The Thrill of Shared Revenge
They say shared sorrow is halved, and shared joy is doubled. And the thrill of revenge, when shared, is quadrupled.
"Hehehe..." Yohan let out a sinister chuckle as he plotted his revenge against the grave robbers inside the hideout. If Falco was right, there were currently five of them inside.
"The pointy-ear speaks the truth. There are three in the basement and two on the ground floor."
"Nice." Even though Yohan hadn't asked, the Goddess had gone ahead and sensed the number of life signs inside the building.
"Hey, by the way, I'm really jealous of that wall-hack vision. Can't you share some of that with me?" After a moment of admiration, Yohan asked out of curiosity. The Goddess tilted her head in response.
"Are you not my Apostle? If you truly desire it, you may wield this level of Authority as much as you please."
"Ah." So I can do it too. Nice, I'll have to practice that later, Yohan thought to himself.
"Alright, back to business." It was time to figure out how to wreck the bastards inside. Yohan turned to Falco, who had been staring at him this whole time.
"First off, we've got some time before the guys who threw me in the pit get back. So let's clear out the ones inside first, then set up some traps."
"Good idea." Falco eagerly agreed. Since they had both nearly been murdered by those backstabbing grave robbers, her enthusiasm was completely understandable.
"The ones inside won't even dream that we're still alive, so it'd be best to sneak in and take them out one by one." She even started drawing up a detailed plan of her own. But Yohan shook his head.
"No, we'll save the stealth for when the main raiding party returns. For now..."
"Instead of launching a cowardly ambush, we shall march right in and take their heads!" The Goddess suddenly cut Yohan off. Her phrasing was incredibly violent, but since it aligned perfectly with what he was about to say, Yohan didn't bother arguing.
"Her... choice of words is surprisingly violent," Falco remarked on the Goddess's phrasing. Hearing this, Yohan secretly hoped Falco would give the Goddess a piece of her mind.
"I like it."
These guys are all out of their minds. It turned out Yohan's hopes were entirely in vain. Just when he thought someone was finally reacting with a bit of common sense, she went and agreed with her. Yohan shook his head in exasperation.
"Whew. Anyway, let's get moving." Yohan stood up. At that moment, the Goddess's physical form dissolved like smoke.
"Yeah, yeah." Yohan figured she was probably just scared of facing the enemy directly and chose to hide. But he quickly realized that wasn't the case.
The only reason she had returned to her spiritual form was for her own twisted amusement.
Using the pouring rain as cover, Yohan and Falco made their way to the front door of the hideout.
"How's it looking inside?" Yohan whispered to the Goddess.
At her answer, Yohan pressed his ear to the crack in the door. Sure enough, the muffled voices of the grave robbers chatting idly leaked through.
"Must be nice having nothing to worry about," Falco muttered angrily from behind him. Yohan was just as pissed off. He gave Falco a firm nod, then boldly knocked on the door with the back of his hand.
"Hey, did you hear a knock?"
"What, are they back already?" Footsteps approached from the other side of the door.
"Who is it?" The moment Yohan confirmed the grave robber was standing right behind the wooden door—
"Knock, knock! Who's there? It's me, motherfucker!"
Crash! Yohan roared as he delivered a devastating kick to the door with his booted foot. The rotting wooden door didn't just splinter; it completely shattered, sending sharp fragments flying in every direction.
Slam! The grave robber, blasted backward by the impact along with the shards of the door, crashed violently against the stone wall and slumped to the floor, instantly knocked cold.
The Goddess cheered in excitement, but Yohan ignored her and stepped straight into the hideout.
"W-what the hell?! Who are you?!" the other grave robber shrieked, leaping up from his seat.
"Justice, you son of a bitch!" Yohan bellowed, throwing a righteous punch of pure vengeance. He started with a swift jab to the face, followed by a rapid-fire combination to the chest and gut.
"Head, chest, gut!" Having his entire body pulverized in a split second, the grave robber collapsed to the floor, his face caved in and ribs shattered.
"Whew." Yohan wanted to make absolutely sure he repaid the grudge of being stabbed in the back and thrown into a pit. The first guy who got blasted with the door and the second guy he just beat to death were the lucky ones. He wouldn't let the rest off so easily. I'll make them feel the agonizing weight of a betrayal by those they called comrades. Yohan gnashed his teeth, his eyes burning with malice.
"Hey, Falco," Yohan said, shaking out his tingling knuckles. "I know sneaking in and taking them out one by one is technically the most efficient way, but..."
Clatter! Just then, a loud commotion echoed from behind the door leading to the basement stairs.
"What's going on up there?"
"Did those idiots lose another bet and smash the table again?" The door swung open, and three grave robbers from the basement emerged.
"..." The trio froze solid at the sight of the gruesome scene on the ground floor. Yohan and Falco also kept quiet, sizing them up.
"But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I didn't want to do this like some petty coward." Breaking the silence, Yohan finally turned his gaze toward the three grave robbers.
"Wait a minute... isn't that Yohan?"
"Didn't they say they took care of him?"
