Chapter 106
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 106
I am an idiot.
I am a fool.
I am a moron.
I woke up and stared at the ceiling of my quarters, drowning in self-loathing.
The events of the previous night came rushing back. I'd been attacked by an armed helicopter at the Kartika Building. Somehow, I'd dealt with it. Ilay had killed his rival and cousin, Garcia.
And I, with Giselle...
The moment we'd parted flashed before my eyes.
What the hell did you do?
Do you really want to die?
The voices in my head clashed. I'd done something I never should have. The desire I'd suppressed time and time again had finally erupted.
I've done something I can't take back.
I'd multiplied my own risk factors, needlessly.
"Damn it."
It must have been because my emotional control had been worn thin after such a grueling battle. Ilay's useless words had rattled me too.
No. Those were just pathetic excuses.
I knew better, and still I couldn't hold back. I'd caved to my cravings. This had been bound to happen sooner or later.
I should have distanced myself from Giselle earlier. I should have avoided her face entirely.
The fact that I hadn't... meant that I, too, had wanted to see her.
Even now, my body itched with the urge to run to her this very second. To go and confirm that last night hadn't been a dream.
"You pathetic bastard."
I buried my face in my hands and let out a long sigh. The emotions that had burst loose ruled over me without mercy. I couldn't rein them in.
Now is not the time for this.
In the midst of it all, I checked a summons from Imperial Guard Captain Heilas. A notice to report to his office this afternoon.
It would be about the attack.
Since information on Iskan and me had leaked, more attacks could follow. Judging by their audacity—killing another noble in the process—the culprit was no ordinary foe.
Get a grip, Luka.
I swept my hair back and stared into the mirror.
If I want to protect the life I have now, and Giselle, I have to become a monster. A monster that can tear apart and swallow anyone who stands in my way.
Whether that be Heilas or Kinuan.
It was time to steel my resolve.
Think back to who I used to be. I had changed a great deal. I had more things I cherished now. I had things to lose.
If I lost what I cherished and loved... I might shatter so completely that I'd never rise again.
To avoid that, I had to become as strong as I'd been when I had nothing to lose. I had to become the sharp blade I once was. I had to return to my ruthless, cold-hearted self.
Keep my mind honed like a blade, my will piercing like the point of an awl.
I also needed to build physical power, and I needed people to help me. Real-world incidents and problems couldn't be solved by mind and will alone.
So these are the impurities...?
A bitter smile touched my lips.
The situation surrounding me had grown more tangled, but what I had to do was crystal clear. And now, more than ever, I wanted to become strong.
The surging drive was pushing the dark emotions aside.
* * *
Heilas and Iskan were in the office. The two of them seemed to have been talking before I entered.
I gave my verbal report on the previous night's events.
"...Only Ilay Kartika knows the armed helicopter was targeting me. Everyone else will believe it was the work of terrorists."
"You handled the situation remarkably well under such urgent circumstances. This is entirely my fault. I am deeply sorry."
It was rare for Heilas to speak like this. It showed just how far this situation had strayed from even his expectations.
The truth was, I had nearly died. If my skills had been average for a cadet, I'd be lying in a coffin at my own funeral right now.
"Have you learned who ordered the attack, and from where?"
An ordinary cadet wouldn't dare ask something so insolent. But I had earned the right to speak.
"Based on our investigation, we've narrowed the suspects down to a number we can count on our fingers."
"But nothing is certain yet, I take it."
"It will take time."
I mulled it over for a moment before speaking.
"Give me the list of suspects, and I'll investigate."
Heilas's eyes widened. Iskan, too, stared at me with a questioning look.
"You?"
"It should be possible with Kinuan's help. For whatever whimsical reason, Kinuan favors me. And he's far more knowledgeable about the underworld than we are. I believe we can trace them through his information network. It'll be easier still if I have the suspect list."
It was rare for me to invoke Kinuan's name directly. He was a dangerous, subversive figure.
The more I flaunted my connection to Kinuan, the more I'd be suspected of being a subversive element myself—raising the odds that Heilas would come to distrust me.
"It seems you're entangled with Kinuan far more deeply than I imagined."
Heilas spoke with heavy implication. But even he couldn't dream that Kinuan was the Emperor's direct Watcher.
"If I weren't, he'd have killed me long ago."
"Whatever the case... remember Rick Silva Nunez. Rick was a loyal Imperial Guardsman too, at first. So much so that Upper Command entrusted him with an undercover infiltration mission."
"I'm the one who killed that Rick. And I'm not a fool who'd throw away his own career over delusions."
After a brief deliberation, Heilas tapped the table, bringing up a hologram. The suspect list narrowed down by the Imperial Guard's investigation projected from it.
I quickly committed the names and faces to memory. In less than five seconds, the hologram vanished.
"Let me know if you need support."
I stepped out of Heilas's office. Iskan rose and followed me out.
As we walked down the hallway, Iskan spoke first. His dark red uniform swayed elegantly.
"I'm sorry, Luka."
"For what?"
"Things got complicated because of my judgment. The rational move would've been to just seize Bao Zakanan and leave."
Iskan had killed all the clients at the torture facility. That was why we'd been attacked. And yet I didn't resent his actions, nor did I think them wrong.
"If I'd been the commanding officer... I would have made the same call."
"No, you wouldn't have. You'd have made a better one. I simply failed to control my emotions."
I doubted whether I would have made a better decision at all. Especially considering what I'd done last night.
"But I believe killing those bastards was the right path for the Empire—better than letting them live. I don't know if it was the best choice, but we avoided the worst."
My voice carried conviction. Because I truly meant it.
"...You'll make a fine Imperial Guardsman."
