Ch 165
Became a swordsmanship instructor at the academy
Chapter 165
After coming back from the military, I went back to construction work, but there were many days without work.
I chose a shipyard that promised steady work and good money.
But not everyone at the shipyard made good money.
I found out later that to make real money, you had to join a team and get daily wages, but I entered as a company employee on an hourly wage system.
The work was much harder than construction sites.
Since we were basically building massive ships like oil tankers and cargo vessels, the distances we had to walk were unbelievable.
At least 20,000 steps a day?
Plus, the office, worksite, and cafeteria were all way too far apart.
Since the ships were made entirely of steel, if you bumped into something wrong, it hurt so much your bones would ache.
The place I worked was the painting department, so toxic paint particles floated around everywhere and the thinner smell constantly tormented my nose, making masks absolutely essential.
I thought about running away after just one week.
I endured it thinking I couldn't face my family if I quit before even lasting a month.
On my long-awaited first payday. Even though I hadn't worked a full month and it was hourly pay so it wasn't much money, I was happy and was about to buy some chicken in the dormitory when my father called.
I was thinking I should give him some spending money since it was my first paycheck, even if it wasn't much, but he brought it up first before I could even mention it.
He asked if I had any money. He said he needed to pay off debt and asked for 2 million won.
After coming back from the military, I thought our family's financial situation had improved somewhat, but it hadn't.
Since he was saying he was dying, even though I didn't have the 2 million or even 1.5 million, I gave him 1 million won from my first paycheck.
After that, he often asked me for money, and I sent him everything except the minimum living expenses.
Fortunately, the people I worked with were really good.
Even though I was twenty-three and had served in the military - a proper adult - to the others I was completely just a kid.
Among the people I worked with, the youngest brother had married early and was a father in his mid-thirties with a daughter in elementary school, and there were several people who had children older than me.
Maybe that's why everyone took such good care of me.
Especially the brothers I worked with, they felt sorry for me living in an industrial complex dormitory where mostly foreign workers lived, so they'd take me downtown to buy me drinks, play pool together, and bought me dinner often.
During summer vacation, we went to valleys together and grilled meat.
The foreign worker friends who lived in the same dormitory were awkward at first, but as we spent time together, they were simple and kind, so we got along well.
They'd invite me to their rooms and cook their country's food for me.
It was like a ray of sprite in a life that had been dry as sweet potatoes.
But the sweet potatoes weren't over.
A few days before receiving my second paycheck, while I was working hard, my sister contacted me.
She said father wasn't sending spending money because he had no money, making life difficult, and since she was a graduating senior, it was hard to work part-time while preparing for job hunting, so she asked if I could send some money monthly.
When I asked how much she needed, she asked if I could send just 200,000 won, so I said okay.
She had gone to university in Seoul, we rarely met, and we weren't particularly close normally, but if she contacted me, it must be because she was really struggling.
I wondered if a fourth-year university student could live on 200,000 won, but I didn't have any more capacity either.
It was too hard and I wanted to quit, but once I learned about our family's poor situation, I couldn't quit.
Instead, I even volunteered for overtime, working an average of 320 hours, sometimes close to 400 hours a month.
Of course, I didn't actually work all those hours - it included the weekly holiday allowance of 8 hours, night shift allowances that counted as 1.5 times, weekends, and public holidays.
Still, I think I rested maybe two days or one day a month at most.
Whenever they recruited volunteers for early morning shifts, I always said I'd do it.
Whenever my father requested, I sent him money, and I faithfully sent money to my sister every month on payday.
Coming back to the present, yesterday I probably told my sister that since I had no money, could she send me just 150,000 won a month for about three months.
Because in three months at the latest, I'd be able to receive income from the writing I'm doing now.
I only worked at the shipyard for one year before quitting, but fortunately my sister got a job right after graduation.
Just last year I worked and sent 200,000 won monthly for a full year, and while not for all 8 semesters, I contributed about half of her tuition and dormitory fees initially, and continued to help substantially though not entirely in the middle.
I thought she could send about 150,000 won.
But the answer that came back was rejection.
When my sister asked me for money, I didn't hesitate and readily agreed.
But my sister got incredibly irritated and refused, saying she also had no money since she just got a rental deposit and hadn't been working long.
I know that even the rental deposit was borrowed - 60 million won loaned by asking mom to take out a mortgage on the apartment.
And that it actually costs much less than when she was paying monthly rent.
Maybe asking a new worker to send 150,000 won for three months was an unreasonable request.
But the 200,000 won I gave my sister monthly was also money made by grinding 23-year-old Lee Min-chan's youth at a shipyard subcontractor.
While also getting squeezed by dad, not eating what I wanted to eat, not buying what I wanted to buy...
That's when I realized.
That sacrificing myself for family was completely pointless.
It wasn't just this one incident that made me cut contact with my sister, but it had a significant impact.
If you don't have expectations in the first place, you don't get disappointed.
Dad was always that kind of person so I just accepted it, but my sister wasn't.
So this was the trauma.
The solution comes to mind immediately too.
"Brother, should we order chicken?"
No. We have to eat chicken.
"No, I'll go out and buy it. I know a really delicious place."
"Really? You usually don't like going out because it's bothersome... Okay."
Even though I didn't return to the past and I know what I'm seeing now isn't real, I want to stay together a little longer.
When I cut ties with my parents, this guy was the only one who said he understood me, even though he couldn't move out separately due to lack of ability.
I want to at least buy him chicken, so I told him to wait and came outside. After walking about 20 minutes, I saw a pub.
