Chapter 403: Court
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 403: Court
To cut to the chase, I got caught.
The fact that I-seo, who had just returned from dropping off the bicycle, flew straight at me in a beeline was explanation enough.
When I asked how she found out, she said she’d heard from the others that I’d posted something on the Bamboo Forest and went to check for herself.
“And when you looked, there our story was, immortalized for the whole world to see?”
“It’s so embarrassing. I feel like I’m going to die of shame.”
Choi I-seo covered her face with her hands, looking utterly depressed as she claimed she couldn't go on living.
Yoo Ah-rin let out a sigh and offered her own brand of consolation, asking why she was making such a big deal out of it.
“Hey, you’ve been through way more embarrassing stuff than this. Why are you acting like this over something so small?”
“Is that supposed to be comforting?”
“And the important thing is that they didn't actually see you guys. Your faces aren't out there, right?”
“Sigh.”
“Besides, didn't you already expect to be doing it all day when you decided to go on a trip alone with Kim Woo-jin?”
Choi I-seo kept her mouth shut, seemingly having no rebuttal for that point.
‘If I just go with the flow here, can I get a verdict of not guilty?’
Since Yoo Ah-rin was surprisingly taking my side, I immediately raised my hand and shouted.
“That’s right, Your Honor! My only crime was loving Choi I-seo too much!”
“Guilty, you bastard.”
“Why?!”
“You dare say that crap in front of me?”
Yoo Ah-rin glared at me with her arms crossed. It seemed that vocalizing my aggressive love for Choi I-seo was the deciding factor for the guilty verdict.
“Wait, wait! Objection!”
Seo Ye-rin jumped in, clearly finding this fun. She flashed a bright smile and thrust her hand forward in a pose straight out of a famous lawyer game.
“Woo-jini simply couldn't contain his overflowing lust! And Choi I-seo, knowing full well what he’s like, still went on a trip with him, and now she’s blaming Woo-jini?!”
Seo Ye-rin leaned down to slam her hand onto the folding table.
Thud!
“Isn't this a result of Choi I-seo’s own negligence?! If she’s such a lightweight, she shouldn't have gone on a trip with him!”
“A-A lightweight…?”
Defense Attorney Seo Ye-rin was making some very valid points.
“No, wait, what is even happening right now? Am I the only one not following?”
“Uh-huh, silence! The defendant will remain silent!”
“Ah-rin, the defendant is the person being sued. According to the flow of your game, I’d be the plaintiff.”
“Ahem. Plaintiff, shut your mouth.”
Look at the foul mouth on this judge.
She dismissed the plaintiff’s correction in an instant.
Not stopping there, Seo Ye-rin shouted even louder.
“In the first place, she’s the one who led the trip, so why can't she handle that much?! If it were me, I would have covered my mouth and held back my moans no matter what! Your Honor! May I perform a demonstration right here and now?!”
“Shut up and stop talking nonsense.”
“Yes, ma'am!”
If Yoo Ah-rin had given her permission just now, would I have really ended up doing it with Seo Ye-rin right here?
I immediately turned to Yoo Ah-rin with the most aggrieved expression I could muster.
“I just did what I always do. How is that my fault? We did it by mutual consent in the first place, so it makes me very sad to have it dismissed as simply my fault.”
“Mhm, mhm.”
“Wow.”
Choi I-seo let out a gasp of disbelief.
She pointed a finger at me, asking how I could be so shameless.
“Uh-huh! Plaintiff! Are you pointing your finger at my client?!”
Seo Ye-rin immediately jumped to my defense.
Surprisingly, Seo Ye-rin was quite reliable.
“No, I mean—”
“You mean? This is a sacred courtroom. If you don't want to die, use honorifics.”
“…The judge has a foul mouth herself, though?”
“Shut up. In here, I am the law.”
Yoo Ah-rin swung her fist like a gavel.
Just as Choi I-seo was about to vent her frustrations again—
Creeak.
The door opened, and three people walked in.
“Hey, I heard Kim Woo-jin was back.”
