Chapter 269: Roommate Wanted
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 269: Roommate Wanted
Lee Cheong-hyeon let out a deep, weary sigh, looking like he had a massive headache. He swept his bangs back with his hand—Spark actually has a specific clause allowing them to push their hair back in front of the camera only when it’s styled in an all-back look.
“As you all know, I-wol Hyung’s nagging is absolutely terrifying. And becoming his roommate? You might as well consider our free will dead.”
“Cheong-hyeon, what kind of nagging did you usually hear?”
Jeong Seong-bin even stepped in to host the segment.
“If I say this… I’m worried it might spark rumors of discord within the team…”
Oh, please.
Lee Cheong-hyeon wiped his dry eyes. Park Ju-woo patted him on the shoulder. It was honestly surprising that Park Ju-woo even knew how to play along with a skit like this.
“‘If you leave without sunscreen today, I’ll consider it negligence of duty and report your actions to Bubble Pop.’ ‘Your toner isn’t decreasing; are you not applying it after washing your face?’ ‘Your diction was unclear while you were talking in your sleep; if you were dreaming of rapping, you have a pronunciation problem.’ ‘If it wasn’t a dream about rapping, then your sleep quality is poor, so clear everything off your bed by tomorrow to improve your sleeping environment’…”
For someone who claimed to be worried about discord rumors, the words poured out of Lee Cheong-hyeon’s mouth with suspicious ease.
“Do you agree with this, Je-ho Hyung, as a fellow roommate?”
At Jeong Seong-bin’s question, Choi Je-ho looked at me.
“Is there anyone who doesn’t know Kim I-wol nags a lot?”
“Hyung, take this chance to report him too. I’ll grant you some of my precious speaking time.”
Lee Cheong-hyeon generously handed over his "speaking time"—though no one knew when he’d been granted it in the first place—to Choi Je-ho.
“I don’t remember the specifics… but he usually just makes this face.”
Choi Je-ho crossed his arms and put on an expression that looked extremely displeased. Seeing that, Lee Cheong-hyeon burst into a fit of giggles. He even started clapping like a seal, claiming Je-ho’s face looked exactly like mine.
This was driving me crazy. Once again, I was the only weirdo here.
I waited for my turn and then retaliated with a report that contained not a single lie. However, the accusations against me didn't stop. Roommates or not, halfway through, I felt like telling them I’d just sleep in the entryway shoe rack.
After the colorful roommate introductions ended, it was time to decide on the new pairings. I wondered if anyone would even want to be my roommate, but I didn't have much of a choice.
“How are we deciding the roommates…?”
Park Ju-woo asked at just the right moment.
Usually, it’s either by nomination or drawing lots, but since they’d made such a big deal out of the intro, I figured they’d do something new.
Just as I was wondering if I was expecting too much from UA, Jeong Seong-bin flipped his cue card and asked a question back.
“Everyone, are you familiar with the term ‘collective intelligence’?”
Everyone nodded. It was a question that had appeared on Shining Star, K-Top Scholar, so there was no way they wouldn't know it.
“Today’s second corner is for the six of us to put our heads together and find the optimal roommates!”
“Whoa, crazy.”
Lee Cheong-hyeon covered his mouth with his hand.
It certainly was "crazy." I doubted this segment would even finish before the day was over.
There’s a saying that too many cooks spoil the broth.
And as for Spark…
“I’m telling you, Kang Gyeon absolutely has to share a room with me!”
“You’re just trying to lie about coming home late from the studio. Don’t use me for your petty lies.”
…They weren't a group where six people rowed one boat; they were the type where all six would grab an oar in each hand and row in completely different directions.
I’d only recently started thinking they’d matured, but that image of them all ordering different dishes at a Chinese restaurant was being resurrected. I felt like shouting for them to just pick one menu item because we were busy.
“Cheong-hyeon, do you want to share a room with me…?”
“If I share a room with you, Hyung, won’t I hear auditory hallucinations of an electric guitar every night?”
“…No way.”
“What’s with the hesitation?”
Park Ju-woo avoided Lee Cheong-hyeon’s gaze. It seemed a similar symptom had manifested once before with Jeong Seong-bin or Kang Gi-yeon.
“I-wol Hyung should definitely be paired with Seong-bin Hyung.”
The sparks flew toward me, even though I was staying quiet. Kang Gi-yeon had pointed me out.
“I tend to get dizzy if I’m around a superior for too long.”