It's a place where I worked for about two months while looking for part-time work nearby after coming home from organizing work to go to the military, but getting the dates wrong.
I was worried they might not recognize me, but fortunately both the owner and his wife recognized me at a glance.
We exchanged simple greetings and I explained the situation.
I showed them my subscription savings account through mobile internet banking and requested if they could package one chicken for me, saying I'd bring the money tomorrow.
"Since you came after so long, I can just give you one chicken. Wait a moment."
"No, then I'd feel too sorry..."
"Sorry for what. When you quit to go to the military, we were so busy we couldn't properly take care of you, and that's always bothered me. Our Min-chan really worked hard and did well."
"Thank you."
Of course, I also thought it would be better to come to an owner I had some relationship with and ask, but I only worked here for two months.
I'm a bit moved.
"Wait a little. I'll fry it really deliciously for you. And try not to cancel your subscription savings if possible. The longer you have it, the higher your chances of winning."
"Ah, yes."
I know that too, but it's meaningless.
Even while reducing it to 20,000 won in my tight finances, I steadfastly maintained it until I died and entered lotteries everywhere, but I never won once.
When I came home with the packaged chicken, my younger brother was really happy.
It wasn't a franchise, but it was the most popular menu item at a pub with quite a lot of customers.
They gave plenty of sauce and even gave a large cola as service.
They even recommended I do weekend part-time work if I was looking for a job...
"Brother, aren't you eating?"
"Eat first. I'll get cups."
Seeing my younger brother excitedly eating chicken, I think I understand what it means to feel full just by watching.
Probably this guy would have been the first to discover me when I died too.
We contacted each other most frequently and went to the bathhouse together about once a month.
Thinking about how he would have handled my affairs alone makes me both sorry and a bit sentimental.
"Not eating more?"
"I'm full from eating ramen earlier. I'm going out for a bit, brother."
"Going to smoke again? Quit it. You'll get lung cancer."
I was about to say I already quit, but just smiled once and left the house.
I've seen my younger brother's face and eaten chicken, so now it's time to go back.
I immediately called my sister.
—What now? I really have no money.
She seems to think I called to ask for money again, but my solution for the trauma isn't to extract money.
In the first place, excluding the advance, unlike pay-per-chapter that takes a long time to generate profit, the flat-rate market allows you to receive writing income in just one month, so I didn't need to make such requests.
"Lee Se-ra, don't you have any conscience?"
—What? Hey, Lee Min-chan! Did you just say everything you wanted to?
"I didn't say everything. Does it feel good to live so selfishly like that?"
—Just because I won't give that measly 150,000 won. Right now...
"It's funny that you call it measly while not giving it. I don't need it, you conscienceless bitch. Live selfishly like that for the rest of your life."
I said exactly what I wanted to say and hung up.
While thinking maybe I should have said a bit more, my vision starts to change.
Indeed, this was the right answer.
In reality, I didn't say anything and just kept it in my heart.
That's probably why this selfish woman didn't realize I had cut her off.
2-3 years after this incident, my sister sent me 100,000 won via message saying it was for my birthday.
Since there was no reaction, she quickly canceled it, but according to what I heard from my younger brother later, she said that someone who can't earn shit was just being prideful when she tried to be considerate.
Did she only realize when I ignored her invitation to her wedding shortly before I died?
I should have done this from the start, but I couldn't speak up at the time.
Ironically, I became good at speaking only after I holed up in my room and started writing.
"You came out early? Even if you set it to minimum, it must have been difficult."
It's Lumiel.
"How long has it been since I took on the challenge?"
"About two days."
Two days should be fine with no major problems.
Of course, Se-jin will be worried, and I'll probably get hit on the back by my master. I'll probably get really scolded by Luciel too.
Come to think of it, it's not fortunate at all, is it?
"Amazing. How about trying the real trial too? I think you could finish it quickly."
"I'll pass."
Since I experienced it once, even if it was just a taste, I can roughly predict what kind of content it would be.
Whether my prediction is right or wrong, it would definitely be a memory I don't want to face at all.
Personally, I think trauma doesn't necessarily have to be overcome by facing it head-on.
Sometimes forgetting might be better.
"Then you're going?"
"I have to. I'll give Luciel your regards. Is there anything specific you want to say?"
"Remember what you said before challenging the trial?"
"Which thing?"
"You said you'd buy lots of chocolate bars and come see our sister and me."
Ah, that's right.
Since she mentioned chocolate bars first, it seems chocolate bars have higher priority than her sister...
Is it because they're sisters?
"Luciel still can't come out freely, so when it becomes possible."
But to come here and meet Lumiel, don't I have to challenge the trial again?
I asked just in case, and my expectation was right.
But she said it's fine to just send Luciel near the Gate of Origin so we can meet, so I promised to drop by later.
Even though it's America, not Korea, I can come instantly with warp magic.
"Oh, and here."
Lumiel hands me a small orange marble.
It's exactly the size of the marbles I used to play with as a child.
In the original work, it was described as being the size of a young child's head - is it because of the difficulty level?
"How do I use this?"
"Hold the marble and make a wish, and it will come true. There's not much you can do with that size though."
I wanted to ask specifically what I could do with it, but Lumiel said time was up and disappeared with the light.
Thinking it might be useful someday, I carefully tucked it away and returned to the entrance where the camping car was.
I used subspace magic to store the camping car and used invisibility magic.
I'm a bit late, but I've gained an unexpected harvest too, so now it's time to go outside