Chapter 40
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 40
Chapter Title: 9. Loser (2)
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"...Are you serious?"
"Yeah. If you can take even a single round from me, I'll acknowledge it."
"...By the way, where on earth did you learn about dirty talk...?"
"Where? It's the standard cliché in all those naughty novels, isn't it?"
"...My goodness."
It turned out she was a girl who had learned about sex from some seriously spicy women-oriented erotica.
Neria gripped the controller right beside me with clumsy, awkward hand movements, her lips moving in a faintly smug expression.
"You wanted to try it too, didn't you? I can tell even without you saying a word!"
"......"
"Your opponent is none other than Neria Heka herself. Ahem. And since you even dared to go for a kiss, you must be dying for me to make you say some really filthy things. Obvious."
"......"
"Come on, shouldn't you thank Lady Neria for caring about even these little details?"
Thinking about it, Neria had only just experienced sex for the first time—once.
Sure, that smug look on her face was pretty infuriating given her inexperience..., but what could I do?
No matter if ten more years passed, it would always be crystal clear who was top dog and who was the underdog between the two of us sitting side by side here.
I gave an awkward smile and bowed my head to "self-proclaimed benevolent ruler" Lady Neria Heka.
"...Thank you, Lady Neria."
"Yeah, yeah. If you get it, keep treating me well from now on. I'm the only reason you're getting treated like a person—if it were any other apprentice witch, you'd be lucky to get pet-level treatment."
Pet treatment. Something I'd briefly fantasized about last time.
In that sense, her self-proclaimed title of benevolent ruler wasn't entirely off-base, as she put it.
Guaranteeing basic human rights to a total idiot who couldn't even use magic—a witch, no less. It was historically significant in its own right.
But the witches I'd met so far.
Like Team Leader Eve or Lady Erzel—they'd treated me pretty decently, each in their own way...
It must just be apprentice witch talk among the immature ones.
Or maybe she just wanted to hype herself up.
I got the gist and let it slide.
"So, for the dirty talk you mentioned earlier, Lady Neria—roughly how intense can we go?"
"...What, are you seriously trying to win?"
"Yes."
"I'll tell you if you actually beat me later. My win probability is 150% anyway."
"Since you've put up such a reward, I can't just roll over. Please see it as me giving my all without giving up."
"Ugh... I see that as pigheaded stubbornness, not grit..."
"...Your explanations are getting longer. Getting a little nervous?"
"...Huh? That's how you wanna play it?"
Just to test the waters, I poked a bit, and she immediately rolled up her jersey sleeves.
Her pale arms—untouched by sunlight—contrasted sharply with the dark fabric and drew my eye.
This skin was something else.
Not just Neria, but Erzel's exposed skin was exactly the same shade.
Witches, supposedly molded by the moon—why was every tiny detail so damn alluring?
At this rate, they felt more like succubi from some fantasy than actual witches...
"Intensity? Go wild—whatever you want!"
"Is that really okay?"
"Do it. I'll win no matter what."
"For example... would it be alright to ask you to speak politely to me?"
"Speak politely to you? Piece of cake. Sure."
"Just checking. As you said, that's not exciting enough..., ...ah, what about ordering me to call you 'Master'?"
"Doesn't matter. Seen it a ton in novels."
"Then..."
"What else you gonna ask? I said anything goes."
I tried laughing it off—thud—a small, soft fist planted into my side.
Not a stinging blow, so it looked like that diffused it, at least.
Eager to get started, Neria fiddled the gamepad to pull up the character select screen.
One-handed operation made it clumsy as ever, but she picked without complaint anyway.
Then, flashing that smug look again,
she nudged my ankle with her toes.
"Come at me, noob."
To be brutally honest.
Right before facing off against Neria, I'd naively thought my odds were at least 20%...
Such a cute little delusion.
'...This is total noob-stomper trash-tier.'
Result: 0 wins, 15 losses.
Or was it 16?
After 10, counting got fuzzy, so maybe a slight margin of error.
But the loss count didn't matter.
What mattered was I hadn't beaten her—not even once.
After notching another defeat, I gritted my teeth and ignored the snickering from beside me.
The sunset long gone, the pitch-black view outside the window made it echo louder than usual. Really had to try hard.
