Chapter 210: Praise
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 210: Praise
"Ugh."
The "Sex Day" that had somehow stretched into a full two-day marathon finally came to an end.
By the time I finished lunch and made it back to the dormitory, it was already 3:00 PM.
My lower back was throbbing with a dull ache, but the sense of satisfaction in my heart far outweighed the physical pain.
I had to head to my part-time job in just two hours, so I dragged my exhausted body along, trying my best to stay conscious.
The image of Choi I-seo falling into a deep sleep the moment we finished flickered in my mind. I was already jealous of the rest she must be getting.
"Is this the weight of being the head of the household?"
I felt like I finally understood why married men talk about things like "obligatory defense matches." The fatigue weighing down my body was no joke.
Of course, toward the end, I was the one stubbornly dragging Choi I-seo along, insisting on more...
Anyway, I figured Choi I-seo had finally learned the true pleasure of a man.
Sex is a wonderful thing.
"Yaaaawn."
I was exhausted, but I knew if I fell asleep now, I wouldn't be able to wake up in two hours.
Thinking I should do something to kill the time, I stepped out of my room.
In the hallway, I saw a group of guys huddled together, whispering loudly.
"What are you guys doing?"
There were third-year seniors mixed in with the second-years, but since they weren't from the English Department, I didn't have any bad blood with them.
Plus, my close friend Oh Dae-sang was there, so I naturally joined the group.
"Oh, Woo-jin."
"You didn't come back last night."
"The dorm supervisor was complaining about docking your points."
"It couldn't be helped."
I couldn't exactly leave Choi I-seo lying naked next to me just because of some penalty points. The trade-off was heavily in my favor.
"More importantly, the mood seems pretty grim. Why is he crying?"
I hadn't noticed because he was hidden behind the others, but one of the second-year guys looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown.
"Well, you see..."
The story was quite simple.
The guy had a girlfriend, and they had gone to a hotel together. But perhaps because he was too nervous, he couldn't get an erection, and they ended up just leaving.
"Oof, at such a young age."
I clicked my tongue in sympathy.
Just how nervous must he have been?
I didn't even feel like teasing him because it was so pitiful. The other guys were also looking at him with unusually sympathetic expressions.
"F-fuck. It works just fine when I'm watching porn!"
He tried to plead his case, but what could he do? Everyone is a pro during practice. It's the real match that matters.
"What did your girlfriend say?"
At my question, everyone's eyes turned to him.
They were probably all curious but hadn't dared to ask because of the atmosphere.
With the sound of several people gulping, the guy carefully opened his mouth.
"She said it was okay. In fact, she said she was sorry..."
"Wow, holy shit, she's a saint."
"She's an angel! This guy is dating a literal angel!"
"That's why God judged you! You tried to defile a pure woman, so the Lord handed down a divine punishment!"
They all started making a fuss.
On the flip side, the girl might have been worried that something was wrong with her.
A healthy twenty-year-old man—someone whose basic nature is to turn everything into something erotic—couldn't get it up during the main event.
"Stop teasing me, you bastards!"
The atmosphere lightened up significantly.
Amidst the rowdy chatter, I offered my own solution.
"Come by our shop. I start my shift in two hours. If you come, I'll help you out."
"...Where do you work?"
Ah, I guess he didn't know.
"An adult goods store."
* * *
"Sigh, this is a problem."
Senior Ju-hee, whose shift overlapped with mine, let out a deep sigh and shared her honest thoughts.
"So the girl is in a total panic, crying her eyes out. She's asking what she's supposed to do."
"Tsk, that's unfortunate."
Surprisingly, the girlfriend of the guy I had just talked to had gone to Senior Ju-hee for advice.
Since they were both dorm residents and Senior Ju-hee was exceptionally reliable among the female students, it wasn't that strange.
"What did you tell her?"
"I just... told her to keep trying. I don't really know much about that kind of stuff."
Ah, right.
The senior was a delinquent when it came to fighting, but in terms of romantic relationships, she was more ignorant than a country girl.
Is that even possible?
She's like a character straight out of an anime.
"I guess the guy has his own worries too. I didn't expect him to consult you."
Since we had already shared the details, I replied to Senior Ju-hee that it was fine.
"I decided to help him out today. Our shop specializes in that kind of thing, after all. So don't worry."
"Specializes, you say..."
She looked awkward, not knowing how to respond, but she didn't deny it.
"More importantly, Senior, I'm so tired. Could you possibly make me a coffee? I'll head over to the cafe as soon as I clock in."
"Forget it, I'll bring it to you. It's not far anyway. Iced, right?"
"Yep! Thank you!"
