The Shadow of a Sexless Marriage
"So what you're saying, honey, is that Senior Chul-min and his wife ended up divorcing because their sexless relationship kept dragging on?"
My wife had been listening with a neutral expression at first, but the topic clearly hooked her interest. She rolled over to face me fully as she spoke.
"That's the conclusion, yeah. Senior's been struggling a lot lately because of it. I was thinking about buying him a drink soon and offering some comfort."
"Good, you should definitely do that. It's really unfortunate. I can't imagine how devastated he must feel. He probably pictured a future of eternal happiness..."
She was always so sentimental. After expressing her sympathy for Senior, she stared at me and continued.
"So their marriage was completely sexless?"
"Pretty much. Though to be exact, it was mostly his ex-wife. Senior Chul-min has always had a strong sex drive."
"Then she kept turning him down even when he was sending signals?"
"That's right. Apparently she was never that interested in that side of things. Their personalities clashed so badly when it came to sex that he eventually couldn't take it anymore."
"Wow... Just hearing about it sounds awful. Honestly, that's the kind of thing that destroys a man's pride, don't you think, honey?"
"Uh... yeah, I suppose so."
The subject of a sexless marriage was never a light one for any man, and as the conversation continued, I began to feel strangely uneasy. My wife, however, seemed almost fascinated by it. Her eyes darted around as if she were turning the idea over in her mind.
"Still, if a couple can't maintain a normal intimate relationship, I can see how divorce might happen."
"Really?" Her words jolted me awake. Hearing the word divorce come from my own wife's mouth startled me, yet at the same time a strange curiosity flickered to life.
"Of course. Sexual intimacy is incredibly important in a marriage, isn't it? It's one of those fundamental things that can't be separated from a man and woman being together. Don't you agree with that more than anyone, honey?"
She was aiming straight at my high sex drive, and I couldn't deny that I agreed completely. It was an undeniable truth. Sex between a man and a woman was vitally important. If you asked anyone whether they could marry someone incapable of having sex, the overwhelming majority would say no. This went beyond everything else; it was a matter of basic human instinct, something essential between partners.
In the end, my position was simple: sex between a man and a woman was absolutely necessary. Whether their love ran deep or shallow, if their sexual compatibility didn't match, many couples eventually split. I'd seen countless examples on various online communities. Sex intersected with love, but it needed to be considered on its own terms.
Luckily, the compatibility between me and my wife was excellent. At least from my perspective. She always said our relationship was good too, but since I wasn't her, I couldn't know for certain how she truly felt. That said, sex with her was genuinely the best. Continuing on the topic, I believed that for a married couple who had vowed to spend their entire lives together, a proper marital bond couldn't last without healthy sexual intimacy.
If they were both old and past their prime, maybe it would be different. But at our vigorous age, sex was clearly essential. Unmarried couples could break up and find new partners, but marriage created a special situation where that wasn't so simple. Just looking at Senior's case made it obvious how serious the complete absence of sex could be in a marriage.
"I'd be happy even if we never had sex again for the rest of our lives," I said, grinning like a mischievous kid.
"Oh please. Do you honestly think that's possible, honey?"
"Haha, the problem is you know me too well, Yujin. I can't even make a single joke."
"Exactly. You're an open book to me. Who do you think you're fooling?"
She paused for a moment as if thinking, then spoke again.
"I know I'm basically a beast when it comes to your sex drive, but you're really saying it's fine if we stop completely?"
"Yujin, even so, calling your husband who's only four years older a beast..."
"That's not what I meant. Did I make you angry?"
"What? No..."
Just as I started to answer, I felt her hand brush lightly across my thigh. Her fingers slowly traveled upward while she looked at me with pure mischief written all over her face.
"Now that I think about it, you haven't been initiating as much as you used to, have you? Back in our honeymoon days, you'd pounce on me like a wild animal several times a day."
"That's... well, I mean..."
"What? Have you really lost interest in me? Hmph! Now I'm upset."
"It's not that. I've just been swamped with work lately. Must have been pretty tired."
"I'm only teasing, honey. I know better than anyone how hard you've been working. I understand completely."
"What exactly do you understand, Yujin?"
"Since I quit my job and became a full-time housewife, I've had a lot of free time. I've been looking into all sorts of things and picked up quite a bit of general knowledge. Statistically speaking, it's completely normal and natural for couples to have sex less often as they get older."
"Hmm... I see."
Work had been incredibly busy for me recently, so I hadn't been paying much attention to our sex life. If someone asked whether we'd properly been intimate lately, I'd have to hesitate. Unlike me, it seemed my wife had been thinking about this quite a bit. Her words made me feel a sudden pang of guilt.
"Yeah, that's what the statistics say. And it's not like we're completely avoiding each other, right? Honestly, even if we're doing it less than before, I don't think it's a huge problem. But I would really hate it if we became one of those 'sexless' couples who sleep in separate rooms and never touch each other. That would be so sad. It would make me wonder if you stopped seeing me as a woman anymore."
"Of course not! I hate that idea too. A sexless marriage sounds as horrible as me becoming a eunuch. Whenever I look at you, all I want is to have sex. Even right now, just seeing you makes me stay hard. I'll keep loving you forever."
My rather crude love confession made her burst out laughing.
"Thanks, even if it's just words haha."
"Have I ever been all talk?"
The moment I finished speaking, I turned toward her, reached out, and wrapped my arm around her impossibly slender waist. I pulled her firmly into my chest. Soon her exquisite face was right in front of mine.
"With a beautiful wife like you beside me, isn't it normal that I'm always hard? You know me. This Lee Gyu-min can go several times a day without breaking a sweat."
"Pfft. Okay, but honey, please stop talking like that. It makes me feel so embarrassed."
She glanced at me shyly. I gazed back into her eyes. For several seconds we simply stared at each other as if by some silent agreement.
Her face was filled with a beauty I never grew tired of, no matter how often I saw it. The soft glow from the mood lamp on the bedside table enhanced the bedroom atmosphere and created a subtly erotic mood at the same time.
The atmosphere that had formed between us made it perfectly clear what was about to happen next.
"Kiss me, honey..."
She looked at me with heavy-lidded eyes, her fresh lips parting as she whispered.
The moment I heard her, my body reacted instantly, as if it had been waiting for exactly those words.
"Mmm... mmh..."
"Haa... mmm..."
Our lips pressed together, then parted, only to meet again. Gradually our mouths opened and our tongues intertwined. Kissing Yujin always felt new to me. It was as if her saliva contained some narcotic that flooded me with dopamine every time.
For me, kissing was one of the most arousing forms of intimacy. Just kissing made my body grow hot, my excitement building as blood rushed downward. Just like now.
"Haa... ah..."
She was already moaning from the kiss alone. Now that I thought about it, had we even shared such a deep kiss recently? During our newlywed days we did it whenever the mood struck, indoors or out. There were even times when an intense kiss at the front door before work nearly led to more, almost making me late. Fortunately I had never actually been late.
Has it really been a whole month since we last connected like this? I can't even remember exactly when. Have I been too busy lately? I must have been far too indifferent to her.
While guilt washed over me, Yujin focused entirely on our kiss. Her soft moans tickled my ears as her hands continued to roam across my body.