The Obsessive Monster Clerk

As I came to my senses, I was slumped over the counter like I'd collapsed. '...It won't come out.'

My arm, gripped by the monster. No matter ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠how hard I tried to pull it free, it didn't budge an inch.

A bead of cold sweat trickled down Han Yujin's forehead. What the hell was this? Why was this thing suddenly grabbing my arm and not letting go? Did I do something wrong?

Han Yujin racked her brain desperately.

'Address is correct.'

Sender, recipient—all filled out. Item description shouldn't be an issue right now. I'd perfectly followed the rules of this horror story, even reading its intent...?

'Damn it, what is it?'

Did I make a mistake somewhere? No answers came no matter how hard she thought.

'No choice.'

Only one solution now. Time to pull the ultimate Karen move!

Just as Han Yujin drew in a deep breath for Karen Technique #1: 'Louder is always better,'

"...Huh?"

Han Yujin blinked involuntarily.

...Wait a sec. Was this thing... praising me right now?

Come to think of it, yeah. When the security guard demanded cargo, I didn't sacrifice the auntie or Yoo Se-rin. Instead, I bribed another monster customer with a slice of pizza and turned it into "Baji" cargo.

Instead of Unique Company's dumb decades-old method—sacrificing humans to establish "human = cargo"—I'd introduced new logic. No bloodshed, either.

'...So, praise for that?'

Getting complimented by a monster in a horror story for a job well done... What kind of new achievement was this? Not exactly thrilled. I just wanted out of this damn story.

"...Ow."

Struggling to pull free had ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠left her wrist red. The clerk monster noticed, suddenly panicked, released her hand, and bowed its head.

Han Yujin pressed her temple. My head was starting to throb for real. What the hell was going on? Because I did too well, it wanted me to live here?

"...What kind of horror story is this?"

Shouldn't it let me go if I did well? No, couldn't lose my cool here. Yeah. Talk it out first.

This clerk seemed to have a lot of pride in its job. Persuasion over Karen mode.

"Um... excuse me, clerk?"

Han Yujin forced calm into her voice.

"Thanks so much, but as you can see, I need to go settle the fee."

The waybill fluttered in her hand. The clerk monster glanced at it and nodded.

"...Yes?"

The clerk monster pointed at Han Yujin with its long, sharp nail.

What the fuck is this psycho saying? Han Yujin instinctively stepped back. The temperature around her plummeted instantly.

The goodwill vanished from the clerk monster's voice, replaced by icy killing intent.

'No, you crazy bastard.'

Why the sudden rage? Why paint me as some delivery job-discriminating trash? How do monster logic circuits even work?

Its rage acceleration outpaced even Han Yujin's! A master of sudden outbursts!

The moment it shot up from its seat—

"Wait!"

Han Yujin shouted desperately.

"Th-that's not it! Not discrimination!"

"I-I'm... already sold off!"

Uh. That sounded kinda off.

"N-no, not sold exactly. More like collateral set. But my body's not mine anymore, so same as sold..."

Its movement halted.

"Yes! My entire existence is collateral already! If you wanna hire me, buy my ownership first?"

The clerk monster spoke in a voice dripping with reluctance and doubt. Worst kind of simp... girl? No, guy? Whatever, monster.

Couldn't just kick its ass here, though. Han Yujin sighed and pulled out the money bag. From it, she took a bank badge from the Value Assessment Bank—given after the loan.

Why'd they give dozens...? 'For times like this.'

She held it out to the monster.

"My creditor. If D Company can handle 'em, give a call."

Han Yujin's lips curled up. She flashed the most shameless, punchable grin of a decade-veteran troll.

"Though I doubt D Company can."

The clerk monster stared at the badge. Concentrating like it was communicating with it. Then—

Kiiiek.

It slowly raised its head.

"...??? Bank."

Its voice no longer echoed in her head. It muttered aloud, like its throat was strangled.

"You... ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠are... too... ex-pen-sive..."

Yeah, that's reality.

"Talk's over then? I'm out."

As Han Yujin turned with an annoying wave—

"Why so clingy?"

Han Yujin turned back, genuinely annoyed. The clerk monster stared piercingly with its bandaged face. Looked familiar. Right— the gaze for the priciest display item.

The monster continued.

"...Pardon?"

Han Yujin's smile froze.

The clerk had shed its shock, now gazing at her with resolute determination.

"Wh-what...?"

What the actual fuck is this lunatic saying! How much would that even cost to save up! And why save to buy me!

Absurdity gave her chills.

That instant—

The clerk monster thrust out its stamp. Before Han Yujin could yank her arm, it slammed down lightning-fast.

Thud—!

"Whoa!"

A brief burning pain on her arm. The stamp melted into her skin, etching a bizarre pattern.

Eternal Stamp? What the hell was this?

Totally unexpected. The clerk spoke again.

"...All free?"

With that, the clerk creaked back to its spot. As if the commotion never happened, the parcel acceptance desk returned to normal.

Han Yujin stared at her forearm and muttered unwittingly.

"This is insane."

Han Yujin checked the gallery reactions and let out a small sigh. She'd asked for solutions, but they were just partying hard.

The gallery rolled on with the monster confession bait for a bit. Then the bait-dropper posted seriously.

Leaving the gallery flooded with [???] and [you maniac], Han Yujin headed to the next spot.