A Swamp of Happiness
Jennifer Cash had been thoroughly pickled. It was time to move on to the next step.
If you're already pickled, you might as well move on to the next stage.
“Doctor Jennifer Cash! Hello!”
Adele greeted her cheerfully. The doctor smiled warmly, charmed by the girl’s adorable energy.
“Nice to see you, Adele.”
“Wow! You look so pretty when you smile!”
The doctor felt a quiet thrill of pleasure. She knew she was beautiful, of course. But with Adele standing right in front of her, and Silvia, and Sehwa, and Yuria… the constant parade of stunning women around her had chipped away at her confidence. Hearing someone as guileless as Adele call her pretty lifted her spirits instantly.
“Thank you. Your Korean has improved a lot.”
“Yes! I studied really hard! By the way, where is Jihyeok?”
The sudden mention of his name made the doctor’s brow twitch ever so slightly.
“Jihyeok? Why are you looking for him…?”
“Because I miss him! He’s such a kind colleague, Jihyeok!”
Colleague, huh… Someone with Adele’s personality would probably charge straight at anything she liked. Even though she knew his contact information, the fact that she was asking the doctor where he was suggested she wasn’t reaching out to him privately. Which meant she probably didn’t have any romantic interest in him as a man.
The doctor let out a small, relieved breath inside and answered.
“Jihyeok went home for a bit.”
“Home? Why?”
“He had some things to take care of… Isn’t this the spaghetti you like?”
Changing the subject, the doctor held out the bag. Adele peered inside, then burst into bright laughter.
“Wow! Spaghetti! I love it!”
Adele bounced on the spot. It was cute to watch, though the girl really did seem a little too childish. To think someone like her was that strong… It was hard to believe.
Once they were inside the house, the doctor exchanged a brief greeting with Silvia before turning on the translator device she had been handed.
“Why did you come alone today?” Silvia asked politely. She really had excellent manners. Always calm and composed, just like Jihyeok had said. The two of them really did seem like they would make a good pair with Adele.
But why did it feel like these girls were always looking for Jihyeok? It was starting to get on her nerves a little.
“Jihyeok was a bit busy, so I came instead.”
“I see… How is the device production going?”
The doctor nearly flinched. She hadn’t made anything for the past four days. She hadn’t even gone to the lab. Swallowing hard to hide her reaction, she lied smoothly.
“It’s going well. But it’s still going to take a while. These things don’t get made overnight.”
“I’ll wait as long as it takes. Thank you, Doctor.”
I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.
The doctor resolved to head to the lab with Jihyeok later that night, even if it was late, and finally start working. She smiled brightly.
“I’m glad you seem to be doing well. I should get going.”
“Already? That’s too bad…”
“I’m pretty busy. I only came to drop off the food today. We can talk more next time.”
“Okay. I won’t keep you. Please be careful on your way back.”
Silvia had misunderstood. She thought the doctor was heading off to make the devices. What kind of face would she make if the doctor told her honestly that she was going to buy ingredients for Jihyeok’s meals? She’d probably look at her with contempt. Just imagining it was horrifying.
Still, if she started working on the devices tonight—even if it meant cutting back on sleep—everything would be fine. There was no need to feel guilty. That would only make them suspicious.
“Thank you. Contact me if you need anything.”
“I will, Doctor.”
The stew bubbled away. Its overwhelmingly unappetizing appearance made the doctor’s eyes fill with anxiety as she scooped up a small spoonful and tasted it. She immediately stuck her tongue out and frowned.
“This is hopeless…”
The seasoning was completely off. She could handle Western dishes above average, but it seemed Eastern cuisine just didn’t suit her. If Jihyeok ate this, he might actually throw up. She had been worried he might get tired of American food, but… it would be better to just stick with what she knew rather than serve him this.
Of course, Jihyeok was an excellent cook. The bean sprout soup she had tried at his officetel last time had been wonderfully clean and light, and the side dishes had perfectly matched her taste. If he got tired of something, he could just make it himself. Still, she wanted to cook for him with her own hands.
The doctor turned off the induction stove and dumped the entire pot of stew. She made sure to grind up every last bit of residue so Jihyeok wouldn’t notice, then washed it all down the drain.
Beep—! Beep—! Beep—!
Leaning against the sink and feeling gloomy, the doctor snapped back to her senses when the washing machine alarm blared loudly. She pulled out dozens of towels and underwear, then let out a long sigh.
She had gone through this much in just four days. Whether they were wearing clothes or not, every time their eyes met they ended up having sex, and they had showered several times a day. Of course there would be a mountain of laundry. It was a relief the machine was a large-capacity model.