I could feel Iskan's goodwill. But it raised a question, too.
"Thank you for the compliment, but I'm not sure what a 'good Imperial Guardsman' really means."
"One who does not lose himself."
Iskan defined it in a single phrase. A statement born from values he'd never wavered on.
"I hope to be that kind of man, too."
I agreed with him.
* * *
I contacted Kinuan. But even after a long while, there was no reply.
Normally, I would have waited for Kinuan to reach out first. Today, though, I was pressed for time. The faster this was handled, the better.
Besides, I believed there was enough of a bond between us to warrant dropping by unannounced.
Knock, knock.
I stood before Kinuan's office. No response came from inside, but when I checked, the door wasn't locked.
Hiss.
I opened it and looked in. My eyes widened.
"Instruc—"
I clamped my mouth shut instantly. Then, poking only my head out, I scanned the hallway. Fortunately, no one was around.
Kinuan's collapsed.
It wasn't an attack. If it had been, I'd have sensed it far sooner.
Kinuan's office was neatly organized. He'd collapsed right in front of the door. It seemed he'd failed in his attempt to lock it.
He's not dead.
I checked the collapsed Kinuan's condition. He wasn't dead. The organ systems of his full-body prosthetic were functioning normally.
A brain issue.
The brain dysfunction that constantly tormented him. A side effect of Akies Victima.
"Instructor, forgive me."
I hoisted Kinuan up and set him on the sofa. The formidable Kinuan lay utterly defenseless before me.
If I just move my hand...
There weren't even any surveillance devices inside the office. A powerful temptation washed over me.
Kinuan was my master and my advisor. But he was also the one who held my life in his hands. If it came to it, he wouldn't hesitate to dispose of me.
Kinuan's death.
My thoughts ran wild. If Kinuan died here, what would I gain, and what would I lose? Would the situation turn in my favor? Or would it lead straight to my execution? Would the Imperial Family entrust a mere apprentice like me to fill Kinuan's shoes?
...And was this very situation a trap, laid to test me?
I stood motionless, staring at Kinuan, who sat as if dead.
Clack.
I rifled through Kinuan's clothes. If my guess was right, it would definitely be there.
"Just as I thought..."
I, too, was proficient in Akies Victima. To use Kinuan's own term, I was a 'Mysta.' I understood its principles and properties well.
My hand caught on a drug syringe.
A stimulant.
Kinuan would have a drug synthesized in a ratio tailored to his brain's condition. Given the specialized nature of his position and duties, combat was always a possibility.
If something important came up, he'd crank his brain to active-duty levels, even at the cost of shortening his lifespan and accelerating the side effects.
Even Ken Noma, who'd been reduced to a cripple, could manage it. There's no way Kinuan can't.
I found the injection port at the back of Kinuan's head and drove the syringe in.
Plunge!
I injected only about thirty percent of the drug. That would be enough to rouse his consciousness. Anything more was unnecessary, since we weren't in a combat situation.
Flutter.
Kinuan's eyelids fluttered, blinking open and shut in rapid succession. His cybernetic prosthetic eyes spun so fast his pupils seemed to multiply.
Then, abruptly, the twitching stopped.
The spasms ceased. And then—a storm erupted.
Whoosh!
Kinuan seized my arm and yanked. Coiling himself around my body, he slipped behind my back. It was a movement I'd never seen or heard of in my life. As though he'd become a snake, he constricted my neck and limbs.
"In—Instructor, it's me."
I barely managed to wedge my hand beneath his grip to keep from being strangled. My groan finally brought Kinuan's consciousness fully to the surface.
"Ah. Luka. So it was you."
Kinuan's tone was perfectly calm. The hands and feet crushing me went slack.
So this is Kinuan's skill...
Even though I'd let my guard down, it had been an utterly bizarre movement. Faced with such an unpredictable, one-of-a-kind attack, I had barely managed to survive.
I'd been overwhelmed by nothing more than the combat reflexes ingrained into Kinuan's body. It felt as if my very common sense were shattering.
Just what kind of monster was he in his active-duty days?
I'd caught only the faintest glimpse of Kinuan in his prime. I couldn't even begin to imagine the kind of man he must have been when he was whole.
Having grasped the situation, Kinuan let out a bitter laugh.
"I suppose I'm lucky it was you, of all people, who found me. I've shown you my weakness."
"Has your condition worsened that badly?"
I said it while rubbing my limbs. They throbbed from Kinuan's assault.
"It seems I don't have much time left."
Perhaps the reason Kinuan had taken me in was precisely that lack of time. Perhaps he no longer had the luxury of choosing a successor at his leisure.
That was fortunate for me. It meant that even if I fell short, my chances of being discarded would drop.
"In any case, what brings you here? My memory's spotty, but I don't believe I summoned you. Or is this about the attack last night?"
His cognition was so sharp it was hard to believe he'd been comatose moments ago.
Admiring him inwardly, I got to the point. Naturally, Kinuan already knew I'd been attacked by an armed helicopter.
"I want to know who ordered the attack."
Kinuan's lips twitched for a fraction of a second.
Ivan Cracia had warned me of the attack beforehand. That meant the Imperial Family was well aware of how events were unfolding. With the information network of an official Watcher like Kinuan, he could name the instigator without any further investigation.
"You think I know?"
"Yes."
"And even if I do, what reason do I have to tell you?"
"...I'm going to drag Heilas down and become the Head of the Custoria Family."
I said it plainly.
At my audacious words, Kinuan fell silent. He stroked his chin for a long moment before bursting into laughter.
"So that's the answer you've arrived at."
I had no other choice. To protect everything I had, this was the only solution.