Chapter 218: Informal Speech Time
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 218: Informal Speech Time
I tried to ask the guys what they were planning to do for fun, but I failed. This was because Park Ju-woo’s hand was still clamped firmly over my mouth.
It seemed Park Ju-woo was intent on grinding my lower jaw into powder. If he had a problem with me, I wished he’d just say it with words.
From a distance, I heard the sound of a bag zipping open. Kang Gi-yeon asked in a low voice, “Should I turn on the lights?”
“Yeah, just the ones by the door.”
As half the room brightened, the source of the noise became visible. Jeong Seong-bin was pulling a camcorder out of his bag and turning it on.
“Wha’ ‘ou ‘oin?”
My muffled, mangled pronunciation was somehow understood by Jeong Seong-bin, who replied, “Well, since we’re playing, I figured I should record it for now!”
What a commendable fellow. He certainly has a thorough professional spirit, no doubt thanks to whose guidance he grew up under.
We slotted our camcorders into the temporary mounts the production team had installed for their own cameras—every member of Spark carries a personal camcorder at all times—and sat in a circle in the middle of the room.
“The person who suggested we play should speak up. What do you want to do?”
At my words, Lee Cheong-hyeon shouted as if he’d been waiting for this moment.
“We exercised together and even moved into a dorm! In a situation like this, ‘Informal Speech Time’ is a must!”
Informal Speech Time?
That thing which is a dream for office workers, yet remains a pie in the sky and a hollow bed of thorns?
I’ve done it many times in my head while lying down to sleep. Nothing but curses came out. I’m sure any working professional would empathize with my ‘Internal Informal Speech Time.’
“You’re being quite bold about this mutiny, aren’t you?”
Kang Gi-yeon muttered, looking dumbfounded. It seemed he hadn't expected his fellow youngest-line friend to demand an Informal Speech Time with four older brothers present.
“When else are we going to do it? Kang-gyeon, how long are you going to live saying ‘Yes, sir’ to the hyungs?”
“I don’t think Kang Gi-yeon is exactly the type to live like that anyway, is he?”
“Je-ho hyung, considering the Informal Speech Time ahead of us, it would be best if you kept that mouth shut.”
Lee Cheong-hyeon gave a sinister warning.
“Still, shouldn’t we get permission from the hyungs first, Cheong-hyeon?”
Jeong Seong-bin, who had been observing the atmosphere, hurriedly cut in.
Permission, huh. To be honest, I didn't really care about Informal Speech Time, even if it wasn't for content.
There are plenty of companies these days that claim to have a horizontal organizational structure where people call each other by name without titles. Though it is a bit freakish to drop titles while everyone still uses formal language.
The problem was that these guys’ Informal Speech Time was dreadfully boring.
The past Spark self-produced content, the ~Informal Speech Time Episode~, was hideously awkward.
Jeong Seong-bin only looked at the floor, Kang Gi-yeon did nothing but chug bottled water, and Park Ju-woo spat out all the water he was drinking when Choi Je-ho said, “Hyung, give me some water too.”
Is it really okay to step into such boring content of my own volition with these guys?
“I don’t mind, but do you think it’ll even be fun?”
Choi Je-ho made a good point. They say even a broken clock is right twice a day, and it seems you’ve managed to make a valid observation for once. I shall forgive your earlier atrocities.
“Won’t it be fun? I have a lot to say to the hyungs.”
“Ah, me too…”
Following Lee Cheong-hyeon, even Park Ju-woo made a shy confession. It seemed my lower jaw really had been on the verge of being shattered.
Wait, so the thing you two were preparing for the dorm stay was Informal Speech Time? You guys are so innocent.
Regardless, a true adult must be considerate of his younger brothers, who surely have grievances piled up against their elders in this Confucian society of South Korea.
“Fine, let’s do it. Use this chance to say everything you want to say.”
“Score!”
Lee Cheong-hyeon cheered. Then, he dragged a large duvet across the floor.
“If it feels like something that shouldn't be broadcast, let’s hide under the blanket and say it. Then the company will edit it out for us, right?”
“Are you planning on swearing or something?”
Choi Je-ho looked disgusted.
“You’ll find out soon enough.”
A hint of madness began to tint Lee Cheong-hyeon’s eyes. Should I have denied him this Informal Speech Time? I wanted to take back my choice from a few seconds ago.
The rules for Spark’s Informal Speech Time were simply decided.
First, those of the same age will remain friends regardless of who is older by birth month.
Second, there will be no grudges afterward.
Third, since the younger members are already free to use formal language, the older members can use formal or informal language as they please in the reverse situation.
Finally, fourth, if you’re about to say something unfit for broadcast, do it under the blanket.
“Should we set a time? Is five minutes enough?”
“Seong-bin hyung, why so stingy? Even a karaoke room gives you ten minutes of bonus time.”
“We have plenty of time, so let’s just do thirty minutes.”
At my suggestion, the guys stared at me with wide eyes. They looked like they hadn't expected me to make such a proposal.
“What are you looking at? I’m not a stingy person when it comes to Informal Speech Time.”
“But hyung, you bow ninety degrees to your elders, use extreme honorifics with company staff, and you still can’t even do a one-handed heart for the fans.”
“Even so, a human being can’t just live like a total savage, can they?”
Anyway, the haphazard Informal Speech Time began the moment Jeong Seong-bin pressed the timer.
At most, they’ll probably make me or Choi Je-ho run some errands or ask for some ridiculous aegyo.
No matter what they demand, I won’t be flustered. Do you have any idea how much blood and tears I’ve shed adding effects to your boring content?
I can’t let the Sparklers suffer through that anymore. I will do my best.
While I was steeling my resolve, Park Ju-woo suddenly stood up.
