Chapter 50
Translator - Zofu
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Who is this blonde girl?
-Dan-da-da-dan~ Dan-da-da-dan!
“Hello?”
Sure enough, Hyun-joon answers the phone in that girly voice of his.
No matter how many times I hear it, Hyun-joon’s voice feels alien because it’s so different from the original Hyun-joon’s voice I knew.
But now it’s even thinner and more feminine than just a few hours ago.
If I’d called without knowing, I would’ve been one hundred percent sure a girl had answered.
“Hey, Hyun-joon. What’s up?”
I played dumb with Hyun-joon.
Better not to ask about his mom or sister first and stir up trouble for no reason.
“Fuck. Yo! Why are you calling now? Where are you?”
“Huh? Me? At a convenience store near my house.”
“Yo! Are you seriously eating at a convenience store right now!”
“What’s wrong with you, you little shit. What’s the matter? Huh?”
“Fuck. Yo. I’m coming right now. Send me your location via Kakaotalk.”
-Click.
That bastard Hyun-joon is in such a hurry, saying he’s coming right over, and hangs up.
I have a bad feeling.
I must’ve gotten caught fucking Hyun-joon’s mom.
Not to mention, it hasn’t been long since I had sex with Yuri-noona.
Yuri-noona had a weakness against me she couldn’t overcome.
Since I had a sex video of me taking her virginity and her anal, she couldn’t just go around telling people.
While I was lost in thought like that, I heard Yubi’s cute voice.
“Si-won. Who were you talking to? It sounded like a girl?”
Yubi asked cautiously.
“Huh? Um... No. It’s a guy. A guy. Hyun-joon. We went to Ssamsong High School together. You don’t know him?”
“Hyun-joon? Hmm. I don’t think I know a Hyun-joon. I only remember people I’m interested in.”
Only people you’re interested in?
Does that mean you’ve been interested in me since high school?
That made me feel good for no reason.
Yubi also blushed for some reason, smiling and muttering to herself.
“Right... It’s a guy. A guy. Thank goodness.”
I poured hot water over the Yeomra-Daewang Ramen again and waited for the noodles to cook.
And exactly 3 minutes later!
I slurped up the Yeomra-Daewang Ramen!
Since I already knew the taste this time, I thought it might be less spicy than before...
My ass. It’s not less spicy.
Just one bite and my insides are burning.
Fuck...
Why the fuck did I eat this?
Regret washed over me the moment I took that first bite.
They say humans are animals of forgetfulness. I thought I was going to die the first time I ate it too.
And yet I forgot and I was eating this fucking Yeomra-Daewang Ramen again.
It felt like my stomach was cursing me out, saying I wasn't human for shoving this crap in again.
I mean, after drinking and puking my guts out, I swore I'd never drink again,
and a week later, I was drinking again! The animal of forgetfulness!
That’s exactly who I am!
Ugh...
I hurriedly opened a mint chocolate drink and chugged it.
-Glug glug!
Ahh...
But after drinking the mint chocolate, I felt like I might survive.
But my mouth was still tingling.
It was a shitty combination, but I ripped open the Premium Jin Cream Cheese Castella Injeolmi and popped one in my mouth, chewing away.
Huh? What the...
What is this!
Moist and chewy.
And it instantly neutralized the spiciness while harmonizing with it so there was no weird aftertaste!
It was fucking delicious.
I’m sorry.
Premium Jin Cream Cheese Castella Injeolmi.
How dare this crude commoner judge you by name alone without even tasting you, thinking you were just “Premium Jin Cream Cheese Castella Injeolmi.”
Mmm...
So damn good.
No wonder there were only four pieces for 5,000 won.
I was moved.
And before I knew it, I was shoving Yeomra-Daewang Ramen down my throat again.
As expected, humans are animals of forgetfulness.
They forget so quickly.
This time, the pain was definitely less than the first time.
Slurp!
Chug chug!
Chew chew!
Spiciness. Neutralized. Sweet and soft!
The three elements were perfectly in sync.
As I was savoring this fucking delicious holy trinity of a combo...
-Ding-a-ling!
A cute-as-fuck girl with blonde hair and blue eyes—my ideal type, if you will—opened the convenience store door and walked in.
Wow! Jackpot.
She was so beautiful, she looked like she had stepped right out of a manga.
Is she a celebrity?
But then that girl walked straight up to me and, to my surprise, called my name.
“Yo! Si-won!”
* * *
About 160cm tall.
Petite build, skin as white as a British mixed-race person.
Eyes were a subtle blue that sparkled like blue diamonds.
Lips were cute and, in contrast to her transparently white face, sparkled red like rubies.
And on top of that, she had long blonde hair with cute curls.
And most of all.
Even though she was a cute girl who looked like she had stepped out of a manga,
her tits were fucking huge.
She was wearing a black Adidas tracksuit, and with every step she took toward me, they jiggled.
*Gulp...*
Who is this cute-as-fuck girl, my ideal type?
