In This Apocalypse, I Can't Become a Tyrant, Right?
Bang! The fifth gunshot since the Russian Roulette began.
The guillotine match between the last two beast cubs—the rat bastard and the snake bitch—had finally come to an end.
After three misfires as they took turns, the fourth trigger pull on the revolver.
And then, the resounding fifth shot that sealed it.
The rat bastard, glaring at the snake bitch with a face twisted in rage and madness, let out a victory screech.
"Chit!! Chiiik!! Chitchitchitiiiik—!!!!"
Our snake feminist, pulling the trigger with tremors a googolplex times worse than a severe essential tremor patient, had failed to prove her logic and ended up culled in such an ugly display.
"Tch... Coming all the way to the end and still can't prove it? Huh? Pisses me off."
At my mutter, the rat bastard—who had secured first place among the twelve zodiacs through sheer malice, grit, and luck—squeaked timidly again.
"...Chit, chiiik..."
"Yeah... sure. Congrats, rat bastard. As expected, the biggest piece of shit like you survives as the final winner. Well, it was mostly like that even before the apocalypse."
For kind-hearted folks like me to survive long-term... that was extremely rare.
That infuriating law where the bad guys, the rotten ones, the trash always thrived the most? It held true in spades even after this fucked-up apocalypse hit.
This time too—the boss rat bastard surviving to the end was perfect proof.
Is this some kind of luck buff that scales with how evil you are? Hey, hey, System. If that's true, isn't that a bit much?
Even in this utterly fair, merciful arena of equal opportunity...
How the hell did that rat bastard win? For a good person like me, this result was really hard to swallow.
"But a promise is a promise. Hey, rat bastard... no, Jo Pyeong-sin? Yeah, Jo Pyeong-sin. Pyeong-sin. From now on, you're human."
At that, Jo Pyeong-sin—who'd just been promoted from rat bastard to human after killing off his four rivals—puckered his lips in that same timid expression.
"Chii...ik...?"
"Hey. You're human now, kid. You wanna make me say it twice?"
"N-no, sir...!! Thank you, thank you! Receiving such boundless grace from you, Representative! It's the greatest, greatest honor of my worthless life!!"
Thud!Thump! He slammed his head so hard the floor shook.
Watching him, I smacked my lips inwardly.
Fuck. This leaves a bad aftertaste... But as the self-proclaimed merciful saint, I can't break my promise now... Tch.
Glancing at the four beast corpses scattered around, Jo Pyeong-sin's ratty eyes followed mine.
"Ah, Re-Representative! I'll, I'll handle those beast carcasses myself. Heh heh... Can't trouble you more. Please, let me take care of it!"
"...Huh? Yeah? This guy's got a real gift for bullshit. How the hell have you survived this long? Doesn't look like you started out strong. Spill the details—from pre-apocalypse life to now."
Like he'd already pledged everything but his life to me, the newly humanized Jo Pyeong-sin launched into a flashy spiel.
"Oh, solely! Solely to behold your gracious visage, Representative! As you said, I was a normal awakener early in the apocalypse... ... ... ... And that's how I stand before you now!!"
Thud! Thump! Even condensed, his 10-minute life story had me chiming in with reactions and exclamations.
"Hoo... Yeah, so that's how it was."
I'd called him the rat bastard 'cause he seemed the most scheming head, but his life story? True king—no, emperor of rat bastards.
GOAT material in backstabbing.
"Man, Pyeong-sin. Being this honest is great—definite bonus points. But after hearing that, what am I supposed to do with you? Makes me scared I'll wake up to a knife like your ex-ex-ex, ex-ex, ex-bosses. Whew, scary."
In that brutal gangster world, backstabbing three bosses and scraping by... Threepeat insane!
He'd just sowed discord with that snake feminist about the fourth dead one being a rat-snake hybrid—like he'd devoured the rat himself.
"N-no such thing, sir!! Those treacherous beasts—those three evil ones who couldn't control their underlings!! How dare they compare to your grace, Representative?! Please, have mercy!!"
"Moreover, with my pathetic skills and the handful of forces left in my base... how could I rebel against you?! Right now, truly! From the heart, I've finally met the liege I'll serve loyally! I could die without regrets! Sob! Waaah! Waaah...!!"
Thud thud!Thud thud thump!
...Wow. Now I get why fallen kings and emperors fell for flatterers' tongues.
