Chapter 7: Boomer System (6)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 7: Boomer System (6)
They say dawn comes even if you wring the neck of a diploma.
The morning arrived, findng me stripped of both my family home and my degree. It was a remarkably sunny morning, too.
“It’s over.”
“What is?”
“Everything.”
“Hyung, are you okay?”
Lee Cheong-hyeon, who had watched my turbulent emotional shifts from the top bunk last night, asked.
I wanted to tell him that I was very much not okay. Because I really wasn't.
But I couldn't. A person who ruins the organizational atmosphere with their personal feelings is the absolute worst.
Besides, Lee Cheong-hyeon was the one who had lent his composing laptop to a frantic me last night.
If I were a proper adult, I had to distinguish between those who deserved my anger and those who didn't.
I forced myself to say I was fine while wiping my face, only to find my skin feeling remarkably moist. It seemed Lee Cheong-hyeon had slapped a sheet mask on my face last night.
Fuck, he’s even more beautiful because he’s so diligent. If he keeps this up, he’ll have no choice but to be number one in photocard market prices.
Still, after a night of agonizing and denying reality about 230,000 times, I managed to reach a state of enlightenment.
I will debut, no matter what.
That is how I will wash away this disgrace.
And find a way to make a living.
To do that, I must master the basic choreography from start to finish this very day.
From now on, it’s nothing but the debut.
I made a firm resolve.
A short while later.
They say a school dog can recite poetry after three years, and an idol can make a comeback in three months. I, too, was able to achieve remarkable results in just three days.
Approximately 30 hours of official practice, excluding breaks.
An additional 4 hours of individual practice.
Plus, intensive training from five private instructors.
After 34 total hours of receiving immense help and dedicating myself to memorizing the choreography, I was finally able to perform the four-minute routine without a single mistake—even if my form bore a striking resemblance to the New Millennium Gymnastics.
As expected, nothing is impossible when you channel the sheer spite of a new recruit.
Though the light in my eyes was probably dead.
+
[SYSTEM] ‘Quest’ completed.
▷ Reward: Experience Points (20) granted
▷ Cumulative Experience: 80
▷ Cumulative Points: 0
+
By succeeding in mastering the choreography for one song, I also gathered points.
‘Just you wait. One more point and I’m hitting Dance Proficiency level 3.’
After falling into hell once, nothing remained in my heart but spite and grit.
Humans are destined to find hidden abilities in extreme situations.
I realized my own potential back when Department Head Nam forgot about a report and told me to write and submit it within four hours.
I never thought my past experiences would give me courage in a place like this.
‘No matter what comes next... I’ll do it even if it kills me.’
I steeled my resolve grimly.
But fuck, it wasn't just dance; I had to practice singing too.
Being a K-trainee is brutal.
Since ancient times, it has been said that humans are creatures of habit.
I was no different.
In just a few days, I had reached a level where I could enjoy a meal among these noble faces—who were praised for having no "visual holes" since debut—without once acting like a starstruck fan.
I was even savoring the flavor of the sauce on some slightly soggy chewy cold noodles.
Enjoying chewy cold noodles since morning amidst these glittering faces... I have quite the iron heart.
The sight of boys with bedhead huddling together on the practice room floor to eat snacks reminded me of my school days.
Except for the fact that no one had faces like these back then.
If you were to divide idol types into the "approachable" and "unapproachable" categories, Spark was clearly the latter.
Eighty percent of the reason for that stemmed from their faces.
Recent idol groups shared a common trend of gathering members with different types of looks into one group.
In a market where "at least one of these should be your type," the visual goal of entertainment agencies had evolved into creating a group that made people ask, "How did they gather kids like this in one place?"
However, UA was brave because they were ignorant.
A sharp, cold handsome guy? → Handsome.
What if there are many handsome members? → Good.
Did they schematize it like that? Or did UA just prefer cold visuals?
UA had turned Spark into a group that was "good because it had many sharp, cold visuals."
