Please Allow Me to Be a Righteous Thief Today (1)
"T-That is impossible. The Main God is supposed to be in a deep slumber within the Dormitory of Dormancy inside the Grand Cathedral..."
"My senses do not deceive me. I can clearly feel the presence of the one who was once whole with me."
Annie spoke with a heavily trembling voice, but the Goddess retorted in a cold, detached tone.
"Hey. Explain exactly what you mean by that."
Setting aside the shocking nature of the news, Yohan needed to grasp the situation first. He calmed his racing heart and addressed the Goddess.
"It is exactly as I have spoken. I do not know how, but my other half, the Main God Justia, is currently awake."
"It fits perfectly with the prophecy we talked about yesterday. Since our half just stepped out into the world, it makes sense that the other half, the Main God, woke up right on cue," Yohan added, building on the Goddess's words.
"Indeed... that is true. The circumstances align perfectly."
Yohan's lips curled into a slight smirk. But it was short-lived. Realizing that the current situation was turning extremely unfavorable for them, his face twisted into a deep scowl.
"Ah, shit. Now that I think about it, we are seriously screwed. Doesn't that mean they've noticed us too? What if she has some kind of Goddess radar and figured everything out?"
Even the Unnamed Goddess, who had been on the verge of fading entirely, could sense life forms through walls and earth. What about the Main God Justia, who commanded the faith of millions?
A cold sweat trickled down his spine. If the Main God Justia had indeed sensed their presence, things would get incredibly messy. Thus, even as Yohan asked, he desperately hoped it wasn't the case.
"That is unlikely. The Main God has not yet noticed our presence. It is probably because the entire Holy Capital is overflowing with the exact same energy that you and I wield."
"Whew."
It was the best news he had heard all day. Yohan let out a long sigh of relief.
The Holy Capital Justia was packed with priests performing Miracle Arts, and the massive barrier enveloping the city walls was also maintained by Justia's divinity. Therefore, even if the Goddess and Yohan mingled among them, they essentially wielded the same fundamental power, making it impossible for the Main God Justia to distinguish them.
"For now, it seems only her consciousness has awakened, without any significant activity."
"Well, that's a relief, at least."
"She must have awakened very recently. Having just risen from a long slumber, she is likely still half-asleep. The problem is, we cannot know the reason for it right now..."
"..."
Yohan suddenly recalled how his sleep had been disrupted the previous night by the noisy festival outside his window.
"Hey, dummy."
"I am listening."
"Let's say you were ruling this country and fell into a long sleep."
The Goddess nodded at his hypothetical scenario.
"I see. You wish to assume I am the Main God and deduce the reason for my awakening."
"Yeah. So, you're having a sweet dream, sleeping like a baby, and suddenly there's a massive noise outside. What happens?"
"I would not wake unless it was an exceptionally loud noise. But if it exceeded that threshold, I would indeed wake."
"Right? That's just common sense. Now let's make one more assumption."
As he spoke, a small white flame suddenly flickered to life on the tip of his finger. It was a fragment of the Divine Flame he had unleashed against his enemies.
"You know the distance between the Holy Capital we're in right now and the Great Forest is pretty close, right?"
"Yes. But what does that... Wait."
A look of sudden realization washed over the Goddess's face.
"That Guardian Deity guy went absolutely wild trying to break out of his pocket dimension. He made such a racket that even the elf scouts showed up immediately."
"So the Divine Explosion you triggered back then woke the sleeping Main God."
"It's just a possibility, but yeah," Yohan replied with a grim expression.
"Wait a moment. If the Main God has truly awakened, shouldn't the atmosphere in the Holy Capital be different from usual?"
Annie, who had been listening quietly, raised a question. Her point was valid, prompting both Yohan and the Goddess to nod slowly.
"I have a hunch about that too," Yohan answered on the Goddess's behalf.
"What is it?"
"Let's think about it from the perspective of the church's high-and-mighty higher-ups who run this religion like a business. How would they react to the news that their long-sleeping Main God suddenly woke up?"
The other two fell silent at Yohan's question.
The awakening of the Main God Justia was, in itself, the biggest news of the century—something that would throw the entire Holy Kingdom into a frenzy. Yet, whether in the Holy Capital where the Main God slept or anywhere else in the Holy Kingdom, Yohan's group had not heard a single whisper of such a rumor.
"Either the Papal Palace... hasn't realized it at all, or they are intentionally hiding the fact."
"Probably. And since the big shots up top can't be that dense, the latter is much more likely."
Silence descended upon the room once more. Each of them pondered how they should move forward under the current circumstances.
The deliberation didn't last long. All three arrived at the exact same conclusion.
"No matter how I look at it, there's only one answer," Yohan said.
The Goddess and Annie nodded simultaneously.
"We head to the archives as fast as possible and rob the Original Scriptures."
The Original Scriptures would surely contain the censored prophecies and other details omitted by the church's leadership.
"Heh. In the end, it is no different from what we originally planned."
"Ha, tell me about it."
Just as the Goddess said, they both let out hollow chuckles. They had come to the Holy Capital to steal the Original Scriptures in the first place; now, the justification for committing such a perilous act had only become clearer. Or perhaps, in this case, they were being pushed into a corner.
