Chapter 5
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 5
Chapter Title: How to Get Close to a Witch (5)
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After waking up in the morning and warming up my body with a light jog.
To make a slightly better impression on the apprentice witch, I checked my outfit and appearance.
Worried I might say something wrong, I even ran through a bunch of simulated conversations by myself.
Heck, instead of my usual civil servant fatigue, I was even wearing an appropriate smile.
With my perfectly sane head thinking it over directly.
'Yeah, it is.'
Male prostitute... it was, technically.
A job providing sexual services to an apprentice witch who hates men.
To sum up that dull, pedantic explanation in short: basically a male prostitute, right?
Digging deeper, it might even be a more negative job than that.
At least if she wanted a man it might be different, but she's meeting me against her will due to her master's pressure, despite hating men.
From Neria's perspective, there couldn't be a more repulsive guy than me, so yeah, in that sense, worse than a male prostitute.
...So Neria calling me a male prostitute wasn't meant with any real malice.
But that didn't mean I could just meekly accept everything else she said.
Stunned by the bewildering treatment for a moment, I hurriedly spoke up as she finished her piece and spun around.
"Yes, Apprentice Witch Neria? I understand the Witch Lady's intentions, but even if we hide it, it'll all come out eventually..."
"It's fine. If you act well enough, both you and I survive."
"What do you...?"
"You tried really hard, but in the end, Neria still couldn't get used to men. Something like that in the report—who's gonna argue? Right?"
Wrong.
The head of this crumbling, shabby department—Team Leader—could use 'magic to read other people's thoughts,' or something like it. I wasn't exactly sure.
Pulling off some lame act in front of a witch like that? No way it'd work.
It'd just lead to harsher punishment, obviously.
"Then you keep your job, and I don't have to do weird stuff with a guy for no reason. Win-win."
But Neria, unaware of that fact, smirked smugly, clearly thinking her plan was genius.
On the flip side, I was so flabbergasted I could barely think straight, but to her, I must've looked like a cockroach-level ignoramus enlightened by the great archwitch.
She laughed even more satisfied, then shooed me away like I was a fly.
"If you get it, go hang out in that room. Out of my generosity, I even tossed in some comics, so use 'em if you want. Nap if you like. Play some games, and in about three hours, I'll wake you."
With that, Neria headed off to another room far away.
She'd at least been somewhat polite over the intercom, but now she'd dropped even that half-baked formality. I stared for a second.
Then, standing near the entrance, I stepped forward quickly to block her path.
"No can do."
"Hey. Move aside. You're doing this job half because you wanna try it with a witch anyway, right?"
"......"
"Plenty of other witches out there. Go spread their legs. Rack up results that way?"
It was more like eighty percent, but whatever.
Not the time for that conversation, so I pretended I didn't hear and continued.
"Neria. I'm not saying this out of some sense of duty for the job—my boss is a witch like you... No matter how hard I act, it'll all come out in the end. For reference, Team Leader picked me herself for this."
"A witch? Huh, must be sharp."
"From what I can tell, she probably uses mind-reading magic..."
"...What? No way that broken OP magic exists in the world."
"Pardon?"
"She's just got killer intuition. Means if you act better, it's solvable."
Is that how it was?
No, wait.
This wasn't the time to be shocked by Neria's explanation.
If things went like this, I'd end up like that senior—what number was he again?—who got treated like a pet and transferred out.
To see a new ending, I had to get the first button right.
"Then, Neria."
"What now, pest?"
"I humbly report, if I may be so bold, that actually..."
"Hey. What do you take witches for? No need for weird historical drama talk—just speak politely enough."
"...It's embarrassing to say, but actually..."
"Actually, what."
"I kinda like games."
"...Huh. Games?"
"Yes."
"Ahh~ Right, right. Civil Servant Nam Dowon likes games, got it?"
Not it. Too rushed, huh.
Before regret could flood in, Neria's hand reached toward my chest.
Not to punch my solar plexus or anything—my civil servant ID was dangling right there.
She grabbed it, skimmed it roughly, muttered "Nam Dowon" briefly, then looked up at me again.
She yanked the ID, forcing me to bend at the waist, and said,
"Hey. Idiot."
"......"
"Think I'd wanna game with you? I see right through your tricks."
"......"
"Even if the sky falls, no way I'm hoho-ing games with you, so get lost to that room I told you about. Before I get mad."
"......"
"Answer me."
"...Yes. Got it."
No words left to say.
"Looks like Dowon failed on his first day too. From what I hear about Neria, she's quite the tomboy..."
About three hours of confinement later.
Kicked out of Neria's place with a "time to go," I had no choice but to return to City Hall empty-handed.
Not without a parting "act better" lecture on the way out, of course.
