Chapter 26
Chapter 26
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 26
Chapter Title: The Best Defense is Offense - 1
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🏰 Tower Climbing Gallery [General] — Title: Ughhh Dick's Bursting Wanna Jerk Off So Bad Author: SquishyTitCowDemonKing Dick was throbbing like crazy when I got to Baran.... Scarfed down tasty porridge and doggo meat, belly's stuffed.... Bloated belly got me happy.... But balls bloated too.... Wanna jerk off.... — MagicStick10inch Just jerk off retard ↳ Reply SquishyTitCowDemonKing: Little sis is right here ;; ↳ Reply popapo01: Ahahahahahahaha ↳ Reply OilFishCraving: Jerking off somewhere out of sight lol ↳ Reply SquishyTitCowDemonKing: We're in the same room;;; — popapo01 This guy's super suspicious lol ↳ Reply OilFishCraving: Fr lol ↳ Reply SquishyTitCowDemonKing: No it's my real-ass blood sister you psycho, not some chick with tits on her head;;;;; — MagicStick10inch Just jerk off retard ↳ Reply SquishyTitCowDemonKing: You fucking psycho??? Little sis is right next to me why would I jerk off??? ↳ Reply IncestLover: Fr lol jerking off in the same inn room as your sister lololol ↳ Reply OilFishCraving: Fr lol ↳ Reply OilFishCraving: Wait a sec this guy's wording is weird af ↳ Reply popapo01: Nickname's already sus af lololol ⭐ [Best] — Title: Found Love Today Author: KALSONG 31 years of my life. There were times during that long solo streak when self-loathing hit hard. But I realized it was all for today and got chills. My pure heart, ki, body.... All of it was meant to be offered to the love I found in Baran. — WallBloodInvincible Gal lord or what? ↳ Reply KALSONG: Nah ↳ Reply WallBloodInvincible: Who then ↳ Reply KALSONG: Dogkin girl working by the plaza stairs ↳ Reply WallBloodInvincible: ?? Didn't see any dogkin girl there ↳ Reply KALSONG: Probably cuz she's 41 this year ↳ Reply WallBloodInvincible: You psycho that's not a girl that's a full-on auntie lolololol — FaceLowKick Lolololol insane — Fur Lover🔹 Ang♡ I'll cheer you on~ — PlumpPuffNyang No lolololol — mnorl Damn fur + chicken coop is no joke; ↳ Reply KALSONG: Don't call it a chicken coop it's love to me ↳ Reply mnorl: You're nuts lol married or what? ↳ Reply KALSONG: Ate dinner together last night, turns out she's single cuz she's been raising village orphans since way back ㅇㅇ So we're going on a date today lolol ↳ Reply mnorl: Fr? lol asked her out? ↳ Reply KALSONG: Yeah gonna seal the deal today lol heart's about to explode rn lololol ↳ Reply mnorl: Holy shit this is hilarious lolololol — Apostle of Justice Fight-ing~~!!(^0^) — MapleSyrup🔸 Lololololol — Gold Rush🔹 Thought it was some big deal but holy shit lololol one side's frantically messaging about climbing floor 52 and this psycho's off banging a furry auntie lolololol ◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ -So the Mist Forest—.
-If we head this way….
-From the features of the forest in the previous layer—.
Murmur murmur.
Voices coming from inside the temporary sanctuary.
Lucius, Aslan, and the Sword Empress were discussing based on Emil's testimony. They were taking a cautious approach to tackling the forest, which had the clear penalty of a 'curse'.
-First, how about our Holy Knights form an advance strike team to confirm the curse penalty?
-If you do that, it would shame us….
As the discussion dragged on, Niva, who had been stuck to Lucius's side, grew frustrated and stepped outside the building. She was now squatting by the water jar.
"…."
'Doesn't feel like I'm being much help anyway.'
Niva had Warp. In other words, she had rarely scouted terrain or mapped out strategies for layers beyond a certain point. She mostly just sped ahead with blitz tactics.
Which meant,
She wasn't much help when preparing for a group assault like this.
'Truth be told, lately I've been feeling even less useful.'
Niva let out a sigh.
"Hoo…."
'Can't warp more than three people at once.'
Her diminishing value.
The low-tier climbers handled city development manpower, and mid-tier climbers were plenty for everything except high-difficulty boss fights.
At first, Lucius had excitedly dumped every task on Niva, but he gradually assigned her less and less until she hadn't even taken a single quest lately.
【Quest Goal: Escort the Lord until the guilt fades.】 "…."
'Lucius said I'm an outstanding magic teacher. But really, it's just that he gets it all after I explain once, inferring everything. And even that's gone now since I gave him all the advanced magic tomes….'
