Chapter 155
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 155
Nights during the Storm Era were long. Even as dawn drew near, not a hint of blue lightened the sky.
I stepped into the lounge of the Arch of Triumph, knelt on the floor, and began to meditate.
My very existence felt as if it were on the verge of shattering. If my focus wavered for even a moment, I felt my consciousness—my very sense of self—would explode and scatter.
How did I end up here?
Life was complex, and the universe unpredictable.
The victor of this crisis was Ivan Cracia. Fransek stood in an awkward middle ground, neither winner nor loser.
Heilas died, but he did not fail.
In fact, for the survival of the Imperial Guard and the Custoria family, this outcome was far better than the ‘tribute plan.’
At least, that was what I wanted to believe.
Well, I might as well consider the other options. I had plenty of time to think, after all. It was time to reflect on my past, since the time I had left to be myself was running out.
What if I had sided with Kinuan and the Emperor?
That would have been the most textbook path to success. Report Heilas’s movements to the Imperial Family and stab him in the back when the time was right.
I would have been the dagger plunged into Heilas’s back. A fatal one, at that.
Had I chosen that path, I would have become someone like Kinuan—a man so profoundly isolated he seemed almost noble, unable to trust a single soul. Even my feelings for Giselle and Ilay would have been locked away as mere memories. And eventually… Ilay would have died by my hand. He was competent, but he was never one to be loyal to the Empire. Just as Rick Silva Nunez had died by Kinuan’s hand.
I had no regrets about not siding with the Emperor and Kinuan. That choice would have kept me physically alive while killing the person I was. I would have either been consumed by agonizing regret or transformed into a creature incapable of feeling such remorse at all.
Another option would have been helping Ivan.
Avoiding that path had also been the right call.
Ivan had emerged as the ultimate victor, but not through his own capability. In his words, it was “heaven’s mandate.” In hindsight, helping Ivan assassinate Fransek would have been the worst possible move.
War would have broken out regardless, and with Ivan’s impatient nature, he never could have bested the Emperor in a shadow war. The Custoria family would have been wiped out. It was a path to certain ruin.
The ideal choice would have been to cooperate with Heilas just before the Storm Era began.
But around that time, Kinuan had driven a wedge into my mind. Because of that wedge, I doubted Heilas and couldn’t bring myself to trust him.
At the time, I didn't trust him. I thought he was forcing sacrifices and losses on me by thrusting unnecessary duties and responsibilities in my face. I thought he was just trying to use me.
Yet, the one who had actually seized control of my mind wasn’t Heilas, but Kinuan.
Because I didn't know what a family was, I assumed I was being exploited. Heilas did intend to use me, of course, but only to a certain extent.
What Heilas had emphasized was the responsibility one bore as a member of the family. He demanded that same responsibility and duty from everyone in his household, not just me.
He used me, yes, but he wasn't any harsher on me than he was on his own children.
Heilas had treated his other children the exact same way. If anything, he had actually shown me a degree of favoritism.
Thinking back on it now, the reason was simple. It was Heilas's way of trying to win my favor.
The situation must have been so dire that he had to stake the family's entire fate on me, his adopted son…
All of Heilas's actions looked different to me now. He hadn't been perfect; he had simply been hiding his anxiety and vulnerability beneath his coat.
Heilas had crossed a precarious bridge, relying on mere guesswork, yet he had smiled as if he knew it would never collapse. He had to. He had to appear flawless to those who trusted and followed him.
Just like Noel.
Heilas had shouldered all that anxiety and fear entirely on his own.
But I had shared my anxiety and fear with others.
I dragged Fransek and Ilay into this mess.
Somehow, my series of irrational decisions had led to the next-best outcome.
This is a decent ending. Far better than I expected.
Even if a choice seemed wrong by human calculation and logic, it could turn out to be the right one. The world we lived in was far too deep to be predicted by my limited perception.
It was thanks to a faint intuition that I had managed to navigate this sea of possibilities.
Well, this was enough. Luka—Lucaus Custoria. You did well. Well enough that you don't have to be ashamed to face Heilas.
I kept whispering to myself.
I hadn’t lost Giselle. I had protected the Custoria family. I had been able to face Heilas. And I had realized that there were people willing to help me.
