw out her violent side and make her accept those feelings deep inside.
After meeting her eyes for a moment, I asked,
“No regrets? The golf bag or the frames are one thing, but the album… that’s full of memories you and your husband made together.”
“It’s not a memory anymore. It’s just useless junk.”
“Why?”
“I’m only looking at you now. I want to forget every memory of my ex-husband and live happily with you.”
“You’re very angry right now. You’re only doing this in the heat of the moment. You’ll definitely regret it later…”
“Whose side are you on!? Mine or that bastard’s!?”
She cut me off and shouted. Calling him “that bastard”… she had gone all the way. My body grew hot. I tried to calm her down.
“I’m on your side.”
At that, she hurled the album to the floor. It landed with a heavy thud. She strode over and jabbed a finger into my chest.
“If you’re on my side, why won’t you let me throw this away!? You hate it too! You hated it so much!”
“I’m saying this for your sake.”
“Then throw it away with your own hands. That would be helping me.”
“Take your medicine first. Then we’ll think about it.”
“I said I’m not taking it! I’m normal! And there’s nothing to think about!”
Her voice shook the living room. When I stayed silent, she glared at me, breathing hard. Then she suddenly grabbed the golf bag and headed for the living-room window. She flung it open and struggled to lift the bag outside. When she couldn’t manage it in one go, she began tossing the clubs out one by one.
While she did that, I sat on the sofa, picked up the fallen album, and opened it. Crossing one leg, I calmly looked through the photos of the Doctor and Edward Parsons. Once she had thrown out every club, she came over and snatched the album away.
“Don’t look at that. There’s no value in any of it.”
I shrugged.
“You’re completely different from when you cried your eyes out after I wore your husband’s clothes. It feels unfamiliar.”
“Stop being sarcastic. You’re the one who said humans are naturally violent.”
I let out a small sigh and stood.
“I did. Feel better now that you’ve thrown them away?”
“No.”
“Then what are you going to do? Burn all the photos?”
“…. That’s a good idea.”
She kept muttering “good idea” as she took every photo out of the album. She gathered them together and asked me,
“You’re glad I’m doing this too, right? We should throw away this disgusting stuff. Right?”
“My answer might make you feel better for a moment, but only for a moment. I think you should do whatever your heart tells you.”
It meant she should make her own choice and accept the consequences. She nodded, understanding perfectly. She threw the photos onto the floor, then suddenly yanked off her T-shirt.
“You’re a far better person than my ex-husband could ever be. I want to forget that bastard who’s still obsessed with me even after he’s dead.”
“So?”
“He’s probably watching us from somewhere right now. So put it in. Then he’ll give up and never appear in front of me again.”
Severe. Completely insane. Still, I would do as she wished. I nodded and silently approached her.