Please Allow Me to Be a Righteous Thief Today (5)
"Th-Th-These crazy..."fucking lunatics. Yohan almost spat out a stream of curses but managed to hold it back at the last second.
Calm down. Right now, I'm just an innocent, ignorant farmer...
"Excuse me, but isn't this just a chair for tying people up and torturing them?"
...As if that mattered. He still had to speak his mind. Yohan asked, his expression so grim it looked as if he might summon his Light Sword at any moment.
"Of course not." The low-ranking staff member—no, the apprentice inquisitor—shook his head with a gentle smile.
"It may bear a resemblance to a chair used for binding and interrogating sinners, but it is not used for such purposes. Please, put your mind at ease and take a seat."
The apprentice inquisitor's expression was serene. Yet beneath it lay a faith so devout it bordered on madness.
—I know all too well how foul your temperament is. But considering the hardships you have endured thus far, do try to keep that temper of yours in check.
The Goddess's nagging echoed in his mind. He desperately wanted to give the foolish deity a good smack, but as she said, playing along quietly was his best option for now.
"Whew." To hell with it. Yohan let out a soft sigh and quietly sat down on the torture chair—no, the verification chair.
Clank! As he aligned his hands and feet with the restraints, the motionless iron bands moved on their own, instantly binding Yohan's limbs.
Yohan recognized that the force moving the restraints was not magic, but Miracle Arts.
Though it looked like something designed to strap a person down and sear their chest with a red-hot iron, it was certainly no ordinary torture device.
"Now, we shall begin the verification immediately. There is no need for concern, so please relax. As long as you are not tainted by heresy or evil, this tor—cough, verification chair will not harm you in the slightest."
"Hey! Hey!" This bastard definitely just said the word 'torture'! Yohan yelped in surprise.
Hummmmm— But his shout was completely drowned out by a resonant hum and a brilliant light emanating from the surface of the stone chair.
A light carrying a warm energy illuminated the dim room.
—This energy... Yohan realized that the source of this light was none other than the power of the Primary God, Justia.
Well, it was a device used by a religion that worshipped Justia, so it was only natural for her energy to flow from it.
Yohan shook his head as he watched the white light envelop his entire body.
The light radiating from the chair grew larger and brighter, eventually turning the windowless room as bright as the outdoors at high noon.
It was a truly reverent light, feeling as though the touch of a righteous goddess was wrapping around his entire body. It was so soothing that even Yohan found his anger quickly dissipating, replaced by a calm composure.
After a few more seconds, the restraints binding Yohan's limbs released with a sharp click, and the white aura swirling around the chair vanished as if evaporating into thin air.
Nothing else happened. The apprentice inquisitor didn't brand Yohan with a hot iron or force him to drink boiling water.
Just like when Annie had him wet his hands with holy water back in Junk Town, it passed without any incident.
"Th-This is..." Meanwhile, the apprentice inquisitor watching this had a look of utter shock on his face.
Yohan felt a smug sense of satisfaction seeing the creepy smile wiped clean off the bastard's face.
"Well, are we done... now?" Yohan brushed himself off, stood up, and asked the apprentice inquisitor.
But for some reason, the inquisitor could only blink in stunned silence, his face pale with shock.
Crash! After a moment of paralysis, he scrambled over to Yohan and grabbed him by the wrist.
"C-Come! We must go at once!"
"H-Hold on! What's wrong with you, mister?"
The apprentice inquisitor dragged Yohan along. However, by no stretch of the imagination did he look like he was dragging a heretic away to be executed.
"Quickly! Hurry! I must escort you to His Eminence the Cardinal immediately!"
"...And that concludes the investigation report."
"It seems there were no major anomalies."
"Yes. However, we encountered and eliminated a low-level devil near the surveyed area."
"Good work. You must be exhausted from the long journey, so go on and get some rest."
Having finished her report, Annie immediately left the Grand Inquisitor's office.
Despite her report being laced with falsehoods, the Grand Inquisitor hadn't suspected a thing.
To begin with, the appearance of a low-level devil in the remote borderlands was hardly shocking news to the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.
Furthermore, the demon from Pandemonium lurking beneath Balifield had been beaten to death by Yohan himself, and the low-level devils that raided Junk Town had only been pursuing Yohan, having no interest in the town itself.
Therefore, the Central Church would now lose interest in the Balifield region.
For the Church of the Unnamed Goddess, which had a village of believers nestled somewhere in the southwestern part of the continent near Balifield, this was the best possible outcome.
A village of believers. Falco and Billy were probably doing a fine job with the tasks Yohan had left them.
Annie pictured the two of them working hard to grow the trees.
"Whew." Stopping in the middle of the corridor, Annie let out a soft sigh.
She was exhausted. It was just as the Grand Inquisitor had said. Although she had taken breaks along the way, the fatigue from several days of long-distance travel still weighed heavily on her.
Even so, she couldn't just lie down and rest. From this point on, she had to regroup with Yohan, who was somewhere in the Congregation building, and infiltrate the Secret Archives.
Annie returned to her room, which had been left vacant for quite some time.
Inside her quarters, various items and books she had collected while active as Heresy Inquisitor Agnes were stored.
