Chapter 3
Chapter 3
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 3
Chapter Title: All Trash Games Are Like That - 3
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📰 [Admin] Title: Time to Block the Trolls? Author: Gold Rush🔹 *This post is visible only to board administrators. Shouldn't we start blocking those Bunny Duo pic collections in the comments? It's starting to feel like brain-dead trolling. They don't even drop coordinates in the replies, just spam-posting for a whole week... Whatever, as long as we know we can just keep climbing higher, that's all that matters. Let's just ban them for a week. 💬 Comments — Fur Lover🔹 ㅠㅠ Don't turn on each other like this ㅠㅠ — Apostle of Justice🔹 Agreed. I believe there's no malicious intent,, so let's trust them^.^ — Gold Rush🔹 Still, a whole week is too much... — Apostle of Justice🔹 ^0^ As the saying goes, "No flower blooms for ten days straight." If netizens,, get tired of it,,, they just won't send more comments, right? Let's understand with generous~~ hearts *^^* — Gold Rush🔹 Ah, got it... Fine, it motivates the kids anyway, so I'll let it slide. — Apostle of Justice🔹 ^_^ Thanks for caring even when you're tired...☞☜ Leaving a single rose as a wake-up gift *@}>->---- Whirling away~~ A narrow forest path littered with goblin corpses here and there.
“Kyaaack—!”
“KieEEK—!”
Three small goblins leaped down from the trees, baring their jagged teeth. Child-sized, about seven years old, crude spears clutched in both hands.
'Definitely poison on the spear tips.'
The moment I heard that, I clapped my hands.
⚡ SKILL ACTIVATED ⚡ Pierce! Clap—!
With that, the dozens of water droplets floating behind me rippled. They froze in an instant, transforming into sharp ice shards that intercepted the three goblins.
Splat!
A sharp sound rang out as the ice shards shot forward in a straight line. Like shotgun pellets, they pierced all three goblins' chests simultaneously.
Boom!
Boom!
Boom!
Blood spraying, the goblins tumbling from the trees dropped dead on the spot.
Clang!
Perhaps due to the poison vials they carried, the spear goblins shattered small bottles upon impact. A acrid poison scent spread around.
“Tch...”
I wrinkled my nose and summoned a breeze. A gentle but wide-ranging wind scattered the poison in seconds.
-Hiiik—?!
At the same moment, another goblin hidden somewhere bolted in panic. The mud from melting ice betrayed its footsteps.
Squelch, squelch.
“!”
'Hiding till the end... Planning to launch poison darts while I dealt with the first three.'
That's why water magic was so versatile in the field for offense. It let you control the entire environment using natural elements.
'But this time, wood magic...'
I snapped my fingers toward the sound of footsteps.
⚡ SKILL ACTIVATED ⚡ Bind! Snap!
Like the hands of hell reaching from the underworld, the lush grass stretched thin and long. It wrapped around the fleeing goblin broadly, binding it like rope.
“Kiek!?”
Now I could see its size properly. Twice the usual goblin, armed with hunting tools—a hobgoblin. The typical boss of goblin villages.
'As expected, a status-effect boss lurking for an ambush.'
Commanding from the shadows, like it was directing.
I raised my finger, then lowered it.
'Up, then down!'
Whoosh—!
Matching my gesture, the hobgoblin bound in the bushes shot upward, then plummeted fast. Terror-stricken, it thrashed desperately as the ground rushed toward its head.
But it was futile.
“Kieeek...!”
The hobgoblin's head smashed into the ground.
Splutch!
Its skull burst like a watermelon.
That took care of the ambush squad from behind.
'Time to rejoin the main force.'
I headed toward the soldiers' cheers. There, leather-armored troops clashed with a goblin horde.
“Waaah—!”
“Kyaaack—!”
Chaos everywhere.
In this mess, firing a fireball recklessly would engulf our own troops. So I targeted named mobs lurking on the sidelines.
'The soldiers won't lose a straight fight anyway.'
The greener recruits trembled amid the shouts and screams, repulsed by the malice-filled eyes charging at them.
“Hiiik?!”
But veteran shouts snapped them back. These were true survivors of the Great Catastrophe.
“Goblins suck in a head-on fight! Even a seven-year-old with a stick can win! And the Lord's here! Nothing's gonna happen, so shut up and push!”
“Yes, sir!”
I spotted Captain Luciana at the front, whirling her massive greatsword like a windmill, cutting through foes effortlessly.
“Hyaaah—!! This is what happens to monster hordes eyeing the Walled City—!!”
Crunch!
Crunch!
Blender blades.
Her wildly swinging greatsword was caked in gore.
I called out to her.
“Luciana!”
“Yes, Lord Lucius—!!”
“The line's holding firm! Pull the soldiers back! Time for 'that'!”
“Understood—!!”
Luciana raised her greatsword high and bellowed. Her voice echoed unnaturally loud—thanks to her 'Special' ability, Command.
[Soldiers—!! Fall back three paces—!] “Yes!”
“Yes!”
“Yes!”
Thanks to grueling drills, the troops thrust spears forward and retreated in perfect sync, footsteps thumping rhythmically.
“One!”
“Two!”
“Three!”
A sliver of space opened between soldiers and goblins in the chaotic woods. Luciana dashed in, swinging her greatsword at a nearby tree.
“Hrah—!!”
Crunch—!
The tree toppled with a heavy thud, crashing precisely toward the clustered goblins.
“Kik?”
“Kyak...?”
“Kihehe!”
The goblins sneered and edged back slyly. Weak but cunning, they could spot harmless attacks a mile away.
The tree didn't kill any. Dozens of goblins isolated the group, eyeing the gap around Luciana hungrily.
I snapped my fingers at the fallen tree.
