The Scent of Strawberries
I was unusually fond of the number one. The day I found out I’d been placed in class 1-1, I was so excited I could barely sleep. I’d dreamed of starting school until it made me sick, and on the morning after the entrance ceremony—my first official day—I woke up at five without anyone having to drag me out of bed.
I pestered my still-sleepy mother to braid my hair, ate a simple piece of toast for breakfast, and put on my favorite white blouse with the denim overall skirt I treasured. I even pulled out the lace-trimmed socks and slipped them on, completing my perfect school look. My heart raced so fast as I smiled at my reflection in the mirror.
What kind of partner would I get? I wished I could hurry up and become a second-grader so I could have underclassmen.
Raised as an only child, I liked the idea of younger siblings more than older ones. Besides, the words “little sibling” and “underclassman” had completely different feelings to them. Just imagining a first-year underclassman bowing politely to me made the corners of my mouth twitch upward.
“We’re here, my little princess. Time to get out. Mom will open the door for you, so wait just a second.”
Before stepping out of Mom’s car, I gave my hair one last check. Double pigtails—check. Sky-blue ribbon—check. I flashed a double thumbs-up and hopped out of the car with a bounce.
“Be careful. What if you fall?”
“Okay!”
I can still picture that day as clearly as if it were yesterday—the gentle smile on Mom’s face. The warm feeling of walking hand-in-hand with her through the crowd of parents at the school gate, chatting softly. I was asking when it would be Mom’s turn while staring at the ladies wearing the green mothers’ association vests.
“Yeong-ju.”
“Oh, Su-young.”
The woman who stepped out of a white sedan waved. Mom waved back. Just like we’d already discussed, they greeted each other naturally.
“New car? It’s pretty.”
“My husband said to use it when taking Jun-jae to school…”
“Your husband really is such a devoted man. I’m so jealous I could die.”
Somehow, a tender friendship had blossomed between Su-young and Mom in just a few days. I, on the other hand, was pouting with my lips pushed out because we were running late for the set arrival time.
“Oh, right. Jun-jae.”
Su-young finally noticed my pout and hurriedly opened the back door.
“Get out, Jun-jae.”
He had no intention of moving until his mother told him to. I decided right then that Cha Jun-jae was deep in his prince complex phase.
“Jun-jae’s coat is so pretty.”
Mom, who tried to buy every pretty outfit she saw for me, eyed it with envy. That usually meant another new pretty dress for me, but this time was different.
Glossy black sneakers stepped onto the sidewalk. According to Su-young, the brown coat and jeans the boy wore were American luxury brands.
“Jun-jae. Remember what Mom told you yesterday? If you don’t know something, ask the smart girl right here—Eun-dam.”
“That’s right. Our Eun-dam is pretty clever.”
Mom, who had been swallowing hard at the mention of American brands, puffed up with pride again at the praise for her child. But the shoulders of the one actually being praised slumped in disappointment. The thorn that had already taken root in me began to prick. Cha Jun-jae, who listened to his mother with eerie obedience, stuck to my side like a tag.
“I’ll be going now.”
I became a foal with fire under its tail. The leisurely spring-scented walk to school was officially impossible. This was a frantic chase with no time to breathe. Whenever I glanced back in alarm, there was Cha Jun-jae right behind me with an expressionless face. It was as if he’d attached a magnet to my bag—he followed me with those little trotting steps. The way he stared with wide, unblinking eyes made me want to collapse and cry.
What if that kid follows me around like a leech every single day? I bounded up the school stairs and spotted the first-grade classroom I’d visited with my parents. The thought of dragging Cha Jun-jae around with me until the end of the school year made everything go dark before my eyes.
“Welcome.”
But my childish worries melted away like snow the moment I faced the homeroom teacher. The beautiful woman I’d seen on entrance ceremony day was standing at the front of the class.
“Sit wherever you like.”
