The Pure-Acting Slutty Taxi Driver
"Hey, Slick, what the hell are you thinking so hard about?"
I'd been lost in filthy fantasies staring at the taxi driver's stockings when her voice snapped me right out of it.
"Private Yu Sihyun! I'll correct myself!"
"Correct yourself, my ass. This isn't the military, you know."
"Ah, come on, Manager Dongcheol. Stop calling me Slick. Every time you do, I slip right back into military talk."
"What a pain in the ass. You're Slick, so I call you Slick. What else am I supposed to call you? You were already a slippery little bastard, and now with that face you look like some pretty-boy gigolo—slick, slick, slick."
Guess my pretty-boy face was making him jealous.
"Manager, please. You're just jealous because I'm popular with the women, right?"
"What? You little shit! You think I'm that petty? Get lost."
"Aww, Manager's sulking. Earlier the police chief offered to introduce his daughter to me and Assistant Manager Seonghyeon—everyone except you—and that's why you're mad, isn't it? Right?"
"I said no, damn it. This kid keeps..."
Oh. Manager Dongcheol's voice trailed off into a mumble.
Did I actually hurt his feelings?
"I'm just kidding. Manager, aside from the big head and the thinning hair, you've got a manly look. If you wait, someone'll show up eventually."
"Kid, I swear. I don't even know if I'll get to date a woman once before I die. Being ugly isn't a crime, for fuck's sake."
The taxi driver, who'd been quietly listening to us, glanced back over her shoulder.
"You look pretty cute, though..."
Her voice was soft.
Manager Dongcheol asked again.
"Huh?"
"No, I mean... you look plenty cute yourself."
The taxi driver's face flushed shyly.
Manager Dongcheol's mouth dropped open like Doraemon's.
"M-me?"
"Yes..."
No way. A taxi driver this pretty actually liked Manager Dongcheol?
"Specifically which parts?"
"Well... most guys these days are soft, but you have real charisma, and your voice is so hearty. That big head of yours even looks like a general's..."
Manager Dongcheol's mouth moved before his brain could catch up.
"Let's get married."
"Huh? M-married?"
Ah, for real, Manager!
Even the fish you barely reeled in is going to swim away at this rate.
But surprisingly, the taxi driver didn't seem all that put off.
"Still, we should meet first, right? Check our sexual compatibility too... Ah, don't get the wrong idea. I definitely didn't say I wanted to meet just so I could sleep with you. I'm not the kind of girl who only likes one-night stands. Really, I'm not that kind of girl."
The taxi driver twisted her long, shapely legs together.
No matter how I looked at it, she was clearly horny as hell.
"Let's do it! Let's check that compatibility. Tonight—right now!"
Manager Dongcheol was on fire.
"Ah, I'm really not that kind of girl. Oh my, we're already at Yangjae."
Assistant Manager Seonghyeon spoke with a completely blank face.
"Turn right up there. Geumma Apartment, Building A."
"Ah, yes... Um, the gentleman with the big head—if you have a contact number..."
"Here!"
Manager Dongcheol handed over his business card instantly.
"Okay..."
The taxi driver took the card with one hand and set it on the coin tray.
Screech!
We arrived at Eunma Apartment.
But then—
A tall, model-like, sexy woman was staring at the taxi.
The moment she spotted Assistant Manager Seonghyeon, she came running over in tears.
"Honey!!! I was wrong! Please don't run away! Please! Hic..."
Jesus Christ!
That model was Assistant Manager Seonghyeon's wife?
She was about 182 cm tall.
Her eyes sparkled like they'd been set with emeralds.
Her features were Western and striking.
If she didn't speak Korean, she could easily pass for a Spanish magazine model.
Her lightly tanned copper skin only added to the sex appeal.
Her dress left nothing to the imagination, her full breasts bouncing with every step.
At least a C-cup.
Yet her waist was tiny and her stomach completely flat.
A body sculpted hard by exercise.
It was almost impossible to believe she was a married woman with a kid.
Suddenly I was jealous of Seonghyeon.
With a wife like that, I'd be fine getting fucked all day long.
No—I'd want to get fucked!
Manager Dongcheol seemed to be thinking the same thing; sparks were flying from his eyes.
But then—
Bzzzt!
Manager Dongcheol's phone buzzed.
A message.
After reading it, honey practically dripped from his eyes.
Fuck!
What the hell?
"Honey, why are you out here so late? It's dangerous."
The Spanish-model-level woman wrapped Seonghyeon in a tight hug.
More accurately, Seonghyeon was nestled into her arms.
Like a baby.
"Baby. I'm so sorry. Really. Lately you've been saying you're tired and avoiding sex, and I guess my lust just built up too much. Sob. Baby, don't leave me. I'll do anything. If you want me to lick it, I'll lick it. If you want me to suck it, I'll suck it. I'll wear a maid outfit every day, a police uniform too—whatever makes you happy. You know I love you. There's only you. If you leave me, I'll really die. How am I supposed to live alone in a world without your cock?"
Seonghyeon let out a long sigh.
"Honey, then... stop forcing sex on me all the time. I understand you, but I have my own life too. Work is exhausting enough as it is."