"And who's the short one next to him?" The grave robbers quickly whispered among themselves as they recognized Yohan's face. Without wasting any time, the three of them drew their weapons from their belts.
"Hehehe. I don't know how you crawled back here, but the boss's orders were to clean up any loose ends."
"You heard him. Don't take it personally."
"Hey, you bastards, I asked who the kid next to him is!" A dagger, a hand axe, and a club. Armed with their respective weapons, the three grave robbers closed in on Yohan. Of course, the ones in actual danger were the grave robbers, not Yohan.
"Yohan." As Yohan was contemplating how best to tear these three apart, Falco suddenly leaned in and whispered in his ear.
"Yeah, what is it?" Yohan turned his head. Falco pointed a finger at the grave robber holding the club.
"Leave the third one alive. The one who just spoke."
"Uh... sure." She probably wanted to handle that one herself. Yohan nodded in agreement.
"Ah, shut up! I'm doing it!" The Goddess's nagging in his head was getting on his nerves, and Yohan snapped back irritably.
Dash! In the blink of an eye, Yohan closed the distance at a speed he could never have achieved under normal circumstances. Honestly, using divine power just to move a bit faster felt like a waste, but given how little Divine Power the Goddess had left, he didn't have much of a choice. Besides, rather than trying to manifest some abstract Authority he barely understood to judge these scumbags, beating them to a pulp with his bare fists was infinitely more satisfying.
"Don't take it personally, huh?"
"W-what?!" Before they could even react, Yohan was standing right in front of two of the grave robbers. He reached out, grabbed both of their heads, and slammed them together.
Crack! With a sickeningly crisp crunch, the two grave robbers died instantly, slipping from Yohan's grasp and collapsing limply to the floor. Who knew crushing a human skull could make such a satisfying sound? Yohan felt a thrill run through his fingertips.
"Y-you crazy bastard!" Instead of running away, the third grave robber bravely swung his club, attempting to avenge his fallen comrades.
"Gah!" But while his attention was entirely focused on Yohan, Falco swept in and kicked the back of his knee, sending him crashing to the floor. And she didn't stop there.
Thud! She delivered a brutal kick straight into the ribs of the sprawling grave robber, completely crushing any will to resist.
"Kehh-!" It was a strike that made even the onlooker wince. Having his ribs pierced by the toe of her boot, the grave robber couldn't even draw a proper breath, his body convulsing on the floor. Falco then took the very rope they had used to bind her limbs earlier and expertly tied the grave robber up.
"Oh..." Has she done this before? Yohan was secretly impressed by her flawless technique.
"Alright. Ready." Falco sat the grave robber on a wooden chair and gave a couple of light nods.
"I-I don't know what you're planning, but I've got nothing to tell—"
Smack! The moment the grave robber regained enough wits to speak, Falco's fist buried itself deep into his abdomen.
"Cough-!" The sudden blow to his stomach made the grave robber instantly retch up gastric juices.
At the same time, the Goddess cheered inside Yohan's head.
Thud! Bam! With an expressionless face, Falco continued to pummel the outlaw. It was a display of sheer ruthlessness that sent a slight shiver down Yohan's spine.
"Ugh..." Only after beating the grave robber to the point where not a single inch of his body was left unbruised did Falco finally stop, wiping her blood-stained knuckles and letting out a soft sigh.
"Now, time for some questions." Wait, what? I thought she was just letting off steam, but she's actually interrogating him? Yohan watched in silence.
"I-I don't know anything! Please, spare me!" For the grave robber, the fact that they were even talking was a blessing. Hot tears streamed down his swollen cheeks.
"I don't care how much you know," Falco said, looking down at him. Yohan had always thought of her as just a slightly dirty, gloomy elf, but she was actually terrifying. His perception of Falco was undergoing a massive shift.
"All that matters is whether you know what I want."
"W-what do you..."
"Tell me the password to the safe in the basement."
So that was it. Yohan finally realized why Falco had insisted on keeping one alive. The hideout's basement was where they stored all their looted goods. The smaller, highly valuable treasures—like ancient gold coins that had lost their currency value but were prized by collectors, and various precious metals—were kept in a separate safe.
"I-if I tell you, will you let me live?"
"..." Instead of answering, Falco slowly raised her foot and positioned it right between the grave robber's thighs. She made a subtle motion as if she were about to stomp down. It was a silent, terrifying threat: say anything stupid, and I'll crush your balls.
"Hieeeek!" Instantly catching her drift, the grave robber turned pale and whimpered.
"Spit it out. Now."
"7777! Four sevens!" the grave robber shrieked as Falco's tone grew ice-cold.
"Are you fucking kidding me, you piece of shit?!" Yohan barked, glaring at the man in disbelief. Who would use a password like that?
"I swear to God, it's the truth! No one else around here is trying to steal our stuff anyway! If we made it complicated and forgot it, then what?!"
"Well..." Right. Now that I think about it, these grave robbers are all complete idiots. Yohan recalled a fact he had temporarily forgotten.
"..." And then it hit him: I got backstabbed and outsmarted by these exact same idiots.