Why the Soul Rotts (2)
Meanwhile, throughout practice, Myeong I-dam kept thinking about the comments Neoul had recited to him.
Do people really think that?
Myeong I-dam had never once looked at the comments on his own videos during the survival show, nor had he ever searched his own name. Not once.
He was just afraid.
What were people saying about him?
His elementary school graduation photo and his middle school graduation photo had both been truly awful. Had they already been spread all over the internet?
There were so many people better than him. Why were they voting for him?
He acted cool in front of the camera, but in truth he was nothing. Was it really all right to fool people like this?
His thoughts kept chasing one another in circles until he could not summon the courage. He kept typing his name into the search bar, only to erase it again, feeling as though he were standing in front of Pandora's box and hesitating with each attempt, until at last he gave up.
"Brother I-dam!"
"Yeah. I'll focus."
Myeong I-dam tried to shake off the stray thoughts that kept interrupting practice. Still, hope, doubt, and anxiety kept filling his head in turns.
During break time, he took off his cap, brushed back his sweat-damp hair, and pulled the cap on again. Then he stared blankly at the frog ring on his left index finger, idly fidgeting with it.
Did that kid Gal Neoul lie?
Myeong I-dam also found it suspicious that Gal Neoul had said one of his acquaintances was a fan. No matter how he looked at it, why would someone choose him, when Gal Neoul stood right beside him and was so much more impressive? It made no sense.
But if what Gal Neoul said was true....
If he wasn't a descendant of a mermaid, if there was nothing special about him at all... could he still be loved?
There were plenty of people like him. There were even more people better than him. And yet, among all those countless people, could there really be someone cheering for him? Him, who was only a trainee, who had come here as a last desperate grasp after being pushed out of the competition....
I want to know.
Myeong I-dam decided to open the Pandora's box he had been avoiding all this time.
"I'll go to the bathroom for a second."
Using the break, he slipped away unseen with a pad in hand and took another route. Then he crouched in a corner of the supply room, where no cameras could see him, and opened the search bar.
If he searched openly in front of the camera, he did not know what kind of ugly expression he might make after seeing hate comments or criticism. He did not want anyone to catch sight of that pathetic side of him.
After a long hesitation, Myeong I-dam searched his own name. The very first thing that appeared was a fan's review from the second round of the live audience viewing.
Second Round Audience Review + Meeting Myeong I-dam
Arrived at 12:30 in advance!
(Photo)
Idam handed out photo candy and slogans! The reaction was so good, I felt proud!
They handed out entrance wristbands around 2, then we ate and came back, and entry started from 6:00 on~ I thought it would obviously be standing, so I went prepared for my calves to explode, but there were chairs..!
I was worried about the view, but there was a height difference, so thankfully I could see the kids well T_T
(Second round preview photo)
Chokker I-dam! I called his name and he waved back!!! Seeing him in person was seriously thrilling, and his hippie perm is ridiculously cute T_T If I did it, I'd just look like ramen, but you're the first male idol who actually suits a hippie perm.
(Second round preview photo)
He was so nervous when he came up on stage that his hands were shaking, and then he absolutely tore apart the live performance! His falsetto was insane T_T
Survived to second place amid a storm of voting against him. There's a fan vote too, so (ugh... still getting angry just thinking about it..) I don't know how the results will turn out T_T
No matter what anyone says, you're first place to me!!
Myeong I-dam learned three things he had not known before.
The slogans were made directly by the fans...?
Everyone had been waving around slogans that looked roughly alike, so he had assumed the production staff had randomly handed them out to cheer with. He had never dreamed the fans had made and distributed them themselves.
And the fact that entry began at 6:00 p.m., but they had arrived at 12:30.
Filming didn't even end until after 10:00 at night?
That meant they had spent nearly ten hours, or even more, waiting and watching the recording. If their home was far away, they may have given up even more of their time.
And they came prepared to stand?
The recording itself had taken more than four hours, and they had been planning to stand through that entire stretch. Even a healthy person would probably have had their back and knees aching after standing that long.
It was just one of the many ordinary fan reviews, but to Myeong I-dam, who had never properly loved anyone as a fan and had lived shut away in practice rooms and studios, it was rather shocking.
Why would they go this far?
If he could, he wanted to go back to the second round and ask them.
Why are you like this to me?
He hadn't even placed first, so why was he first place to them?
Why spend money making candy and handing it out, cheering him on?