"We'll sneak it out without a soul knowing, and on our way back, we'll plunder the Divine Weapons too. Maybe not all of them, but we should grab the ones from the places we pass by."
Yohan sprang up from his seat.
"Alright, let's move. Everyone, pack your gear."
He then uttered a line he had always wanted to say at least once.
"What do you mean, 'gear'?"
"Stop talking nonsense and sit down, please. We must formulate a plan to infiltrate the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith."
Unfortunately, neither the Goddess nor Annie humored him.
The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.
As one of the core institutions of the Central Church of the Holy Kingdom, it was responsible for training Heresy Inquisitors, conducting internal audits of the church, and carrying out external investigations.
Due to the nature of its duties, its relationship with other church departments was notoriously strained, though it maintained a decent rapport with the Holy Knights, with whom it frequently cooperated on the front lines.
Because it operated independently from other closely linked institutions, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith housed several sub-departments unknown to outsiders. The Secret Archives, where various forbidden texts were sealed, was one of them.
From books banned because their authors were branded as heretics, to the Original Scriptures and other texts that could never be shown to the public—this was the place where they slept.
Infiltrating such a secure, hidden space to steal the Original Scriptures was, to put it mildly, no easy feat.
"We require a means to enter the Secret Archives. Is there any way?" the Goddess asked after listening to Annie's explanation.
Annie nodded.
"There are two ways. A simple way, and a difficult way."
At her response, both Yohan and the Goddess widened their eyes.
"The first is to slip in during the regular inventory checks of the archive. Since I am technically still an Inquisitor of the Congregation, I am qualified to volunteer for the Secret Archive inspection."
It was certainly a simple and safe method. However, it was not without its flaws.
"So, when is this regular inspection?"
"In about three months."
Of course it was. Yohan and the Goddess clicked their tongues in unison.
"With the Main God awake, we can't afford to wait three months and come back. Sure, we've been to Pater-whatever, so teleporting back would be easy, but we'd still have to pass through the checkpoints to enter the Holy Capital."
If Yohan fully unleashed the Apostle's Authority, punching a hole through the barrier protecting the Holy Capital would be child's play. However, the goal of this trip was to secretly steal the scriptures, not to dismantle the Holy Capital's entire security system. Besides, there was no way the Goddess would ever permit such a loud commotion.
"Mmm. That is indeed true."
Currently, Annie was officially on a mission to investigate the southwestern region of the continent. Furthermore, Yohan had entered the Holy Capital disguised as a new believer. Leaving and attempting to re-enter was simply too risky.
"We shall shelve the first option for now. Tell us of the second method."
"Entering the archive directly without waiting for the regular inspection," Annie replied immediately.
A direct breakthrough. The simplest, yet conversely, the most difficult method.
"The locking mechanism of the Secret Archives is double-secured. To open the door, we need both keys held by the Director of the Congregation and the archivist."
The more they listened, the more impossible it sounded. Even Annie looked grim as she explained.
"Furthermore, even if we have the keys, they must be inserted simultaneously into keyholes spaced two meters apart, and Miracle Arts must be channeled from both sides to release the lock."
"Damn it. Instead of bothering to find the keys, wouldn't it be faster to just smash the door down?"
As Yohan spoke, he summoned his Light Sword.
"You've seen it yourself. One strike from this can pierce through almost any wall."
"That is... true. You did pierce through those thick stone walls and bedrock layers in the Balifield Underworld."
She was subtly bringing up a painful memory.
"Ahem."
Yohan cleared his throat awkwardly and dismissed the Light Sword.
"Alright. Then we infiltrate the Secret Archives at dawn when only the skeleton crew is on guard..."
Yohan suddenly trailed off mid-sentence. The other two tilted their heads in confusion.
"If she woke up just from sensing that blast we set off in the Great Forest, do you really think she won't hear us breaking into her own house's pantry?"
A heavy silence fell over the room.
There was a chance, however small, that the Main God Justia's awakening wasn't caused by the Divine Explosion Yohan had triggered. If so, forcing their way into the Secret Archives using the Light Sword was a viable option.
But the risk of betting on such low odds was far too high. In the worst-case scenario, they would fail to secure the scriptures and end up delivering the Unnamed Goddess straight to Justia on a silver platter.
"How vexing. The risks are far too great whichever path we choose," the Goddess lamented.
The other two shared her sentiment.
"Mmm..."
Yohan crossed his arms, deep in thought.
"Ah."
After a brief moment, as if a lightbulb had gone off, he opened his closed eyes and stood up once more.
"Right now, the people of the Holy Kingdom don't know the Main God has awakened, right?"
"Indeed, but..." Annie replied.
"The higher-ups are cracking down on rumors for now, but they can't keep it a secret forever."
In other words, the Papal Palace was merely buying time. At least, that was Yohan's deduction.
"They'll probably keep this up until they decide the timing is right to announce their Main God's awakening to the public. Which means..."
"Which means?"
He smirked.
"We beat them to the punch."
They would spread the news of Justia's awakening far earlier than the Papal Palace planned, turning the entire Holy Capital into an uncontrollable, chaotic festival.