It wasn’t a bad life. I think I lived it pretty well.
Of course, my life wasn’t clean. Many had died by my hand, and some of them had been innocent.
Whir, click.
My fingers were twitching on their own. Even meditation couldn’t suppress my malfunctioning body.
The conversion between my cybernetic and biological signals was failing, creating a widening rift between my prosthetic body and my physical brain. It reminded me of my cadet days when I first received this body. Back then, I couldn’t even walk properly.
This isn't my original body.
The moment a human shows even a sliver of weakness, the machine lunges to consume the flesh. I could never forget that. No matter how much it felt like my own, in the end, it was just a machine.
I was dying. My brain was slowly shutting down.
Only two endings remained for me.
To die completely and shut down, or to half-die and become permanently degraded.
Creak.
The door opened.
Hearing the sound, I barely managed to map the blurry figure with my auditory vision.
"Ilay, how's it looking outside?" I asked, keeping my head lowered.
Ilay walked in and sat across from me. He stuck a cigarette in his mouth like some thug from the Lower District, and soon the acrid scent of smoke filled the air.
"They're busy cleaning up the mess. Sporadic skirmishes are still breaking out. Can you believe it? In a place as massive as Akbaran, not a single soul knows exactly what the hell is going on."
"There is one person who knows. Kinuan."
"...Finding Kinuan right now is impossible. He was elusive even on a good day. In Akbaran, during the Storm Era, with chaos at its absolute peak? Not a chance."
By the time the dust settled, Kinuan would be long gone from Akbaran. I had so many things I wanted to ask him.
"Is Heilas really dead?"
"I didn't see the body myself, but there are plenty of testimonies from the Security Department survivors. He wiped out their entire security force single-handedly. More than ten of those strange former Imperial Guards were dead, too."
Heilas must have known he would need to win the war of public opinion the moment he moved against the Emperor. That was why he had seized the Information Security Department's central communication tower.
"Then..."
"Luka, before we get into that… how much time do you have left?"
"It feels like thirty minutes, at most."
Ilay clenched his jaw, speechless. He pressed a palm to his forehead and let out a heavy sigh.
"You stupid bastard…"
"I don't have much time, so let's keep talking. Ivan is volatile, but he's not uncontrollable. Keep him in check while making sure Fransek stays alive. Once things settle down, Ivan will try to eliminate him."
Now that the end was near, my only lingering worry was Ivan. For the time being, he wouldn't have the leeway to make any reckless moves.
If I keep Ilay by Fransek's side, he can keep Ivan in check.
I had seen Ivan’s true colors. He was a predictable man.
"Ilay, to be frank, the person you are now doesn't mesh with me. The only reason we could ever be friends… is because we met before the darkness inside you woke up."
Ilay was far closer to the Imperial Family than I was. He was cruel, cold-hearted, and occasionally resorted to methods that bordered on despicable. But someone like him could fill the gaps in Fransek's armor.
"...Haha, you're only realizing that now? I've always known we didn't mesh. If I ever laid bare all the filthy thoughts in my head, you'd be absolutely horrified."
"If you knew that, why did you get close to me?"
"At first, I was trying to find your weakness. It's much easier to grab a single weakness and drag you down than to work my ass off to get to the top of the class. You were an Irregular, so you would've been kicked out over the slightest slip-up anyway."
At first, I thought he was joking. But he wasn't. He was likely telling the absolute truth.
...Then again, he had shown signs of being a devious schemer ever since he tried to set me up with his first love, Lillian Ramones.
"Hmm. For all that talk, you never used any weakness against me. What changed?"
"Who knows? I've forgotten. At some point, I just started to like you. It was funny watching you act all dead serious every time something went wrong."
Ilay smiled. I let the corners of my mouth twitch upward in a hollow chuckle.
In the end, that was just how things went. Intentions and emotions rarely aligned. That was precisely how I, after making all the wrong choices, managed to make it this far. If I had chosen the clever, "correct" path, Heilas would have killed me long ago.
Heilas had tried to kill me, yet in the end, he saved me, and even as he drew his last breaths, he aided my plan.
And even though I knew I couldn't defeat Rick Silva Nunez, I fought him to the bitter end. It was because of that struggle that I managed to reach the very heart of the Emperor's Watchers.
