Denial (4)
Everything falls into place…
Deception? A calculated scheme? He had never sought anything of the sort—no, the thought had likely never even crossed his mind.
There had been no hidden motive, only sincerity. From the very beginning, he had never intended to join the Tembris party.
Had he truly wanted to scheme his way into their ranks, he would have manipulated events so everyone knew he was the hero behind the Alkaid Hall siege. Making a name for himself and catching the attention of Goden and the other core members would have been his utmost priority. He could have put them in his debt, or used any of a dozen other methods at his disposal.
Yet he had done none of that. Even when his choice resulted in mounting hostility from the student body, he had never wavered from his decision.
Nor was that all. Looking back, everything had been strange from the start. Hadn't it seemed bizarre even then, how he had covered for her when she was on the verge of falling out of Lady Ophelia's favor? Certainty had crystallized the moment Junon gave that answer with his own lips. It was as though his entire objective was to pass his accomplishments onto others or conceal them outright—anything to keep from standing out.
Only now did every link snap into place.
The unvarnished, undeniable truth.
He wanted nothing to do with the members of Tembris. That was the sole reason he had hidden his role in saving Erika during the surgery: to eliminate any chance of becoming entangled with them, distorting what the public learned to erase all trace of his deeds.
Why did he avoid them so desperately? That remained the only lingering question, one she could not answer. But nearly every other mystery had dissolved around him.
He was trying to put them in his debt? What an absurd notion. If anyone was indebted, it was their side. A comrade's life, her own life, and the lives of countless other students—it was a debt far, far too heavy to bear.
The thought only tangled the knots in Aris's head even tighter.
"Haaah…"
"Why have you been sighing like that all day, Aris?"
Watching Aris breathe out sighs heavy enough to sink the earth, Erika asked in genuine concern. Yet Aris could not bring herself to give voice to the reason behind that suffocating weight.
Erika…
Did she have any idea? That the man who had saved her life was the very same man they had fought so hard to keep out of the Tembris party?
Meanwhile, the members of Team Tembris—having completed everything through the Canolatl subjugation in Lemtert Village without yet forming an official party—gathered to confer.
Everyone felt the same thing during this campaign.
All of them agreed on one point: the absence of a "Center" position was their greatest flaw. It was an assessment Goden fully accepted, something he had noticed not just on this mission, but ever since their mock battles.
"I'm sorry," Michel said softly. "When I focus my fire and channel my unique magic, I simply don't have the bandwidth to track the whole field."
"My rapid-freeze magic might speed up the casting time for ice spells," Charlotte added, "but it demands just as much concentration, so I struggle too. Besides, my mana is murky, so if I slip up, things turn dangerous fast…"
"I can read enemy trajectories and spot weak points at close range," Senia noted, "but my field of vision isn't wide enough to handle variables across the entire formation. I'm a frontline melee vanguard by nature, after all."
Michel, Charlotte, and Senia all laid out their respective weaknesses, admitting they were unfit for the Center position. Goden had been filling the role temporarily, but now that Professor Muniherr had pointed out the flaw directly, the situation had changed.
"…Would it have been different if Aris or Erika were there?" Michel ventured tentatively.
"No, Michel," Senia replied. "Adding one more person wouldn't solve the core issue. The problem is that the formation itself doesn't shift."
"I agree with Senia," said Charlotte. "By design, our team is built to bring down boss-type monsters. When we're facing a single target, the Kenique 6 Formation handles it cleanly. But this time, we had to deal with a massive swarm."
"Right… I suppose you're right," Michel murmured. "In the end, we need someone who can fluidly reshape the formation on the fly…"
If a team grew too large without proper coordination, spells would collide, or individual members would end up isolated. Goden shared their conclusion: standard doctrine dictated they needed someone capable of reading the battlefield in an instant, reorganizing the line, and barking out orders.
It's not as if I don't have someone in mind for that kind of role, but…
Having Ophelia anchor their center would have been an incredible asset. Her seasoned battlefield experience, her unclouded judgment, and her iron willpower were more than enough to command an entire expedition on her own. Yet Ophelia had flatly refused, stating that she could never join their party.
