Chapter 190: World's Best Penis Contest
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 190: World's Best Penis Contest
Being a university area, it was only natural that there were many cafes near Gahyeon University.
Min Ju-hee was also at a cafe, but today, she was there as an interviewee, not a customer.
"Ju-hee, I've heard a lot about you from the English Department seniors. They said you're very responsible and a hard worker."
"Yes, I am."
Min Ju-hee nodded confidently.
"Even if there's something I'm not good at yet, I'll put in the effort to learn. I'll make sure I get it right eventually."
As she spoke with a bright, confident smile, the cafe owner also wore a satisfied expression.
The owner was paying a bit more than the minimum wage, but it didn't seem like they would regret it.
However, there was one concern.
"It's exam period; are you sure you're okay taking on a part-time job? It's a relief for me since my other part-timers are all taking off because they're busy, but still..."
Min Ju-hee had always received a full scholarship and planned to continue doing so.
Because of that, she usually avoided part-time jobs as much as possible, but she continued with a confident answer.
"Yes, it's fine."
"Well, if you say so, then it's fine. I look forward to working with you."
Min Ju-hee stepped out of the cafe.
The cafe itself was on the smaller side, but it had a nice atmosphere and the coffee was good, so it was always packed with students even when it wasn't exam season.
"Phew."
Having finished the interview smoothly, Min Ju-hee stretched and checked her phone.
Looking at the time, it was already too late for a school meal.
It was a shame, but she figured she'd just grab some cup ramen from the convenience store to tide her over. But then...
"Huh?"
She spotted a group of guys on the street.
Among them, the first one to catch her eye was, of course, Kim Woo-jin.
Feeling glad to see him, her legs were already carrying her toward him before she knew it.
I wonder if he's had lunch yet?
If not, it would be nice to eat together, she thought.
Only then did she notice the other guys around him.
Kang Han-gang and Ahn Hyun-ho.
And Pyo Jin-ho and Jeong Chan-woo, whom she had seen when they fought those gangsters last time.
Why does Woo-jin hang out with guys like that?
She was worried he might be falling in with the wrong crowd, but then...
"Can we even measure it with this?"
Ahn Hyun-ho held up a 30cm ruler, tilting his head in doubt.
"If a guy's dick is longer than that, he should be an AV actor."
"Pfft! If I had one that big, I'd be a sausage model or something."
"Wouldn't urology clinics be calling you up too?"
Ju-hee froze.
She had been running toward Kim Woo-jin, but the moment she heard their conversation, she stopped dead in her tracks.
"It's the World's Best Penis Contest. Fuck, let's see who wins."
At Kim Woo-jin's excited declaration, Min Ju-hee slowly backed away and ducked straight into a nearby convenience store.
As if she hadn't heard a single thing.
However.
While picking out her ramen.
While filling it with hot water.
While waiting the three minutes.
And even while eating the ramen.
"H-Huh...?"
Min Ju-hee's face burned bright red from the sudden influx of excessive information.
Naturally, her mind drifted to the time at Gold One when Kim Woo-jin was with both Seo Ye-rin and Yoo Ah-rin at the same time.
She didn't want to think about it.
But she couldn't help her thoughts from heading in that direction.
* * *
"Why the hell was I dragged into this?"
Jeong Chan-woo, who had joined us midway, grumbled in annoyance.
I was actually a bit touched that he came when we called saying it was an emergency, even though he was on a date with his girlfriend.
But the moment he realized it was for the World's Best Penis Contest, his expression turned sour.
"Se-rin is pissed. We were supposed to see a movie, but I told her I had to go because of my friends."
"Wow, but you still came. Now that's true friendship."
"I would've come if it were actually something important. Being called out for something like the WBPC just feels gross."
When Ahn Hyun-ho, who had called him, laughed and put an arm around his shoulder, Jeong Chan-woo immediately swatted his hand away.
"You can just date another girl anyway."
"Yeah, she's just a passing girlfriend, what's the big deal?"
"You guys are really crossing the line just because it's someone else's relationship."
Jeong Chan-woo glared at Han-gang and Pyo Jin-ho's grumbling, looking incredulous.
Regardless, we arrived.
"Five men."
I handed over my card and warned the guys behind me.
"The loser pays for this today. Transfer the money to my account afterward, Chan-woo."
"...Why do you assume I'm going to be last?"
"Hasn't the loser already paid?"
"It seems the loser has found his rightful place."
Look at these bastards wagging their tongues.
"I'll shut your mouths soon enough."
After receiving our locker keys, we headed inside.
As we stripped, everyone's physique was quite impressive.
The most notable ones were Pyo Jin-ho and Jeong Chan-woo.
Perhaps because of his Taekwondo background, Pyo Jin-ho had solid muscles built over a large frame.