Looking outside, she saw heavy rain pouring down. The news had called it the autumn marathon rainy season… It looked like it would keep raining for several more days.
The doctor really hated rainy days. The damp atmosphere always dragged her mood down into depression. Today was no different. No, with Jihyeok not home, she felt even lonelier than usual.
Her shoulders drooping, the doctor slowly loaded the laundry into the dryer. Jihyeok had said he was just stopping by his officetel. Why was he taking so long? It wasn’t that far… He couldn’t possibly be with Sehwa, could he?
Her grip on the laundry tightened without her realizing it.
“Hup!”
The moment she realized what she had been thinking, the doctor gasped. She had felt jealous. Of Sehwa, Jihyeok’s lover. Of the hero who would save humanity. For a split second, she had harbored ugly feelings toward her.
Taking a deep breath to calm herself, the doctor tilted her head when she couldn’t find her husband’s dark blue t-shirt. Where did it go? She was sure she had hand-washed it two days ago and put it in the laundry basket to wash again…
After searching for the t-shirt for a while, she eventually gave up. It wasn’t like it had grown legs and run away. It had to be somewhere. She would ask Jihyeok when he got back.
With that thought, the doctor started the dryer and went into the utility room. From the corner, she pulled out a framed photo.
“…..”
It was their wedding photo, the first time she had taken it out in four days. Staring at it with misty eyes, the doctor placed the frame back in the corner. This time, she turned it face-down completely.
She was afraid her husband in heaven might suddenly appear inside the photo and watch her having passionate sex with Jihyeok. It was a ridiculous thought. But she felt guilty enough to think that way.
-If you feel that guilty, then don’t do it! You don’t have to!-
It felt like she could hear her husband’s voice coming from somewhere inside her mind.
Don’t do it? She couldn’t do that. She was already addicted to Jihyeok’s gentle voice, his handsome face, his perfect body, and that massive thing of his. Her feelings for him had already grown far beyond her control. Whenever she was with him, the emptiness inside her heart felt completely filled. It reminded her so much of the sweet married life she once had, and it felt wonderful.
-Jenny… Don’t do this.-
There it was again. Don’t do this? You’re the one who abandoned me and left! Do you know how lonely I’ve been for the past ten years…? You don’t even understand how I feel, yet you tell me not to do this. Isn’t that too selfish? I want to be happy now too!
The doctor was about to spit those words out loud when she flinched in shock. She had turned her anger toward her husband for a moment. Why had she thought something like that? The jealousy she had felt toward Sehwa earlier, and all the loneliness she had endured until now—it seemed like a compensatory mindset had taken root.
Rushing out of the utility room, the doctor washed her face in the bathroom and collapsed onto the sofa. The low hum of the dryer filled the quiet living room. The loneliness hit her even harder. Being alone made all sorts of thoughts flood in.
She was scared to even look at Sehwa’s face. She felt sorry toward Yuria, and toward Silvia and Adele too. She was supposed to show the dignity befitting the head of headquarters… She felt utterly pathetic for acting this way.
But what could she do? She liked Jihyeok so much. She missed him. She was going crazy from wanting to see him, the man who embraced her with that soft voice. Even though they had already been intimate so many times, she still wanted more. Just the thought of him touching her was enough to make her wet down below. It felt like she had discovered an entirely new version of herself.
Beep—!
The sound of a keycard at the front door. Jihyeok was back.
The doctor’s face brightened as she jumped up from the sofa and ran over. The door opened with a click, revealing Jihyeok with one shoulder damp from the rain, holding a large shopping bag. He looked at her and asked,
“Why were you standing there like that?”
His warm voice melted her heart. A smile rose to her lips without her even trying. Feeling her heart racing, the doctor bit her lower lip. She wanted to throw herself into that broad chest that made her late husband seem insignificant by comparison, but she was afraid he would scold her for acting childish for her age.
While she stood there unable to move forward or back, Jihyeok smiled brightly and spread his arms wide.
“Ah…!”
He had read her mind. As expected of Jihyeok. That’s right. Age was no obstacle at all. With Jihyeok right here, loving her exactly like this, what did it matter?
After that brief thought, the doctor stepped into his arms and hugged him tightly. Jihyeok gently stroked the back of her neck and spoke affectionately.
“Did my big sister feel very lonely?”
The doctor didn’t answer. She was too busy marveling at the solid, unmoving body that didn’t budge even when she pressed her entire weight against it. She felt it every time, but it was still incredible. It was completely different from her somewhat frail husband. She had once thought their personalities were similar, but she took that back now. Jihyeok had his own unique charm. Even though they had only properly started seeing each other recently, she had already fallen for him completely.
“Hop on. I’ll carry you in.”