In other words, it meant the ultimate ice-cold men had gathered in one group.
First, there was the undisputed visual of Spark, Lee Cheong-hyeon, who looked like he was born at the dawn of creation.
One could believe his face was washed only with water brought from the Heaven Lake of Mount Paektu; there wasn't a single blemish on it.
If Lee Cheong-hyeon had a clear face touched by a cool breeze like an autumn morning sky, his same-age friend Kang Gi-yeon’s face had a freezing wind howling through it.
He looked like he could easily down a bottle of tequila in the middle of a blizzard... No. That was an inappropriate metaphor for a freshman entering high school next month.
With a look that suggested he could down a bottle of hot ginger tea without any honey in one go, Kang Gi-yeon boasted a visual that made it hard to believe he was the team's youngest.
The situation for the middle line, who were a year older than Lee Cheong-hyeon and Kang Gi-yeon, wasn't much different.
The main vocal, Park Ju-woo, was nicknamed the "Human Dawn Mountain Mist."
In the past, I didn't think this nickname suited Park Ju-woo very well. This was because about 80% of the expressions I saw from him during monitoring were blank-looking faces.
However, after seeing Park Ju-woo in person, I was able to accept the nickname immediately.
Park Ju-woo’s bare face was so pale it was almost white; he had a visual that wouldn't look out of place even if he appeared in the mountains at dawn wearing a mountain spirit’s hanbok.
The leader, Jeong Seong-bin, was in slightly better shape.
Unlike Lee Cheong-hyeon, whose appearance seemed so detached from the secular world that his smiles were often interpreted as cynical, Jeong Seong-bin’s smile was an idol smile through and through.
≫ Honestly, isn't Jeong Seong-bin a warm visual?
Look at that smiling face, how is he not a warm visual?
└ (Insert photo of Jeong Seong-bin sandwiched between warm visuals)
└ Yeah, my baby isn't a warm visual. I guess I was wearing rose-colored glasses.
Even though Jeong Seong-bin would be called a definitive cold visual anywhere else.
The fans' efforts to push Jeong Seong-bin—whose eyebrows were even one degree lower than the other members—into the warm visual category were so desperate that even I, a third party, couldn't watch without tearing up.
Of course, I didn't actually cry. I just had dry eye syndrome from looking at monitors too much.
Finally, there was Choi Je-ho, the representative center of Spark and the one most guilty of capturing Department Head Nam’s daughter’s heart.
This guy... looked like he was born in the Arctic.
His features practically screamed "I am not an easy person" in 13pt Batang font; he had a face you simply wouldn't want to run into outside.
Indeed, his aura was influential enough that it was only natural he contributed to about two hundred of the eight hundred times I had accessed the Ministry of Employment and Labor’s report page.
If it weren't for him, my average monthly overtime would have been reduced by at least 20 hours.
Every single one of them was a formidable character.
And I was squeezed in among them.
I recalled my own face reflected in the mirror this morning.
No matter how I looked at it, it was the face of an ordinary 20-something who was slightly less worn down by society.
‘Is there no such thing as Appearance Proficiency?’
It felt like the things I actually needed were missing, while only useless things were present.
The system didn't seem to know how important looks were for an idol. It was basically saying I was a disposable card once I debuted.
Perhaps I was contemplating the meaning of my existence too seriously, because Lee Cheong-hyeon, who had been watching me, asked.
“Hyung, are the chewy cold noodles not good? Should I trade with you?”
“No. I was just thinking about something else.”
“What were you thinking about?”
“Thinking that... I’m already a lost cause.”
“What are you talking about in the middle of a meal?”
With that, Lee Cheong-hyeon focused back on his food. It was a morning full of worries. Though no one would understand me.
If the dance class was somewhere between chaos, destruction, and despair, the vocal class was in better shape.
This was because there was no disaster requiring me to perform the Dance of the Joyous Wooden Doll.
Instead, I had to do my best to hide the soul of a tragic office worker who used to sing with a spoon stuck in a soju bottle.
