I Picked Up the Lewd Notebook
I picked up the Lewd Notebook! Life really isn’t easy. Nothing ever goes the way I want. I originally dreamed of becoming a teacher. Elementary school would have been fine. Middle or high school too. But neither my grades nor my college entrance exam scores supported that dream. So I repeated a year. At first I kept my studies on track pretty well, but I fell for a noona from the same academy and everything went off the rails. Using “stress relief” as an excuse, we threw ourselves into exploring each other so vigorously that my grades crashed through the floor. Naturally, I failed to get into university. And did the love work out? Of course not. The romance that felt like it would last forever ended as emptily and abruptly as a soap bubble popping. They say when bodies drift apart, hearts follow. The noona who got into her target university quickly found new love and left me behind.
I lacked the confidence to try a third time, so I ran away to the military. Let me cool my head, reflect on life, and find what I truly want to do! That was the excuse I told myself. By the time my service was nearing its end, it still felt like I had no real prospects in civilian life, so I applied for a short-term sergeant position. At least I could leave with a decent lump sum of money. Time passed, and when I finally came to my senses, I had completed roughly six years in the army, returned to society, and taken over the comic book cafe my father used to run.
“Still, it looks pretty decent once you fix it up a bit…”
It was nine in the morning. While preparing to open the comic book cafe I let out a long sigh. Three months had passed since my father suddenly passed away. With no particular keepsakes left behind, I decided to honor him by inheriting and running the cafe exactly as it was. When I first stepped inside, I noticed countless things that bothered me. It was obvious he had left everything to the part-timers and operated it half-heartedly. So I poured my own money into completely renovating the place.
I filled the bookshelves with new manga, webtoons, and novels. Mini fans, blankets, cushions, blinds—everything was replaced with fresh items. Thanks to the savings I had accumulated as a non-commissioned officer and the money my stepmother contributed, I could remodel the cafe however I wanted.
“I’m grateful for the financial help, but… haa…”
It had been about two months since we started living together, yet things between me and my stepmother still felt awkward. I had originally planned to live independently. It seemed strange for a fully grown adult man to move back into the family home. But my stepmother had strongly insisted against it. Her own daughters were already living there, so she said it would be nice if I joined them. Honestly, that made me feel it was even more inappropriate. Three women living in one house and then adding a man who was practically a stranger? It looked terrible. Yet my stepmother seemed to feel some sense of responsibility or guilt over my father’s death. She sobbed that if she let me leave, she wouldn’t be able to face him in the afterlife. I simply couldn’t coldly refuse her.
So I lost a father and gained a mother and two stepsisters… What even is this? These days even manga don’t use storylines like this…
After finishing the opening preparations, I slowly walked around the interior of the cafe. There were about fifty rooms split between upper and lower levels. Long bookshelves packed tightly with volumes. Soft music flowing gently through the air, the rich aroma of coffee tickling the nose. I wondered if my father had seen this same sight every morning. The thought made my chest tighten with unexpected emotion.
No, wait… He loved sleeping in. He probably left opening duties to the part-timers, right? Hmm…?
That was when I noticed it—tucked among the neatly arranged vertical books, one volume lay horizontally all by itself.
“Did I stock this one?”
It was a black hardcover. Unlike the other manga, it had a stiff, rigid cover. Its thickness was substantial too, roughly the same as three average manga stacked together.
“Lewd Notebook? What the hell is this…”
Frowning at the words Lewd Notebook boldly printed on the cover, I casually flipped it open. The inside was nothing but blank white pages. No text, no drawings—just empty paper. Curious what kind of thing this was, I checked the very first page. There, a list of rules had been written out.
Rule 1: The Lewd Notebook turns one lewd fantasy into reality each day.
Rule 2: Any lewd event written in the Lewd Notebook will absolutely occur.
Rule 3: The lewd event written in the Lewd Notebook lasts for a maximum of 24 hours.
Rule 4: If the written lewd event cannot physically occur, the entry will be erased and the effect will not activate.