“What do you mean ‘superior,’ Hyung?”
“Seong-bin, you’re our team leader.”
When I gave him my signature "smile for the boss," Jeong Seong-bin flinched.
“Hyung does need a brake, though.”
Lee Cheong-hyeon added weight to Kang Gi-yeon’s opinion. What’s the point of you guys acting as a brake? The System is flooring the accelerator.
“Let’s use the process of elimination. First, take Je-ho Hyung out.”
“Ju-woo Hyung has to be out too. It’s either you, me, or Seong-bin Hyung—one of the three.”
“You’re out too. If we put you and Hyung together, you two will just pull all-nighters together like best buddies.”
“When did our Gi-yeon-ssi get so smart? I thought you wouldn't notice if I tried to bundle us together.”
Lee Cheong-hyeon and Kang Gi-yeon whispered among themselves. It was absurd.
“I’m fine with sleeping in the living room.”
I timidly voiced my opinion, but no one listened. They were too busy having a heated debate over who would take the "difficult-to-handle" Kim I-wol.
“First off, Seong-bin Hyung and Kang Gyeon—are you two willing to share a room with I-wol Hyung?”
“Of course.”
“I mean, sure.”
Without even asking for my opinion, Lee Cheong-hyeon, Jeong Seong-bin, and Kang Gi-yeon continued their discussion.
“But if I-wol Hyung and Seong-bin Hyung share a room, won’t I-wol Hyung get three demerits and meet his end?”
“Are we going to lose our oldest member…?”
Park Ju-woo trembled. Disposal by the head of the organization, huh? Not an unfamiliar concept.
“I don’t think pairing him with Kang Gi-yeon would result in a very good interaction either.”
Even Choi Je-ho chimed in. I started getting anxious that I really would end up rooming with Jeong Seong-bin.
“Could I get a chance to speak too?”
When I raised my hand and spoke, their heads all turned toward me.
“I… want to share a room with Cheong-hyeon.”
“Oh my.”
Lee Cheong-hyeon shyly brought both hands to his mouth.
But if we didn't do this, we’d both die. We wouldn't meet our composing deadlines, and we wouldn't be able to check the System details in time. To survive, we had to join forces and pull the wool over Jeong Seong-bin’s eyes.
Fortunately, Lee Cheong-hyeon seemed to catch my drift.
“I’d welcome sharing a room with Hyung too. Why don’t you pair us up first?”
However, my and Lee Cheong-hyeon’s dream was thoroughly crushed.
“I’m definitely splitting up the Night Owl Duo.”
Jeong Seong-bin spoke firmly, without a hint of hesitation. Being a night owl is just how we were born. I wish he’d respect the free lifestyle of a night owl.
“Then what options does the Night Owl Duo have?”
Jeong Seong-bin pondered my question. Then, he presented two options.
“First, take Gi-yeon. Second, take Ju-woo.”
“The options are too bleak, Seong-bin.”
If I became roommates with Kang Gi-yeon, I wouldn't even be able to breathe. Look at those sharp eyes. Would I even dare use my laptop in bed?
If I became roommates with Park Ju-woo, I wouldn't be able to breathe for a different reason. Park Ju-woo can’t sleep unless it’s silent. I wouldn't be able to use a keyboard, let alone write in a diary.
“I need some breathing room. Please give me a third option.”
“Only I’m left. Are you okay with that?”
Jeong Seong-bin asked, placing a hand on his chest.
To be honest, you’re not great either… but at least Jeong Seong-bin won’t have a nervous breakdown because of me.
“I will, if you promise to only give me a few demerits.”
I decided to compromise with reality. Jeong Seong-bin smiled and said he would.
“Then I’ll put Seong-bin Hyung and I-wol Hyung in one room. Congratulations on the birth of our first pair!”
Lee Cheong-hyeon led the applause as he stuck our name magnets together in a row.
Living with the leader, huh? It looks like I’ll need an adjustment period for a while after we move.
≫ Choi Je-ho’s hoodie is oversized even on 180cm Lee Cheong-hyeon? This is literally insane.
└ Our boy is so tall his feet hang off the bed LOL
└ But it makes sense, Choi Je-ho is 187cm… In front of his big bro, Lee Cheong-hyeon is just a baby.
└ But they really do seem to share a closet LOL
└ It’s not sharing, it’s just Je-ho’s clothes being unilaterally plundered.