'If you truly want to shatter the existing mold, Goden, it cannot be me. It has to be someone else.'
Tembris had been founded precisely to tear down the prejudices and rigid social conventions held by the academy's students—specifically, to destroy the degrading hierarchy based on combat roles. For that very reason, Lady Ophelia could not take the field with them. Nor could scions from other great noble houses of similar stature.
If they relied on Ophelia's prestige and power to achieve results, they would be nothing more than a gathering of elites. Michel, Charlotte, and Erika already made three nobles in their ranks, which meant their noble quota was practically at capacity. To align with the founding purpose of their party, the remaining slot had to belong to a commoner from the lower classes. Only then could they stand as a symbol that triumphed over role hierarchies and class discrimination.
"I just can't think of the right person for the Center," Goden mused, scratching his head. "Hmph…"
Goden had a wide network of acquaintances, but because most of the people he knew were prominent figures tied directly to the Principality, his options were ironically narrowed.
"Does anyone know someone who fits the bill? Even a recommendation would help."
"…"
A heavy silence fell over the other three.
"Hey, it's fine. We still have plenty of time. We can practice at our own pace, and the right person will turn up naturally. Let's not rush it."
The three girls remained troubled. The moment Goden asked if there was anyone suitable for Center, a single face had flashed through each of their minds. What made them hesitate was that the person in question was extraordinarily peculiar.
He would be perfect, but…
He refused so adamantly that there's no way I could ask him…
Walking up to a senior out of nowhere and demanding that would be so rude, wouldn't it…?
Senia, Michel, and Charlotte had all witnessed his capabilities with their own eyes. Yet none of them could bring themselves to speak his name aloud—even though all three were thinking of the exact same man.
"Good day, Senior Aris!"
"You're my role model, Lady Aris! I respect you so much!"
"Miss Aris, you've always been remarkable, but this time was extraordinary. Very few among the second-years—the so-called 'Golden Generation'—can boast that kind of achievement."
"Thanks to you, the academy is safe and sound, Aris. Truly, well done."
No matter where she went, Aris was greeted by an endless stream of admirers singing her praises. Countless people singled out her supposed contributions, elevating her name to the skies. On the campus bulletin boards, newspapers covering the Orthoptera defense remained posted day after day. The name Aris McKenhaim had attained a level of fame incomparable to anything she had known before.
People often said that no one disliked being praised. Aris now knew that wasn't true.
I wasn't… I wasn't the one who saved you…
It made her skin crawl. Every time those flattering words reached her ears, they felt less like compliments and more like crushing boulders heaped onto her shoulders. Those accolades did not belong to the girl who had collapsed from exhaustion; they belonged to the man everyone had mocked and derided as the weakest vanguard of Class E.
Whenever someone praised her, Aris wanted nothing more than to scream at the top of her lungs that the person who truly protected the academy was Junon.
"Aris?"
"Aris! Intercept them!!"
"Hey! Wake the hell up!"
"Ah…!"
"Forget it. I'll parry. Just keep them off Goden's flank!"
A barrage of harpy feathers rained down, conjured by the mock battle simulation. Because the projectile attack traveled at a relatively slow velocity, intercepting it should not have posed much difficulty—and that task belonged to Aris. But she had frozen up, forcing Senia to fall back and deflect the feathers with her blade.
The sudden shift fractured their formation, briefly leaving Goden to fend off three beasts at once.
Having barely managed to parry the volley and minimize the damage to the team, Senia snapped in a sharp, furious voice.
"Mock battle or not, this is combat, Aris! Pull yourself together!"
"I-I'm sorry."
"Everyone, why don't we pause for a moment?" Michel suggested gently. "Aris doesn't look well at all."
The others agreed with Michel, deciding to halt the activation of the Talbrut Ark.
"Right. I suppose I was rushing things," Goden admitted. "Jumping straight into mock battles without checking on everyone's condition first."
"I'm sorry, Aris. I didn't notice either," Michel said.
"I was so focused on practicing our formations that I didn't realize how tired you were…" Charlotte added quietly.