Rule 5: People will not question any lewd events caused by the Lewd Notebook. This Common Sense Alteration remains permanently in effect even after the 24-hour duration ends.
Rule 6: Lewd events must be written following the 5W1H format.
Rule 7: Once you begin using the Lewd Notebook, you cannot stop. Failure to create one lewd event per day will result in death.
Rule 8: For any additional questions, write them in the Lewd Notebook to receive answers.
“Wow… this is some serious middle-school edgelord fantasy.”
It looked like a customer must have accidentally left their manga behind after reading it. Still, who would go to the trouble of making a hardcover notebook like this? Must be quite the unique person.
I carried the Lewd Notebook back to the counter. My curiosity was thoroughly piqued.
“Should I try writing something?”
Coming up with a lewd scenario that followed the 5W1H format actually sounded pretty fun. I took out a mechanical pencil from the counter drawer and grabbed a memo pad. After scribbling various ideas, I gradually shaped them into a proper lewd event.
Who, when, where, what, how, why.
“Who? Women who visit the comic book cafe… but if I write it like that it might include minors, which would be dangerous. So, adult women who visit the comic book cafe… Today. Inside the comic book cafe. What?”
What would turn into something lewd? What could women who come to my cafe do that would count?
“They take out their breasts and ask me to suck their nipples. Hmm, that’s not bad.”
They would come straight to the counter, suddenly expose their chests, and ask, “Boss, would you like to suck my nipples?” Then, depending on their face and figure, I could say, “You look pretty hot. Approved. Bring those breasts here,” or “Hmm… no thanks. Put them away and go read something.”
“Now, how… and why… Yeah, this should be good enough.”
For something I came up with in a short time, it felt surprisingly detailed and well-crafted. I organized what I had written on the memo pad and copied it neatly into the Lewd Notebook.
Reading it back, it was an incredibly perverted sentence. It sounded like something straight out of a common-sense-alteration hentai plot.
“If I return the notebook like this, will the owner sue me?”
If the owner was a woman and saw those lines on the first page, she would probably be horrified. She might never visit the cafe again. The rumor that the owner was a pervert could spread throughout the neighborhood.
“Yeah. I should erase it after all.”
That was why I had used a mechanical pencil in the first place. I hadn’t pressed too hard, writing lightly so it would erase cleanly. I took out an eraser and gently rubbed the paper so as not to damage it. The notebook’s cover and pages were made of exceptionally high-quality material, so if I erased carefully it should disappear without a trace.
“What the… Why isn’t it erasing?”
The eraser was definitely wearing down. Yet the thin letters written in pencil refused to disappear at all. I rubbed harder, but nothing changed. The lewd event I had written remained perfectly intact on the page of the Lewd Notebook, as if it had been written in permanent marker or printed there.
Just then, the front door of the comic book cafe opened with a low chime.
“W-welcome!”
I quickly closed the Lewd Notebook and shoved it into a corner of the counter. I would deal with the customers first and figure out what to do with this thing later.
“Whoa, it really has changed a lot. It looks amazing now.”
“Right? I came here last time with Sujin and was shocked too.”
Two customers, both women. Given that they had come to a comic book cafe so early in the morning, they were probably college students enjoying summer break. I greeted them with a smile.
“Could I have your shoe locker keys first? What package would you like?”
The taller of the two, a woman with a ponytail, answered.
“Two all-day passes, please.”
“Two all-day passes it is. No drinks with that?”
“I’ll have an iced Americano. She’ll take an iced tea.”
“Got it. I’ll let you know with the pager when they’re ready. Just come pick them up then.”
I took their shoe locker keys and handed over the pagers and membership cards. After doing this job for a while, the motions had become completely natural. Every movement flowed like water. But right then, the ponytail girl who had just received her pager and card suddenly said something strange.
“Oh, that’s right! Nipples!”
“…Pardon?”
“Just a moment.”
Without warning, she yanked her top all the way up, turned her back to her friend, and said,
“Hey, undo my bra strap for me.”