Chapter 344: Fucking Eat
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 344: Fucking Eat
“Hello, subscribers! It’s Ah-rin!”
“Fuck, I almost puked.”
Hearing Yoo Ah-rin’s fake, bubbly greeting right next to me made the curse slip out before I could stop it.
The Master, who was filming with the camera, stared at me blankly, and Yoo Ah-rin bit her lip, glaring daggers at me.
“Ahem, sorry.”
“You’ve seen our videos before, haven’t you?”
“There’s a bit of a difference between seeing it on screen and seeing it right next to me.”
Honestly, it wasn’t just a ‘bit’ of a difference; it was massive.
I thought I was going to puke because I was exhausted, but no, it was because it was so cringey.
“Should we turn the camera off for a second?”
With a bright smile, Yoo Ah-rin dragged me straight into the women’s locker room.
A moment later.
“Hello, subscribers! It’s Ah-rin!”
“And it’s Woo-jini! So, so nice to meet you all!”
Having finished my ‘mental training,’ I was now fully equipped with the proper mindset of a Neutuber.
Strictly speaking, it wasn’t mental training so much as it was physical education.
But apparently, even this wasn’t quite right.
“Hey, you don’t have to overdo the reactions. You’re just a guest anyway, so just greet them normally.”
“Is that okay?”
“It’ll be hardest on you if you try to keep that energy up the whole time anyway.”
True. Honestly, talking with such exaggeration felt pretty awkward.
“Just act like you usually do.”
“Okay.”
So I just had to be my usual self.
“Hello, subscribers. This is Ah-rin—”
“……”
“……”
The Master and I both stared blankly at Yoo Ah-rin.
This was already the third retake.
I hadn’t even done anything this time, so I wondered what the problem was.
Yoo Ah-rin, frozen mid-greeting, pondered for a moment before letting out a deep sigh.
“Don’t act like you usually do.”
“Huh?”
“Thinking back on how you usually act… yeah, doing that would be a bad idea.”
“……You’re being a real bitch, you know that?”
* * *
The filming proceeded smoothly after that.
From me putting on the Dobok, to me complaining about the white belt, to everyone being surprised that I was in surprisingly good shape.
Watching Oh Yun-ji and Choi I-seo give me thumbs-ups from behind the camera, I felt a sense of pride, knowing we were getting enough footage for a fun video just from simple conversation.
And now, we were in the middle of a post-mortem of sorts.
“Look at this. You’re throwing your punch like this, so your knuckles are all scraped up.”
“Hey, I thought I hit him pretty stylishly in my own way.”
“It looked stylish enough. But hey, right here—”
It was the video of me catching the voyeur.
We were reviewing the fight I had with the fleeing voyeur, discussing how I could have subdued him more safely and easily.
‘Didn’t she praise me like crazy when she saw this video back then?’
She even said I looked sexy.
Now, she was tearing me apart.
“Look, see? Like this. You could have just used a kick to keep your distance.”
“I told you, I was chasing him!”
“Then it’s even easier. Just a flying kick right to the back of the head—!”
She stepped back a few paces and gave a clean demonstration.
Her form was definitely flashy yet stable.
“If you do it like this, he’s subdued instantly.”
“Wouldn’t he die if he got hit by that?”
“You’re a weakling, so it’s fine for me to hit you as much as I want.”
“……”
“Who’s going to die from one of your kicks?”
The session naturally transitioned into a kicking lesson.
When she was teaching, Yoo Ah-rin was surprisingly serious and put a lot of effort into it.
Naturally, since she was teaching martial arts, there was frequent physical contact—brushing against each other or even pressing right up against one another.
I figured they’d either edit that out or frame it in a way that made the viewers envious of me.
By the time we finished front kicks and moved on to roundhouse kicks…
“Hmm.”
Yoo Ah-rin placed her hands on her hips, looking quite displeased.
“You don’t stretch, do you?”
“Stretching?”
“Yeah. I told you a long time ago that it’s good to stretch regularly after you wake up.”
