I'm Not a Psycho, Dammit

Pitch-black darkness.

I was lying somewhere again.

First things first, I needed to get u— huh?

"......?"

Something was clamped tight around my arms and legs. I was stuck on my back, completely unable to move. Fear hit me in a lurch, and my chest cinched down like a fist. Where the hell was this? Why was I tied down? What time was it? Every sense I had was slowly drowning in the dark.

The last splinters of memory.

Me, searching for information in the captain's quarters.

Me, reading Elia's diary.

That voice. I'd heard it just a little while ago. Come to think of it...

I'd been standing in front of a shattered mirror, thinking about something.

And I was pretty sure I'd been angry at that something.

Something black. Something stuck to my chest.

"...A parasite."

Even when I tried to peel it off, it clung back onto me, grotesque and stubborn—

—Wait. Think positive.

Past-life me was the king of looking on the bright side!

"—Well. Not the worst arrangement."

I let that shitty junior of mine slide, too. This is nothing. What are you even saying?

Yeah, sure, let's do the symbiotic thing. No. Hand it all over.

I will not think about myself.

If I don't think, we can negotiate, right?

Anyway, where was this?

Just think about that. Nothing else.

I was definitely...

"Big sis! Look out!"

A voice from the past started playing inside my skull.

I'd attacked people I could only assume were on my side. Indiscriminately. For no reason at all — just following instinct wherever it pointed.

"Gah, Lia-lia! This is going too far even for you!"

"The Captain appears to be unconscious!"

"Damn it, I know! What the hell kind of monster is this?!"

Right. And then they put me down.

You're asking if I did that?

Ha. Absolutely not.

Either way, we are pretty thoroughly fucked.

"Sorry, Lia-lia."

"I'm... really sorry."

A tanned delinquent of an elf put a perfect shot into me, and I blacked out.

Restrained arms and legs. And now, this place.

A military prison? The brig? Or a psych ward?

Fuck off.

Guess an honorable discharge is out of the question.

How exactly am I supposed to trust you enough to hand anything over?

Leave it like this and things are only going to get more fucked.

"You trash traitor bitch. Where the hell did you even get that?"

Another voice slid out of the dark without warning. Instinct whispered that this one was dangerous. My heart — no, Elia's heart — was so seized with terror it felt ready to punch straight out of my ribs. I looked around wildly. Nothing. I couldn't see a thing.

"Still nothing to say today? Fine. How long do you think you ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠can last?"

"Shall we punch holes through ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠that whole body of yours tonight? All night long?"

"There's no place in this universe for a monster like you to settle."

"So how many did you kill in Sector 09? Three hundred sixty-two, was it?"

"You monstrous bitch. You should've just died."

I don't want to hear this.

And who are you supposed to be?

I am not Elia.

"Time for another delightful round of surgery, First Lieutenant Elia."

A nasty little laugh crawled into my ear. I hate this.

Don't freak out. It's just a voice. I hate this.

And surgery? What surgery? Are you kidding me? I hate this.

Don't you dare play with my body. I hate this.

"I'll make you a life where dying would have been the kinder option. Heh-heh."

An ominous resonance.

I wanted to stay calm. My heart had other plans. It hammered faster, and as my breathing went ragged, ordinary thought became impossible.

I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠— no, Elia — knew the person behind that voice.

"R-right. I need to get out of here first."

It was happening again. It was the dark. This pitch-black dark was scrambling my senses, making me hear all this fucked-up shit. A massive metal apparatus clamped around my arm resolved into a faint outline. I threw my strength into pulling free. It didn't budge. I twisted. I thrashed. Nothing worked.

"—Captain Elia is—"

Then a heavy clank rang out, and light flooded in from every direction.

I sucked in a startled breath and squeezed my eyes shut. They hadn't adjusted; the sudden brightness was agony.

"—sir! I distinctly ordered the lights to come on sequen— as instructed, didn't I—?"

"—pologies. The settings were configured wron—"

Voices.

Confusion. Fear.

A murmur of people echoed against my eardrums.

"Call Operations Officer Erica."

"—yes, Commodore—."

"And release the restrai—"

My vision was a smear, like a camera lens hunting for focus. The owners of those voices were nothing but ghost-blurred afterimages at first, then slowly, grudgingly, they began to take shape. They had gathered around the table I was lying on, looking down at me.

"Those eyes of yours... you won't be needing them, will you?"

My eye? Why my one remaining eye? I couldn't get a proper breath. I clutched at my chest. My throat had narrowed to a drinking straw. Why were they doing this to me? They were going to take even ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the one eye I had left? What did I do that was so wrong? What the hell did I ever do to you people? I'm not Elia, I'm telling you I'm not, you sons of bitches.