As expected of Captain Ju.
She was just overflowing with consideration.
After parting with Senior Ju-hee and clocking in, the guy showed up exactly on time. I welcomed him with a smile.
"Welcome!"
"I-I've never been to a place like this before."
"Most people haven't. It's supposed to be awkward. Anyway, come over here."
It wasn't that he had actual erectile dysfunction. If he could get it up while watching porn, then the issue was psychological.
I led him to the section with toys for women.
From massive ones to bizarrely shaped ones, the variety was immense. The moment he saw them, he flinched.
"W-wow. I've only seen these in videos."
"Right? And these are exactly what you need to buy today."
At my words, he whipped his head around to look at me.
"Why?"
"What do you mean 'why'? You couldn't get it up because you were nervous, right?"
"...Yeah."
"You felt pressured to get it up quickly, which made you anxious. Then you got even more nervous. It's a vicious cycle. If you try again next time, the same thing will happen."
In fact, it could be even worse.
If it got bad enough, psychological factors could lead to actual chronic ED.
"The important thing is to keep the momentum going. Even if you can't get it up, use a toy to maintain the flow. Once a natural atmosphere is established and you feel like you're satisfying her, you'll relax and go back to your normal self."
"..."
Despite my explanation, he still had a conflicted expression.
"But... I'm not really into toys."
What he said next was quite a spectacle.
"I-it feels like I'm losing to them. Besides, they're bigger than mine..."
"Look at this guy. Who told you to take those? You can just take something like a vibrator."
"..."
"Besides, humans are tool-using animals. Later on, you won't see them as rivals, but as comrades fighting alongside you."
"Is... is that how it is?"
"That's how it is."
Look at me now.
My back is still aching.
If I'd had a comrade like that, it wouldn't have been this hard.
"Now, go pick a comrade."
I laughed and slapped him on the back.
He nodded as if making a grand resolution and grabbed one.
"You crazy bastard, don't take the big one."
It seemed I would need to help him choose his comrade properly.
* * *
"Thank you so much!"
The next day.
The guy from yesterday came to find me in the classroom while I was resting my chin on my hand.
He was smiling brighter than ever, holding a coffee and a cake.
"It was a success thanks to you!"
"Whoa, is this a Walnut Cookie cake? They only sell a limited amount of these!"
I handed the cake to Seo Ye-rin, who was sitting next to me, and just nodded while sipping the coffee.
"Yeah, congrats."
It seemed the plan had worked.
Seeing him with such a satisfied smile made me feel proud for some reason.
"Keep up the good work and have a beautiful relationship."
"Thanks, Woo-jin! Seriously, thank you!"
The guy thanked me several more times before finally leaving.
"What's he so happy about?"
Seo Ye-rin asked while tilting her head and eating the cake.
I just gave her a benevolent smile and told her it was nothing.
Everyone has a past they'd rather not dig up, don't they?
"More importantly, has your mother said anything about me?"
When I naturally changed the subject, Seo Ye-rin scooped up a large piece of cake and popped it into my mouth.
"Not really? Surprisingly, she hasn't said much at all."
"Really?"
I thought I had crossed the line quite a bit when I met her at the shop last time.
I was a total madman.
Even if I was just following the flow, recommending a toy to my future mother-in-law was... yeah.
"It's a relief she hasn't said anything for now."
"It's not a relief at all!"
Seo Ye-rin pouted grumpily.
Actually, she had been like this for a while.
I thought she was fine because she was excited about the cake, but she was currently in full "snarky mode."
"Was it good with I-seo? You were out of reach all day."
"Lying wouldn't work, would it?"
I gave an honest answer to Seo Ye-rin, who was glaring at me as if to say, "Obviously."
"It was good. It was so go—Agh! That hurts!"
Seo Ye-rin slammed her fist into my thigh while glaring.
"Hmph!"
"Hey, was I supposed to say it wasn't good?"
"Yes! That's exactly what you should say! At least in front of me, can't you say that much?"
If she really wanted to hear that, I could say it.
"If I tell you that, you're just going to go tell I-seo, aren't you?"
The problem was that those words wouldn't stay between us.
"..."
The moment I saw Seo Ye-rin keep her mouth shut, I had my answer.
"Wow, just imagining it gives me chills."
Woo-jin said doing it with me is better than doing it with you, I-seo.
The moment she said that, a bomb would go off.
No joke, Choi I-seo might actually come to kill me.
"I'm genuinely terrified."
I shuddered, imagining Choi I-seo looking down at me with a cold gaze, asking if I had any last words.
"But still... as a woman, I want to hear things like that."
