End-of-Semester Evaluation (9)
The end-of-semester evaluation had been an absolute whirlwind of chaos.
A commotion erupted almost immediately as students loudly questioned why on earth the final test had taken such a bizarre shape. Meanwhile, those who had exited earlier and had no idea what had happened inside pressed for answers, only fueling the uproar. In the end, the commotion wound down with the later finishers being scoffed at, told they should have just cleared the test grounds as quickly as possible.
With the exit of the pair who had finished the final camping trial dead last, the end-of-semester evaluations for the entire first- and second-year student bodies officially came to a close.
"*Yaaawn*... You worked so hard... Junon sunbaee..."
Having rested deeply through the remaining hours after drifting off, Renias let out a wide yawn, her exhaustion still written plainly across her face.
"You worked hard too, Renias."
She had mentioned earlier that she rarely did heavy manual labor, making this the first time in her life she had ever gotten blisters. Though honestly, a few blisters were the least of it. Even if it had taken place inside the Talbrut Ark, she had stood face-to-face with sheer terror and conquered it. That alone made me realize all over again how extraordinary Renias truly was.
Meanwhile, I still don't even like remembering my own past.
Was that the caliber of resolve required to hunt down demonic beasts in pairs on the front lines? Looking at her, I couldn't help but feel I still had a remarkably long way to go.
Renias retrieved her staff and school uniform, which she had checked outside before the exam, rubbing her drowsy, half-awake eyes as she spoke. "Sunbaee... I'm so tired... May I go rest first...?"
To look at her, one might have thought she had just returned from hard labor in a penal colony. Caught up in the middle of the trial, I hadn't realized it, but seeing her now, all of her initial vibrant energy was thoroughly drowned in fatigue.
"...Don't trip on your way back. Get home safe."
"Ehehe. You helped me so much, so I'll treat you to a meal next time. See you later, sunbaee..."
Well, I doubted our paths would cross much from here on out... I felt a twinge of guilt about having used her back at the banquet hall, but she was bound to find out eventually anyway, so it should be fine, right?
Before long, Renias was escorted away by arriving servants. She flashed me one final bright smile, waved with every ounce of strength left in her, and climbed into her carriage.
Now, that leaves just one...
Sylvia Coutelli, whom I had carried out on my own back during the exam. She was the only one left. She seemed to have exchanged a few words with Renias, but she and I had barely spoken at all. Sensing that too many eyes might be watching, I decided it would be better to deal with it later and turned toward the dormitories. But the moment I moved, I had to stop in my tracks.
"Hm?"
"..."
What now? Why was she gripping just the very edge of my sleeve with her fingertips, like a timid child too scared to speak up? Don't tell me... she wanted to pick up where we left off earlier?
"We... aren't done talking yet."
Ah. Why did that kind of hunch always hit the mark?
Meeting at a café or sitting on an open bench where students frequently passed by was completely out of the question. To hold a conversation between such an absurd combination of people—the primary perpetrator and the victim of the noble faction's position troubles—booking a private room was the only viable option. Yet, seated across from each other with a table between them, neither had managed to string together a single sentence for ten solid minutes.
"......"
Look, if you insisted on coming here, at least say something. What was the point of sitting there in total silence?
"Um..."
Oh. Good, so she was finally going to say something! Fine, let's hear what she had on her mind.
"Go ahead. I'm listening."
"Well... could you... wait just a little longer?"
...What on earth? Ten minutes of thinking wasn't enough, and now she needed more?
It doesn't seem like she brought me here to talk nonsense, but... good grief.
Junon had figured out why she grabbed his sleeve almost immediately. It was obvious Sylvia had unfinished business to discuss. On top of that, he still had unresolved questions about the way she had behaved, and Sylvia was bound to be curious about his remarks as well. Since both harbored unanswered questions, settling them cleanly felt like the right move, which was why he had agreed to talk. Even if all of this had stemmed from some misunderstanding, it was best to avoid lingering trouble.
Having spent the entire day running and strategizing during the evaluation, he had simply wanted a moment to rest back then, brushing her off with comments about her disheveled clothes. But now was the time to have a proper conversation.
Which is why I deliberately got a private room, but...
Every single time their eyes met, her head immediately plunged down. Did she actually intend to speak or not? This wasn't going to work. At this rate, the conversation would never even get off the ground. Junon decided it would be better for him to break the ice first.
"There's only one reason I thought your behavior was strange. As time went on, fewer and fewer wounds were left on my body."
As Junon took the initiative, Sylvia, who had been fidgeting nervously and unable to speak, perked up and listened intently.
"It felt completely unnatural. If someone truly wants to torment another person, they usually gang up with others. But you always confronted me one-on-one, almost as if you were trying to make sure I wouldn't get seriously hurt."
"..."
Junon's words hit the nail on the head. Inside Sylvia's heart, doubt had gnawed at her day after day, wondering whether what she was doing was right. A firm resolve finally took root within her.
Yes... I have to be honest too.
She knew perfectly well she had no right. She knew clearly that she shouldn't act like this out of nowhere. She understood that she shouldn't make this kind of request of someone she had bullied all this time, yet back then, she had felt compelled to grab Junon's sleeve anyway. But now, she could finally speak without looking away.
"Junon, I... wanted to start by saying I'm sorry."
She was confessing that, terrified of losing what little she had, she had tried to sacrifice someone else.
Sylvia Coutelli.
