Chapter 337: Side Story. The Reason I Couldn't Say
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 337: Side Story. The Reason I Couldn't Say
“You asked, ‘Who is the most reliable member and who is the member you have to look after the most?’”
“There are parts of everyone that make me worry, like children left alone on a deserted island, but I rely on Seong-bin a lot emotionally. I’m a bit of a troublemaker myself who needs a leader’s touch. As for Ju-woo and Gi-yeon, I end up looking after them about equally. I think it’s because they’re like babies to me!”
“A moment I was grateful to the members….”
“I’ve been grateful to them ever since our trainee days. They were so kind to me even though I was the only one who joined late, they did their absolute best to help me so we could debut together, and even now, they prioritize my affairs over their own. That’s why I always think about how I can be even a little bit of help to them in return.”
“There were also questions about what I do when I feel lethargic and if I could offer some comfort to office worker Sparklers.”
“I’m the type to just lie still and think, ‘I should try to do better again.’ I only find the strength to get up once I’ve motivated myself.
But if the members or Sparklers are so exhausted or lethargic that they need comfort, I’d tell them it’s okay to rest fully until they feel energized again. We live in a society where we rarely get the chance to hear that it’s okay to take a break. I want to be the one to offer that comfort.”
“‘Dieting is so hard. Please say something harsh to snap me out of it.’ …That’s what you asked.”
“Unless it’s a medical necessity for your health, I don’t want to recommend dieting. While there is such a thing as a standard weight, everyone’s basal metabolic rate is different, and I believe the weight at which one can live healthily varies from person to person.
Nevertheless, if you absolutely must lose weight due to the nature of your job—like an idol or a model—or if you’re gritting your teeth and dieting for your health! Rather than harsh words, I want to tell you that you’re working so hard and that your effort to change is truly admirable. It takes a lot of time and effort to change the momentum of one’s life. My hope is that you overcome that long journey with encouragement rather than the whip.”
“And actually, there was one more ‘VS’ question, but I set it aside because I wanted to answer it separately. It’s the question: ‘The idol you loved the most’ vs. ‘The last idol you will ever love’!”
“I love seeing our fans happy because of us, and I use that as my driving force to work, so I will choose ‘The idol I loved the most.’”
“In a similar vein, someone asked if there’s anything I want to hear from Sparklers.”
“I’d be happy to hear anything, because I believe whatever you say is said out of love for us. I mean it.”
“What kind of genres we want to challenge in the future is a topic we discuss often among ourselves.”
“The most recent one we talked about was ballads. It would be a challenging endeavor, so I can’t make any promises, but I’d love to show you one someday!”
“There’s also the question, ‘What is Spark to Iwol?’”
“It’s my entire present. I think that’s the most appropriate expression.”
“There were also so many questions worrying about my happiness. I received a lot of questions checking in on when I’m happy or if I’m hurting anywhere.”
“You asked me to promise that we’ll stay healthy and happy together forever, so let’s make that promise now! You must stay healthy and be happy. And thank you for saying that you’re happy because of me.”
“This is the final question of this long broadcast. What is something you want to say to Sparklers?”
“As I said just a moment ago, I hope you are always happy. Since we’ll only show you our best sides, I hope you just enjoy a comfortable and exciting Sparkler life. I love you.”
“This has been Iwol’s ‘Ask Me Anything’!”
“Thank you all so much for staying with me until this late hour. I’ll send the Bubble Pop messages tomorrow, so don’t wait up—go straight to sleep as soon as the live ends! Have sweet dreams!”
When I returned to the dorm after finishing the live, everyone was asleep. It made sense, as the date had already changed.
I didn’t even get to answer everything.
Even while washing up, the questions I couldn't answer flickered in my mind. Before even drying my hair, my feet led me to the sofa along with the list of questions I had printed out first.
『Did you organize all these questions into Web Cell, grouping similar ones together and listing them out?』
I couldn't help but laugh at the first question I saw.
Of course. I even did major and minor classifications.
There were questions I could have easily answered with my office worker persona but couldn't mention from an idol's perspective. Things like whether the agency had a labor union, or how I knew so much about social life.
Even if UA doesn't have a union, isn't there a chance an integrated union for the entertainment industry might form? If it does, I should join. As for social life… I learned it through blood, sweat, and tears, everyone.
I didn't mention the question about how many hours I work a day, fearing the viewers might worry. There was also a question asking me to speak up if I didn't like the company…. I held back, worried that fans might start embroidering the company's front gate with lightsticks. Besides, these days, I sometimes only work for two hours at most.
