Saturday Night, Thick with the Scent of Night Flowers
[Aaaang! Ahh-hhhk! Haang, haang.]
Kaori-chan's moans were cute, too.
Haaah.
And just like that, thinking about it, the high crashed hard.
Fuck…
It was so unfair.
What good was being a pretty boy with a massive cock if this was how I spent a gorgeous Saturday night — sitting here watching porn?
After coming home, I powered on the computer in my room and dug through the folders. Thankfully, the original owner of this body — the me of this gender-reversed world — had porn tastes that lined up pretty well with mine. His Crow folder and my treasured Crane collection overlapped a lot more than I'd expected.
I'd been worried the pretty little bastard might only have gay stuff stashed away. But no — East and West sorted separately. Folders organized by kink. Folders organized by famous actress. Even a complete Shimiken-hyung compilation. This was the AV collection of a man of culture.
Wait — so did that mean our ideal types were similar, too?
My ideal type…
Around 162 centimeters. A modest, just-right height. A small, pale face. Big, pretty eyes overflowing with sensuality. Cute little-sister energy by day, a sultry succubus by night. A small but neatly upturned nose. Lips red as rubies, and a smile so pretty it could stop your heart — throw in dimples when she laughs and I'd drop dead on the spot. Shoulders not too broad, with collarbones that scream pure feminine beauty. Firm C-cup breasts and a slim waist. A hint of abs would make her even sexier. A perky, just-right-sized ass. Thighs too skinny would be creepy — give me honey thighs with a decent bit of muscle. Legs straight and long, with a clean, elegant line.
Just picturing her made me smile.
But where the hell was a woman that perfect hiding?
Sure, the women I'd seen in this world today had been pretty. Well — except for Detective Chief Ryu Hyejin and her bodybuilder muscles. Ah, fuck, just thinking about her killed the erection I'd worked so hard to build watching porn.
Anyway. I'd seen plenty of beautiful women, but even in this world, my perfect ideal type still hadn't shown up.
[Ah— aaaang! Hkk-kk-kk!]
Ah — was she building toward the climax now?
My Kaori-chan!
Her movements were getting wilder! She was starting to arch her back like a drawn bow!
Damn, wherever this guy had found such good porn… Women in this world tended to be tall, so petite styles like this had to be hard to come by. Ah, right. The Nippon AV ladies were still the same. The only ones who'd changed were the women of Korea.
Alright — enough wandering thoughts. Focus. Focus!
This bastard's equipment wasn't just huge — the erection lasted forever, too. A tool built to make women lose their minds. Right now it was squirming in my hand, but…
Ah, shit. Reality check hitting again.
Come on — concentrate already!
[Aaaaaaang! Haaaaang!!!!! Ki— kimochiiii!! Dame! Dame! Dame!]
S-so good!
Kimochiiiiiii!!!
Kaori-chan, I'm coming with yooouuu!
I— I'm… c-coming—!
—Ding-dong!
Ah, fuck, what the hell!!!!!
Right at the critical moment of unloading all that carefully saved-up protein. Ah, this was genuinely the worst. Why was nothing going right today?! Was this seriously necessary?!
Deputy Sung Hyun was probably getting raped by a wife who could pass for a Spanish model right about now! Hell, even Section Chief Dongcheol was probably banging some bold little taxi-driver girl in a motel!
God above!
You're not even going to let me finish with Kaori-chan?!
—Ding-dong, ding-dong!
"Pizza delivery!"
Haaah. Man, this guy's impatient as hell…
Ah — wait. Listening to the voice, it was a girl. Kind of a cute voice, actually.
"Ah— uh… just a second."
Haaah. Better throw something on fast and go get the pizza. A white shirt happened to be right there.
"We're backed up on deliveries — hurry up and come out!"
Ah, she was really riding my ass about it.
"Yeah, coming. Coming."
Long shirt on — good enough. I pulled back up the underwear I'd dropped to jerk off. My massive cock was still squirming restlessly, ready to spit out protein any second.
J-just hold on a little longer, you bastard. Once hyung grabs the pizza, I'll get you back to our cute little Kaori-chan. You can settle your business then.
—Thud, thud!
I walked to the front door, cracked it open a sliver, and stuck only my hand out. I was in a hurry. The big guy was screaming to let the protein out.
"Here, please."
I wasn't about to say, Sorry, I was mid-jerk-off so I threw clothes on however. That was a little too embarrassing.
"Ah — the pizza's going to tip over. God, this is so annoying."
The woman yanked the door wide open.
What a foul temper—
Uh…
Uh.
What the hell is this.
Why is my ideal type standing there holding a pizza.
Through the open door, she was the perfect ideal type I'd been dreaming of.
A small, pale face with a flawless V-line. Neatly shaped brows. Large, sultry eyes. A cute, upturned nose that was neither too small nor too big. Lips red as rubies. That ruby-red mouth against her white face gave her an almost mystical air.
I swear on my life — in the real world or this one — I had never seen a woman more perfect than this pizza delivery girl.
And it wasn't like I hadn't seen beautiful women. Back in college I'd freelanced as a broadcast station staffer plenty of times. I'd seen basically every top actress Korea had to offer up close. Jeon Ja-hyun. Lee Na-yeon. Song Ae-gyo. I'd seen girl groups until I was sick of them — Girls of the Era, Girlfriend's Friend, Blockpink, Ttwice. If Korea called a woman pretty, I'd basically seen her. Right in front of my face.
Of course they'd been radiant — pretty enough to make you dizzy. But.