Chan-woo looked on the slim side, but once his clothes were off, his toned, angular body looked like a model's.
Ahn Hyun-ho and Senior Han-gang weren't bad either.
"Oh, Woo-jin. You've been working out lately? You've put on some muscle."
"Don't touch me."
I slapped away Chan-woo's hand as he tried to feel my muscles.
He looked offended but shook his head.
"I have a girlfriend. I'm not gay."
"You never know. The boyfriend position is still vacant."
"I'm seriously going to kill Kim Woo-jin."
Anyway, once the clothes were off, I thought the sizes would be pretty obvious, but...
"How can one judge if the shadow in the stream is a python or a dragon?"
"What's the point of beating Goku if he's not in Super Saiyan mode, you Vegeta bastards?"
I didn't know who said it, but I agreed that a match without full power wasn't a real match.
After showering, we entered the bath.
While soaking in the hot tub and melting away our fatigue with small talk, we faced a rather significant problem.
"Hey, but isn't it kind of psycho to get hard in a public bathhouse?"
It was a bit startling that such a common-sense statement came from Pyo Jin-ho.
He was right.
What exactly were we supposed to look at here to get excited?
We couldn't bring phones inside, so it wasn't like we could watch porn.
"Handplay is... never mind."
Han-gang started to suggest something but took it back.
Fuck, that would be even weirder.
A man doing "handplay" in a men's bathhouse would be a truly disturbing sight.
"I'm serious. If I see someone doing handplay in a bathhouse? I'm confident I'd drop everything and run."
"Me too. If I got caught, I'd probably lower my eyes, get on my knees, and beg for my life."
As we looked at each other in awkwardness, I scratched my cheek and looked at Chan-woo.
"Can't you do it?"
"...Say one more word and I'll kill you, Kim Woo-jin."
Never mind then.
But this was getting problematic.
"The ruler I brought is useless now."
Ahn Hyun-ho lamented, waving the ruler around.
"I know. I even called someone to be the judge."
As I sighed and muttered, the eyes of the other four snapped toward me simultaneously.
"A judge?"
"Who?"
Who else could it be?
The number of people who could enter a men's bathhouse and whom we all knew was extremely limited.
"Hello, boys."
A completely naked bald man entered the bathhouse and greeted us.
"Ah, fuck! Kim Woo-jin, you crazy bastard!"
"That uncle doesn't even have pubic hair, holy shit!"
"Isn't he already half-erect?!"
Look at those great reactions.
To be honest, after I called him, I wondered if I had been too excited and felt a bit hesitant.
But seeing how much these guys hated it, I felt like I had made the right choice.
"Mister, I called you to be the judge, but I think it's going to be difficult here."
When I cautiously apologized to the man who had entered the tub, he laughed heartily.
"It's fine, it's fine. I've already been sufficiently compensated."
With that, the man stared intently at Chan-woo.
"I have a girlfriend! And you're sexually harassing me right now!"
As Chan-woo shouted in desperation, the man replied with a gentle smile.
"Don't worry. I don't do anything without consent."
"Oh, he's got manners. Lucky you, Chan-woo."
"Ha... I really need to kill Kim Woo-jin."
Unable to take my teasing any longer, Jeong Chan-woo finally lunged at me. Luckily, the timing was awkward, so there were almost no other people in the bathhouse.
After a bout of chaos.
The World's Best Penis Contest ultimately went up in smoke.
"It's been a while since we've been to a bathhouse, so let's just relax."
"Yeah, let's scrub off some dead skin and hit the sauna."
"Sigh, what were we even doing at our age? It's like we were under a collective hypnosis."
"I'm telling you, it's all because of Kim Woo-jin."
In the end, we just became a group of friends who came to the sauna together.
"Everyone, transfer 9,000 won to me. You have to pay for the bathhouse."
"The bathhouse was 8,000 won, wasn't it?"
"Ah, this feels nice and relaxing."
The bathhouse back home was nice, but a place like this that showed the passage of time wasn't bad either.
"Hey, let's bet the bathhouse fees on who can last the longest in the sauna."
We all agreed to Han-gang's proposal.
"No going into the cold water. We're going straight in from the hot tub."
Since I couldn't allow any cold-water doping, I gave a warning and started to get out of the hot tub.
But the bald man didn't move.
"Aren't you going, Mister?"
When Ahn Hyun-ho asked, the man replied with an incredibly refreshing smile.
"Embarrassingly enough, I've stood up."
Without needing to say a word, we all scrambled out of the hot tub immediately.
"Ah, fuuuuuuck!"
"Run! Or your ass is gonna get punctured!"
"Gay! A real gay has appeared!"
"I can't go back in the hot tub! I seriously can't go back in!"
"Someone call the police on this man!"
The winner of the World's Best Penis Contest was the baldy.