Coming of Age Ceremony
"Absolutely not."
"Aww, why∼"
"Pleeease∼"
"Waaah!"
At Jun's firm refusal, the girls surrounding him all burst into tears and started throwing tantrums at once.
"Ugh, you're so loud. Come on, Jun, just put on a dress already."
"It's not like your little pepper's gonna fall off if you do it."
"Hear, hear! Cross-dress! Cross-dress!"
Then the boys, who had been pretending not to listen while hanging on every word, stepped in to persuade Jun on the girls' behalf.
In an instant the church dining hall was roaring with the girls' whining and the boys' chanting.
Did these kids eat something weird?
Boys and girls who normally couldn't stand each other were joining forces like this? It felt staged. Someone had almost certainly stepped in, unified the two factions, and told them exactly how to act.
Who would do something like that? Honestly, he didn't even need to think about it.
Jun turned a sharp gaze toward the dining hall entrance. Through the crack in the door, a pair of eyes curved in pure delight peeked back at him.
"Sister Kate, stop spying and come in here and settle these kids down."
The eyes flinched. He kept staring until they quietly vanished, and a moment later the dining hall door swung open with force. A small, slight nun stepped through.
"All right, all right. Quiet down, children. Even if this is the dining hall, you can't make this much of a racket."
At Sister Kate's scolding, the children promptly shut their mouths. It was almost as unbelievable as the two factions cooperating. For little kids, laughing and making noise was practically a sacred duty.
Was this part of the plan too?
Judging by Kate's reaction at the door crack, probably not. This was simply what happened when children trusted and followed her.
Jun found himself freshly impressed by this small, slight nun. She had only been at the Primuni church for four years, yet she had earned a level of trust that even nuns who had cared for the children for over a decade struggled to achieve — and in less than half the time. Remarkable. And yet, with her, it made sense.
She was bright and cheerful, and being around her was comfortable and fun. Even Jun, who rarely came to church, could feel that charm.
"Hmm∼. Those eyes of yours are burning. Jun, have you fallen for this big sister?"
Well. Sometimes that cheerfulness went a little too far and got on his nerves.
"Oh dear, how awkward. This big sister has dedicated her purity to God, so I can't return your love."
Looking thoroughly pleased with herself, Kate approached him. She tried to walk like a model to emphasize her maturity, but her figure was far too slight for the effect to land at all.
Jun put every ounce of the pity he felt straight into his words.
"I'm sorry, Sister Kate, but you're not my type."
"Pfft! Pff. He's right, Kate. You're nowhere near our Junie's taste, so relax. Pfft!"
Fortuna, who had been standing ironclad guard to keep the girls from getting near Jun, backed him up with a laugh — using both her words and her bouncing chest.
A crack ran through Kate's triumphant smile. She was human, after all; she wasn't always bright. Especially when it came to her chest, she turned extremely negative.
"H-hoho. Our Junie's still too young to understand. Listen carefully to this big sister. A woman's breasts should be large on the inside, not the outside."
"Hmm. I think what fills the inside matters more than having an unnecessarily big interior. In that regard, For is wonderful. Her entire interior is packed full of single-minded devotion toward me."
"Heeeng♡ For can't live without our Junie."
"...Kh!"
With nothing left to fire back, Kate retreated a step. The boys, who had been watching with rapt interest, started chattering.
"Jun's Logic Attack. Kate took 50 damage."
"Massive damage. Kate has entered a groggy state."
"Kate's special skill, Cliff of Sorrow, activated!"
"Status ailment instantly recovered. Counterattack!"
What is with these weirdly convincing play-by-plays?
Is this how you guys usually mess around?... Okay, that does sound fun.
"Urgh. Th-they'll sag hideously once I get older."
The second she heard the word "counterattack," Kate opened her mouth on pure reflex.
No, don't play along with them. Wait — you look way too used to this. Do you mess around like this with them too? Don't tell me you're the one who spread it. Right?
"Well, I'm not human, so I don't age and I don't sag. Perky forever."
"I-I'm so jealous!"
Fortuna activated her racial trait: I'm an Angel! Zero damage! Counter on the counter! Kate took 50 damage.
Ah! I did it without thinking.
Having unconsciously followed the kids' lead, Jun shook his head and wiped the play-by-play from his mind. In the meantime, Kate — who had barely survived by activating Unyielding Spinster — launched her final counterattack.
"Boob monster whose chest is bigger than her head!"
