Chapter 313: Variety Show Tour (5)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 313: Variety Show Tour (5)
For the few days following the release of our team’s and Choi Je-ho’s team’s broadcasts, variety show communities were practically plastered with Spark.
≫ Kim I-wol is a literal master of corporate life.
I want a boss like I-wol.
Give me a coworker like I-wol.
Just give me Kim I-wol.
└ That last one is your true feelings, isn't it?
└ But seriously, doesn't he know the workplace too well...? If I had a colleague like Kim I-wol, I could actually enjoy going to work at least half the week.
└ The firm conviction that even Kim I-wol can’t cover the entire week.
└ Sorry, I-wol, but...
≫ This Worry Sharing Meeting is so healing.
It reminded me of when I was a rookie getting my salary notification, so I found myself rooting for the guest.
And seriously, I wish S.D.H. would just quit the show... It feels like he completely fails to understand why the guest is even worried.
└ S.D.H. has always said nonsensical things, so I never liked him, but it was so obvious how little he empathized with the office worker guest. Maybe it’s because he doesn't know how companies work, but still.
└ It’s probably because he’s never lived the corporate life. How much would celebrities know about the struggles of regular office workers?
└ Even so, the difference in the quality of comments between him and Kim I-wol—who is younger and an idol—is huge. Kim I-wol reads the stories carefully and tries his best to understand the guest’s situation, but S.D.H. doesn't even do that.
≫ I was just watching two members going "ooga-booga" while starting a fire, and then I see these sophisticated men comforting a guest left alone in the harsh urban jungle. The cognitive dissonance is real.
└ Hey, our boys didn't actually make "ooga-booga" sounds.
└ LOL.
≫ So, Kim I-wol, why on earth do you have the Ministry of Employment and Labor’s counseling number memorized? LMAO, I’m dying.
No, actually, never tell us why. It won't be funny.
└ I accidentally memorized it while watching the video... 1350, no area code needed...
└ The unofficial honorary ambassador for the Ministry of Employment and Labor, Mr. Kim (22/Idol).
≫ A grown-up Sparkler just turned on the waterworks in the subway because of Jeong Seong-bin. What are we going to do with this baby angel?
└ What are we going to do with our baby leader who says he’s never regretted becoming the leader? ㅠㅠㅠㅠ F*ck, we have to raise our Seong-bin with nothing but love.
└ It’s so admirable how he said the guest will be able to finish their project well because he did well too. Seong-bin, you’re not doing well because you’re good at it; you’re doing well because it’s you. ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
≫ I love that the timeline is full of Spark, but it’s a bit confusing jumping back and forth between urban civilization and the dawn of man.
I hope one side returns to modern society as soon as possible.
└ Worry Sharing Meeting is a one-week special, but Unmanned Rest Stop is two weeks...
└ So the Paleolithic era was the main event.
The rumor that a certain idol group was living as homeless people on a deserted island spread faster than expected. Their shabby shelter, their radiant faces, their sculpted forearms, and the sheer ignorance of trying to solve everything with brute force shone brightly on short-form platforms.
And so, even before the second week began.
The highlight video of Choi Je-ho and Kang Gi-yeon’s Unmanned Rest Stop uploaded by the station reached one million views.
Since the reaction to the deserted island variety show was so good, we decided to film a "Watching Unmanned Rest Stop Live" episode for our self-produced content. Thanks to that, we were currently sitting in the company meeting room with five minutes left until broadcast, waiting to see what kind of exploits Choi Je-ho and Kang Gi-yeon would show us on the big monitor.
“I saw a comment saying we’re ‘authentic idols.’”
“We were authentic, alright. I never imagined we’d actually sleep on the ground.”
At my words, Choi Je-ho avoided my gaze.
“It’s starting...!”
Park Ju-woo, who hadn't taken his eyes off the screen even during our chatter, spoke up. With a caption saying Recap, the rough first day of Choi Je-ho and Kang Gi-yeon was aired. Then came the pillow-making segment that had closed out last week’s broadcast.
『Je-ho: Wasn't there some wire among the trash?』
『Gi-yeon: There was... but wouldn't we hurt our hands if we use it wrong?』
『Je-ho: We can just use banana leaves.』
『※ Deserted Island Survival Tip: When you need something, you can solve it somehow by just using banana leaves.』
An incredible caption appeared right from the start. Choi Je-ho actually wrapped banana leaves around both the wire and his hands, then began to notch a log as if he were using dental floss.
“Hey, you could’ve really messed up your palms doing that!”
“I kept checking as I went.”
Shredded banana leaves fell one by one from Choi Je-ho’s grip. His excellent assistant, Kang Gi-yeon, meticulously performed medical checks while ceaselessly providing more banana leaves.
It was impossible to cut a log with a wire instead of a saw. A caption saying 1 Hour Later appeared, but the log only had a mark on it like a perforated line.
『Gi-yeon: At this rate, won't it be hard to cut it all the way through?』
『Je-ho: This should be enough.』
『Gi-yeon: For what?』
Setting down the wire, Choi Je-ho picked up a rock. Then, he began to smash the log with the rock along the line. Bark flew in every direction.
『Gi-yeon: Ack! What are you doing?!』
『Je-ho: If I just dig a small groove and stomp on it, it’ll break.』
After thoroughly pummeling the log, Choi Je-ho propped a rock under it. He had Kang Gi-yeon sit on the opposite end.
