Chapter 54
Chapter 54
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 54
Chapter Title: Surrounded on All Sides (7)
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Good medicine tastes bitter.
Advice that's helpful to me probably won't feel all that great to hear right now.
But its effects would surely be certain.
"I ask you to do this."
"Battalion Commander, you're absolutely sure you won't go back on your word later?"
"I swear it on the honor of the Schumacher baronet family."
Sergeant Major Yurgen took a deep breath and spoke.
"What kind of woman do you like, sir?"
"Pretty is best, of course. And she has to be kind."
An intelligent and reserved woman would be nice, or a lively one too.
As long as she's pretty and doesn't have any rough edges in her personality, if she says she likes me, we can just live together.
"That's the most complicated answer possible."
"Pretty and kind—that's all it takes."
"Imagine if the regimental commander invited you to dinner and you gave a similar answer. 'As long as it tastes good.' And then you brought him just anything."
I feel like I misspoke.
When someone important says "anything tasty," no matter how much you agonize, there's no right answer.
If I just say "pretty and kind," how is Yurgen supposed to know what that means?
And sadly, I don't even know what my ideal type is.
"Lieutenant Yurgen, I'm really sorry, but I don't even know what my ideal type is."
"Fortuna preserve us."
"Even so, I swear by Fortuna that kindness is all it takes. As long as her face isn't ground on a whetstone, she's fine."
"We'll drop the ideal type search. So any woman who genuinely likes you is good enough? Regardless of status or anything?"
"That's right."
"Understood. You're surprisingly undemanding, sir. Given how exceptional you are, I figured you'd have something picky like 'D-cup or bigger,' or 'only daughters of rich families,' or 'blondes only.'"
Money's nice, sure.
But love isn't just about money.
"People like you often have standards so high they can't date anyone. One of my professors at the officer academy made major but never married."
"Professor Bauman? He wasn't married even back when he was a captain..."
Yurgen gave a slight smile as he spoke.
"Not something to laugh at. Someone as capable and busy as you never knows when it'll happen. Pass thirty, and arranged marriages for money and status are your only option."
Yeah, this really wasn't funny at all.
I'm in my late twenties now.
Thirty's just around the corner.
Here, the norm is to marry within one or two years of graduating officer academy. At my age, that's like mid-to-late thirties back in Korea.
If I pass thirty like this...
'I'll go from bachelor to aging single middle-aged man.'
"Have you ever held a woman's hand?"
"No."
"Have you ever had a natural conversation with a woman?"
"That, I have."
I'm confident—no, there's no chance, but anyway—that women see me as more than just a friend. Or at least, the probability is there.
I'm not some total loser who can't even talk to women.
Even though they're my subordinates, I can chat naturally with Lina and Monica.
Those two genuinely respect me.
Yeah, no matter how bad I am at dating, I'm not like those guys who can't even talk to women.
"I'm pretty close with Lieutenant Lina and Lieutenant Monica in our battalion."
"Most men in your position can't even talk to women... That's a relief, sir. If you couldn't talk to women at all, you'd really be hopeless."
......That hurts.
Even a sledgehammer to the head might hurt less.
But good medicine tastes bitter.
"You said 'pretty close'—how close, exactly?"
"Lina and I went to a café and had coffee together, and Monica and I chatted late into the night in the barracks."
"Pardon...? You two had coffee alone, and you chatted late at night in the barracks?"
"They respect me as their superior."
Yurgen looked at me and let out a big sigh.
Then he slapped his forehead and bowed his head.
"Fortuna preserve us."
"What's wrong?"
"I'm really, truly sorry, but can I speak frankly, sir? It might be a bit shocking."
If I've got a bad case of romantic ineptitude, I need treatment.
To cure it, I'll do anything...
"Speak frankly."
I steeled myself.
Whatever he said, I was ready to accept it.
"Sir, do you dislike the two lieutenants? Otherwise, ignoring it like this... Unless you plan to stay single forever, it doesn't make sense."
"I think of them as good subordinates."
"Don't take this the wrong way, sir. Listen carefully."
I swallowed hard.
"Women in this world don't chat late into the night or go for coffee alone with men they're not interested in. Surprised?"
"Monica came because I looked lonely, and Lina just needed someone to go to her favorite café with..."
"Are you seriously pretending not to know, sir? Unless you've got some condition... How can you be this oblivious?"
Yurgen started getting angry like it was his own problem.
"This happened at the academy. There was a young lady I fell for at first sight at a social. I mustered my courage and asked her to coffee at a nice café... Guess what she said?"
"She turned you down?"
Tears welled up in Yurgen's eyes.
"Yes. She rejected me."
"That must've hurt."
"But this sad story isn't over yet."
"What happened?"
His tragic tale continued.
"The next Saturday, I happened to stop by that café, and there she was, having coffee with another guy! Even though she'd told me she doesn't drink coffee."
Just hearing it makes my eyes sting.
To think such a sad thing could happen in the world.
Back in my past life, these were common stories in Korea, but hearing it again hits different.
"That's how women are. They avoid even talking to men they're not into, but if they like a guy, they'll happily indulge even weird hobbies."
"......I see."
"In my view, those two lieutenants definitely have feelings for you, sir."
"Are you sure?"
Yurgen grinned at my question.
"I'd bet thirty thousand marks."
"Isn't that two weeks' pay for you?"
"Make it a million marks."
"......All right. Then I'll test it your way. How should I test it?"
Yurgen looked at me like I was some pitiful reject.
Ignorance isn't a crime, but getting that look for being dense about romance...
Infuriating. Unfair.
It's my fault, but still...
"I've never seen someone as clueless about women and their own popularity as you, sir. This is a real illness."
"......I've never dated in my life..."
"If you still can't believe it, grab the lieutenants' hands like you're thanking them for a handshake, but hold both hands tight. If their faces turn beet red or they don't pull away, I'm right."
"Got it."
"If they don't like you, I'll run twenty laps in full gear every day. But if I'm right..."
A man who backs down loses.
"You cover my duty shifts for three months."
Something tells me I'll lose.
After processing Yurgen's transfer, I immediately called for Lina.
"Lieutenant Lina, come here a moment."
"Yes, sir."
"Without you, Lieutenant Lina, I wouldn't have made it this far. Thank you so much."
Saying that, I offered her a handshake.
After the handshake, I gripped both her hands with mine.
Convention is to let go after five seconds or so...
But I deliberately held on for ten, twenty seconds.
If she showed any sign of dislike, Yurgen was right...
"......"
Far from disliking it, her face turned as red as a ripe apple.
With a dazed smile, no less.
Even I could see it.
'Lina really does like me.'
I don't know to what degree, but she really likes me.
As we stayed like that, Lina cautiously pulled her hands away.
"Battalion Commander?"
"Ah, sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable?"
Lina waved her hands in the air.
"No, sir. I was just a little flustered. You held my hands so long all of a sudden..."
"Sorry about that."
"It might be nice if you did this sometimes when praising me."
"I'll do that."
Finally, escape from singledom is in sight...
Meanwhile, one bad bet popped into my head.
From now on, all of Yurgen's duties fall on me.
Shouldn't have made that bet.
While the battalion stood by, a new order came down.
It wasn't like before—capturing spies or suddenly throwing the battalion into combat...
"They want our battalion to do this?"
It was suppressing a civil unrest that had erupted in the Empire.