For Your Sass, You'll Get Your Pussy Pounded
"Yo~ Long time no see, Satoshi-kun. You showed up right on time."
"Satoshi's here?"
The moment I walked into the cram school, Akira and Nanami lit up at the sight of me.
Nanami immediately dropped into the seat beside mine and hooked her arm through mine.
"Nanami. We agreed you'd actually study while we're here."
"Class hasn't started yet, though…"
The Resonance on her seemed well and truly gone now.
I couldn't pull up other people's status windows the way I could with Kaede, but I could feel it.
And yet…
"Hey."
"Hey!"
Judging by how Rei and Misa had already glued themselves to our little group like it was the most natural thing in the world, whatever was already stuck to them wasn't going anywhere.
"You two behave at cram school like Nanami. Do some studying for once."
"What's this guy's problem? One round and suddenly he thinks he owns the place?"
Misa was the rough type.
Maybe it was the build — she had some size on her.
But then there was the way she talked…
"Na-tan, c'mere. Let's play."
Sticking -tan on people's names made her sound like a little kid…
Not exactly intimidating.
And Rei, who always kept her mouth hidden behind a fashion mask, was her usual self.
"Shut it, Misa. My head hurts. And you — go buy me some bread."
Foul-mouthed as ever, still trying to play the delinquent boss.
But the one sitting at the top of their pecking order was Nanami.
"Misa-chan! You're supposed to study at cram school!"
"Huh? Well, yeah, but…"
"Rei-chan! We said we weren't doing that stuff anymore."
"So who's buying my bread, then?"
"Give me the money. I'll get it for you."
"…Nah. Let's go together."
That was how it went.
This wasn't the power of Resonance.
This was just how their relationship had always worked.
Why the two of them got bossed around by Nanami — who looked like the weakest of the bunch — I still didn't fully get.
While they headed off to the shop, Akira turned to me.
"This one hath also paid a visit, so he hath."
"Huh?"
"To yon Tsukikage Shrine, that is."
"You went there too!?"
I blurted it out in surprise, and he gave me a look like I was the weird one.
"Indeed so. There was a save file with Resonance upon it, so this one gave it a try."
Ah… he was talking about the game.
"And lo, a most curious event did unfold."
"Curious event?"
"Of Belzeria, I speak."
"The Demon King's Four Heavenly Kings?"
"Just so. An R-18 event with her, there was."
I flinched before I could stop myself.
Yesterday's session with her flashed through my head.
Akira kept going, practically bragging.
"A hidden shrine there was."
So that actually existed in the game too?
"There did the event with Belzeria trigger, and several R-18 CGs unlocked themselves."
"I had no idea that was a thing…"
"This one was astonished as well. 'Twas originally an empty shrine, was it not?"
I nodded.
It was the shrine that showed up at the start of the tutorial village.
It never gave you anything worthwhile — just a brief run-in with Belzeria and that was it.
"When this one ventured deeper, there stood an offering box. Coins were placed within, yet naught occurred, so at first this one thought the comrade had given false counsel."
His eyes sparkled like he was recounting the greatest adventure of his life.
Moments like this, he was a purebred otaku through and through.
"And then — suddenly — a brand-new shrine did appear, did it not?"
"So you climbed up and made a wish."
"Indeed. Yet one mistake this one did commit."
"Mistake?"
I echoed.
"The gold ought to have been deposited beforehand… for the condition of the wish was to offer up every last piece of gold in one's possession."
Exactly the same.
Completely identical.
"And thus did this one meet Belzeria and obtain the R-18 CGs. At last — eighty-five percent. Of the CG gallery, that is."
This guy had been grinding Heart-Pounding Adventure Fantasy for a long, long time.
The fact that he was still only at eighty-five percent was honestly impressive.
The real thrill of an R-18 game was unlocking every last dirty CG.
Ninety-eight percent?
Ninety-nine percent?
Unacceptable.
You had to clear the whole thing.
Sure, there was always data mining — ripping hidden assets straight out of the game files without ever playing.
A kind of cheat.
But a true otaku never stooped to that.
A lot of them didn't even look at guides.
Pure skill, pure stubbornness, pure hours poured in until everything cracked open.
Akira was that type.
Which was why, even now, all he'd handed me was the existence of the CGs. Not how you met her. Not how the sex scene actually played out.
Just the bare minimum trailhead.
Same way he'd done it when he turned the in-game Satoshi into the NTL Master.
Just a starting point — go to this town, there's info there.
And that bastard Satoshi had burned the time and actually pulled it off.
Come to think of it, this guy was supposed to be a college-exam student and all he did was play games…
He was worse than Nanami. Seriously.
"That shrine that only shows up at night, right?"
"Oh? So Satoshi-kun already knew? This one was a step too late, then."
I grinned. He grinned right back.
"Having Belzeria as a party member doth feel most unfamiliar indeed."
…
What?
Party member?
That hadn't happened for me.
I'd gotten a little closer with her, sure — but not all the way to party member.
What the hell?
I didn't say anything, though.
Something uneasy sat in my gut.
I had no idea then that the unease would prove dead right in just a few days…
After class, Nanami latched onto me.
"What?"
"I promised Rei-chan we'd go to a café. Come with us."
"I was gonna go home."
"Come ooon~ I didn't even get to see you yesterday~"
In the end I let her drag me along.
Rei was already waiting outside.
And standing next to her was a solidly built guy.
"Who's that?"
"Ah, Rei-chan's boyfriend."
Nanami already knew him, so she waved.
He started to wave back — then spotted me and openly twisted his face into a scowl.
The hell is this guy's problem?
I really didn't like those eyes.