"I get it, baby. I won't do it again. I'm sorry. There, there... And you don't even need to keep working at that company. I can just talk to Dad and create a director position for you at our company. Why do you keep insisting on working?"
What—what the hell!
So Assistant Manager Seonghyeon was a guy with a diamond-spoon wife?
"Honey. Honey, your father's company is your father's. I hate parachute appointments. We've had this conversation how many times already? Let's drop it. Tonight you're really not touching me. I'm tired."
"Baby, okay. Don't be mad, okay? I thought you were angry so I bought you a Cartier watch. Try it on when we get home, okay? And... just once tonight? Really just once. Baby~ please!"
"Ah, fine. We'll talk at home. My coworkers are waiting in the car. I'll just say hello and come right back."
"Okay. Baby. Love you~"
Seonghyeon trudged back over.
"Aigoo. Living in this world is hard. When she acts cute like that, I have no choice but to forgive her."
Fuck!
Falling into this world, the real winner of the lottery wasn't me—it was Seonghyeon.
"Seonghyeon, when you woke up this morning, did Jaesu suddenly grow tall and pretty like a model, and did her family suddenly get rich too?"
Seonghyeon scratched his head.
"No. My wife always looked like that. She used to be about 175, so she's a bit taller now. Family's the same. Other than me getting shorter, not much has changed? Haah. How am I supposed to live with these short legs. Living is hard, right, Dongcheol hyung?"
"You little bastard! You wanna die? Huh! You fucker! Hey! Bring back every last won that Sihyun and I deposited into your account yesterday. You thug son-in-law of a chaebol family with a model wife! Have you ever seen a thug like this?!"
Manager Dongcheol grabbed Seonghyeon by the throat and started choking him.
"Ah, ow ow. Hyung, that hurts. Ah, I can't breathe. Breathe! Sihyun, stop Dongcheol hyung!"
I let out a deep sigh and said,
"Assistant Manager Seonghyeon."
"Huh?? Huh? Ke...khek"
"If you've been living the good life all by yourself this whole time, it's about time you quit, don't you think? Chaebol son-in-law thug hyung with a model wife."
Wow, but Seonghyeon wasn't some upright Joseon-era scholar either.
His wife was a chaebol daughter and he still refused a director position because he hated parachute appointments?
And he stuck it out for three years working with those crazy bitches?
I had to give him credit for that mental fortitude alone.
Once Seonghyeon went inside with his wife, only the taxi driver, me, and Manager Dongcheol were left.
"Hey, Slick, switch seats with me."
"Yes."
Why all of a sudden?
Manager Dongcheol sat down next to the taxi driver.
"I read the message you sent. From now on, can I really call you baby?"
Ah, what the hell.
So that message that made honey drip from his eyes earlier...
Was from the taxi driver?
"Why even ask something like that, baby. Aing >..<"
Fuck.
Whatever conversation they'd been having over messages...
The atmosphere was already like a couple who'd been dating for a year.
"Then from now on I'm calling you baby too. Baby!"
Even his balding head had turned bright red.
Ah, fuck, seriously. This is so damn annoying I can't even watch.
"Baby. But... is yours really that big? Honestly, this is my first time having sex with a man. It won't hurt, right?"
What? They'd already decided to go to a motel?
"You just trust me, baby. I'll lead so it doesn't hurt."
"Really? I trust only you. Aing. Baby, my muscles are all knotted from driving—can you massage my chest a little?"
Wow! Fuck.
She looked so pure and innocent, but the words coming out of her mouth were pure porn?
Manager Dongcheol's heart was pounding as he reached for the taxi driver's chest.
"L-like this?"
"Aaang. Baby. A little softer, and rotate my nipple clockwise. Aaaang."
Excuse me. There's a person in the back seat, you know?
Ahem, ahem!
I deliberately cleared my throat.
"Hey, Sihyun. This is near your neighborhood, right? Why don't you get out and walk the rest of the way?"
It was phrased like a request, but it was basically an order.
Honestly, I got the message loud and clear.
"Ah, yes. Yes. The Slick with no wife and no baby will take his leave. Manager, you cover the taxi fare. Ah, seriously, on a Saturday night, a guy with no girlfriend should just go home, watch porn, and jerk off. Yeah, yeah, let me out here."
Screech~!
The taxi stopped.
And the taxi driver looked at me seductively and muttered to herself,
"Aing, having my first time as a threesome wouldn't be so bad either."
Huk.
No matter how I looked at it...
This taxi driver was ridiculously horny.
First time, my ass.
Of course, with looks like hers, a threesome wouldn't be bad.
But I'd have to look at Manager Dongcheol's dick too.
I'll pass on that.
And Manager Dongcheol's eyes were burning with murderous hatred.
Yeah, threesome my ass.
I'll just go home, watch porn, and jerk off.
I got out of the taxi and sprinted home.
Fuuuuck!!!
I'm the only one without a woman on Saturday night!
I'm not some pure unicorn symbol of virginity.
This is a gender-reversed world where men with dicks are kings.
I'm a pretty boy with a massive cock.
It's a golden Saturday night.
And I have to go home and jerk off to porn.
Ah, seriously, this pisses me off!!