"Who knows~? I'm not a total gaming newbie~"
"......"
Patience. Same age as me, but mentally stuck at middle- or high-school girl level, right?
Besides, getting pummeled by her character now was like preemptive training before dealing with a bunch of apprentice witches.
All part of my fate.
As I calmly steadied my heart, Neria muttered loud enough for me to hear.
"Boring. If you'd actually won, I'd have made you say embarrassing crap from the novels—like 'do it more' or 'give me your semen'."
"......"
Thus, 16 losses. Or 17.
One more zipped by in a flash, and now I had to listen to her side advice: quit messing around.
So thoroughly crushed, I had zero motivation left to retry.
Finally, I meekly set down the controller—and Neria beamed, snatching it back.
Thrashing a total newbie must've been that fun; she looked like every last bit of stress had melted away.
"Ah, I should've decided your penalty for losing too, Nam Dowon."
"Losing to you is the default, Lady Neria. What would be the point...?"
"You gotta pay up for messing with me, right?"
Stress relieved or not, she clearly wanted something from me.
Standing from the bed we'd been using like chairs, Neria stretched with a light 'Eut eut at—' and proclaimed regally.
"Next time, I'll make you say the dirty talk."
"You... to me?"
...Did spending the whole day beating on me accidentally awaken some sadistic streak?
Light-years from my tastes.
"Just seems like it'd be fun. You against it?"
Maybe my feelings showed on my face—Neria asked back in a slightly deflated tone.
She'd just been laying down the law about "paying the price."
True nature doesn't change, huh.
"Not against it, just worried. What on earth will the genius Lady Neria—Lady Erzel's favorite—make me say...?"
"S-Sudden bootlicking won't sway me! And like I said, just dirty talk. Haven't tried it myself, but novels make it sound effective."
"Effective how...?"
"Gets you horny."
"...Blunt as ever."
Arousal is a big deal during sex, fair enough.
I nodded without argument—then Neria rummaged by the bedside and slyly grabbed something.
Her smartphone.
So out of place for a witch. She tapped away, then thrust her arm out to show me the screen she'd been eyeing.
"Let's test it lightly. This is the one I mentioned seeing before? It's in my purchase history."
The erotica she learned sex from.
Embarrassing topic, but we'd already crossed that bridge with our first time, so fine, I guess.
"...Title's brutal right off the bat. Chapter 1 looks like the guy imprisons the girl."
"Oh, how'd you know? You read it too?"
"No..."
But the cover screams it.
Doberman-lookin' guy gripping the woman's wrist with a faint smile.
Tedious to explain, so I mumbled, "Lucky guess."
She eyed me curiously, then swiped through like flipping pages, hunting for something.
After a short wait, her finger stopped somewhere, and she showed me a scene from the novel.
"Stuff like this. Hate it?"
"......"
And inevitably,
it was a scene that screamed erotic novel.
I flapped my mouth open and shut alone for a bit before finally managing a reply.
"You... like this kind of thing?"
"...Well, first impression was kinda gross, honestly..."
"Then why pick this one...?"
"......"
"Lady Neria?"
"I-I seriously hated it at first, thinking sex would hurt right away, but you were so gentle the whole time..., ...it wasn't bad."
"......"
"So, don't judge it too harshly upfront—trying all sorts might help me figure out my tastes. Yeah."
"...I see."
If that's what Neria wanted, I'd oblige.
"Alright, I'll give it a shot."
"......Yeah."
"I'm just reading the novel's lines, so please don't take it personally..."
"Ah, I know! Just do it! I told you to—why would I get mad at you? I'm not a psycho!"
"...Sorry."
"And stand up to do it. You need to loom over me for the vibe."
Having issued her directive, Neria flopped back onto the bed opposite me.
I stood, clutching her smartphone.
Glancing at the screen again to confirm the "highly suspect" line.
...Looking down at Neria, who'd embarrassingly zipped her jersey up to her chin.
Here goes.
"...I wish you'd get your place straight."
"......"
"...Unless you wanna spend tonight on cold stone instead of a soft bed."
"......"
"Shut your mouth and spread your pussy nice and obedient, you dumb bitch."
"......"
"......"
"......"
The verdict? Obvious the second I read it.
0.001 out of 10.
She snatched the phone away with a huff, vowing never to ask again.