Teaching the Rude Luxury Boutique Clerk a Lesson
“Me?”
I turned around.
A woman I’d never seen before. About a hundred and eighty centimeters tall. Willowy. A small face. What people call a nine-head proportion? Eyes, nose, and mouth all neatly packed into that tiny face. Neat brows, big eyes. Almost deer-like. If she’d been shorter, she would have been the national little-sister type. A cute little nose you wanted to pinch. Red lips that stood out against her white skin. She was wearing a cute white sheer blouse that looked expensive at a glance. Cartier watch. No way that was a fake if she was wearing it into a place like this. Balenciaga shoes. Hermès handbag. She was draped in luxury from head to toe.
And a woman like that knew me?
No chance.
“Oppa, what are you doing here? Did you come to shop?”
The woman who looked like pure luxury was acting like she knew me. The boutique clerk went pale. That beggar of a guy and this store’s VIP were calling each other oppa and little sister? After the way she’d just treated me like dirt? Her face curdled.
I looked at the woman covered in designer brands.
“Uh… I think you might have the wrong person?”
The expensive-looking woman shook her head left and right. She studied me carefully.
“Oh. Ah. I’m sorry. I mistook you.”
Ah. Of course. The boutique clerk’s expression said the same thing — of course. She’d been gearing up to suck up to me for the VIP’s sake, even if only for a second.
I turned my back. A woman that high-class would never know someone like me. We lived in different worlds.
And then the woman quietly slipped up behind me. What was she doing? Her arm snaked around my neck.
Huh?
“Oppa! Now that you’ve made it big, you’re just going to pretend you don’t know me? You’re so mean!”
What the hell was she talking about? The elegant woman yanked my neck in a very inelegant headlock and squeezed. My face sank naturally into her chest.
Oh.
Not a bad feeling. Firm and full. Hmm. C-cup.
“Oppa, no matter how busy you are, call me once in a while, okay?”
Excuse me? I’d have to know who you are first. I’d love to call, actually?
She released the headlock. Honestly, if it was a headlock that buried me in a beautiful woman’s firm chest, I wouldn’t have minded a little more of it.
“Oppa, the boss was looking for you too. Asking why you weren’t answering. Aigoo, seriously. It’s not like you live alone in this world. Fine, you’re the hottest guy in Korea right now, so maybe you can get away with it — but what are you going to do when the popularity fades?”
“Excuse me?”
Ah……
It clicked. This high-class woman had also mistaken me for that Park Jihyun guy. Of course she was on a different level. She actually seemed to know him personally.
“Ah, did you maybe mix me up with that celebrity? Park Jihyun?”
At the name Park Jihyun, the boutique clerk’s ears practically flapped.
“P-Park Jihyun! For real!”
Ah, fuck. This was starting to feel ominous again.
“Oppa! Did you think I wouldn’t recognize you just because you’re walking around like this? Ah, seriously, I’m hurt.”
The boutique clerk scurried closer and started drinking in my face. Then she whispered with the other staff like they were holding a beauty appraisal. The bad feeling only got worse.
“Look, you really do have the wrong person. I’m not that celebrity. I’m going to go.”
I would have liked to keep talking to the glamorous woman, but the atmosphere was turning weird. Running was the answer.
Then—
“Excuse me! Mr. Park Jihyun. Could I get just one autograph?”
The boutique clerk who’d treated me like garbage had her tail between her legs. She was even wagging it. Unbelievable. The second they hear “celebrity,” people’s attitudes flip a hundred and eighty degrees?
Fine. Let’s mess with her a little.
“Weren’t you the one who snubbed me earlier?”
The boutique clerk’s face crumpled like a used tissue.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
She bowed at a full ninety degrees.
“Ah, I was planning to do some serious shopping today, but my mood just tanked.”
I twisted the knife.
“I’m truly sorry…… sir.”
Then a tall, polished woman came rushing over.
“I heard the hottest star in Korea, Park Jihyun, is in our store??”
She already knew I was here and deliberately said “hottest celebrity in Korea” at full volume. Smooth. Too bad I wasn’t actually Park Jihyun.
The boutique clerk’s face was dripping with sweat. The glamorous woman who’d recognized me snitched to the general manager.
“Our Jihyun oppa came all wrapped up so people wouldn’t recognize him, and your employee took one look at his low-key clothes and treated him like garbage.”
“What!!!!???”
The department store general manager’s face went scarlet.
“Is this true, Lee Mijeong?!”
Boutique clerk Lee Mijeong folded at the waist like a closing folder.
“I’m sorry. Manager. I’m truly sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Lee Mijeong! Have you lost your mind? Who are you apologizing to right now! Apologize to Mr. Park Jihyun! Hurry up and apologize!”
Lee Mijeong’s face was a wreck.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I must have been out of my mind. I failed to recognize the hottest star in Korea and made this terrible mistake. Please forgive me! I’m begging you.”
