Chapter 136
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 136
"The Watcher is a retainer to His Majesty the Emperor, but it’s an unofficial post…" I explained calmly.
Giselle listened in silence, as if she’d stopped breathing. Each time my voice trailed off, the sound of wind and rain battering the building rushed in to fill the void.
"...Essentially, I became a spy tasked with bringing down Custoria and the military. The plan was likely set in motion the moment I first entered the academy as an Imperial Guard Cadet."
It must have started back when I used Ballistic Control, a technique I'd never even learned. Whether it was Emperor Yuri Cracia or Kinuan, they must have been watching me closely ever since.
"Luka, you didn't betray Father, did you?" Giselle asked, placing her clenched fists on her knees.
I organized my thoughts for a moment before speaking. "In this world, arguing over who betrayed or deceived whom is pointless. All that matters is what benefits you. Looking back, Heilas never cared whether I was deceiving him or not. What mattered far more was whether the card named ‘Luka’ was useful to him. It wasn't a situation where he'd feel betrayed. Everyone here is deceiving someone else."
In that instant, a revelation burst through my mind like fireworks.
Twitch.
My eyelids trembled. Just by putting it into words, my thoughts and perspective had instantly aligned with those of the monsters I feared.
Allies and enemies are merely conceptual, emotional distinctions. Identifying friend from foe depends entirely on one's position and perspective, and it must be reassessed in real-time, every single moment.
Heilas, Kinuan, the Imperial Family.
To them, the boundary between friend and foe was blurry. It was simply a matter of making optimal decisions according to their respective goals, which interlocked with one another. If their goals aligned, they cooperated. If not, they turned their backs.
They don't hate someone for betrayal; they hate them for becoming useless. As long as you are useful, they will accept you even if you betray them. After all, they can just exploit that betrayal. If it brings a benefit, it is good.
It was a metacognitive judgment.
In this world, there's no reason to hate someone just for deceiving you.
Suddenly, their way of thinking became clear. I had always been terrified that my identity and secrets would be discovered and that they would dispose of me.
They had threatened to dispose of me at every turn.
There was no need to fear those threats.
They wouldn't discard a useful piece over something like that. If they truly intended to dispose of me, they wouldn't have wasted their breath on threats.
If only I had understood this sooner…
I could have revealed my existence and maintained the balance far more efficiently.
I had to constantly shift my perspective. My thoughts became so flexible they felt almost fluid, as if they were melting away.
"Luka, I don't understand." Giselle's pupils trembled. "So whose side are you on?"
Most people were like Giselle. They needed clear answers, a sharp line drawn between friend and foe. Only then could they find cognitive peace.
Heilas, Kinuan, and the Imperial Family—the ones who made these metacognitive judgments—seemed inhuman. That’s because ordinary people perceive words and actions that deviate from common sense and intuition as monstrous.
That was the same reason I'd seen them as monsters.
But from a purely consequentialist perspective, their motives and goals were extremely human.
Only now did I stand on the same level as them. It was late—far too late. But thanks to Noel's memories, I had managed to reach this point at all.
"...The side of those who don't despair," I muttered.
Giselle looked at me, her confusion deepening.
"I don't want to play games, Luka! You're saying Father could die. If our family is on the verge of annihilation…"
She squeezed her eyes shut. Tears she could no longer hold back streamed down her chin and dripped onto the back of her hand.
"Giselle, even if Heilas and I do everything we can, the chances of us getting through this are slim. That's an undeniable fact. But if Heilas hasn't given up… there might be a way for me to help him."
A long silence fell between us. The sound of wind and rain lashing the outer walls crackled like sparks.
Giselle stood up. She walked over to the window reinforced with iron plates and peered outside through a narrow gap.
"Why are you telling me all this? You weren't going to, were you?"
"I just wanted to. If things go wrong, you would have known nothing about me. I wanted you to know what kind of person I am, and why I did the things I did."
I was making a different decision than Noel. Noel had told Katrin and Agatha nothing.
Noel hid everything from Agatha until the very end, dying with the entire burden on his shoulders. Because of that, Agatha lived her life under a curse.
I didn't want Giselle to suffer the same fate. Even if I failed and died, I wanted her to be able to move forward.
"Am I special to you?" Giselle asked.
Seeing her so sorrowful made my hormones surge. I was tempted to surrender to the fierce temperament raging within me.
The affection between a man and a woman is a fleeting impulse. But in this moment, I wanted to believe it would last forever.
This, too, was a sign of my immaturity. I was being swayed by an intense emotion I was experiencing for the first time. Even so, I couldn't help it.
"Giselle, if you want to escape this chaos… I'll take you away from Akbaran—no, from the Empire—right now. I still don't know if you're special to me. But if there's something you want, I want to do it for you. Whatever it is. Even if it goes against my own values."
I never knew I was capable of saying such things. I used to think only fools spoke like this.
"...That’s what makes it special, Luka. I feel the same way."
Giselle smiled, a look of relief washing over her face. My eyes widened slightly as I watched her.
Giselle had done things she didn't want to do for me, time and time again. She’d show her discontent but never refused, steadfastly enduring it all.
The reason was simple. She liked me.
* * *
We—or more accurately, I—needed a good night's rest.
Noel's memories had left my mind a mess. When I tried to focus, my thoughts creaked like an ungreased machine.
Whoosh! Thud!
Occasionally, a noise would come from outside. It sounded like debris blown by the wind, thudding against the outer walls. Or perhaps it was a person. If I listened closely, I could hear sporadic gunshots in the distance.
I stared at the ceiling while lying in bed. Our wet clothes hung on the wall, dripping water drop by drop.
We'll find Heilas tomorrow.
I intended to take a direct approach. I would ask Heilas what he planned to do next. If he knew I was the Emperor's Watcher, he would surely devise a better move.