I would stake my life on it.
This woman was the top of every woman I had ever seen.
Huh. Well, fuck. Life.
A pizza girl being the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on. My life was legendary.
Her height was right in my favorite range, too — somewhere between 160 and 165. Her chest was clearly a C-cup at a glance. Sure, if she was wearing a padded push-up bra I'd be disappointed — but she was mid pizza shift. No way she'd pull something that impractical.
Probably because she was working, she had on tight, stretchy clothes that hugged her body. Her figure was fully on display. Clearly she worked out hard — not an ounce of spare fat on that firm body. And I say that as a three-year veteran subscriber of workout YouTube channels; my eye was sharp. Her thighs weren't stick-thin either — those honey thighs were alive and well. She clearly put in the work on hip squats, too; that lifted ass was pure filth. Looking at her ass naturally drew the eye to the axe-mark between her legs…
It was so tiny and cute I was certain she was a virgin. She might've tried a dildo once or twice, but a man's cock? First time, guaranteed. Even Unicorn-hyung would've agreed if he'd been here.
But—
This fucking—
Was my massive cock the unicorn here?
Uh.
Uhhhhh…
My massive unicorn cock was thrashing violently. I'd already been on the edge, and the sight of that virgin pussy must have sent me over.
You fucking bastard!!!!!
Hey! You insane piece of shit!
Not now!
—Throb, throb, throoob!
Ah… aaaaaahhhhhhh—
You crazy, broken bastard.
N-not now, a-ahhng—
Ah, aah noooooo— no no no!
Spurt!!
Squirt-squirtsquirt!
Squirt-squirtsquirtsquirtsquirt!
Ah, fuck.
Fuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!!!
I— I blew white all over.
I'd just come from pure fantasy-jerking right in front of my ideal type.
Ah, fuck, the smell of cock-juice. That night-flower scent every man knows was flooding the air.
This was bad.
The woman was looking at me with suspicious eyes.
I was going to lose my mind.
If I said, You were so pretty and sexy I just accidentally blew my load, that was an instant police report, right?
Grab the pizza like nothing happened and bolt.
"Ah. Uh… th-the pizza, please."
Was I an idiot.
Feeling post-nut afterglow at a time like this. The afterglow made the words come out like a complete moron.
But then my ideal-type woman handed over the pizza — and suddenly bowed her head a full ninety degrees.
"I'm so sorry. I think I got excited because it's been so long since I've seen a handsome man. I won't look at you with such lewd eyes again."
What the hell kind of nonsense was that.
Ah, whatever. At least it seemed like she hadn't noticed I'd blown my load looking at her.
Huge win.
She lifted her head — and her gaze stopped dead on my underwear, soaked and plastered with cock-juice. Then she suddenly squeezed her eyes shut.
Ah. Fuck. Did she notice?
Well — my underwear was coated in the stuff and the night-flower scent was everywhere. If she hadn't noticed, she'd have to be blind.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll accept any punishment."
What the hell was this nonsense now.
In this world, if a man got so worked up looking at a woman that he came, did the woman get punished? Or was this some "please train me" thing? Was she into that kind of play?
Nah. No way. She wasn't some elf who liked getting dominated. Not looking that pretty. Though, wait — those elf girls were always written as pretty, too, weren't they.
Ah, whatever. This was mortifying enough. Play dumb.
Fuck. Stay calm and get through this situation. I needed to send her off and take a shower. This was disgustingly sticky.
Just pull one little stunt to paper over this awkwardness.
I smiled as brightly as I could and held out my card.
"Carrier discount is ten percent, right?"
"Y… yes?"
She looked flustered.
Ah, fuck — maybe the stunt was a bad idea. Now it was even more awkward. Of course it was. Some idiot who'd just pissed cock-juice into his own underwear was being petty enough to ask for a card discount on top of it.
Should I say I was joking? No — that would be even weirder given the mood.
I quickly put the card away. Ugh. So gross. I wanted a shower so badly.
I hurriedly pulled out twenty thousand won. Settle it with cash for now.
"Ah. Guess that doesn't work in this world. Here — twenty thousand won. Keep the change."
Cool enough not to take the change. A full eight hundred won of it, no less. She wouldn't think I was petty now, right?
Was that enough? It should be enough, right?
No — I still needed to apologize for the cock-juice. How shocked must she have been. A woman that pretty.
"Ah, that dirty smell… sorry for making you smell it. Take care."
Fuck, that should cover it. I couldn't exactly call it cock-juice smell to her face. That would be too humiliating.
Goodbye, my ideal type… God, what a waste.
I'd never meet a perfect ideal type like her again in my life. Because of this broken unicorn of a massive cock, I was letting the greatest ideal type of my entire existence walk away.
Ah, fuck. I genuinely wanted to die.
The pizza girl was still standing there with dazed eyes, not leaving. Yeah — the shock must've been huge.
But pizza girl… you really are so pretty. Hooo…
So I put my whole heart into one last line.
"You're way too pretty to be delivering pizza."
She was pretty in a way that genuinely made no sense…
No reaction at all. Like she'd frozen solid right where she stood.
Well. If I were a woman and ran into some lunatic dripping cock-juice all over his underwear, I'd lose my mind too.
I slowly closed the door, my heart full of regret.
—Creeeak.
The more my ultimate ideal type's face disappeared from view, the more it ached. That axe-mark had been so small — she looked young, probably a virgin…
What a fucking waste.
Haaah…
Forget it. Just forget it.
In the entryway thick with regret, only the scent of night flowers remained.