There was also a question asking me to choose between a room where I have to just watch the members do things that go against idol virtues, or a room where I have to lie down and watch the staff work without being able to intervene. I avoided answering because it felt like it would turn into a high-level roast of UA.
However, if I absolutely had to choose one, I’d choose the room watching the staff. I can tolerate the company doing weird things, but I can't stand to watch an idol forget their duty.
I also couldn't answer questions related to the members' personal histories on air. Things like age gaps with siblings or childhood stories.
In the past, many of them had complicated family histories, so it was awkward to even ask the kids.
I do know the age gaps, though. I recall Je-yeong Noona being six years older than us, and Mi-ho being four years younger. I’m not sure about Lee Cheong-hyeon’s older brother, but I think he said his younger brother was two years younger.
It was also a shame that I had to filter out all the friendship-related questions because I was on edge due to the All-over issue. If it weren't for those junkies, I wouldn't have skipped those answers!
Still, I rationalized that it was a good choice, as mentioning Berion as the "celebrity colleague I'm closest to outside of Spark" might have bothered him.
Someone also asked if I’d eaten with Yur Sunbaenim—I’m sorry. I haven't. All-over is close with Parte, and Yur is at Parte’s agency…. Until they are all indicted, I won't be sharing a table with them….
I also wanted to answer questions about CFs I want to film or brands that suit us, but I didn't address them because it might look like I was encouraging purchasing power. Should I have mentioned the CFs? Come to think of it, saying I want to film a public service advertisement wouldn't exactly incite the fans.
Maybe if I had talked about items instead of brands, I could have expressed it more indirectly. Choi Je-ho for suits, Jeong Seong-bin for watches, Park Ju-woo for perfume, Lee Cheong-hyeon for jewelry, and Kang Gi-yeon for shoes. Why do I always think of the good ideas after the fact?
『Do you have any nicknames from your school days that other people called you?』
I didn't answer this because I didn't know if nicknames from my "Kim Hyo-il" days would apply. To begin with, I didn't have many nicknames. My classmates used to include me as the "extra" to even out numbers, and since I was tall for an extra, they called me "Altari Radish." Other than that, it was just things like "Soccer Vending Machine" or "Snowman."
Someone also asked about essential certifications for employment. It was information that would be strange for the current Kim I-wol to know well, so I couldn't cover it in the live. But having just a driver's license and a Computer Literacy certification really does broaden the range of places you can apply to.
And where on earth did I slip up…?
『Could you please do your specialty, the boomer impression, just once?』
…That question came in. Where did I even talk about that? Kim I-wol, get your head in the game.
It’s not like I can’t do it. “This is always the problem with you, Assistant Manager Kim. You never do anything properly. If you keep acting like this, how can I trust you with any work? How are you going to fix this mess? You’re making me age prematurely, Assistant Manager Kim, honestly.”
There were also many questions about my health. I didn't answer because I didn't want to cause worry by mentioning things that had already gotten better, but maybe I should have said a word about how I’m doing perfectly fine.
Besides those, there were questions that anyone might hear, but for some reason, they carried a different weight to me, so I didn't touch them.
『If you could go back to the past and build a friendship with one member, who would it be?』
『Is there a change in your feelings now compared to when you debuted?』
『If you were born again, how would you want to live?』
『If the world ended tomorrow, what would you want to do?』
If I went back to the past, I’d probably have to meet Jeong Seong-bin. So that he never gets involved with Jang Jun-hu again.
My heart is the same now as it was at debut. I still work while thinking of my sister, and I feel a petty sense of guilt because of the difference in "temperature" between me and the others. Perhaps because I’ve lived too much like an idol, I haven't been able to move forward a single step because I haven't lost my "initial mindset."
Even if I were born again, I don't have the confidence to live like this. I hope this life, or this regression, is the last.
If the world ended tomorrow, I’d probably go out to the nearest crossroads and stand there indefinitely. Because that’s the best I can do.
I slowly traced my finger over a question that particularly caught my eye.
『If you could say goodbye to only one member before you die?』
Right. Just in case, I should think about this too. Since I’ve found out that my heart has an expiration date.
But the answer is already set. I can't give such an ordeal to kids who are younger than me, anyway.
To think I might end up giving my final goodbye at the brink of death to the person I once hated to death—there is no greater irony.
『If you were born again, would you do Spark with the current members?』
Faced with that kind question wishing for Spark to stay together, I couldn't say anything. So, I kept making excuses internally.
If my sister is living well.
If the members still accept me then.
If people like seeing me perform.
If an Opportunity comes to me even without a KPI.
The night grew deep. Using the interest sent my way as a blanket, I fell asleep right there on the sofa with the question sheet resting on my chest.