I was going to become class president and win the teacher’s favor. Burning with adorable ambition, I took the desk in the very front row. Everyone knows the closer you are to the teacher and the blackboard, the better. I wanted to look different from the other kids who were frozen stiff with nerves. I straightened my posture properly and hung my bag on the hook.
“Hm? Why are you standing there? Come in.”
Unfortunately, the teacher’s kind gaze wasn’t directed at me. The main character was Cha Jun-jae, standing quietly at the classroom door. Like the sensitive girl I was, I clapped both hands over my mouth. It was only natural that I felt anxious. Cha Jun-jae wasn’t just standing there. He was rolling his eyes, searching for me.
“This is class 1-1. Did you find the right room?”
On the first day, many younger students got lost and ended up in the wrong class. But Cha Jun-jae had found exactly the right one. Without answering, he scanned each child one by one until his gaze stopped dead on me.
Don’t… Don’t come over here.
I prayed desperately in my heart, but once he spotted me, Cha Jun-jae’s steps didn’t hesitate. Clutching the black strap of his bag tightly, his sneakers crossed the threshold of the classroom.
With a scrape, the chair he dragged out was unmistakably the one right next to mine. Without even hanging up his bag, he set it on the desk and plopped down carelessly. We were partners. I had traded my strawberry-scented partner for Cha Jun-jae. The candy in the front pocket of my bag definitely wasn’t brought for him.
Soon, as the empty seats filled one by one, the teacher stood up and introduced herself. It was a warm greeting suited to a child’s eye level, but since my partner was such a disappointment, my nose turned red and I barely mumbled a response.
That was one of my flaws. Once something went wrong, I couldn’t see anything else and would give up halfway. My narrow-minded view, which couldn’t tolerate even the smallest flaw, only saw the things Cha Jun-jae had stolen from me and the things he would steal in the future.
If only I had overlooked that tiny misalignment, maybe I could have easily accepted everything that happened afterward.
But since what’s already done can’t be changed, I simply hate the cause of it all with a burning passion.
“Song Eun-dam. Hey.”
“Yes?”
“Stop drinking so much. You’re going at it like you’re determined to drink up the entire adults’ share.”
I counted the empty beer bottles I’d downed while listening to the adults chatter. Roughly seven bottles. A sigh escaped me. It was now confirmed that I’d have to walk my bike home. After midnight, the drunkards would spill out onto the night streets. The smart move was to leave before then.
“Mom, Dad. I’m going to head back to my accommodation. I’m tired…”
“Where do you think you’re going at this hour?”
“It’s fine. There are still lots of people out.”
But Mom grabbed my wrist as I tried to escape and pulled me back down.
“Do you think your mom and dad are that careless? We rented the biggest accommodation—it has plenty of rooms. Go sleep there. Where does a drunk girl think she’s going?”
Mom’s hard work in searching blogs to find a seven-person villa was finally paying off. Her true intention was clearly to keep her daughter’s feet tied down at the resort, but drunk as I was, I was happy to be caught. Walking a bike while stumbling around wasn’t exactly easy.
“Which room number?”
“Here, take the key.”
Now that things were going their way, Mom and Dad were beaming. The way my stomach churned at their laughter told me I was on the verge of getting completely smashed. I walked slowly across the sandy beach and left the restaurant. I exhaled alcohol-scented breath as I entered the resort, which was practically right next door.
The feeling of willingly walking into the trap my parents had prepared on my own two feet was incredible. Feeling the sand between my toes in my slippers, I stepped inside the resort. I staggered along the winding path lined with lush green grass and palm trees that looked perfect for collapsing on. I’d heard there was a swimming pool outside the resort. I stared blankly at the white-lit steps leading to the pool before moving my feet again.
Korean man A, drunk, drowns in overseas swimming pool.
I didn’t want to make that kind of ridiculous headline, but instinctively, I was drawn to places with water.
Maybe I wanted to drown the thorn that had finished growing inside me.