Chapter 75: Performance Review—Self-Evaluation Version
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 75: Performance Review—Self-Evaluation Version
You only had to watch a few episodes of their self-produced content to realize that Kim I-wol had a... unique personality.
『"You forgot to put on sunscreen? How do you plan on atoning for this sin?"』
『"Who's the one who read the notice but didn't leave a confirmation emoji? Do it one more time, and I'll tape the notice to the back of your head."』
『"When you take selfies, do it with the mindset that you'll get one good shot for every two hundred you take. Don't just slack off with three or four shots just because you trust your face."』
To put it nicely, Kim I-wol was a thorough, consummate professional idol.
Among fans, he was already being recognized as a man who embodied the very virtues of a living idol, a man who understood the fans' hearts all too well, and the man who kept the group's discipline tight.
At the same time... to put it strangely, he felt like someone suspiciously living his second life.
Even right now.
『"Hyung, the comments say you're handsome!"』
『"Huh? Oh... uh... th-thank you."』
In moments like this, he was undeniably a rookie idol who had just debuted.
『"You want to try making a Goldberg machine? I actually have a blueprint I drew for practice... should I send it to you via email?"』
『"I'll ask separately if I can open a shared drive at the company. If not, I'll try setting up a Dotion page."』
But then he had a knack for immediately catching people off guard.
To those who were office workers, Kim I-wol's remarks seemed even more bizarre.
≫ A male idol who knows Dotion... that's a truly cursed sentence lol
It feels like... a highly competent agency? Something like that.
└ That analogy is making me cry.
≫ Spark's I-wol is hilarious in a different way.
When asked to say a word to the members, he said, "Since interest rates have gone up, you guys should each open a savings account." Hahaha.
Until he was tying the kids' ties, he seemed like a mature oldest hyung, but now he just sounds like a nagging student dean.
└ But I actually opened a savings account after hearing that. Tier 1 bank interest rates are over 5% now.
└ That's what you call a positive influence.
└ "Positive influence," my ass, lmao.
Baek Hae-won couldn't understand everything being said, but she knew one thing for sure.
As she searched Kim I-wol's name on social media and monitored the reactions to Spark...
She had officially stanned a brand-new rookie group that had only released a single mini-album.
Two weeks since Spark's debut.
And the night of approximately the second week of the first year of Kim I-wol's forced contract with the System.
I sat there clicking through Spark's content, clicking a ballpoint pen that looked sad with its broken clip.
And I thought to myself.
'...Not bad.'
Judging by the reactions so far, it looked like they would easily surpass the debut results and mention counts of the original Spark from the past.
The online communities were the same.
While they didn't have their own dedicated board yet, new posts mentioning Spark popped up on the idol boards every day.
They seemed to be consumed as "The 8-Star Cider Idols who provide a refreshing carbonated kick to the flashy idol scene."
'Carbonated kick, huh.'
I shifted my gaze to the laptop screen I had paused. Choi Je-ho's face, smiling like a cheerful lad, filled the screen.
To think the day would come when this guy would smile like that.
The rarity of Choi Je-ho's smile was famous among the old Spark fandom.
He might have smiled on stage to fit a concept, but...
Since Spark had unfortunately only done terrible concepts, Choi Je-ho's smiling face had only earned him "honorable" titles like "The King of Fishy Smirks" or "The Second Lead Who Is Definitely Plotting Something."
But things were different now.
The Choi Je-ho on screen was smiling so brightly you wouldn't even know whose center he was, all while pulling off that difficult choreography perfectly.
Is this really the same Choi Je-ho who used to have 0.5 dead fish eyes?
The view is better than the peaks of Geumgang Mountain. Seeing him stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the "Top 10 Sights of the Idol World" that Kim I-wol personally picked—I like it very much.
And it wasn't just Choi Je-ho who had improved. The others had shown remarkable growth as well.
Park Ju-woo was finding the cameras perfectly despite the rapid cuts, and Lee Cheong-hyeon, with his subtle makeup, highlighted all his features, proving once and for all that the ultimate form of tuning is the original factory setting.
It might be a stretch, but perhaps because all the members were pulling their weight, Jeong Seong-bin seemed much more comfortable handling his parts than before.
Above all, it was moving to see Kang Gi-yeon finally able to show off his full dancing ability in front of the camera.
It was the moment all that nagging finally paid off. That's right, you punks. See how much better things are when you listen?
Unable to contain my swelling heart, I found myself rewatching the music video and stage performances as if possessed.
Since they were talented guys, their skills went without saying.
Thanks to the balanced meals I made them eat, they looked healthy and vibrant, and seeing them work hard until they were drenched in sweat while keeping those bright smiles was actually quite sweet...
Wait.
What am I thinking right now?
Did I already forget what kind of guys they are?
Department Head Nam was the one who created the unnecessary overtime, but these guys were the ones who doubled that overtime.
Did they think a mere year together would dissolve my resentment?
I shook my head violently, imagining I was clearing the stray thoughts from my brain. Then, I refocused on the monitoring.
In a company, there are departments that make money, and there are departments that only spend it.
If I had to pick a representative example, it would be the HR team.
True to the term "back office," our team's work was rarely visible on the surface.
My work was the same. The only time my output was actually visible to the eye was on recruitment posters.
Maybe that's why.
