I'm an Inquisitor, and You're a Heretic, Part 6
"The Primary God has not shown her face for at least a thousand years, and the high clergy who claim to follow her are corrupt to the core, pursuing personal gain instead of justice!"
Slam! This time, it was Agnes who violently struck the dining table. Poor Billy flinched, and even Yohan jumped in surprise.
"In times like these, the Goddess—who was originally one with the Primary God—has descended to the mortal realm, lamenting the current state of the world!"
Slam! Agnes struck the table once more. Her face was flushed with intense emotion, bordering on a touch of madness.
"If this isn't our chance to correct a Church that has strayed from the path, then what is? Does the Goddess not desire a holy war to raise the defiled banner of justice once more?!"
Is this woman out of her mind? Yohan turned his head to lock eyes with the Goddess.
"Hey, is that really what you're thinking? You don't just want to gather some followers and live in peace? You actually want to wage war against the Holy Kingdom?" Yohan asked.
Of course, as the Church of the Unnamed Goddess grew in power, friction with the Holy Kingdom would be inevitable. But declaring an outright war was taking things a bit too far. At least, that was how Yohan saw it.
"A-A holy war... Correcting... Justice... Ohhhhh!"
"Hey! Snap out of it!"
But even the Goddess seemed completely swept up by Agnes's demagogic rhetoric.
"God, this is driving me crazy."
You can really tell she's from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. She's terrifyingly good at brainwashing people with words. Yohan let out a hollow laugh, utterly dumbfounded.
"T-That's amazing."
"A holy war led by the Goddess of Justice..."
The Goddess wasn't the only one spellbound by Agnes. Falco and Billy looked deeply moved, their eyes actually tearing up. Hearing those reactions from both sides was enough to make Yohan's blood boil.
"Calm down, Yohan. A holy war doesn't necessarily mean we have to slaughter our enemies and shed blood."
Just as Yohan was about to blow a fuse, Agnes read his expression and spoke in a much calmer tone.
"No matter how strayed the Church may be, pointing blades at our brothers and sisters under the pretext of correcting them is not justice—it is mere madness."
Fortunately, she wasn't the unhinged, warmongering psychopath Yohan had feared. It seemed her use of "holy war" was just a dramatic figure of speech.
"Tsk. You should have said so from the start."
Yohan grumbled, letting out a soft sigh.
"Fine. A holy war, then."
In truth, Yohan didn't completely disagree with Agnes's sentiment. More than anything, now that Agnes had joined their party, the possibilities for the Church of the Unnamed Goddess had expanded significantly.
"Ahem. Everyone, attention."
Yohan cleared his throat to draw their focus. At his cue, Agnes, along with the Goddess—who had been half-dazed in her own world—instantly turned their eyes toward him.
"You know, a game doesn't only end in a military conquest. There's science, culture, diplomacy, and... a religious victory."
Everyone tilted their heads in confusion at Yohan's words.
"Hey, dummy. Do you remember what we discussed before regarding our doctrine?"
"Yes. I remember," the Goddess replied with a nod.
"We talked about establishing our doctrine and compiling scriptures. We wanted to do it, but we haven't been able to put it into action. Why do you think that is?"
"You ask the obvious. It is because our circumstances did not allow for it... Oh!"
The Goddess stopped mid-sentence as a sudden realization struck her, her eyes widening.
"I see. I understand what you are planning."
"Heheh. Pretty good, right?"
"A splendid idea indeed. Ehehe..."
Yohan and the Goddess exchanged mischievous, slightly sinister grins. After a brief moment, the Goddess composed herself and turned back to Agnes.
"Agnes. We require your vast knowledge to establish the doctrine of our Church and compile our scriptures."
Over the next few hours, Yohan explained everything—from the moment he first met the Goddess to the present day. He detailed how her goal was to spread the Church of the Unnamed Goddess, and how he, as her Apostle, had been granted the authority to wield her divine power.
"I see. I understand. So you're saying we need to establish a proper structure as a legitimate religion from now on."
"Exactly," Yohan agreed, nodding at Agnes's summary.
Currently, the Church of the Unnamed Goddess had a fancy title but almost no substance. Their entire congregation consisted of a handful of villagers in a tiny mountain valley, and while those villagers were devout, they didn't engage in any structured religious activities.
"Still, I feel a bit of a pang in my conscience."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it feels like I've dragged someone with a bright future like you down to the rock bottom with us."
Yohan and Agnes exchanged a brief conversation.
Smack!
"Ow!"
Out of nowhere, the Goddess dashed over like lightning and delivered a stinging slap to Yohan's back.
"Dragged down to rock bottom?! How dare you insult your own deity by calling her 'rock bottom'!"
Yohan could only blink in sheer bewilderment at the Goddess's furious scolding. Watching this play out, Agnes's surprised expression quickly gave way to a chuckle.
"Pfft... It doesn't matter. I've harbored doubts about the Central Church for a long time. Now that I've learned the hidden truth through the Goddess, I have no reason to look back."
"W-Well, that makes me feel a bit better then. Ow, damn, that actually stung."
"In fact, my mind is completely at ease now. Because I've confirmed with my own eyes that a true deity stands right before me."
Agnes wasn't smiling just because Yohan and the Goddess's bickering was amusing. There was a deeper meaning behind her smile, and realizing this, Yohan felt a strange wave of emotion.