I glared right back, and his expression turned outright ugly.
"The fuck you looking at, asshole?"
"Who the hell are you to pick a fight the second you see me?"
"What? You looking to die today, you little— Ow!"
Rei cracked him hard across the back, and just like that the standoff was over.
"We said we weren't talking about that. Hurry up. I'm thirsty."
"Tch. You and me, next time Rei isn't around."
I watched the two of them walk ahead and turned to Nanami.
"What's his deal? Why's he like that with me?"
"He's Jun's little brother. Yuu."
Jun… Nanami's ex.
The guy who'd sat there under my Hypnosis and watched Nanami lose her virginity to me.
And this was his younger brother?
No wonder he hated my guts.
But too bad for him…
I'd already fucked his girlfriend's pussy raw.
"You okay, Nanami?"
"We already broke up. As long as I have you, Satoshi, that's all I need."
Squish.
She hugged my arm again, rubbing her chest against my forearm.
It wasn't deliberate flirting so much as pure airheadedness — she genuinely didn't clock how blatant it was.
She was just naturally clueless about that kind of thing.
Which was probably how she'd run with delinquents all that time and still kept her virginity intact.
"Come on, Satoshi. Hurry."
"We're seriously going to a café with that couple?"
"Yeah. Today's a double-couple event. If we go together they give you a cute keychain."
"A keychain? That's it?"
"…But it's pretty…"
Nanami had always liked cute things.
Plushies and the like.
"Fine. Let's go."
"Okay!"
Inside the café, I was staring at a parfait the size of something I had never seen in my life.
Just me and those three…
"Nobody said we had to finish the whole thing to get the keychain."
I pointed at the washbasin-sized bowl of parfait.
"Hngh… Please? Eat it with me."
Nanami looked up at me with pleading eyes.
Rei was staring at the parfait like she had zero thoughts in her head, while Yuu toyed with his spoon like he couldn't stand the sight of me.
What a lovely little party we made.
"Alright — ten minutes starts now!"
At the manager's signal we grabbed our spoons like nothing had happened and started shoveling the washbasin parfait into our faces.
It was good!
It was definitely good!
But it was cold.
Cold, and there was way too much of it…
No matter how much I ate, it felt like the pile never shrank.
I was about to set my spoon down for a breather when my eyes locked with Yuu's.
Smirk.
He's laughing?
This bastard dares to laugh at the great Archmage Satoshi?
You little shit!
My limp hand clamped hard around the spoon again.
And I went right back to digging in.
Teeth aching from the cold, stomach already sending urgent stop signals — none of it mattered. Neither of us looked away as we wolfed the parfait like madmen.
Nanami was the first to drop her spoon.
"Satoshi, sorry! Guys, I'm so sorry! I'm done…"
She rubbed her swollen belly and sagged back against her chair, finished.
"Me too. I'm out."
Rei set her spoon down right after and held a hand out toward Nanami.
Like her fingers were freezing.
Nanami took it immediately, and the two of them hugged.
Must've been pretty damn cold.
Come to think of it, this was the first time I'd seen Rei without the mask.
So it really had just been a fashion thing.
I'd half expected a scar around her mouth or something.
"Quit spacing out and eat, you— ugh… hurry up."
"I've eaten more than you. You keep going, asshole."
Yuu and I snarled at each other and kept shoveling parfait.
"One minute remaining."
At the manager's call we kicked up the pace.
Because it looked possible now.
If there'd been a mountain left we would've quit clean — but it was just that frustrating middle amount.
There was a chance.
"Go, Satoshi!"
"You got this, Yuu!"
Two boyfriends powering through a parfait on their girlfriends' cheers — to anyone watching, it probably looked pretty pathetic.
But in the end, we won.
"Ten seconds left — and success! Today's second winners!"
"Second? How long has this event been running?"
"About a month, sir."
"…"
Nanami, completely oblivious to my death glare, clutched the keychain and bounced around like she'd won the lottery.
Mwah!
"Thank you, Satoshi!"
She plastered herself against me and planted a kiss, radiating pure joy.
Ugh… my stomach, though. Did I push it too hard at the end?
"Where's the restroom?"
"Around the back of the building. Passcode is 4885#. It's a unisex stall, so check if anyone's inside first."
"Nanami, I'm hitting the bathroom. Stay here."
Yuu smirked at that.
"Look at you, playing tough. Weak little— ugh!"
He tried to sneer, but the words died in his throat.
His face had gone pale too.
"You okay? Don't you need the bathroom?"
"Not the bathroom. More like my stomach's twisting a little…"
"Probably food poisoning. I'll grab you some medicine."
"Thanks, Rei."
And just like that, Rei and I stepped out of the shop.
I was in a hurry, so I headed straight for the restroom.
Unisex, huh?
Knock knock.
…
Good. Empty.
I punched in the code, did my business, and when I finally stood up—
Ahh. Felt like I owned the world.
The place was cleaner than I'd expected.
Even smelled nice — dessert café bathroom, so they'd clearly put in some effort.
Classic layout: sink and toilet separated by a door.
Whoooosh.
I flushed, washed my hands — and heard the passcode beeping outside.
Whatever. I was already done.
Hm?
"Weren't you going to the pharmacy?"
The door opened and Rei walked in.
One look at her face told me she'd been holding it in too.
"You're finished, right?"
"Yeah."
She gave me a look that clearly said get out already while I finished washing my hands.
"I'm going, I'm going."
Beep.
The second I stepped out, irritation hit me.
Giving me attitude?
I turned and looked back at the restroom she'd just entered.
Yeah. Today, for the crime of sass, your sentence is getting your pussy pounded.