This Pyeong-sin punk—if he hadn't pulled that idiotic stunt, he'd have the talent to survive long and snag a spot.
But I don't recall hearing his name in the first run... Alias? Or died early to someone else?
Yeah, real named players popped up around 1-2 years in. Could've died by then, or just one of the many using fake names/nicknames.
Anyway. After his tearful life tale, my mind eased a bit.
"Pyeong-sin. Thanks. You cleared my doubts."
"...Pardon? Oh, y-yes, yes!! If it pleases you, Representative, it's my honor. Heh heh..."
Ignoring the blood gushing from his forehead—smashed too hard from all the kowtowing—he rubbed his palms raw.
Smiling warmly, I rose from my chair.
While that rat bastard Jo Pyeong-sin and the other four beasts had been clowning with Russian Roulette...
I'd prepped five items in my Inventory and now placed them evenly spaced before the hotel's grand entrance.
Kwang!Kwaang!Kwaaaang!
"H-heok...? Re-Re-Representative...?"
Five 30-meter-tall wooden poles—10 meters taller than streetlight poles.
Hanging those dead beasts on them? Visible from far away.
Oh, Pyeong-sin wasn't a beast anymore—he was human.
"Gotta keep my promise to spare you... Tch, in this apocalypse, being soft-hearted is real trouble."
As Jo Pyeong-sin trembled at the poles, I ordered the five head managers to prevent any pointless resistance.
"Subdue and bind him. Oh, feed them these first, and apply to wounds too."
Along with sturdy iron chains from my Inventory, I distributed Omni-Healing Pills, satiety pills, and Undine's Droplets to the five senior manager NPCs.
They received them with crisp, cadet-like precision and executed my orders.
"Ugh, urk!! N-no! Nooooo!! Euaak! Aak!!! Re-Representative!! Represeeentative!!!"
"Hm? What's up, Pyeong-sin."
"Y-you said if I won the game! If I became human, you'd spare me!! You said you'd let me live!!!"
"Yeah. And I did—spared you. You were sharp till now, why act like an amateur?"
The bullet wound through his shoulder.
His forehead—skinned and bleeding from endless kowtowing.
All minor scrapes too—cleaned by the Omni-Healing Pill.
Plus satiety pills and Undine's Droplets for hunger and thirst.
Not just spared—he got a full-course VIP treatment no pre-apocalypse mega-hospital could match. And still whining...
Should've just killed him like the others?
"Nah, can't do that. I'm a proper human. Can't stoop to beast level...!! Yeah, exactly. I keep promises—that's who I am... human."
Whew... close call. Almost said "man" there.
With this sole survivor barking for a week, no other beasts would dare touch my hotel.
If I'd slipped up? I'd have to smash his mouth, yank tongue and teeth—tragic.
Horrid. Since I spared him, better keep him pristine like this.
Soothes my tender heart.
"H-huaaak!! Re-Re-Representative!! Represeeentative!!! P-please spare me!! I'll be loyal like a dog forever!! Your faithful dog—no, rat bastard forever!! Chit! Chitchit!! Chiiiiiik!!!!"
His boiling, desperate screams tickling my ears relentlessly...
I couldn't take it. With slight tears welling—just a drop or two—I pulled earplugs from my Inventory and sealed my ears tight.
Sorry, Pyeong-sin. First time meeting a rat bastard with honey-dripping charm like you in both runs...
"But I can't become a tyrant in this apocalypse, right?"
Countless tyrants' flashy failures in ancient, medieval, modern history...
A regressor like me can't copy that.
Who'd tolerate that bullshit? Not even me!
"──!! ───!!! ─────!!!!!"
With my trusty earplugs for sleepless nights, his screams faded to fly buzz.
I ordered the managers to chain the four corpses like Pyeong-sin to the pole tops.
Then—
Kwang!Kwang!Kwaang!Kwaaaang!Kwang!
Before the hotel's majestic entrance, five poles spaced wide.
The sole human survivor, Pyeong-sin, centerpiece like the star—slightly taller.
Thus ended today's midnight beast circus, started precisely at midnight.
Checking my smartphone...
"Huh, just an hour? The girls should've waited patiently in the master bedroom."
And Gayeon's eagerly awaited foursome from the past week... delayed.
No biggie for me.
But that horny bitch might be pissed.