“Is there anyone who doesn’t know that?”
I just didn’t do it because it was a hassle.
Even if my body was stiff, it wasn’t like I couldn’t function in daily life.
“Sigh, this won’t do. Let’s do some leg splitting.”
So it was finally starting.
The dreaded leg splitting.
‘Ah, I’m getting a bit nervous.’
To be honest, I’d never really put much effort into this.
I never had a reason to split my legs in the first place.
Usually, people do this when they’re kids, and who would dare try to force my legs apart?
Unless they wanted their own life to be torn apart, that is.
“Sit down.”
“I used to stretch a lot back in the day to try and copy your windmill.”
“I said sit down and face me.”
“I worked pretty hard at it back then.”
“I get it, so just sit.”
“But once I lost interest in the windmill, I started wondering if a person really needs to be that flexible.”
“Sit.”
“And isn’t being stiff actually proof of being solid? As a man, I’d rather be solid than flexi—!”
Eventually, unable to watch any longer, the other Taekwondo members rushed over and forced me into a seated position.
Isn’t this torture?
“Hands.”
Yoo Ah-rin held out both hands.
I felt a bit like a dog, but I took them anyway.
Then, she began to push against my ankles with the soles of her feet.
“Uh? Uh-oh? Uhhh? Oh my?”
“Relax. Just let all the tension go. Then they’ll stretch naturally.”
“They’re not stretching! This is the limit!”
It hurt like hell!
Setting aside the fact that my legs weren’t opening as much as I expected, I didn’t realize that having someone else forcibly split your legs would involve such excruciating pain.
I remembered asking Ah-rin to do it with her legs wide open before.
I felt a slight pang of regret, wondering if I’d asked her to do something too difficult back then.
“Once it hurts once, it won’t hurt the next time.”
“I don’t want it to hurt even once!”
To hell with the filming.
I desperately tried to twist my body away, thinking only of escaping.
Press!
A weight settled on my back.
Oh Yun-ji had quietly sat down on top of me.
“What are you doing! Get off! You think this is a joke?!”
“Then should I have someone else get on? Maybe that guy over there?”
Oh Yun-ji pointed at the most muscular one, Pyo Jin-ho.
Seeing Pyo Jin-ho looking ready to step in at any moment, I bit my lip hard.
“G-Go easy on the pushing.”
“Ah, what should I do? This is too much fun.”
Bounce!
Bounce!
Bounce!
Oh Yun-ji suddenly started repeatedly standing up and sitting back down.
“Gah!?”
A groan escaped me involuntarily, but Oh Yun-ji kept pushing my back down with her butt, telling me to go lower.
“Is this even allowed on camera? This is way too suggestive—aaaaagh! Fuck! It hurts so baaaaad!”
“Hello, everyone. I’m Oh Yun-ji, the CEO of Star Studio. Please continue to show our Cheer Up Team lots of love, okay?”
The sight of her greeting the camera was seriously irritating.
One person’s hip joints were being pulverized, while the other was casually using him as a seat.
“I’m answering this in advance because I know there will be questions in the comments. No, we haven’t gotten back together. We’re just friends like this.”
“You crazy bitch—! Get off me, please!”
“Woo-jin just likes me way too much.”
“Fuuuuuuck!”
“Oof, there’s going to be a lot of bleeping.”
No matter how much I struggled to get up, I couldn’t.
I realized that lifting my knees slightly made it a bit easier.
Press!
A steady pressure forced my knees back down.
Glancing to the side, I saw Choi I-seo, looking embarrassed, using her feet to press down on my rising knees.
“I-I-seo?”
“They told me to help.”
“I-seo, say hi to the camera.”
“Hello. I’m Choi I-seo, a friend of these three.”
“She’s pretty, right? I wanted to scout her for Star Studio, but she said she doesn’t want to be on broadcasts.”
“What’s with this all of a sudden?”
Look at them, just chatting away while leaving me like this.