Seeing my ideas, at the locations I scouted, completed exactly as I intended... it was a strange feeling.
And that wasn't the only bizarre phenomenon.
≫ Just dipping my toes into the new UA boy group.
Lately, everyone's coming out with "strong" songs + their teasers looked like a dark movie? So I thought, "Oh, another similar group," but...
They came out so refreshing and pure that I was shocked lol. It was unexpected.
But I think it actually makes them stand out more.
If they came out with a conceptual look, they would've been buried by Blaze.
└ If you're gonna do viral marketing, at least make it less obvious lol.
└ Who would pay for viral marketing this lazy? hahahaha Ridiculous.
≫ Is this styling for a debut stage for real?
Usually, when a group just debuts, the makeup hasn't settled yet, so even if they try to look sophisticated, it still looks a bit tacky. But these guys don't have that.
You can tell the staff poured their souls into this.
└ For real... They wore school uniforms, tracksuits, jumpsuits, school looks—not a single outfit was bad.
≫ A rookie idol with insanely stable live vocals.gif
It's Spark.
They just debuted, but their live is so solid in every performance!
Even just hearing them sing briefly in their self-produced content, they all seem like good singers.
└ Who can't do live with an AR track playing? lol.
└ Isn't this good enough? Just looking at other groups that debuted around the same time, their live stability fluctuates like crazy.
Perhaps it was because their recognition wasn't high yet, but aside from the typical troll comments, there were almost no negative reviews about the group Spark.
Of course, that styling didn't come for free. It was obtained through a collection of outfit references I made while crying tears of blood.
Even so...
'I feel weird.'
I have never once failed to put in the effort to create a better result.
Whether at Hanpyeong Industry or at part-time jobs, I worked hard because I was being paid and felt I had to earn my keep.
The reason I worked harder for Spark than what the System required was the same.
To compensate as much as possible for the image damage the team would suffer due to my eventual withdrawal.
So, all of this was just the minimum courtesy I owed for what I had received.
'Assistant Manager Kim, being too inflexible is also a problem. Don't you want a social life? Do you plan on working at this company all by yourself?'
'Assistant Manager Kim, you think you're really good at your job, don't you? Don't be deluded. Do you think you could adapt anywhere else if it wasn't for this place?'
≫ A competent agency + the kids are the best.
They just debuted, but even in their self-produced content, they matched the debut album concept with captions + member introductions.
I also love how they bring out props from the music video in chronological order for each stage.
It feels like they pay attention to even the smallest details.
You can see the members put real effort into their photocards too... Seeing stuff like this makes me think mid-tier idols often have better quality than big companies.
└ It's a mini-album, but besides the photocards, the inclusions like student IDs + group lottery papers + class schedules, etc., are so full. You can tell they prepared with sincerity. They put a lot of thought into it.
The fact that the words I heard at Hanpyeong Industry and the words I was hearing outside of it were slightly different felt foreign to me.
I hoped the System would verify my KPI achievement as soon as possible.
So that this sense of dissonance wouldn't last long.
While there were schedules focused on performances like music shows, there were many that weren't.
"Visual Radio" was one of them.
Visual Radio, which broadcasts the radio studio live via video, became popularized starting with channels that invited idols as guests.
Spark's scheduled appearance today was also for a Visual Radio show.
≫ 2X1023 Visual Radio Screencaps
Photo 1
Photo 2
Photo 3
.
.
.
It's a shame I can't see their faces at all because of the ball caps, but I'll endure it since I get to see the kids for an hour... lol
(Source: SNS)
And I had experience capturing those Visual Radio screenshots until my fingers nearly broke.
I can't tell you how angry I got while transcribing because all five of them came out wearing brimmed hats.
If they were going to cover their entire faces, they should have at least dressed differently. These guys, as if they had planned it, insisted on black hats and black clothes.
Ah, I actually found out recently why they always wore that "shadow look."
『"You're asking if we have too many black clothes in our closet?"』
『"We only go back and forth between the dorm and the practice room anyway, so we didn't feel the need to care about what we bought."』
My roommates told me.
That's right.
For these guys, as long as the clothes were comfortable for practice and didn't show dirt when they rolled around on the floor, everything was okay.
Are you guys office workers with a dress code? Why only solid colors?
If I had known this sooner, I would have made their practice tracksuits rainbow-colored instead of black.
But there's no use regretting the past.
Instead, from now on, I made sure no one could wear a hat when going on Visual Radio. Unless there was a legitimate reason (like preventing spoilers for a new hair color).
And so that anyone—whether a first-timer or an existing fan—could distinguish the members just by glancing at the video or a screenshot...
"Do we really have to wear this?"
"If you don't want to, you can write your name on your forehead instead."
"..."
We decided to all wear name headbands made with glitter. Hand-crafted, no less, in collaboration with the dexterous Lee Cheong-hyeon.
I said to Choi Je-ho, who was holding the headband with a look of utter reluctance.
"Don't worry. We checked last time to make sure no one had an allergic reaction."
"Forget it..."
Choi Je-ho sighed as he looked at his burgundy headband.
Got a problem? If you've got a problem, then become successful enough that people know your name just by looking at your face.
And so, the six members of the rookie idol group Spark entered the radio booth with solemn expressions, each wearing a sparkling glitter name headband.