He walked straight toward Choi Je-ho, sat down behind him, and rested his chin on Je-ho’s shoulder.
“Je-ho-ya.”
“Yeah?”
“Have you thought about us starting a band?”
Park Ju-woo’s gently curved eyes looked crazed.
That chilly, stubborn, and relentlessly forward-moving appearance.
There was no mistake. It was the ‘Limited Edition Sniper’ version of Park Ju-woo that had only appeared three times in Spark’s seven-year history.
“…What did you tell me to do again?”
Choi Je-ho asked in a reluctant voice. Park Ju-woo answered without missing a beat.
“Drums.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“You said that last time, too.”
Park Ju-woo was firm. When Choi Je-ho tried to sluggishly create some distance, Park Ju-woo followed him in slow motion.
“You’re going to do it, right?”
“…”
“It has to be you. No one else has your physique.”
“If physique is the issue, there’s Kim I-wol too.”
“I-wol has to play the bass…”
Park Ju-woo’s gaze turned toward me. Even I felt a chill run down my spine.
“I’m counting on you…?”
Park Ju-woo smiled brightly. Choi Je-ho pressed a hand to his forehead. He seemed exasperated by Park Ju-woo’s reckless appealing.
I was pitying Choi Je-ho about as much as the size of a thumb when someone threw an arm around my shoulder. Looking to my side, I saw Lee Cheong-hyeon staring at me, his face radiating transparency after his wash.
Lee Cheong-hyeon’s hand grabbed my chin. To be precise, his thumb and index finger pushed my cheeks upward as if showing off a puppy’s jowls.
Of course, I had no jowls to show off. If I had such things, I wouldn't be doing Informal Speech Time; I’d be out running laps on the field.
‘So why the hell is he doing this?’
As I stared at him in bewilderment, Lee Cheong-hyeon gave a sun-like grin.
“Aigoo, look how handsome our I-wol is!”
“…What are you doing, hyung?”
“I mean, our I-wol’s face is just glowing today.”
Did this guy secretly take some medicine?
Leaving me in my state of absurdity, Lee Cheong-hyeon turned my face left and then right, spouting blatant lies. They say even a compliment can be an insult if it’s excessive, and this was a textbook example.
After a few more nonsensical remarks, Lee Cheong-hyeon’s expression suddenly turned serious.
“No, this isn't the right flavor!”
“What exactly are you trying to do?”
“I wanted to copy the way you gush over us. But it’s not easy. It lacks that savory kick.”
“That’s because you’re trying to tease me, while I’m speaking from the heart. There’s bound to be a difference.”
“Exactly! That’s the difference!”
Lee Cheong-hyeon lamented.
“I want to praise you in a way that’s overwhelming! But I also want to mock you! Yet, I want you to feel the goodwill!”
“…That sounds difficult.”
Park Ju-woo agreed. He seemed to be playing along with Lee Cheong-hyeon, the pseudo-elder.
“It’s hard to just copy I-wol’s comments. I-wol is truly peerless in that regard. Every time I see him speak, I think he’s quite amazing in a way.”
Kang Gi-yeon spoke, making sure to insert my name into every single sentence. His expression was the same as usual, but he was clearly enjoying this.
After that, the guys took turns holding a ‘Kim I-wol Imitation’ contest. They even dragged Choi Je-ho into it. I won’t bother describing how bizarre Choi Je-ho’s version of fan-gushing was.
“Ah… nothing feels quite right.”
Lee Cheong-hyeon looked genuinely disappointed. It seemed he’d suggested Informal Speech Time just to do this.
It was then. Jeong Seong-bin stepped forward slightly.
Sitting down across from me, Jeong Seong-bin took both of my hands firmly in his.
“I think I-wol is like a birch tree.”
“Pardon?”
“You’re tall, upright, white, and noble. It suits you very well.”
Goosebumps rose on my back. I’d heard similar compliments from Sparklers before, but back then, they were filled with pure affection.
On the other hand, I felt a certain obsession and madness from Jeong Seong-bin. Perhaps it was because of his pure, clear eyes that lacked even a shred of malice, but his words felt even more unsettling.
“Do you know? They say birch bark doesn't rot easily. That’s why it was used a lot for keeping records a long time ago. I think it suits you perfectly, since you’re a diary enthusiast.”
“Ah, right…”
“If your exterior resembles a birch tree, your interior resembles a galaxy. What was it? There was a galaxy with properties very similar to yours, I-wol.”
“An ultra-diffuse galaxy…?”
“Right, that was it.”
At Park Ju-woo’s answer, Jeong Seong-bin clapped his hands. I don’t know why this team has everything from marine life enthusiasts to space enthusiasts.
“You know, ultra-diffuse galaxies are filled with dark matter, so they look dark. That’s why they’re also called dark galaxies.”
“Hyung, are you perhaps… taking a jab at me?”
“It’s not like that!”
Really? You’re not saying I look like a grim reaper? You’re not insulting me by saying I have a black heart?
Jeong Seong-bin waved his hand in denial. Then he grabbed my hands again. I felt like my palms were about to start sweating.
“Do you know what’s amazing? Because the density of stars in an ultra-diffuse galaxy is so low, they were observed much later than their actual size would suggest. Just like how it took time for many people to recognize your talent.”
Fuck, I’m dying of embarrassment.
Is this right? Can someone please throw a blanket over me? I’m so humiliated. Can I please be edited out?
“The important thing is that these ultra-diffuse galaxies generally have more invisible dark matter than visible stars. Just like how you have many good qualities that you haven't shown people yet.”
Jeong Seong-bin smiled softly. Feeling strangely hot, I pulled my hands out of his grasp.
“So it wasn't the wind of mockery, but the warm sunlight that made the traveler take off his coat…”
Lee Cheong-hyeon muttered.
Fine, just say whatever you want…