I glared at Yoo Ah-rin, who was still pulling my arms and splitting my legs from the front.
“Be grateful. It’s girls pressing you down, not guys.”
“That makes it even worse! I bet the comments will be all like ‘he’s so lucky’ or ‘I wish that were me’—aaargh?!”
“Aw, I’m so happy because Woo-jin is so happy.”
“You son of a biiiiiitch!”
Whenever I tried to curse, she’d pull harder, drowning me out with my own screams.
The leg splitting, which felt more like a half-threatened interrogation, continued for quite a long time.
* * *
“……”
If I had to describe it…
It felt like my thighs had just eaten a super spicy Malatang.
It was tingly and stinging, which felt awful, but strangely addictive.
It hurt like absolute hell while my legs were being split, but once it was over, it felt surprisingly refreshing.
So even though I wanted to complain, I couldn’t quite bring myself to do it.
“Wow, we got some great footage today.”
“The content is solid and the visuals are great. The comment section is going to explode this time.”
“Great work, everyone!”
The Cheer Up Team members were bustling about, tidying up the Taekwondo dojang.
Those jerks had already changed their clothes to leave while I was busy dying during the leg splitting.
“To celebrate the successful shoot, the Master is treating! Let’s go get drinks!”
Even the Master, saying the shoot went very well, pulled out his card.
The team members cheered.
They were already noisily discussing what to eat.
“Those bastards.”
Sitting in the corner of the dojang, I had already been abandoned.
Look at them, tossing me aside the moment they’d sucked all the sweetness out of me.
‘I’m going to eat like crazy.’
I didn’t know what the menu for the dinner would be, but I was determined to stuff my face.
“Alright! Everyone, before we go eat, should we head outside and move some gear?”
“Wow, Master, you only said we were going out to eat so you could use us.”
“Look at him, drawing up the big picture to use us as laborers.”
“Ahem, these are the filming equipment rented from Star Studio. They’re arriving soon, so wait outside and everyone bring one thing in.”
I glanced over at Oh Yun-ji, who was heading outside while on the phone.
“Yes, yes. Parking is difficult here, so you’ll have to park a bit further away. Please wait.”
Seeing Choi I-seo go with her, it seemed she intended to help.
Just like that, everyone headed out, leaving the Taekwondo dojang empty and quiet.
“Assholes.”
Abandoned, I trudged into the men’s locker room to change out of my Dobok.
Clatter!
“What? Where did everyone go?!”
“Holy shit?!”
Yoo Ah-rin poked her head through the door. She must have been late because she was in the women’s locker room changing.
“Are you crazy?! Why are you just barging in!”
I wondered if she’d lost her mind, just walking into the men’s locker room like that.
“I saw your shoes were the only ones left, so I figured you’d be in here.”
“You don’t just barge in like this other times, do you?”
“Are you crazy? I don’t even want to see. Where did everyone else go?”
“Outside. Moving gear.”
“Ugh, I guess I should head out in a bit.”
Yoo Ah-rin grumbled as she stepped inside. I stared at her, wondering why she was coming in.
“What.”
It was absurd how confident she was.
“It smells like sweat in here. I told them so many times to use deodorant.”
Watching her look around the men’s locker room with a scowl was ridiculous, but…
“……”
On the other hand, this situation was unexpectedly…
“Put your pants on, you idiot.”
…arousing.
Thump.
As I took a step toward Yoo Ah-rin, she flinched.
“W-Wait a second. Not here!”
“You said we’d do it at our dojang too.”
“D-Did I? No! I’m sure I refused!”
Thump.
“I worked hard today, so I think I deserve a reward.”
“That’s true! But not now! You said the Master was buying meat!”
“I’m going to eat.”
Didn’t I say it earlier?
I was going to eat like crazy.
Though I’d only just decided what I was going to eat.
“R-Really, you can’t! You said they went to move gear! They’ll be back soon—mmph?!”
Yoo Ah-rin tried to make an excuse.
But my tongue had already begun to forcibly ravish the inside of her mouth.