"—lia, Cap—?!"

"Hurry and prepare the—! What are you standing around—!"

"Her condi— is unstable—!"

No. Not my eye.

I have to keep my promise to Eve.

"What, starting to get scared? Afraid you won't be able to keep that promise?"

Get away from me. Get the hell away.

"El—a, Captain! Are you alr—?"

Someone came up beside me and spoke.

But I couldn't see them. I couldn't see anything.

Was the voice I'd been hearing this whole time the real one?

Or was the voice I was hearing now the real one?

Who was real, and who was fake?

"El—a, Captain? Can you hear me right n—?"

"Shall we start by plucking out the left one, First Lieutenant Elia?"

I clawed through the fog of memory, straining to find the source of that nauseating voice. And in that instant, a grand symphony rose from somewhere. Like a single firefly surfacing from the abyss, the melody found its place in my memory and began to swell, brighter and brighter.

"I can never resist music at a moment like this. And the name of this one is Fate! That you and I should meet — it can only have been fate! I have never been so delighted in all my life!"

Terror came rolling in on the broken shards of memory. A mad scientist began to dance in time with the music. He came toward me with a red-hot iron rod in his hand.

"Real or fake, get away from me, get the hell away, all of you get away from me!"

"—lia, Captain!"

Whether I screamed or not, the music climbed toward its climax.

"Weep for me in your happiest voice, First Lieutenant Elia! Dun-dun-dun-duuun, dun-dun-dun~"

"—?! Medical team! Right now—!"

"What are you doing, hurry and—!"

Bile surged up my throat and I vomited.

"An eyeball like a ruby! Once I pluck it out, I'll use it as a decoration, won't I?!"

I startled so hard I rolled straight off the operating table. Something shattered as I went down — glass, from the sound of it. The smell of chemicals drifted in from somewhere, along with the acrid stink of searing flesh. The nauseating reek of rotten blood grew sharper by the second. I had to run. That repulsive voice in my memory was screaming that this place was dangerous. They were going to take me apart while I was still alive.

"Ah, aaah— aaaaaaah!"

I could hear my own scream.

I could hear that man's laughter right along with it.

The metallic ring of the iron rod whispered past my ear.

"El—a, Cap—! Snap out of—!"

Some blurry red shape seized both my shoulders.

I shoved it off hard and scrambled my legs into motion.

"Commodore—!"

"I—I'm fine. Stop her—!"

The music swelled past any hope of control.

"Where do you think you're going? There's still this much left to enjoy, First Lieutenant Elia!"

I wrenched open the nearest door. A corridor. I ran it, and a metal plate fixed to the corridor's stark white wall came into view. In that same instant, red warning lights began to strobe down the entire length of the hall.

"Heh-heh. Heh-heh-heh-heh. Scream all you want — nobody's coming. Now then. Give it up and come on back here."

I was looking at it with both eyes and still couldn't believe it. The word operating room burned itself into my brain. The raving scientist's voice had been the real one. I clapped both hands over my ears and tore up the stairs like a madwoman, heading for the surface.

An automated alert blared on a loop through the entire welfare deck.

"?"

Was this a drill?

Erica was sitting at a cafe table in the crew welfare sector with First Lieutenant Kori, who had tagged along. She winced as the sudden alarm and the looping automated broadcast left her ears ringing.

"Wha—?! We got a shipboard combat drill today or somethin'?"

In the gaps where the alarm hiccuped and caught its breath, a squad of shipboard defense troops came pounding through the center of the lobby, the clack of weapons being charged carrying with them.

"Well... certainly looks that way."

"Anyway, this coffee is seriously good, though!"

First Lieutenant Kori, who had followed her here, was absorbed in her coffee as if the alarm could go hang. She seemed to like it a great deal; her fox tail was swishing rapidly from side to side. Well — the quality was definitely a step above the Obelisk's cafe.

"Anyway, why did you suddenly decide to tag along?"

"Me? I was just so worried about the Captain—"

"—You were?"

Erica cut the lie off at the knees. Who was worried about whom, exactly? The story of Elia tearing a chunk out of Kori's shoulder was famous. A deer fussing over a wounded tiger. Please.

"Haha—! Truth is, I'm the least busy person on the whole ship! If I can help, of course I oughta help! I've never been aboard anything but the Obelisk, country bumpkin that I am, so I figured I'd look around while I was at it~"

Pretty words. What she meant was she'd come to tour the Valkyrie. Erica huffed a quiet laugh and stood. Karina had promised to call the moment Elia woke, but Erica couldn't wait. She needed to see that arrogant, haughty face of hers right now, or she wasn't going to be able to rest.

"You finished?"

"Yes ma'am!"

"Then let's head over to where Elia is and wait."