So the boutique clerk who’d treated me like dirt couldn’t even lift her head to Park Jihyun. Rotten bitch.
“The problem isn’t that you didn’t recognize me as Park Jihyun. The problem is you judged a person by their clothes alone. How do you do your job when you only look at the surface like that? Don’t you think?”
Lee Mijeong couldn’t raise her head.
“Mr. Jihyun. It seems we’ve really spoiled your mood. Please give us a chance to make it up to you somehow. We’re begging you.”
The department store general manager bowed at ninety degrees. Normally, even for a celebrity, a department store general manager wouldn’t go this low. But Park Jihyun was currently the hottest idol in Korea — and he barely appeared on TV, so getting a look at him, let alone booking him, was nearly impossible. If they could somehow snag even one photo together and display it, the promotional value for the department store would be enormous.
Assuming, of course, that I was Park Jihyun.
If I stayed too long, I’d get caught. Time to slip away. A crowd was already gathering. At least this was the luxury wing of the mall, so there were no middle or high schoolers — just refined adults. And since celebrities came to this boutique often enough, it didn’t whip people into a complete frenzy.
“Ah, forget it. Just train your staff better from now on.”
“Ah, Mr. Jihyun. Still, somehow…… a chance to make it up……”
A long tail gets stepped on. Time to bolt. I spun around and walked off fast.
A loud voice rang out behind me.
“Lee Mijeong! How the hell do you do your job! Write your resignation right now! You know you don’t need to come in starting tomorrow, right? Do you have any idea how much damage you’ve done to the department store’s image! Ah, fuck, seriously. What are you doing! Hurry up and write that resignation!”
Oof. Fired, huh? Maybe don’t judge people by their clothes next time. She’d brought it on herself.
I took the elevator down and ducked straight into the first-floor restroom. Luckily, no one followed. I took care of business, put my hat and mask back on properly, and headed out. No one was waiting to get a look at me. Good.
Still, shopping any more in this mall wasn’t safe. Middle and high school dragon girls out shopping with their moms could show up any second. And once a mall crowd closed in, you were done. Nowhere to run. You’d get properly molested by the Attack on Pussies swarm.
I got out of the mall as fast as I could.
Haa. Life as a celebrity lookalike is exhausting. Still, using the celebrity thing to teach that rude boutique clerk a lesson felt pretty good.
I walked the streets and picked up some cheap off-brand clothes that caught my eye. Yeah, well. Off-brand was fine in its own way. With a frame like mine, anything would look good on me.
It was still early. As I walked, a movie theater came into view. And the film I’d been wanting to see was playing.
Demon Axe Blade: Muyaho Train.
Ah, I’d really wanted to see this. I bought a ticket on impulse. Popcorn and cola too. With a hundred million won, I didn’t have to wait for matinee discounts — I could watch a movie whenever I wanted. I could buy popcorn and cola. Compared to my old self in the original world, this was outrageous overspending.
I went into the theater. Trailers were still playing. My heart was pounding.
Demon Axe Blade: Muyaho Train!
Demon Axe Blade was a massive hit anime out of Japan. Season one of the anime had finished, and season two was about to start. But before season two, the theatrical film had dropped. Naver’s rating for Demon Axe Blade: Muyaho Train was 9.6. Basically top-tier.
The ratings and comments said it all.
Once the movie started I’d have to turn my phone off, so I opened Katalk one last time. Check Katalk, then shut it down.
That was otherworld Yu Sihyun’s secret-message Katalk. I couldn’t check any further. Hmm? Who was this? Who saw me? Some girl from when I worked at the host bar who happened to spot me? Eh, whatever. I turned the phone off.
“Excuse me.”
A woman sat down in the seat next to mine. Oh, nice. Lucky me? I snuck a glance. Hat on, jacket on. Mask on. Hmm? Even at a glance she looked like a serious beauty. Why was a beauty like that at the movies alone on a Sunday? Either way, pure win for me. Way better than some sweaty guy plopping down beside me.
Sniff. Sniff. She even smelled good.
—Click.
The lights went out. The theater went dark. Trailers for this year’s releases started rolling. Oh! This world had no COVID, so a ton of fun movies were coming out.
The highly anticipated one from Marvol!
Avengers Reunion!
Oh…… I really wanted to see that!
Not to be outdone—
DC’s Justice League 3!
It had been a disaster at first, but it was getting better, huh? I wanted to see that too if I had the time.
Hwaa~ So much good stuff.
I was getting a little drowsy. I yawned and glanced at the girl next to me — no cola, no popcorn. Maybe stick my nose in a little?
“Um, if you don’t mind, want to share the popcorn? It’s too much for one person.”
The girl said nothing. Ah, maybe I shouldn’t have butted in?
“Th… th-thank you.”
Oh. She answered. And her voice was cute.
Like a couple, we started watching the movie with the popcorn between us.