Jihyeok patted her bottom. The doctor wrapped her arms around his neck and jumped, wrapping her legs around his waist. Carrying her forward, Jihyeok walked into the house and plopped down on the sofa. He set the shopping bag beside him and asked,
“Were you doing laundry?”
“Yeah. What about your clothes?”
“I brought them. Here.”
Looking inside the shopping bag, she saw it was packed with clothes. He had said he would only be gone for two days… but judging by all the clothes he brought, it looked like he planned to stay here permanently. The doctor felt a little conflicted, but deep down she was happy. The fact that Jihyeok had brought so many clothes was proof that he was completely hooked on her.
She picked up a few garments and brought them to her nose. They smelled nice, but the scent was unfamiliar. It was the same fabric softener Sehwa used. There was also a faint hint of black cherry. It was the same scent she had noticed when she woke up at Jihyeok’s officetel last time. Once again, jealousy toward Sehwa surged up inside her.
“Let’s wash these again. They smell.”
“Smell?”
Jihyeok brought the clothes to his nose and sniffed. Then he tilted his head.
“I don’t smell anything.”
“No, there’s a slightly musty smell… It’s been raining for days, so maybe moisture got into your closet. Or maybe you left them damp somewhere…”
“Is that so? You’d know better than me, sis. Let’s do that, then.”
“Why did you bring dress shirts and suits? In case something comes up at work?”
“Yeah. If there’s an emergency, I want to be able to leave right away.”
“Didn’t you have a suit bag? Everything’s all wrinkled. Let’s take these to the dry cleaner.”
“What if something urgent comes up while they’re there? Just leave them.”
“No. They do same-day service, so I can go now and be back quickly. Wait here.”
“If you’re going, let’s go together.”
At the answer she had been hoping for, the doctor’s face lit up as she nodded eagerly. Jihyeok let out a small chuckle.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Nothing… I just like you so much, sis.”
The doctor couldn’t hide the smile that kept breaking across her face. It had been so long since she had lived like this. The way she felt happy over the smallest displays of affection, the way she wanted to take care of everything for her lover. It felt like they were having a fresh, youthful romance. Her body and even her mind felt younger.
Still wrapped in Jihyeok’s arms and slowly rocking like they were on a swing, the doctor spoke.
“Oh, Jihyeok.”
“Yeah?”
“Have you seen that dark blue t-shirt? I thought I put it in the laundry, but I can’t find it.”
“That t-shirt? I haven’t seen it… Did you lose it?”
“It seems like it. It should definitely be in the house somewhere…”
“Want to look for it together?”
The doctor had been about to nod when she suddenly felt like Jihyeok was testing her. He hated that t-shirt. She remembered clearly how he had taken it from her last time and tossed it aside carelessly. That shirt was a precious keepsake. But now that she wanted their relationship to grow even deeper, if she said “Let’s look for it now” or showed any obsession with the t-shirt, Jihyeok would probably be disappointed.
That’s right. It had been strange how she had been clinging to her husband’s belongings and crying over them all this time. It wasn’t like that was the only memento she had of him… If Jihyeok went out for work, she could look for it then.
After thinking it over, the doctor finally spoke.
“No, it’s fine. It must be around here somewhere.”
At her answer, Jihyeok gave a satisfied smile. Seeing his expression, the doctor realized she had given the right answer. A small pang of guilt toward her husband rose up, but it quickly faded.
I didn’t throw it away… so it should be okay.
Rationalizing it to herself, the doctor felt a rush of ecstasy as Jihyeok hugged her so tightly it felt like she might break. She had done well by answering that way. It seemed her romantic senses weren’t dead yet.
With that thought, the doctor nuzzled against his chest with a small whine before lifting her head. Then she asked,
“Have you eaten?”
“Not yet. I’m starving.”
“I’ll make something right away. Just wait a moment.”
“No. Let’s just eat out while we’re at the dry cleaner.”
“Sounds good. What do you want to eat?”
“Hmm… There’s a gambas place nearby. Want to try that?”
“I’m fine with anywhere.”
“But now that we’re like this, I don’t feel like moving. Can we stay like this a little longer?”
The doctor nodded shyly. Those were exactly the words she had wanted to hear. Not just a little while… but for a long time. No, she wanted to stay glued to him every single day.
I should tell him to go to the lab…
She knew she should. But she couldn’t. The doctor tightened her arms around Jihyeok’s back. Right now, the only thought in her head was how happy she felt. It seemed she had completely submerged herself in the swamp this man had created.
She had thought Edward was her first and last love, but that had been a mistake. If only she had met Jihyeok when she was younger… It would have been so wonderful…
That thought briefly crossed the doctor’s mind before vanishing.