Sometimes, the wrong answer becomes the right one.
What is "right" changes depending on your perspective and timing. The exact same choice can be judged as right or wrong depending on the angle and the passage of time.
The choices I made during this Storm Era were the right ones for me. From someone else's perspective, I might be the worst villain to ever ruin the Empire. But I couldn't care less about their judgment.
"What even was Kinuan? A spy for Bellato or Kora?" Ilay asked, letting the burnt-out cigarette slip from his fingers.
I hesitated before answering. My speech functions were starting to fail. Forcing myself to focus, I squeezed out the words.
"If you think of Kinuan as a loyal subject, he becomes a traitor. If you think he's weak, he becomes strong. If you brand him as cold-blooded, he'll show a flash of humanity that makes you pity him. View him as an enemy, and he becomes an ally; treat him as an ally, and he'll drive a dagger into your back. That is Kinuan. A monster of pure randomness who wields chaos as a weapon."
Ilay stared at me, tilting his head.
"So what's his goal?"
"If you can figure that out, you can drag him down from a monster to a mere human. That… is up to you, Il… Ilay."
This was as far as I went. Someone else would have to uncover Kinuan's true motives.
"Hey, don't fall asleep yet. I called Giselle. At least wait until she gets here…"
His voice was fading.
I wanted to rest now. To sleep deeply. I had done enough.
I felt so weary. It felt as though my brain were submerged in a hot bath, my nerves unraveling strand by strand. Sparkling lights danced in my mind, and a pleasant, tingling warmth spread through my entire body.
Ilay leaned in and shook my shoulder. He even slapped my cheek, hard. The pain felt distant, as if it belonged to someone else.
The urge to sleep only grew stronger.
"Damn it, come on! I told you, I called Giselle! If you check out without even saying goodbye, I'm going to hit on her! You know I'm better looking than you, right?"
Well, that got my attention. I forced my arm forward and punched Ilay in the solar plexus.
Thud.
It was a pathetic, feather-light punch.
You know what? With a trash personality like yours, you're doomed to die alone.
The words wouldn't leave my mouth. Damn it.
"Luka, listen to me. I'm going to do a lot of dirty things from now on. I've already done plenty where you couldn't see. But I need you, of all people, to know… that I'm not doing this for personal gain. I'm still the same rebellious Ilay Kartika you know. Somewhere along the line, we became nothing but spare parts for this massive machine called the Empire. That's not right. Something is seriously wrong."
Ilay's voice sounded as if it were coming from miles away.
I sat there, motionless as an empty doll. I couldn't hold on any longer. As my senses went numb, it felt as though my body below the neck had ceased to exist.
"Lu…"
Ilay's voice dissolved into static.
Then, darkness. Numbness. Cold. Death. Sensation. No light, an abyss. I am lonely. I already miss the warmth.
And then, a tiny speck of light arrived to stave off my death.
"Lu… ka."
A voice like a glass marble dropping into water rippled through the dark.
Twitch.
I managed to move a finger. Giselle was holding me tight.
…She was warm. Thank goodness it wasn't a man's warmth. If I had regained consciousness to Ilay hugging me, I would have had to seriously question my sexuality.
A soft, faint kiss pressed against my lips.
Giselle, why do you love me? I'm arrogant, unpleasant, and my emotions are always a muddy mess. I'm dangerous, wrapped in secrets, and selfish. Even though I knew I would only bring you misery, I held you close.
There was so much I wanted to say. If only I had a little more time.
At the very end, I was certain of one thing: I had made a better choice than Noel. He had died in isolation, never understood or accepted by the ones he loved.
…Suddenly, I remembered a fairy tale book that used to sit in the corner of the orphanage's bookshelf. It was so old that the paper would crumble to dust whenever I turned a page. I don't know what possessed me back then, but I had read that useless book just to pass the time.
In those stories, a sweet kiss could wake a princess who had eaten a poisoned apple or turn a cursed frog back into a prince. In every tale, a kiss of true love was the key to a miracle.
Of course, no grand, wondrous miracle happened to us.
I only hoped Giselle would be happy, and that my friends, along with everyone who had helped me, would find peace.
…And with that, my consciousness faded.