Oh Yun-ji, with her hat pulled down low.
“Don't you think my face looks bloated?”
Choi Jin-ah, whose face was slightly puffy, likely from something she ate yesterday.
“Jin-ah, you’re still exercising, right?”
And even Senior Ju-hee, hiding her face behind a mask.
‘Isn't this the men’s dormitory?’
While I was wondering if I was going to get kicked out, Yoo Ah-rin gestured toward the three newcomers with her chin.
“Jurors, go sit over there. Don't stand where I can see you and ruin my mood.”
“What is this? A communist show trial?”
“Even a tyrant wouldn't act like that.”
As Seo Ye-rin and I whispered to each other, Yoo Ah-rin immediately glared at us.
She really gets into the mood of these things.
“What’s going on? What happened?”
“I can eat these snacks, right?”
“Let’s just listen to the Madam.”
What the…
The way they moved in perfect unison was strangely familiar.
I especially couldn't just brush off what Senior Ju-hee said at the end.
Anyway.
The mock trial now had a full jury.
‘I didn't expect this to go on for so long.’
I thought it would end quickly, but somehow the scale had escalated.
“Anyway, Plaintiff, you’re the one who brought this suit, but you realize you’re the one in a crisis right now, don't you?”
“I never brought a suit.”
“I? The Plaintiff has a good head on her shoulders but no sense of the room, I see.”
As Yoo Ah-rin grinned while swinging her fists, Choi I-seo let out a deep sigh and finally decided to play along.
“In the first place, I never filed a lawsuit. And even if I did, this is one hundred percent that jerk’s fault.”
“Plaintiiiiff! Don't call our Woo-jini ‘that jerk’! He’s in a state of mental and physical exhaustion!”
With that, Seo Ye-rin marched over to the fridge and grabbed a can of beer.
“Woo-jin, drink this. For now, just insist you were drunk and don't remember anything. They usually give lighter sentences for that.”
“…Does your agency teach you stuff like that?”
Crunch, crunch.
“But what exactly is the situation?”
The three of them sat huddled together on the bed, eating snacks and watching us.
Yoo Ah-rin started to explain, then got lazy and barked an order at Seo Ye-rin.
“Hey, go explain it to them.”
Calling the lawyer ‘hey.’
Can a judge really do that?
As Seo Ye-rin showed them the post on the Bamboo Forest and gave a brief explanation, Oh Yun-ji burst out laughing.
“Choi I-seo, you idiot! Hey, Choi I-seo is guilty! She’s the one who made the noise! You couldn't hold it in?!”
“No, I mean… Sigh.”
Choi I-seo thumped her chest in frustration.
The other two gave more ambiguous reactions.
“Holding back your voice is… a bit difficult.”
“I-I’m going to go with ‘no comment.’”
Senior Ju-hee muttered awkwardly, while Choi Jin-ah’s face turned beet red as she remained silent.
At any rate, it seemed the jury was on my side.
While Seo Ye-rin was explaining things to the jury, Yoo Ah-rin called me over.
“Defendant, do you have a bribe for me?”
“What is wrong with this girl?”
“This girl? Do you want to die? Is the judge a joke to you?”
“As the judge, are you really demanding a bribe so openly? The plaintiff is watching right there with her eyes wide open.”
Choi I-seo was indeed glaring at us with fire in her eyes.
I had a feeling that regardless of the verdict, I was going to get beaten up once the trial was over.
“Ahem. No, I’m asking if you have a bribe.”
“What kind of bribe—”
I was about to ask what she was talking about out of sheer disbelief when I noticed Yoo Ah-rin’s head was slightly turned away.
‘Aha.’
Of course.
She was feeling a bit lonely because I’d been away playing with Choi I-seo.
I leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, and the corners of Yoo Ah-rin’s mouth slowly curled upward.
“Ahem. Well, I think I’ve got the gist of it. Some decisive evidence just came in.”
Satisfied, Yoo Ah-rin nodded vigorously.
‘She really is cute.’