Seo Ye-rin whined, leaning against me. She took a sip of her coffee and stuck out her lip.
"Can't you say things like, 'Your pussy is the best, a god-tier masterpiece,' or something like that?"
"I guarantee you, you're the only one who wants to hear that."
"...Is that so?"
"Yeah, that's so."
"But I heard guys like it when you praise their dicks?"
Where on earth does she pick up this kind of random knowledge?
"Who the hell told you that?"
I looked at her in disbelief, and she rubbed her head against my shoulder. It felt a bit like watching a puppy.
"Woo-jin's is so full, it feels great."
"..."
"Plus, it doesn't get tired easily, and it's so hard."
"Heh."
Seo Ye-rin caught the corners of my mouth twitching upward. She laughed and whipped her head up.
"See?! I'm right! I told you guys like it when you praise that stuff! That's why they said you should always praise them no matter what!"
"Ah, damn it."
I got baited.
But honestly, my mood suddenly shot up, and my self-esteem was soaring.
Hmm.
Maybe I should try using this later.
If guys like Ahn Hyun-ho or Jeong Chan-woo are in a bad mood, I'll just praise their dicks.
"Isn't it the same thing? I bet girls would like it if a guy said, 'You're delicious! Umai!' or something."
"Is... is that how it works?"
Well, my mood definitely just improved.
I glanced at Seo Ye-rin and whispered softly so the people around us couldn't hear.
"Ye-rin, you're fucking delicious."
"Hehehehe!"
Seo Ye-rin hugged me tight, looking delighted.
It's true!
It actually worked!
"Oh my. Was I really that good, Woo-jin?"
"Yeah, you were amazing."
As I hugged her gently, she rubbed her face against my chest, purring with happiness.
Seo Ye-rin, who had been angry about me sleeping with Choi I-seo until just a moment ago, was instantly appeased!
Man, life is about to get so easy.
Is this what it feels like to discover a cheat code?
I could now manipulate human emotions.
Vibrate!
My phone went off.
Yoo Ah-rin was in a foul mood, just like Seo Ye-rin had been. I smirked and immediately sent a text.
"Hey, Kim Woo-jin."
After sending the text with satisfaction, I turned my head to see Ahn Hyun-ho staring at me with a scowl.
"Stop with the PDA in the classroom. That's why weird rumors are spreading."
"Rumors?"
"Rumors like you taking your pants off in class. Sigh, keep it down. You're ruining the English Department's image."
What a load of nonsense.
I gave the complaining Ahn Hyun-ho a wink and replied.
"I saw you in the bathhouse, man. You're packing some serious heat, aren't you?"
"..."
A moment of silence.
Ahn Hyun-ho stared at me blankly, then grit his teeth and clenched his fists.
"Come outside, you crazy bastard. I'm not letting it slide today."
Wait.
"I-I heard most people take it well if you praise their equipment?"
As I tried to explain while peeling Seo Ye-rin off me, Ahn Hyun-ho's face contorted in rage.
"You think I'd feel good if I praised yours?!"
I took a second to imagine it.
"Ugh! You want to die?!"
I almost gagged.
"That's exactly what you just did to me. You're lucky I've become a nicer person, or I would've punched you already."
"...Well, thanks for that."
But wait a minute.
Vibrate!
Vibrate!
Vibrate!
A series of texts I was too scared to check came flooding in.
I gulped and took a peek.
"Ah, I'm screwed."
I slapped my forehead and let out a long sigh.
Feeling like I had finally returned to reality, I shot a resentful look at Seo Ye-rin.
"Woo-jin is smart sometimes."
She stuck her tongue out playfully and laughed.
"But he's stupid quite often."
"Come here, Seo Ye-rin."
I immediately grabbed her cheeks and pulled.
"Sthop it!"
"You're playing with me?! Do you know what kind of humiliation I just went through because of you? I've suddenly become someone who sexually harassed Ahn Hyun-ho!"
"Ugh, gross."
Ahn Hyun-ho immediately ran away.
"And Yoo Ah-rin is asking where I am so she can kill meeee!"
As I pulled on her soft cheeks, Seo Ye-rin reached out, refusing to lose.
"Die!"
Seo Ye-rin accurately grabbed my crotch. I was sitting down, and I had pants and underwear on, but...
Squeeze!
As she applied pressure, the sharp pain made me let go of her face instantly.
"I-I surrender."
"...Aren't you surrendering a bit too fast?"
Seo Ye-rin looked unimpressed, but it was such a sensitive area that I had no choice.
"L-let go already."
"Sand Binding Coffin!"
"AAAAAAGH!"
You crazy bitch!