The Reincarnator Despairs in Another Reality (1)
My name is Kirgil.
Yeah, I remember my name crystal clear, even in that final moment.
I remember taking a fatal wound while making a delivery and losing consciousness.
Right now,
no hospital's white ceiling filled my vision.
A clear sky stretched with clouds. The air carried the scent of grass.
I knew it instinctively.
Heaven? Hell? Asking that is so outdated.
"Isekai!?
Finally!
Even a shut-in like me, rotting in my room except for part-time gigs, gets to live a protagonist's awesome life from a novel!!"
Humans, no matter how late, confront harsh reality once they hit young adulthood.
Pass into your thirties, and you just adapt to it.
You compromise on things you never wanted to, and give up.
Since reality sucks like that, isekai isn't just a fantasy for chuunibyou kids anymore. It's a dream world for adults who still cling to hopes.
I'm one such 35-year-old adult harboring that dream!
Isekai!
It's a world of dreams and...
"Harem! Every guy's dream is a harem, right?!"
No point hiding my desires now!
Still, I checked that no one's around.
Can't exactly shout this sleazy stuff loud, y'know.
"First things first, check my stats. Maybe I've got some OP skill or blessing?"
Like a game protagonist, I thrust my hand out and shouted.
"Status!"
Of course! Modern fantasy demands this! Gamers take it for granted, right?
Now, the window in front of me...
"...Huh?"
No window appeared.
"Oh crap! Not this nowadays... Character!"
...Huh, no reaction? Damn, just sweating now.
"Level! Items! Skills!!
No no, inventory!!
Stats, stats!! Please show up!!
Gacha! Reroll!! HUD!"
No no, bad pronunciation maybe?
"Status… Status! Ah, come on...
After coming this far, don't screw up my life!!"
I despaired.
Plopped down and slammed both hands into the ground.
"Please... Why can't I even see the Status Window...
...Huh!?"
It appeared!
Finally, a screen like a game HUD popped up.
LV 1
HP 50/50
STR: 10
AGI: 10
INT: 10
LUK: 10
Blessing: Happy Moment
"Why now?? Was it 'View Status Window' or something!?"
The screen vanished.
"...They localized something this useless?"
A sigh of relief escaped me.
So relieved, tears welled up unbidden.
Those translators who turned "fireball" into "flame orb" were prophets, huh.
Enough emotion.
Stats first. Gotta know myself!
LV1 is whatever. Stats are simpler than D&D. Any distinction here? What's the scale even?
And skills.
"...Am I seeing lewd demons? No, did I become one?"
The skill name naturally drew my eyes downward.
"Happy Moment? Happy Time?
What kinda skill name... sounds like an X-rated one. Not really a dick skill, right? I had my suspicions from the start.
No.
That anxiety's turning real, and it's messing me up!
None.
I'm buck naked right now.
Adult naked.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Pristine natural state. Can't do jack like this.
Wait, one thing.
Like the blessing says, I can have my Happy Moment.
"What kinda sleazy skill is this!! What kinda shitty game is this!! At least give basic gear like underwear!!"
And so, I, Kirgil, appeared in this isekai meadow butt naked.
With only the skill [Happy Moment].
A middle-aged guy arriving naked with just a [Happy Moment] skill. Even 18+ adult game openings wouldn't be this pathetic.
I don't expect a "wahhh~" baby start. At least let me begin as a teenage youth.
With high school regen—full HP after one night—you might survive the wild isekai, right?
"Haa~"
The more I think, the more I sigh.
Searched around, walked ten minutes, even ran, but just felt my junk flappin' (?).
So I lay down right there.
With gear and skills like this, can't do shit, don't even know what to do. No tutorial, quests, red dots.
If it were a game, I'd 1-star it, ask after the devs' parents, then delete.
"Nah, maybe it's a dream. Close my eyes, sleep, wake up in reality."
Held that hope, shut my eyes.
Wind rustling, scents, grass tickling skin... all too real.
Ignore it. Augmented reality. Full-dive game. I'm wearing a headset.
"Kyaaah!!"
...A woman's scream from afar.
Good voice acting. Ignore. Ignore the killer performance...
"...Like hell I can ignore that!!"
I snapped my eyes open, bolted up, looked toward the scream.
Over the hill, a simple farm-girl dashed, red-brown hair whipping.
Behind her, dark green-skinned half-naked runts chased with clubs and crude spears.
"Finally!! First event!!
Damsel in distress begs passing hero for help. Hero saves her, all manly.
"Hahaha! Turns out it's the royal road cliché!"
I charged toward the girl seeking aid. My face lit up with excitement, "Woooh~". Distance closed, her form sharpened.
Terror-twisted but youthful skin. Wind-tossed red hair, soft curves peeking from her skirt front. High school age, maybe.
Her pursuers' identities cleared up too.
"Goblins, obviously. Messing with a girl?"
Modern fantasy: goblins kidnap women for lewd stuff. About 7-8 of 'em.
Still jamminis! I bellowed.
"You evil pervert brats! Stop right now!"
My roar made girl and goblins alike turn to me.
Then they froze, like time stopped.
"......"
Wait, aren't they staring too hard?
Oh yeah, my look's kinda... primal.
Flappin' around and...
"Kyaaah!!"
The girl shrieked way louder. Gibbering in terror.
Couldn't understand a word.
Eh, what!? No auto-translate? Zero clue what she's saying.
Still, dashed on, desperately signaling intent.
"It's okay, calm down. I'll help anyway! Coming now! Wait!! Hold up!!"
Communication later. Rescue first.
Delivery-honed legs sped up; soon I stood before her.
"Kyaa!?"
She gawked, more unknown yells and shrieks.
Thinks goblins safer?
She spun and fled the opposite way, stumbling desperately.
"Kek!?"
Goblins finally sensed weirdness. Prey fleeing them in more terror than from them.
Toward them, even.
Realizing I was cause, they halted chase, went alert.
Anyway, clear her misunderstanding, help her. I pursued the girl.
Goblins watched warily.
My junk bugging you? Bugs me too with the flapping. Still, I'll save her from you!
Then, the teetering girl tripped. Rolling on ground, her terrified face met mine.
Eyes locked.
No common language... Universal smile?
"......"
She trembled. Not just speechless—legs gave out.
...Skirt soaked unwittingly.
Why? My smile too creepy? Ugly? Old man?
Why... get excited in this mess! Me!!
"Hiyak!?"
All goblins shrieked too. Instinctual terror? They clenched asses, slinking back whence they came.
Girl flailed limp legs, crawling away desperately.
Me, why'd I come here?
Seeing their desperation, something welled up.
Never dated right, aged, slaved part-time to death, naked in this world—all grievances. First boy(?)-girl event: disaster.
In utter pathos, eyeing goblins pissed me off more.
At least prove this stiff thing's honor.
"Fuck, you think I'll let you off?"
Save me, hero! Not that far, but this? Treating me worse than monsters!
"Waaahhh!!!"
Tears burst with my roar. Rage boiled over.
Can't vent, won't survive isekai or afterlife.
"Keehiyaaaa!!"
My charge made 'em feel mega-threat; dropped weapons, fled.
"You ignoring me too!! Seeing me as monster!!!"
Left girl behind, charged goblins in fury. Forgot LV1 nakedness in rage.
That day, goblins would remember.
The horror of a naked human charging.
The humiliation of a human on the prowl.