As I returned to my seat with a smile, the lawyer and the jury were staring at me intently.
“…What are you looking at?”
The best defense is a good offense.
I tried throwing out an insult first, but it didn't seem to have much effect.
“Woo-jin, if we win, I’m taking a legal fee.”
I never even hired you.
“Shouldn't he be arrested for something like public indecency?”
It doesn't matter; the judge decides everything.
“U-Ugh.”
This one has been eating so much she’s turned into a piggy and forgotten human speech.
“…A bodyguard sometimes needs to look the other way.”
Senior Ju-hee had already adopted the mindset of a bodyguard.
It seemed she had some sort of connection with Yoo Ah-rin’s side.
“Now, I will deliver the verdict. Kim Woo-jin is not guil—!”
“Wait, wait! Objection!”
Just as Yoo Ah-rin was about to declare me innocent, Choi I-seo finally shouted and jumped to her feet.
Her face was a whirlwind of complex emotions, and she squeezed her eyes shut as she steeled her resolve.
“I… I really didn't want to say this.”
“Haha! Plaintiff! It doesn't matter what you say now, the result won't change! Woo-jini is innocent!”
Ye-rin, why are you reciting the classic lines of a villain right before they get defeated?
“In the first place, I didn't care that Kim Woo-jin lasted a long time. We’ve done it several times already, so of course I knew.”
“Hmm? Then what? Is it because of the post? You were angry even before you knew about that.”
As Yoo Ah-rin asked with a tilt of her head, Choi I-seo finally spilled everything, as if she’d made up her mind.
“Why do you think it got posted?! Why couldn't I hold back my voice?! It’s all because of that!”
“Huh?”
I tried to sneak away from my seat.
Grab!
Before I knew it, both of my hands were pinned down by the jury. Senior Ju-hee’s grip, in particular, was no joke.
“Stay right there, Woo-jin.”
“Yes, ma'am…”
My escape attempt failed.
Seo Ye-rin even had her arms wrapped tightly around my waist.
“Go on.”
Yoo Ah-rin also looked intrigued as she sat back and crossed her legs. She was tapping her shoulder with a backscratcher she’d picked up from somewhere.
“Why do you think the sound leaked outside? It’s because that… that bastard opened the windows and the door!”
In an instant, everyone’s eyes were fixed on me.
Sweat began to bead on my forehead, and I desperately wanted to find a place to hide.
“N-No, I opened them because it was too hot. Everyone knows it gets hot when you’re having sex!”
I tried to make an excuse, but Choi I-seo gritted her teeth and pointed a finger at me in an outburst of resentment.
“You opened the door on purpose, telling me to see how well I could hold it in!”
A silence lasted for about three seconds.
And then.
“…Wow.”
Seo Ye-rin’s gasp of awe was the trigger.
“Isn't that guy a psychopath?!”
“You piece of trash! You opened the door while you were railing her?!”
“And you kept your mouth shut and claimed you were innocent after doing that?”
“Eek?!”
As everyone else showered me with insults, Choi Jin-ah, who didn't quite understand, backed away in a panic and grabbed some snacks.
“G-Get out of our village, you monster!”
She then started throwing the snacks at me.
She didn't know what was going on, but she clearly wanted to join in on the fun.
“He even dragged me near the door by force! How on earth was I supposed to endure that while he kept thrusting from behind with both my hands pinned?!”
I don't think I’d ever seen Choi I-seo this angry.
Probably never.
I suppose it was proof of how close we’d become.
Seo Ye-rin, who had been hugging my waist tightly, finally stood up slowly.
She hadn't said a word until now, but she licked her dry lips and spoke in a voice thick with emotion.
“Your Honor.”
“Yes, Defense.”
“For Woo-jini… the death penalty…”
“Ye-rinaaa?!”
At my call, Seo Ye-rin turned her head away, covering her mouth with her hand as if holding back tears.
“Hey, trash. Any last words?”
At the judge’s foul-mouthed prompt, I bit my lip and spat out my final statement.
“But I-seo looked so damn hot struggling like that!”