Hyun-joon’s mom.
Yuri-noona.
Se-kyung.
Yubi.
The blonde delinquent PC bang part-timer.
They were all pretty,
but if we were talking looks alone, this blue-eyed blonde girl standing before me was top-tier.
An appearance that couldn’t exist in the real world.
The perfect ideal-type girl.
But how does this girl know a shabby guy like me?
I scanned the blonde girl from bottom to top, swallowing hard as I stared.
Then the blonde girl strode up toughly and plopped down in front of me.
She looked fucking classy and elegant, but her personality seemed surprisingly tough.
Flustered, I looked at the blonde girl and said,
“Um, excuse me........ who are you?”
But the manga-heroine blonde girl didn’t even listen to me, sighing and cursing.
“Fuck..... I’m so fucked. Really. What am I supposed to do now. Yo, got any booze? Booze?”
The blonde girl was being way too familiar and tough with me.
Could she be confusing me with someone who looks like me?
Well, whatever the case, such a pretty girl was looking for booze, so I must provide.
We can talk after that.
This is the perfect chance to get with my ideal type.
“Huh? Booze? What kind of booze...”
“Goddamn. This fucker. Why are you being like this too? The usual stuff we drink every day.”
But man, your speech was way too tough.
You cursed at the end of every sentence.
But the more I look at you, the prettier you are.
I can’t believe a girl this pretty exists in reality.
So she seemed like a crazy woman with a slightly weird head, but I'd listen to her for now.
What kind of booze would this unrealistically pretty crazy girl like?
I grabbed a Hite beer and a bottle of soju and brought them over to Yubi.
Yubi looked at the woman sitting in front of me with fiery eyes and said,
“Si-won. Who is that girl? Is she someone you know?”
She seemed like she’d kick her out immediately if I said I didn’t know her.
She’s my ideal manga-heroine, can’t have that.
I vaguely brushed it off.
“Huh? Um....... She’s just a friend. A friend. Hahaha.”
“Really? Just a friend? Not your girlfriend?”
“Yeah. A friend I haven’t seen in a while.”
Without realizing it, I felt pressured by Yubi’s sharp gaze and I was lying.
Why is she being so wary?
-Beep! Beep!
Yubi scanned the barcode irritably and looked at the woman sitting at my seat with a stiff, hardened face.
Well, they say a woman’s worst enemy is another woman.
I also felt shitty when I saw guys better-looking and more built than me.
Women are probably the same.
I took the beer and soju and went back to sit down.
The unrealistically pretty girl let out a sigh~
She skillfully opened the soju and started chugging from the bottle.
What the—what!
Is she really a crazy girl?
“Yo. What am I supposed to do now? Fuck........ Am I supposed to live like this?”
“What?”
Supposed to live like this?
If you’re as pretty as you are, even in a world where the ratio of women to men is 10 to 1, you could easily live comfortably off your looks alone.
No matter how many women there are.
A girl with such unrealistically cute, one-in-a-million looks like the one in front of me right now is rare.
The girl who was chugging soju suddenly leaned her face on my shoulder.
“Fuuuuck!!!! Fuck this whole world. Sniffle.”
It seemed like something pretty shocking had happened...
Without realizing it, mesmerized by the girl’s pretty face, I wrapped my arms around her back and patted her.
“W-well, no matter how tough the world is, you can overcome it all. Cheer up.......”
But then I felt her breasts press firmly against me.
F-fuck.
This girl wasn’t even wearing a bra.
That soft, springy feeling was incredible.
Mmm...
My dick was trying to take over my brain.
But then...
As this girl sobbed in my arms,
“Fuck. Si-won. From now on, I’m not Hyun-joon, they say I’m Yuna. Hong Yuna.. sob sob.”
What?
What did you say!!!!!!
My suddenly erect dick instantly went flaccid.
N-no way!
The cute-as-fuck manga-heroine crying in my arms right now was my best friend Hyun-joon!!!!!!!
* * *
C-calm down. Calm.
I peeled Hong Hyun-joon—
no, Hong Yuna from my arms.
And I looked at Hyun-joon’s face—
N-no!
I looked at Hong Yuna’s face.
Big blue eyes
A perky, cute nose
Cherry-red lips
with blonde hair sparkling and shining—
clearly someone who should only exist in movies or manga,
a doll-like appearance.
My heart started pounding again.
Fuck.
There was no way this girl was Hyun-joon.
It must have been a prank.
I looked around and said,
“Yo! Hyun-joon. I know you’re hiding. Come out now, you bastard! And who is this girl! Stop playing around. Seriously. I’m getting pissed!”
But Hyun-joon didn’t answer.
And the manga-heroine girl who had been staring blankly at me let out a sigh,,,,, and said.
“Yo! You. What’s wrong with you. You little shit. You’re embarrassing me. I’m already going crazy from this TS disease.”
TS?
TS disease?
Then this girl really was Hyun-joon, my best friend until just a little while ago?