⚡ SKILL ACTIVATED ⚡ Growth—!! Snap!
The downed tree twitched like a flopping fish. Vitality surged, swelling it taut.
Crack!
Hundreds of sharp branches erupted rapidly, skewering nearby goblins like a thorn bomb.
Pierce!
Pierce!
Pierce!
Fast-growing limbs impaled dazed goblins' chests, hoisting them skyward with their life force.
“Kieeeek—!”
“Kueeek!?”
“Kuheuk...”
Like cruel Christmas ornaments.
Dozens screamed in midair.
I hurled a fireball at the goblin tree.
⚡ SKILL ACTIVATED ⚡ Explosion. Roar—!
“...”
Watching the crackling goblin tree burn...
I declared the forest cleanup done for the day.
“Let's head back.”
“Yes!”
Captain Luciana saluted sharply, then ordered the troops' return with her booming voice. She patted my arm and whispered, using the old nickname from childhood.
“Good work, Brother Luke. Everyone made it back safe because of you. Without you, the casualties would've been huge.”
“...”
I nodded.
Fire, water, wood, wind, earth.
A mage versed in mid-tier elemental magic had unmatched versatility. Any situation could be solved combining two or three elements.
But...
'...It's exhausting.'
I could rampage like this thanks to my Great Catastrophe experience. But mid-tier limits—stuck to existing elements—meant constant scrambling.
'Can't keep this up forever.'
Advanced magic.
Calling lightning from empty skies, summoning sandstorms—that power was what I craved.
'So with this guest I invited...'
That thought was interrupted.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Climber 'Niva' has completed the quest you assigned. Completed Quest: Carry Bricks to the Wall Top ⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Climber 'Niva' has completed the quest you assigned. Completed Quest: Clear Drainage Debris ⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Climber 'Niva' has completed the quest you assigned. Completed Quest: Haul Wheat Sacks to the Church ...
...
...
“!”
High-level climber indeed.
Handled every tricky request.
'Cool as expected from a spatial archmage.'
Grinning, I sent 10 EXP points per quest as reward via the notification.
'Gallery rates say this much.'
I returned to the Walled City. The middle-aged rabbit pervert was there to greet me. A face I'd once hated now felt familiar.
'The face of the all-purpose worker who'll revive our city.'
I wiped goblin blood from my face and said,
“Niva!”
“...”
“You completed all the quests! Thank you so much. Need anything else? Favorite food, maybe?”
“...”
He fidgeted, arms crossed, then spoke curtly.
“Already got the EXP.”
“How about better lodgings?”
“No thanks. Stayed a week fine. And overdoing it feels burdensome. Quests for rewards only.”
“Haha, that's separate. I just want to give it.”
“Why? What do you want?”
Advanced grimoire!
...Couldn't say that outright. We weren't that close yet. I could guess why he was so wary.
'Gallery said NPCs backstab often.'
So...
'Flatter this suspicious archmage's work and probe gently.'
I scratched my cheek.
“Fair enough. Want to inspect the quest sites together? Extra reward if better than expected, none if lacking.”
“...”
Niva started to argue, then sighed. He pulled a massive staff from thin air and tapped the ground.
⚡ SKILL ACTIVATED ⚡ Warp. “!”
Poof!
In a blink, from the wall gate to the top.
Bricks for repairs stacked neatly before us.
Niva asked,
“How's this?”
“Better than...”
“...”
“...Perfect.”
“Huh?”
“Bricks are always 10%... sometimes half unusable when moved. But this? Flawless. Truly grateful.”
“This big a deal?”
“Yes.”
I pointed to the blocks, each adult-torso sized.
“See this monstrous size? Masons always hurt their backs. But for the city's safety, repairs are mandatory.”
“...”
“Handling such dangerous work so cleanly.”
I nodded.
“As expected of Niva. On behalf of Walled City Baran, thank you.”
“...”
Niva fiddled with his staff.
“Look, you probably know, but this is nothing for me. Drainage or hauling? One warp.”
“I know.”
“So why the generous rewards?”
“Generous? Just EXP and food...”
His words chilled me—had I misjudged rates and played the sucker?
'Was spamming EXP that noobish?'
Niva continued.
“You could make me fight instead of soldiers. Or lifelong slave. I'd have no comeback.”
“...”
“You fight covered in blood yourself, yet give me these trivial tasks. Curious why.”
“I see.”
Of course.
Beyond the grimoire—
Another reason.
I nodded.
“I'm this city's lord.”
“Lord?”
“As one who loves and protects it, I can't exploit visitors.”
“First NPC like that.”
The jaded middle-aged man's awkward face was amusing.
So I smiled.
“Niva.”
“Yeah.”
“Enjoyed your time here?”
“!”
Niva nodded slowly.
“...Yeah. Good. Tasty food, kind people.”
“Glad to hear. That's enough.”
'A grimoire trade someday would be even better.'
Whish—
The evening wind on the wall brushed us.
“...”
“...”
Feeling it, I said,
“Let's head back. I want a bath.”
“B-bathhouse? There's one?”
“Yes, right of the Lord's Manor. Didn't know?”
“Huh, bathhouse. Sure.”
“Open to residents, but few come—most hate washing.”
“R-really?!”
I chuckled at his jolt.
“Yes, use it anytime, Niva.”
“Hm, well, tired of splashing at the well anyway.”
“Right.”
Of course, I meant the men's bath. Telling a middle-aged perv about the women's felt off.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ A bit later.
In the steamy bathhouse, I faced a woman covering herself with her hands. Her explosive figure was too much for that.
Amid the shock, a question arose.
'Local? Why sneak into the men's bath...'
She glared resentfully and yelled,
“Y-you tricked me...! You fraud!”
“?”
What was she on about?