"Come to think of it, Aris was in command during that Orthoptera defense, wasn't she?" Goden said. "It makes sense that she wouldn't be at her best."
"…"
While Senia remained cold and silent, the rest of the team nodded in sympathetic agreement. But Aris gritted her teeth, desperate to deny their assumptions. Her body was completely fine; whatever had happened, the aftereffects of her mana exhaustion had faded days ago.
"No. Let's keep going."
Every time she heard those words of concern, two clashing memories tore through her mind. Was she in poor condition because of the Orthoptera defense? It wasn't that at all.
"I'm fine. Start up the Talbrut Ark again. Let's go."
"Aris…"
"You don't have to push yourself so hard."
"I really am fine! I'll do it right this time, so please—"
"Hah. Forget it. Goden, hand me the Talbrut Ark," Senia interrupted, marching over with brisk, haughty strides and thrusting her hand out toward Goden. "Looking at the state Aris is in, there's no way in hell we're continuing."
"Senia…"
"Either that, or we call it for today. We're not getting anything done like this anyway."
Sheathing her drawn sword, Senia kept her piercing gaze locked on Aris.
"Draw your weapon again," Aris pleaded. "I told you I'm fine."
"If those had been real magical beasts, do you have any idea what could have happened to your comrades while you stood there spacing out?"
Aris's mouth snapped shut. A vivid memory flared behind her eyes—the image of Erika with her abdomen impaled by a monster's scythe. It was an involuntary, reflexive horror.
"Are you just going to write it off because it's in the past?" Senia pressed coldly. "What if someone had been crippled right there? Would you still brush it aside as ancient history?"
"Senia, that's enough…" Michel tried to intervene, attempting to soften the venom in Senia's words, but Senia didn't budge an inch.
Aris had always clashed with Senia over differing opinions, and every single time, she had fought back without flinching. But this time was entirely different.
"I have no intention of fighting alongside someone whose mind wanders off in the middle of battle. If you can't even manage your own mental state and push yourself until you completely lose it, go deal with your baggage and then come back."
"I'll go with her," Charlotte offered softly.
"Please do, Charlotte."
The training hall door slammed shut with a heavy thud, the resulting gust of wind fluttering the strands of Aris's hair. Her lotus-pink locks danced in the draft before settling back down. Even after they stilled, she remained frozen where she stood, hands clamped over her mouth, her eyes fixed entirely on the cold floor.
Goden had handed down a firm ultimatum.
"To tell me to sort everything out and come back…"
'For once, Senia is right. Go settle whatever is eating at you, and let's meet after that. As things stand, it's going to be difficult for us to train together.'
It was supposed to be the time to regroup and practice with her teammates who had recently returned, but Aris had effectively been kicked out. She was barred from joining them until she resolved whatever inner turmoil was haunting her.
It was true that her anxieties had spiked drastically of late, and it was equally true that she had failed to concentrate. The real problem, however, was that her turmoil was not something that could be easily resolved. The root cause was tied directly to Junon, leaving her with no clear path forward.
Wondering what on earth she was supposed to do, Aris trudged along aimlessly until her feet carried her to a familiar spot. Yet for a place reached by mere wandering, it was steeped in terrible memories.
"This place…"
It was the secluded alley where she had launched an attack against Junon, attempting to warn him never to dream of joining the Tembris party. It was also the very place where Ophelia, daughter of the Grand Duke, had caught her red-handed.
"…"
She couldn't deny that the thought had crossed her mind. What if he simply appeared before her right now? Wouldn't it be a relief to lay everything bare, talk it through, and untangle this knot once and for all?
Yet she knew that was nothing more than a delusion—a desperate, childish fantasy that wished a terrible situation would magically resolve itself. Senia had once criticized her for being too emotional, for chasing pipedreams. Aris had indeed harbored naively optimistic hopes with no foundation in reality. Now was the time to look at the cold, hard truth, not cling to dreams.
Why did I even come here? Maybe I really have lost my mind.
Muttering the bitter complaint under her breath, she turned around to leave the alley.
"You…!"
As if an unseen watcher had granted her impossible wish, Junon was standing right in front of her.