『Je-ho: Hold it down tight. Don't let it flip.』
Then, he stomped on the battered section repeatedly, like cramming trash into a bag. After three kicks, a piece of the log snapped off.
“Is this for real...?”
Lee Cheong-hyeon muttered as if he couldn't believe it.
『Je-ho: Want me to make yours too?』
『Gi-yeon: ...Yes.』
The two repeated the process. Kang Gi-yeon, claiming that using it as-is would result in twigs getting stuck in his scalp, meticulously wrapped the "foot-crafted" pillow in banana leaves.
『※ Deserted Island Survival Tip: When you need something, you can solve it somehow by just using banana leaves.』
The caption we saw earlier appeared again. I couldn't lift my head.
A deserted island under the scorching sun. And...
『Gi-yeon: Don't even think about going back to shore until you fill the basket. Got it?』
『Je-ho: Isn't the size difference between our baskets a bit much?』
『Gi-yeon: Don't sweat the small stuff.』
...The screen was filled with two young men who couldn't seem to leave the ocean. At least Kang Gi-yeon was wearing a T-shirt; Choi Je-ho had taken his shirt off entirely.
After catching two fish with some god-tier harpooning, Choi Je-ho picked up a handful of seaweed from the seabed.
『Je-ho: Can't we just make seaweed soup?』
『Gi-yeon: ...Didn't you just step on that, Hyung?』
At Gi-yeon’s words, Je-ho let the seaweed go without a hint of regret. I wasn't even sure if that was the same kind of seaweed we have in Korea.
『Je-ho: How do they catch all the fish at the seafood markets?』
『Gi-yeon: At least they don't use harpoons like we do.』
Their idiotic conversation was also a highlight. Kang Gi-yeon tried his hand at diving and caught a sea urchin, only to release it because it was "too small."
They really are idiots. Idiots who didn't realize the sea urchin wasn't a baby, but that their hands were just huge.
The two didn't manage to fill the bucket. However, the tide was coming in, so they had to leave the water. They handled their showers at a small stream Je-ho had found while picking pineapples.
『Je-ho: I need to wash my pants too.』
『Gi-yeon: Should I go get your clothes?』
『Je-ho: Can't I just wash them and take them with me?』
『Gi-yeon: Then what are you going to wear to get to where the bags are?』
At Gi-yeon’s remark, Je-ho silently stood up.
“Je-ho.”
“What.”
“Starting tomorrow, why don't you practice thinking about two things at once?”
I made the suggestion kindly. Choi Je-ho didn't even bother to respond.
On screen, the two were grilling fish over a pillar of fire that looked like they’d poured gasoline on it. They looked warm and happy.
Life on the deserted island was a series of hardships (only for those watching). As night fell, Choi Je-ho and Kang Gi-yeon, their faces smudged with soot, sat before the campfire. Perhaps because they had run back and forth along the beach before sunset, they both looked a bit more rugged.
For a late-night snack, they tore into the fish caught in Gi-yeon’s trap.
『Gi-yeon: We’re just eating like this; will we even have enough footage?』
『Je-ho: ...I wonder if I-wol will scold us.』
『Gi-yeon: For someone who’s worried, you seem to be enjoying that fish.』
『Je-ho: Want another one?』
『Gi-yeon: I feel like I’ll gain weight if I eat more.』
『Je-ho: We can just run another lap after eating.』
We also got to see the mature side of the older brother worrying about his younger brother’s concerns. It was just a struggle for them to maintain even a faint smile for the cameras.
The climax came when Kang Gi-yeon climbed into his pit to sleep.
After confirming the youngest was asleep, Choi Je-ho touchingly placed a leaf on Gi-yeon’s face to prevent mosquito bites. His careful hand movements, like placing a lid on a finished pot of soup, were a work of art.
『An older brother’s heart, full of worry for his younger brother...』
Seeing the caption, Jeong Seong-bin buried his face in his hands and started to cry. Kang Gi-yeon wiped his face, saying, “No wonder I could smell nature right under my nose...”
Life on the deserted island was full of talk and trouble until the very end. They were the only ones at peace; from the outside, it looked incredibly grueling. It was a miracle they made it back, given the harsh environment and the even harsher member composition.
Oh, and a fairly touching clip appeared at the end.
Kang Gi-yeon, who had been sleeping like Tutankhamun, would occasionally wake up to poke at the campfire, checking to make sure the fire didn't go out.
『Writer: Gi-yeon, aren't you sleeping?』
『Gi-yeon: I’m checking the fire. Je-ho Hyung has poor night vision, so he can't get around well at night without light.』
For all four days and three nights, Kang Gi-yeon watched over the fire without fail. He would replenish the wood, check if the smoke was spreading too much, and then go back to sleep. Choi Je-ho, for his part, slept soundly without waking once, but it was a beautiful sight.
『PD: How did you both feel about the experience?』
『Je-ho: It was fun. I hope the other members can come too.』
『Gi-yeon: If possible, I hope some smarter members come next time.』
The production crew’s laughter was caught clearly on record at Gi-yeon’s heartfelt sentiment.
Preparations to leave the island were finished easily. It was possible because all their living tools were natural objects. Choi Je-ho and Kang Gi-yeon placed their wooden pillows and banana leaf gloves into the pit where they had slept and covered them with soil.
They packed the self-made trap and the wire into their bags, saying they would take them back to dispose of them properly.
Against the backdrop of a beach where not a single trace of human habitation remained, a phrase appeared: Beautiful people leave beautiful traces. It was an eco-friendly and beautiful ending.