In this world, multiple gods truly existed. Yet, the followers of the Central Church who worshipped Justia, the Goddess of Justice, never had the chance to meet the deity they believed in. Even if a god communicated with their believers in the form of a "voice," that was a miracle granted only to an elite few.
For Agnes, this religious group—which didn't even have a proper system yet—was ironically the one place where her heart could truly find peace.
"At any rate, the idea of not just blindly printing scriptures, but disguising them as educational literature for the upper class is quite brilliant."
"Haha, right?"
Yes. Keep praising me. Look up to me more. Yohan snorted, puffing out his chest in self-satisfaction.
"It's a method frequently used by demon worshippers. Which only proves how effective it is."
"......"
Yohan's smug expression instantly deflated.
Well, she was technically praising the sheer efficiency of the method, so he supposed he should take it as a compliment, but still...
"Then we need to establish the specific doctrines, write the scriptures, and build a foundation to distribute them... The doctrines themselves won't differ much from the Central Church's, but do we have the capital and facilities to print and distribute these books?"
Ultimately, almost everything in the world came down to money. Establishing the doctrine wouldn't be too difficult with the Goddess, Agnes, and Yohan putting their heads together. However, printing books containing those doctrines and scattering them across the continent required a massive amount of funds and infrastructure.
"Yeah, we do."
Yohan nodded vigorously at Agnes's question.
"We'll make money, and hunt for sacred relics along the way."
"Hearing you say that sparks my interest as well. Tell me more," the Goddess chimed in.
She interrupted Yohan's explanation.
"You remember that gang of grave robbers and bandits we beat up last time, right?"
When Yohan asked, the Goddess and Falco nodded in unison.
"Yes. I also remember very clearly how you tripped and faceplanted when you tried to jump off the carriage."
Damn pointy-eared elf. Even that campsite worker he met before had said elves possessed incredible memories, and this one was proving it in the worst way.
"Anyway, why do you think we have a decent amount of cash on hand right now? It's because we rightfully confiscated it after beating those guys up."
"So, in short, we track down criminals, beat them to a pulp, and take their valuables."
"Exactly. And while we're at it, we can look for sacred relics to feed our Goddess."
In truth, once the number of believers in the Church of the Unnamed Goddess grew, they wouldn't need to go out of their way to hunt for sacred relics. The Goddess had only been eating them to extend her fading lifespan in the first place. Still, Yohan figured it was better to keep looking than not.
"The idea itself is sound, but how do we locate these criminal hideouts, and how do we liquidate the stolen goods into cash?"
Agnes raised a valid point, but Yohan had already prepared answers for all of it.
"Don't worry. Who do you think we are?"
Yohan said, casting a sly smirk at Falco. Falco immediately looked like she wanted to throw up.
"Just as Yohan said, we have our ways. As we mentioned earlier, we're from the wilderness."
After all, the two of us used to be part of a tomb-robbing crew under the Undercity Family. Yohan nodded to himself.
"Yohan. Why don't we just take over the Balifield Underworld while we're at it?"
Falco offered an ambitious suggestion, but Yohan shook his head.
"I thought about that too, but wouldn't it look a bit bad for the Apostle of a Goddess to be running a criminal syndicate?"
Therefore... Yohan suddenly stood up and planted one foot squarely on the dining table.
"We become noble bandits—righteous thieves. We hunt down the bastards who prey on the weak, beat them up, and instead of keeping all the loot for ourselves, we share it with places like Junk Town."
A leader, a mascot, and three vanguard members who were so distinct they would stand out anywhere.
"S-So, Yohan is the leader, right?"
"Of course."
Billy, who had been quiet until now, spoke up with sparkling eyes. It seemed the concept of "righteous thieves" had struck a chord with his inner child. Falco, on the other hand, wore a deeply dissatisfied expression for some reason.
"What is it now? If you have something to say, spit it out."
"Even so, we are the congregation of the Church of the Unnamed Goddess. Calling ourselves a band of thieves is a bit much."
Falco shot back instantly. The Goddess and Agnes nodded in agreement.
"Hmm, I suppose you have a point."
It wasn't a bad point. Yohan conceded to Falco's argument.
"So, I think we should use a more dignified name."
"Like what?"
"An order of knights. Let's establish the 'Goddess Knights' as an affiliate of the Church of the Unnamed Goddess."
This girl definitely had this planned from the very beginning. Otherwise, she wouldn't have come up with that answer so quickly.
"Ugh..."
Yohan groaned. He couldn't help but feel that calling themselves an order of knights was far too embarrassing and pretentious.
"Tsk, I'm against it..."
Yohan voiced his honest opinion. However, Falco showed no intention of backing down.
"Fine. Let's settle this fairly with a vote."
Yohan stepped down from the table and sat back in his seat.
"One vote per person. Raise your hand to choose. Got it?"
Everyone nodded at his instructions.
"Alright. Raise your hand if you prefer being called a band of thieves."
Yohan thrust his hand into the air the second the words left his mouth. But everyone else just blinked at him in silence.
"Sigh... F-Fine. Raise your hand if you prefer an order of knights."
Rustle—
This time, every single person except Yohan raised their hand. The Goddess even went so far as to wave both of her hands vigorously in the air, completely ignoring Yohan's "one vote per person" rule.
"It's decided then. From now on, we are the Goddess Knights."
Falco said with a satisfied smile. Meanwhile, Yohan could only bury his face in his hands.