I should have considered cooperating with him much sooner. Just because he knew I was a Watcher didn't mean he would automatically antagonize or kill me. I had been needlessly afraid.
In my current state, this was the limit of my thinking. A better plan would surely come to mind after some sleep.
…Is there any hope for us?
Lying in bed, I narrowed my eyes. The red indirect lighting flickered.
Rustle.
I sensed Giselle moving. She must have been awakened by the sound of the wind. It was indeed a difficult night for sleep.
I turned my head. Lying beside me, Giselle's eyelids fluttered open. Startled, she bolted upright.
"Ah, Lu—Luka? What? Ah, ha, haha. So it wasn't a dream…"
Giselle laughed awkwardly, turning her flushed face away. She stealthily lifted the blanket to check on herself.
She let out a massive sigh and grumbled.
"...Damn it, so this is going to be our special place? Seriously, a shithole like this? A memory for a lifetime?"
"You chose it. I'll say it again, I suggested we go somewhere nicer. I had a feeling this would happen."
"What? You—you had such devious plans from the start?!" Giselle furrowed her brows.
"I'm joking. Do I look like I came prepared for this?"
Despite my words, Giselle stared at me suspiciously. Then, as if remembering something, she hurriedly averted her gaze. She must have recalled what had happened four hours ago.
"I—I don't know much about this sort of thing, but… Luka, aren't you a little too good for a first-timer? Seriously, was it really your first time?"
That was thanks to Noel's virtual simulations. Thank you, Noel.
Giselle's compliment made me as happy as if I'd won a battle. I probably shouldn't say that out loud. Comparing this to combat was truly absurd.
"Get some more sleep. We might not be able to sleep properly for the next few days."
"But this might be our first and last time."
Giselle reached out and tapped my solar plexus. Her finger traced a line down my chest, past my navel, and stopped just below.
"True."
The first time is always the hardest; the second and third come much easier.
…And so we did it twice more.
* * *
Finding Heilas's whereabouts wasn't difficult. A figure of his stature couldn't just hide away to plot something.
Heilas was holding a marathon meeting with military generals. The schedule was even posted on the Imperial Guard's internal network.
Ostensibly, it was an emergency response meeting for the Season of Storms. The real reason the meeting dragged on was so they could remain on standby, ready to respond to any situation at a moment's notice.
Even though military generals were participating, the venue was the Imperial Guard headquarters. It was clear that the Imperial Guard and Heilas were at the core of this meeting.
Beep.
I sent a message to Heilas, telling him I was on my way. He had to know already that Giselle and I had left the Custoria mansion.
He's probably waiting to see when I'll show up.
Giselle and I stopped in front of the Imperial Guard headquarters.
The rain was still pouring down relentlessly. Our clothes, still not dry from yesterday, were damp and starting to smell.
I was used to harsh environments, but it had to be torture for Giselle.
"It's been a while, Luka. And Giselle."
Iskan stood at the entrance of the headquarters, greeting us. He was one of Heilas's close aides.
Giselle seemed to know Iskan well, greeting him before I could.
"It's been a long time, Uncle."
"Ah, you've grown so much. I almost didn't recognize you."
Iskan held the door open for us. We stepped inside the building, guided by his hospitality.
Creak.
As the door closed, the roar of the heavy rain vanished. Giselle and I took off our hoods and masks, catching our breath.
"The Captain is waiting for you," Iskan said.
I watched him carefully. "Is he angry, by any chance? I did come here after disobeying his orders."
"Well, is that man the type to show it, even if he is angry?" Iskan shrugged nonchalantly.
"True enough."
We slowly made our way up to the meeting room under Iskan's guidance. Even though Giselle, a civilian, was with us, Iskan didn't say a word.
"The timing is bad, Luka," Iskan said quietly.
"I know," I replied. "I'm prepared."
The elevator stopped. When the doors opened, a quiet hallway came into view. At the end of it was a set of double doors leading into the meeting room.
I heightened my senses. Although I had lost some sleep, my condition wasn't bad. In fact, because I had spent the night rather enjoyably, my stress levels felt lower than average. I supposed I had Giselle to thank for that.
Whoosh.
As we arrived, the automatic double doors slid open.
How many are there?
The moment the doors opened, I took in the interior. My senses swept through the meeting room like a fresh coat of paint. Seventeen pairs of eyes turned toward me.
But the most important pair of eyes among them didn't belong to Heilas. Someone truly unexpected was there.
I flinched, hesitating to enter. It only lasted a fraction of a second, but experts like Heilas or Iskan would have noticed.
Ivan Cracia.
He was sitting at the head of the table, legs crossed with an air of immense confidence, a smile playing on his lips.
Whisper.
Ivan beckoned Heilas over and whispered in his ear. Heilas gave Iskan a command with his eyes…
…Shit. I tried to react, but it was too late.
Swish!
Iskan snatched the Grakken Boot from my coat and pressed its muzzle to the back of my neck. As expected of a high-ranking officer of the Imperial Guard.
I quietly raised both hands in surrender.
"Luka Custoria is my father's spy," Ivan's elegant voice echoed softly through the room. "He came to tear you all down from the inside."
The generals and high-ranking officers sat like machines, showing no surprise.
Not bad, Ivan.
I stared at him, my mind spinning as if doused in cold water.
From the moment I protected Fransek… Ivan abandoned me. He drew up a different plan.
Ivan's excitement when he agreed to my plan to kill Kinuan had been a lie.
I wasn't surprised. There was no reason to be shocked. I was used to this by now.
I wasn't even given a chance to defend myself.
"Luka, don't you dare open your mouth. Don't say a single word. Because I don't want to kill you," Iskan whispered.
He was likely sincere—both about not wanting to kill me, and about the fact that he would.