She immediately grabbed a backpack hanging in the corner of the room and began packing it with books.
Most of them were texts related to the Central Church, which boasted a history spanning thousands of years. They would serve as excellent reference material for compiling the scriptures of the Church of the Unnamed Goddess.
There was no need to pack anything else. It wasn't as if she had any items of sentimental value here.
If she had to name one thing... perhaps a lingering attachment to the baptismal name 'Agnes.'
The headmaster of the seminary had reached out to help her when she was on the verge of expulsion, having failed to manifest Miracle Arts despite her dream of becoming a priest.
Though he had passed away several years ago, having fulfilled his mortal span, he remained a benefactor deeply enshrined in Annie's heart.
"Alright." Annie set the backpack full of books right next to the bedroom door.
Now, she just had to meet back up with Yohan, pretend to feed him information about the Central Church, and bide her time for the perfect opportunity.
She opened the door and stepped outside, making her way down to the first floor of the Congregation building.
"I'm looking for the man I brought in earlier. His purity verification should be finished by now."
"Ah, Inquisitor. About that..."
She stopped a passing staff member to ask about Yohan's whereabouts, but for some reason, the man hesitated, trailing off.
"Is there a problem? Speak up."
"Yes, well... the man you brought in is currently..."
"Inquisitor Agnes!"
Just as she was waiting for the staff member to answer, a voice suddenly called out her baptismal name from a distance.
"Pant... Th-There you are."
An apprentice inquisitor ran up to her, panting heavily. Meanwhile, the staff member Annie had stopped quickly slipped away.
"What is it? Is it urgent?"
"The... The Director is looking for you."
The 'Director' referred to the Cardinal who headed the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.
A high-ranking prelate who commanded every clergyman in the Congregation, including Annie's direct superior, the Grand Inquisitor.
Why would such a high-ranking figure suddenly summon her? Annie knit her brows slightly.
"L-Let us go first. I will explain on the way."
"Very well."
Annie immediately headed to the top floor of the main Congregation building with the apprentice inquisitor.
"The man you brought in earlier... do you remember him?"
Annie nodded at the apprentice's question.
"Of course. In fact, I was just looking for him to personally teach him about our Church."
Did our leader fail to control his temper and cause a scene already? Annie wondered, but quickly shook her head.
No. No matter how hot-headed Yohan could be, he wasn't that stupid. If anything, he was exceptionally skilled at thinking on his feet.
"W-Well, although you personally vouched for his identity, protocol is protocol, so we verified his purity before assigning him quarters."
"And?"
"Well... a brilliant light erupted from the verification chair. It was so bright that, for a moment, the entire room was illuminated as if it were broad daylight."
I see. Annie instantly understood why the Director of the Congregation had summoned her.
Click.
"Ah, you've arrived. I have been waiting for you."
Stepping into the Director's office, she saw several familiar faces.
The current Director of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Cardinal Paulus.
The Grand Inquisitor, whom she had just reported her investigation results to.
And... the leader who absolutely detested being called 'leader.'
"Yohan," Annie said, looking at Yohan, who was sitting right in the middle of the office. Yohan offered her an inscrutable smile.
"Close the door quickly and come take a seat. We have an urgent matter to discuss with you."
At Cardinal Paulus's instruction, Annie nodded and took an empty seat.
"Heresy Inquisitor Agnes. You stated that you discovered this man in the remote southwestern borderlands of the continent and guided him to our Holy Kingdom, correct?"
"Yes, Your Eminence. Though he was merely an uneducated farmer from the backwaters, he showed a commendable desire to devote himself to the Central Church after hearing my words."
At Annie's response, the Cardinal beamed and nodded repeatedly.
"The Primary God is truly watching over us."
"What do you mean, Your Eminence?"
She already had a good idea of what was going on. Nevertheless, Annie feigned ignorance and asked with a calm face.
"This man, the farmer Yohan, can perform Miracle Arts despite never having received any teachings from our Church."
At the Cardinal's reply, Yohan's shoulders shook beside her. Annie could tell he was barely holding back a burst of laughter.
"Indeed. It is just like the historical records of His Holiness Pope Theodore IV. Is this not a literal miracle?"
The Cardinal and the Grand Inquisitor rambled on, their faces flushed with excitement.
Pope Theodore IV. A legendary figure who had risen from the ranks of the Holy Knights to personally defeat the Demon King of his era.
"That is truly astonishing. Surely, my dispatch to the southwestern borderlands was also part of the Primary God's divine providence."
Twitch! Yohan's shoulders shook once more at Annie's response.
In truth, Annie was also struggling to keep from laughing. Of course, having been trained as an inquisitor to control her facial expressions and emotions, she didn't shake like Yohan did.
"Therefore, I shall bestow a new mission upon you, who discovered this man and guided him to the Church."
At the Cardinal's words, Annie stood up and assumed a formal posture.
"Originally, you were to work alongside the Holy Knights starting tomorrow to quiet the rumors and unrest within the Holy City, but as you can see, plans have changed."
The Cardinal nodded repeatedly at the Grand Inquisitor's follow-up.
"Heresy Inquisitor Agnes, starting today, you will serve as the senior inquisitor and guide Apprentice Inquisitor Yohan."