“Iwol, can you try to relax your body a bit more when you sing?”
“Yes, I’ll be careful.”
“Don't be nervous, let's try singing. Your voice isn't bad.”
If I didn't stay tense, a medley of Department Head Nam’s favorite songs would come out, so I had to be careful. I was quite the trot singer, after all.
Still, to meet the teacher's expectations, I clenched my fists and did my best to sing as instructed.
+
[SYSTEM] ‘Quest’ completed.
▷ Reward: Experience Points (20) granted
▷ Cumulative Experience: 100
▷ Cumulative Points: 1
+
Thanks to that, I also gained experience for completing my first vocal lesson.
Unfortunately, since I couldn't increase my Appearance Proficiency, I invested the 1 newly earned Welfare Point into Dance Proficiency. I guess being handsome really is a gift from the heavens.
+
Performance Evaluation (100)
— Vocal Proficiency: 4/20
— Dance Proficiency: 3(▲)/20
— Self PR: 12/20
— Attendance Management: 18/20
— Organizational Adaptability: 10/20
Cumulative Experience: 0
Cumulative Points: 0
+
Seeing my proficiency grow slowly but steadily didn't make me proud, but it did put my mind at ease a little.
If I keep going like this, I might be able to escape being a broken dance locomotive before the debut...
+
[SYSTEM] A work order from the ‘Person in Charge’ has arrived.
▶ It would be problematic if an employee who has reached a certain rank works the same way they did as a new hire, wouldn't it? Let's show some performance now. I need to see that something has improved so I have something to say to the higher-ups.
[SYSTEM] As the ‘Quest’ adjustment period is complete, the earnable experience points will be adjusted.
▷ Previous: 20 Base Experience Points granted
▷ After Change: 10 Base Experience Points granted
+
Dammit.
Why don't you just hold a ritual for me to quit? Huh?
Just mix up some tricolor vegetables and feed me funeral rice already.
It didn't take long to adapt to the way the practice room operated.
Thanks to my experience surviving for about 1,400 days while walking on eggshells around Department Head Nam.
Ah, occasionally, I would lock eyes with Choi Je-ho through the practice room mirror.
Perhaps because I had spent so much time reading people's moods, I could now hear a voice even in Choi Je-ho’s gaze.
‘If you’re still clumsy today, I’m really leaving you behind.’
‘It breaks my heart, but what doesn't work, doesn't work.’
Choi Je-ho’s brow crumpled like a piece of dried squid. It seemed he had read my "dead-eye telepathy" as well.
While the two of us were sharing that intense look, someone visited the practice room. It was the person who had cast me for UA, who had visited the practice room before.
I believe her name was Min Ju-gyeong from the Management Headquarters.
Once the formal greetings were over as usual, Min Ju-gyeong spoke.
“You all know the Monthly Evaluation is coming up soon, right? I came to announce it again because I thought Iwol might not know yet.”
Even if I didn't know the details, I was aware of the Monthly Evaluation's existence. This was because the only thing Spark talked about when sharing trainee stories was the Monthly Evaluation.
Still, I was grateful for UA’s consideration in giving notice when the evaluation was more than ten days away.
Compared to Department Head Nam, who would throw me into an afternoon meeting on the day of and then run away on half-day leave, UA’s conduct was pure light.
“The evaluation will proceed the same as last time. As for the details... Seong-bin, could you explain them to Iwol?”
“Yes!”
The overly kind Jeong Seong-bin answered energetically even though he was suddenly tasked with the handover. He was truly the type to be incredibly good at social life.
If he shows that side of himself already, people who have sold their consciences will only try to take advantage of him.
For example, someone like me who plans to run away as soon as I debut.
“The difference is that the Representative will be coming this time. You know what that means, right?”
While I was worrying about Jeong Seong-bin’s future as Spark’s spokesperson, Min Ju-gyeong added.
“We’re going to start finalizing the lineup soon, the debut team. Let’s do well.”