"Cliff-chested spinster whose chest is smaller than a child's!"
Fortuna fired right back without yielding an inch. The two of them locked eyes in a fierce glare.
Was it just his imagination that the silhouettes of a squirrel and a dairy cow seemed to rise behind them?
"Both of you, that's enough."
It had been a thoroughly entertaining matchup, but it didn't seem great for the children's emotional development, so Jun stepped in to stop them there. They both went Hmph! at the same time and whipped their heads away.
"So, Sister Kate. Why did you come here? Are you the one teaching the kids the song?"
"Jun, that's not it."
"Sister Kate is, like, super tone-deaf."
"It was so bad that a watchman who overheard her singing by accident said a goblin's roar would be more listenable."
"Yaaah! You little—! Is that how you want to play this?!"
"S-somebody help!"
"Kyaa! Ow!"
"Hahaha! Blargh!"
Under the children's fact-bombing, Kate stomped after them like an enraged beast, her fury wildly at odds with her small, slight frame, and meted out justice.
A short while later, finished with her punishment and still catching her breath, she turned to Jun with a smile.
"Jun, let's go get your clothes fitted for the coming-of-age ceremony."
"Just checking — they're not women's clothes, right?"
"...Hehehe."
"Goodbye, then. I'll be sitting this ceremony out."
Jun rose from his seat without a shred of hesitation. He wanted to take part for the lifelong memory — but he had no interest in building a memory that would live on as black history.
"Wait! It was a joke, just a joke!"
"Really? Swear to God?"
"Th-that's..."
"Goodbye."
"A-all right! All right already! I swear to God!"
Having extracted the oath he wanted, Jun smiled in satisfaction. That should head off any potential pranks.
"Why do you keep trying to make me cross-dress? It's not like there aren't any girls coming of age this year."
On the way to the workshop, once the children's eyes were gone, Jun asked Kate. She answered with a bitter smile.
"There's a part in the middle of the coming-of-age song where a boy and a girl do a duet as representatives."
"Right."
"Not a single girl has volunteered to be the representative."
"What? Why?"
Jun was baffled. The boys' representative was one thing, but the girls' selection was a fierce competition every year. After the ceremony, the boys went out job-hunting — the girls went out husband-hunting. And having sung the duet as a representative was an extremely useful credential. The male and female representatives were chosen largely on looks, after all. Being selected as the girls' representative meant the village had officially recognized that girl as the prettiest among those coming of age. In a rural backwater, there was no better way to raise your own stock.
For them to throw away that chance, there had to be a reason.
"Ah. The boys' representative is..."
"Do you even need to ask?"
From Kate's answer, the boys' representative was clearly Leon. Honestly, Jun's looks outstripped his — but the village elders handled the selection, so everyday conduct and relationships couldn't be ignored either.
In any case, once he knew the boys' representative was Leon, Jun finally understood why none of the girls had stepped forward.
The gap in level has to be at least somewhat reasonable.
Over the past four years, Leon had grown into an exceptionally handsome young man — perhaps a step short of Jun, but handsome enough that even Fortuna, who was extremely picky about beauty, acknowledged it. Born of both imperial and saintly bloodlines, it was only natural.
Back to the point: what would happen if Leon — who might rank among the most striking faces in the entire empire — stood side by side with an ordinary country girl? No amount of makeup or pretty clothes would save her from looking like a plain little squid. And that would deal a devastating blow to her marriage prospects.
"Whoever ends up standing next to Leon is going to have the worst coming-of-age ceremony of her life."
Jun clicked his tongue and made the sign of the cross for that poor soul. Reading the genuine sympathy in it, Kate seized the moment and made her request.
"So that's why I was hoping you'd cross-dress and be the girls' representative. Think of it as saving a life."
"Hmm..."
Jun stopped walking and began to think. A smile bloomed on Kate's worried face.
Grinning brightly, Jun raised both hands and started forming a big circle. Her smile deepened further.
"Jun!"
Moved by his decision, Kate reached out to hug him tight.
At that exact moment—
Whip!
"...Huh?"
His arms, a breath away from completing the circle, snapped across his chest into a giant X.
"Hehe. Got you, didn't I? That's your punishment for riling up the kids."
Having thoroughly pranked her, Jun walked right past. Kate stood blank for a second, then snapped back to her senses and hurriedly stretched a hand toward his retreating back.
"Th-the cross-dressing!"
"Do you even need to ask?"
The answer was NO!