A daughter of Count Coutelli's house, a powerful noble family holding real authority within the Principality. That very Sylvia had something she desperately needed to say to me, and it was that single word of apology.
She explained that there had been a tacit scheme among the nobility to incite position troubles in order to elevate their own prestige and the status of certain roles. Caught between her noble blood and her status as an illegitimate child, she had taken part. When I asked why she hadn't refused even while knowing it was wrong, Sylvia answered that she couldn't bear to lose what she currently had.
At first, that answer had seemed somewhat difficult to grasp, but factoring in that she was an illegitimate child of the count's household made everything fall into place. She lived in a lavish estate, yet due to her mother's humble origin and her own birth, she was ostracized—an illegitimate child primed to be used and discarded at a moment's notice. Considering how excommunicated nobles were treated, she must have been truly desperate.
Clinging to the sole lifeline of her noble status, she had struggled desperately to prove her worth from the precarious position of an illegitimate child. That was why she couldn't refuse, despite knowing it was wrong, choosing instead to curry favor with other nobles to carve out a place for herself. Terrified of being cast out, she must have walked on eggshells around the count every single day. I wouldn't be surprised if she had been warned repeatedly to watch her step and make herself useful.
...I can understand that.
Because once upon a time, I had been the exact same way. When everyone pointed fingers at me in Tembris, calling me a burden, my comrades told me it was fine—yet my own heart was never at ease. Even though no one blamed me, I felt hunted, obsessively honing new magic and searching for solutions until people asked why I was pushing myself so hard. I had wanted desperately to mobilize every ounce of strength I possessed to be of use to the Tembris Party. I hadn't wanted to cause psychological strain by showing my panic, but I couldn't bear the thought of being dragged along like dead weight either.
What terrified me most of all was the thought that I might one day be abandoned. The people beside me were the only pillars I had to lean on, and I had been plagued by the constant dread that if I lost them, everything would be over.
Sylvia must have been trapped in a similar vice. The stigma of being an illegitimate child that haunted her in the count's house. The need to prove her utility to the count so she wouldn't be thrown away. The demands of noble peers and professors she had to accommodate, knowing full well it was wrong, just to strip away that bastard label. Even walking a razor-thin tightrope, she had wanted above all else to avoid ending up completely alone.
And now, having lost everything she once held, she sat before me as an ordinary female student with nowhere left to turn and not a single soul on her side. Just like the old me.
"...I didn't say this expecting your forgiveness. Still... even if it sounds like an ugly excuse, I truly, sincerely wanted to bow my head to you."
Her complexion was awful, worn ragged from the grueling trial and the frantic search for me. Yet with that exhausted, pale face, she lowered her head and begged for my forgiveness. A clean, unreserved confession of apology without a single shred of spite left in it. Seeing that right before my eyes, how could my heart not be moved?
Even if our situations weren't identical, it wasn't a feeling I couldn't understand.
"What kind of broken, messed-up family is that?"
"..."
"You went through a lot yourself."
The moment those words left my mouth, tears spilled from Sylvia's eyes like an unleashed waterfall, and she began to sob out loud. Whether it was the explosion of all the sorrow she had bottled up inside, or the sheer loneliness of having never had a single person take her side until now, I couldn't say for sure. But it had certainly influenced the abnormal signs Sylvia had shown before my regression. It must have become a crushing burden, leaving scars more painful than any physical wound, until she finally broke. I was just glad that this time, things hadn't ended that way.
"*Hic*...! I... I was... all this time... *waaaah*...!!"
I sat there, listening to her pour out her tearful, snot-streaked confession. The emotions that had once been pushed to distant horizons had tangled and collided across her precarious tightrope, finally cascading downward in tears. The loneliness of having no one who understood her plight. The bitter guilt of knowing she was committing wrongful acts. The suffocating certainty that no one around her would ever offer a helping hand, leaving anxiety as her only companion instead of friends or comrades.
Having experienced that loneliness, guilt, and anxiety firsthand, I could say with certainty: Sylvia was never meant to be a villain who ruined the lower classes. If only she hadn't been burdened by that noble status, she never would have committed misdeeds while knowing they were wrong. It was all a failure of her environment and upbringing.
Under the extreme stress and rigid expectations imposed by the count's house, Sylvia had gradually lost her emotions. Wearing the same blank face, offering uniform answers, and carrying out mechanical actions day after day, there was no room for anything new to exist. Had she not been thrust into the circumstances of an illegitimate child of a count, she probably would have been just a little shy, nothing more. A few friends would have approached that timid girl, helping her blossom with laughter and awakening her social grace. She would have grown up normally, enjoying a rich academy life full of chatter, with piles of social invitations arriving at her door.
People would have fallen for her gentle, lamb-like charm—shy and reserved, but stunning whenever she smiled. Of course, even on such a flower-lined path, Sylvia would have made mistakes. And realizing her fault, she would have bowed her head just like this, sniffling as she discovered yet another unfamiliar emotion. Seeing her at a loss due to her timid nature, friends would have gathered around to offer kind explanations. Forgiving her very first mistake with open arms, wouldn't they have seen this exact side of her? Pouring out tears, nursing a heart that ached with guilt for the first time.
"I'm so sorry... I'm... so, so sorry..."
Spilling apologies just like she was now, drying her tears amidst friends who gently comforted her—that was the kind of scene that truly belonged to Sylvia. And so, I waited patiently until her crying finally subsided.
Today was the day a girl who had reclaimed her withered emotions wept her heart out, finally taking back the soul once bound in chains by the count's house.