But no matter how hard someone like me acted, Team Leader would see through it right away (magic or intuition).
Piling up lies with no real progress? Meaningless.
Right after confessing straight to Team Leader, those words came with a warm cup of instant coffee.
She sighed regretfully toward me, as if she'd half-expected it.
"I figured someone like you, Dowon, could've eaten her up quick, but nope. Abandonment play from day one, even..."
...Setting aside the blunt "eat her up" talk, interpreting it as abandonment play—wasn't that overly optimistic?
I wanted to push back a bit, but maybe she was teasing to console me in her own way.
I just tilted the paper cup silently.
"Anyway, regret's regret. What'd you think of Neria in person? As pretty as the photo? Your type?"
"...Ah, yes. She was pretty."
Just pretty?
Team Leader in front of me now, and Neria just earlier.
Witches had something beyond mere beauty that words couldn't fully capture.
A pure white T-shirt bulging prominently at the chest, loose fit.
Leggings with black side panels traced in the same white lines.
And by the time I was getting chased out, the black jersey she'd thrown on top.
Outfits that'd make me look like a total bum, but paired with Neria's striking looks, they didn't seem shabby at all.
To borrow an old expression, "picture-perfect" fit best.
"Glad she's pretty. Nothing bonds faster or stronger than looks for mutual attraction. Bet Neria didn't hate you either?"
"Haha..."
"Next question. Locked up by Neria—were you just mad? Or thinking, 'How dare she lock me up—next time, pound her hard for revenge'?"
"Uh......"
Ask if I'd want sex with a girl like that, and no thinking needed.
Even so, after about a minute, Team Leader scooted her chair with a drrrk and added,
"Closer to the latter, huh?"
"......"
No rebuttal, so I gulped down the innocent coffee.
"Ahem. Your Rehabilitation Support mindset seems solid, but you're still too timid... Shame. I think someone like you could push a bit more aggressively."
"...Honestly, I'm scared I'll end up like my seniors, with joints twisted backward."
"If you get carried away and cross the line, sure. But you're the opposite, Dowon. Not even thinking of approaching the line?"
Hearing it laid out, yeah.
Seniors who groped chests right away, or tried stripping clothes off immediately.
Compared to those weirdos, I was keeping my distance, sure...
But to approach Neria's line without crossing it—just barely—what should I even do?
Lost in thought, another drrrk of chair wheels drew my eyes that way.
"Then let's practice. With me."
"......?"
Just Team Leader and me in Rehabilitation Support.
Chair wheels meant hers.
So this woman sitting primly in perfectly fitted office attire beside me,
this woman eyeing me with ominously glinting golden eyes,
"Imagine I'm an apprentice witch named Eve Lycaon. What would Dowon do first?"
was Team Leader.
Eve Lycaon, no doubt.
"First... um... Ask what she likes?"
"Pfft, isn't that too obvious?"
Figured.
I scratched my neck sheepishly, and Team Leader covered her mouth, chuckling.
"...Sorry."
"No need. Nothing to apologize for. We're Rehabilitation Support—showing your intentions is the point, right?"
"True... Yeah."
"So you'd both know you're there for sex. Best words to close the gap in that case..."
Her answer that followed
wasn't especially helpful to me.
"...Hmm. Tricky. If I were Neria, after a few words with you... I'd just do it."
"......"
"Hell, even if you straight-up said, 'Gonna fuck you hard starting now,' I might not mind?"
"...You're pretty open-minded."
"Heh. Only not in front of handsome guys~"
If anything,
it was the closest thing to workplace sexual harassment.
No gains, so the next day was the same.
Ding-dong—the doorbell. Neria lets me in.
"How'd it go?" "You got duped," or some lip service like that.
Then locked in the room again.
"Hoo..."
Another round of lying on the bed fiddling with my smartphone. I sat by the bedside and let out a deep sigh.
Not the first time, but twice now—it was getting stifling.
I hadn't expected sex right away, but didn't think she'd isolate me the whole visit.
And this could happen three, four, ten more times—dizzying to consider.
Unless I was some loser content with this, I needed a change to escape.
In a way that'd rack up tons of Neria's favor.
"...How."
Pretend to go nuts and slap her cheek?
Classic Korean drama trope came to mind, but would it help? Big question mark.
The "No one's ever treated me like this before!" strategy's backlash on failure was too much.
Plus, usually women slap men, right?
A man slapping a witch might be okay, but...
Anyway.
Excluding that, my only immediate option
was...
"...Just that, huh?"
That.
The "treat" Neria left in this prison.
Nothing but comics.
"...Might as well try."
I grabbed a comic from the shelf and started reading it meticulously, like memorizing lines.