She didn't regret giving him the advanced magic tomes.
Just.
Gave them out of gratitude.
"…."
But.
For some reason…. It left a hollow feeling, like she'd handed over her entire hand too quickly.
'If there's nothing left to give or receive in a relationship….'
If there was any value left to her, it was just the solo escort quest for Lucius.
'But if someone else takes even that?'
Then.
Again….
Climb the tower alone?
Leave these memories behind,
And warp ahead faster than everyone else again—.
"…."
"Nyahahaha."
"!"
A sudden burst of laughter.
Niva glanced sideways while still squatting. The water jar lid clicked open, revealing eerie pointed cat eyes and a sinister voice from within.
"Nyahahaha…!"
Glowing green cat eyes in the darkness exuded an otherworldly vibe.
Niva tilted her head.
'Why was this one hiding in here?'
Regardless of her thoughts,
The Catkin Tribe princess Hatije greeted her slyly.
"What a pleasant surprise. Nyaa. I'm the greatest alchemist of the Catkin Tribe and heir to the chieftain's blood. Hatije at your service. Nyahaha."
"Why're you coming out of the water jar?"
"Nyaa, nyaa. Never mind such trifles. I have something I'd like you to hear."
"…."
'No, I was genuinely curious.'
Hatije spoke.
"By any chance, are you troubled over your relationship with the great ruler, Lord Lucius?"
"!"
Niva whipped her head around reflexively. She fiddled with her bunny ears and sunglasses repeatedly.
"…No."
"Nyahat, nyaa—."
But Hatije's eyes narrowed into crescents. Smiling with her eyes, she said,
"Ahh, I see. Of course. The lady closest to being the Lord's principal wife wouldn't worry over such trivial matters."
"Not the principal wife."
"Then his most beloved concubine?"
"Not a concubine either."
"Nyaaa…. What a picky girl. Rumors are flying around the castle that the bunny girl lives under the same roof as the Lord, always holding hands intimately…."
"!"
Niva huffed.
"Hmph. R-Really? Everyone saw? When? They got nothing better to do?"
"Nyaa, nyaa."
Despite her haughty tone,
Niva's lips twitched upward, not entirely displeased. A strange thrill bubbled up in her heart, which usually ignored bothersome human relations.
Chill.
Chill.
"…."
'It was just... walking around with an NPC. They'll make a fuss and post weird stuff on the gallery. Obvious without looking. I just use it like SNS anyway. They're the ones obsessed—.'
Even her own heart in turmoil. She interlaced her fingers and mumbled at her lips, fidgeting restlessly.
Watching her,
Hatije spoke in her ever-laughing tone.
"Then what I'll say from now on is just my own mumbling. Milady."
"Not milady…!"
"Nyaa, nyaa."
Calming the bristling Niva again. She pulled a vial of transparent liquid from her bosom.
"Nyaaa, this is one of the Catkin Tribe's secret elixirs, passed down in utmost secrecy—a secret among secrets. Even the tribal elders possess just one each. The ultimate treasure."
"Ultimate treasure?"
"Yes. Even in the ancient history of the now-fallen Beastman Empire, it's one reason the Catkin Tribe always stayed at the center of power."
"What kind of potion?"
Hatije's eyes narrowed slyly, gleaming with cunning.
"The Elixir of True Hearts that resolves troubles between man and woman! One vial packs a punch. But even a few drops shared out work wonders!"
"…."
"On the honor of the Catkin Tribe, my name, and the Moon Wolf. No side effects, so rest assured."
"…."
'That's the Beastkin ultimate oath. Breaking it means death.'
But Niva's eyes narrowed in suspicion. She'd spotted a flaw in Hatije's words.
"This is just an aphrodisiac without side effects, right? The kind where true feelings follow after some body talk…. Nah. If it was something that crude that could solve it—."
"Nyaa, nyaa."
A dismissive wave.
Hatije waved her hand to calm the ahead-of-the-curve Niva once more.
"Milady, our Catkin secret isn't that simplistic. Frankly, just showing your voluptuous figure to the Lord in the bedroom, and for two young people, bodies joining is the natural flow, no? Nature needs no potion."
"H-Hmph. What're you even saying."
Niva played dumb. She crossed her arms and subtly turned away. It was a method she'd considered once, but hesitated over seeming too easy.
'Plus that guy. He saw me in the bath and cave and barely reacted.'
Hatije said to such a Niva,
"For example, my diagnosis is that your issue isn't the body, but the heart."
"Heart?"
"Yes. It's proper for a highborn lady to conduct herself with dignity, elevating herself with knowledge and skill…. But no need to be aloof even in love, right?"
"N-Not love."
"Nyaa, nyaa. Sure, let's say that. Anyway, what I want to say is—."