└ In exchange, Cheong-hyeon gave him a dust bag.
└ Hey, he said that was something he was going to throw away anyway XDDDD
≫ Ju-woo says whenever he gets a break, he washes the members’ bedding in the laundry machine ㅠㅠㅠㅠ
Our Ju-woo is a little angel cleaning fairy… We need one Ju-woo per household.
└ The highlight is Cheong-hyeon being horrified and declining because he has too much stuff on his bed.
└ The caption LOL: "The Auntie-type member who lives with stuff piled on his bed"
└ Is it just me who finds it funny that after Ju-woo changes the bedding, Seong-bin sometimes makes towel animals and puts them on top?
└ LMAO, that’s like those towel animal pics you see when you get room service at a hotel.
└ Jeong Seong-bin is seriously weird… It doesn't show much because he’s surrounded by weirdos, but he’s truly strange…
└ Jeong Seong-jun-ssi, who teaches how to make towel animals and also makes his brother explode with frustration… I miss you. Please invite him officially once.
≫ No, so are Je-ho and Ju-woo in one room?
Je-ho, I won’t say much. I recommend buying electronic drums as soon as possible.
└ XDDDDDD
≫ The Maknaez are roommates?
Thank you… Thank you… I will never forget this grace for the rest of my life…
└ This room is going to be the loudest, seriously.
└ I’m truly "Goat-ful" that they gave the biggest room to the youngest members so Gi-yeon can stretch and Cheong-hyeon can put his equipment.
└ I’m dying, are we supposed to say "Goat-ful" now?
The roommate self-produced content provided a massive stimulus to Baek Hae-won’s boring daily life.
The fact that her "babies," who hadn't even been debuted for a year, had grown enough to move dorms, and the tight-knit friendship between the members, filled Baek Hae-won’s heart with joy.
Furthermore…
≫ Kim I-wol LOL
Cheong-hyeon’s strength: "He makes the room beautiful" XDDDD
└ It’s also freaking hilarious how he wrote "Cheong-hyeon-ie" for the younger one but just "Choi Je-ho" for the same-aged one LOL. No mercy.
≫ Isn't it so sweet how Seong-bin said the youngest has no flaws?
└ Seong-bin, if you do that, what does that make I-wol?
└ I-wol just has excellent objectivity.
≫ I-wol is really consistent.
Things unrelated to being an idol: Quietly considerate.
Things related to being an idol: Freaks out like an angry Shih Tzu.
I-wol doesn't really look like a Shih Tzu, but anyway.
└ But honestly, if I were him, I’d be a bit scared if my roommate knew my toner wasn't decreasing.
└ It’s okay, we’re not Spark.
…The fact that her bias was consistently weird also made Baek Hae-won proud.
‘Now, if they just slay the year-end stages, I’ll have no more wishes.’
Please, you broadcasting station bastards, give our Spark plenty of time. No, please give them time. I’m begging you.
Baek Hae-won prayed as she cast her votes for yet another new awards ceremony. It looked like it would be a busy end of the year.
Spark’s new promotions succeeded in achieving unprecedented results.
Album sales, buzz volume, music video and fancam views—every metric rose overwhelmingly. This was despite the fact that the previous album, MISSION, had already performed excellently.
People who were drawn in through the exposure from the cosmetics commercial looked up the self-produced content and albums Spark had worked themselves to death to release, finding things that suited their tastes.
For new Sparklers who just wanted a "taste," the sheer mountain of content the rookie group had stockpiled blocked the exit. And when existing Sparklers might have started forgetting Spark during the busy year-end, the official accounts served up amazing albums and member dynamics.
They also saw the effect of barely winning first place during the last broadcast of their previous promotions. Having won once, Spark was able to take first place again, at least on cable shows.
As a result, my current KPI progress was…
+
[SYSTEM] The progress of the KPI ‘Capturing the Hearts of Potential Customers’ is notified to ‘Party B.’
▷ 4,819/10,000
+
…Proceeding very smoothly.
It seemed white-haired Kim I-wol had quite an impact. I even trended in real-time as "N-Net White Hair."
Excluding the time I collapsed during a live broadcast, this was the first time I’d trended on my own.
Being busy with events and schedules was also a blessing, if you could call it that. Working yourself to the bone is a thousand times better than having a hiatus.
But how could life be without its trials?
“A girl group stage cover?”
Ahead of the year-end stages, Spark was given a task that was difficult for any boy group to pull off.