Clink—!
Hatije proffered the transparent vial.
"Honestly, you just want him, don't you?"
"…."
"He's the richest noble, the mighty ruler. Ashamed of that? Nyaa…. To me, as a woman's ambition, it looks loftier than anyone's."
"Shut up."
"Plus, such a ruler proudly boasting his woman as his teacher in front of others… a tender man like that, honestly, you'd have no grounds to complain if snatched away anytime."
"!"
Niva jumped.
'She was eavesdropping from there on?'
Hatije continued.
"So, even if childish at times. Laying bare true hearts can get you to that ambition sooner than anyone. That's my gift."
"…."
"Drink this, and for a while, you can voice deep inner thoughts without tension."
"…."
'Like the Calming Pill Grandpa? The one he ate before conference presentations…. The one in the apartment cabinet I snuck and got scolded for.'
That thought eased her guard. Niva stared at the vial, hesitating, then quietly took it and asked.
"Why give me this."
"Nyahahat."
Hatije, mission accomplished, slowly sank back into the water jar, answering,
"Just a small token. When you and the Lord are fully united someday. Not those handy doggies, just remember 'who helped'… that's enough…."
"…."
"Nyahahaha—."
"…."
'Her own survival strategy, I guess.'
Eventually, the voice faded.
Niva toyed with the vial briefly. Then peeked inside the water jar. Astonishingly, only an endless hole lay at the bottom.
'Dug underneath already?'
Niva sighed. Then stared at the vial in her hand for a long while before stashing it in her subspace.
'Someday…. Might come in handy.'
The meeting inside the temporary sanctuary continued.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Several hours later.
The base camp HQ buzzed.
"Now, reporting the scouting results."
"!"
As per the meeting with Aslan and the Sword Empress, I welcomed the Hundred Swords Society advance team that had scouted the forest first.
'They're the fastest on the move after all.'
They'd exhausted dozens of curse-lifting items distributed by the priests.
-This ain't a one- or two-day thing.
-Why? Curse spreads that bad?
-Yeah, gauge just shoots up right in front…!
Amid the commotion.
Advance captain Sword Ghost reported, sweating bullets.
"The moment we entered the forest, yellow snake eyes watching us in hallucination appeared. Then a notification popped up immediately."
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ 【Those who enter the serpent's domain shall become its limbs.】 "At the same time, vision turned increasingly red. It screamed curse precursor, so we urgently used curse-lift items, restoring sight to normal."
But the problem didn't end there.
Sword Ghost sighed.
"This kept happening throughout the forest. Consuming lift items once a minute, eventually deemed impossible to proceed, so we retreated."
"…."
Worst case.
'Days-long distance with instant-death curse every minute?'
Insane. You'd need mountains of curse-lift consumables. Straight out of some retro RPG's brutal grind trap.
"…."
'Even making 'em all winter wouldn't suffice.'
As we all stood dazed.
Sword Ghost's report continued.
"But this stopped exactly once."
"!"
I asked.
"Where?"
"Where the serpent statue appeared."
"Serpent statue…!"
Snake-shaped statue.
Instinctively smashing the one like a streetlamp somewhere on the forest path lifted the curse for nearby people, he said.
Sword Ghost said gravely.
"But…. Aside from the one found by chance, they're hidden all over the paths, so judged too hard to advance smashing each one."
"I see."
I pondered briefly.
'Can't hunt down and smash statues in the foggy forest center within the 1-minute limit one by one. Magic or sword arts take time to locate too.'
But….
What if.
A brute-force AoE attack,
That demolished the entire forest path?
'It's the method the US military used in past lives anyway.'
I looked at Niva beside me.
"Lady Niva."
"Huh? Y-Yeah? W-Why…?"
Her dazed expression somehow, eyes widening behind sunglasses. I extended my hand and said,
"How about smashing those few hundred meters ahead? With a rock drop."
"?"
"!"
Niva took my hand.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Groooooooaaaan—!
A massive stone pillar plummeted from the sky.
And upon colliding with the ground, black flames embedded in the pillar flashed. They roared, incinerating everything in a hundreds-of-meters radius.
KABOOOOOM—!
Back at base camp, Niva and I could see the notifications. Seemed from the statues destroyed in the pillar's impact aftermath.
⚔ STATUS ⚔ 【The statue has crumbled, and the curse has been lifted.】 【The statue has crumbled, and the curse has been lifted.】 【The statue has crumbled, and the curse has been lifted.】 … … … 'Lucky Emil's Saintess Flower keeps Niva and me curse-immune.'
I checked the pink flower in my pocket. Then gave a thumbs-up to the dazed climbers.
"Smashing everything straight ahead like this should make it safe."
"…."
"…."
"…."
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