I'm not as good at singing as Gal Neoul, I'm not as good at dancing as Baek Yuri, I'm not handsomer than them, I'm not even taller, and I'm not warm or charming enough to do anything but wave stiffly during fan service.
The more he thought about it, the more reasons there were not to like him, and no matter how hard he searched, he could not find a single reason to do so.
And yet, if he looked through blog reviews or SNS, Neoul had not lied.
The fans did not particularly care whether Myeong I-dam was better than everyone else or not. They only praised his vocals, his dancing, and his face, and they liked him and cheered for him.
Myeong I-dam still could not readily accept the feelings and support they sent him, but his emotions became tangled and uncertain, and he pressed his cap down even lower.
Could this be a heart that changes quickly, like a fragile glass cup? If they find out about my pitifulness and inferiority complex, won't they leave disappointed? He was still uneasy, but....
Let's do better on the third stage.
For the sake of the people who had given up more than ten hours of their time and transportation fare to come, he felt he ought to do better.
Ah. And I should thank Gal Neoul too.
He was startled when the comments suddenly rang out in a voice, but thanks to that, he found the courage to take a look at the fans' reactions.
Just as Myeong I-dam was about to get up, someone clicked the door open and walked into the supply room.
Thinking it was one of the production staff, Myeong I-dam held his breath. He might get scolded for sneaking in.
Hidden in the corner behind a shelving unit, he peered through a tiny gap between the stacked items on the shelf and made out the face of the person who had just come in.
Kim Ji-rok hyung...?
Kim Ji-rok closed the door after stepping inside, then looked at the water bottles stacked beside it. There were plenty of 500-milliliter bottles bundled in packs of twenty, and beside them were five sets of two-liter bottles, bundled six to a set.
Did he come to get water?
Myeong I-dam guessed that Kim Ji-rok would take one pack of the 500-milliliter bottles and leave. But unexpectedly, Kim Ji-rok took a pair of black non-slip cotton work gloves from his pocket and put them on, then picked up a set of two-liter bottles.
Those are for Gal Neoul.
Because Gal Neoul drank so much water, the production staff had started buying it in two-liter bottles and keeping them there. No one besides Gal Neoul ever touched the larger, heavier bottles.
Why is he...
Kim Ji-rok tore open the plastic wrapping around the bottles and twisted off the cap of one of them. Then he tilted his head back and began gulping from the bottle from slightly above his mouth, so the opening would not touch his lips.
Is he really that thirsty?
Seeing Kim Ji-rok drink the water, Myeong I-dam was about to leave. He had hidden because he thought a member of the production crew was coming; if it was a contestant, there was no reason to stay hidden.
But something felt off. Summer was ending, but the daytime weather was still fairly hot. And yet Kim Ji-rok was wearing a loose, thick jumper.
Does he get cold easily?
If he had put it on because the air conditioner was running and the room was cold during the day, that could make sense. Though, even then, the sweat beading on his forehead made him look overheated.
While drinking, Kim Ji-rok kept checking how much remained. After emptying about a quarter of the bottle, he set it down. Then, from the inside pocket of his puffy outerwear, he took out a small bottle of water he had hidden away. It was a 500-milliliter bottle.
Kim Ji-rok poured the water from the small bottle into the two-liter bottle he had already drunk from, refilling it to the top. At the end, he screwed the cap on tightly and shook it.
What the hell kind of nonsense is that?
He had drunk water, then refilled the water with water. It was a thoroughly pointless, bizarre thing to do.
Kim Ji-rok chose one of the bags left on the side of the supply room and shoved the empty 500-milliliter bottle into it.
That looked like one of the staff bags.
After that, Kim Ji-rok took off the gloves and put them back in his jumper pocket, then lifted and carried out both the opened set of six two-liter bottles and a set of twenty 500-milliliter bottles, stacked one on top of the other.
“......”
Myeong I-dam waited for a moment. Once the footsteps outside had faded, he crept out from behind the shelving unit. Then he took out the bottle Kim Ji-rok had slipped into the staff bag, opened it, and sniffed it.
Something about it seemed deeply suspicious; he had a feeling it was not water at all, but something mixed into it.
“It doesn't smell like anything...”
The few drops of liquid left in the bottle were utterly colorless and odorless, just like water.
Was it just plain water?
But if so, why go to the trouble of drinking the water he already had, then pouring it into the large bottle and filling it back up again?
After thinking it over, Myeong I-dam let a few remaining drops fall onto the palm of his hand.
It feels a little sticky, maybe?
But after a moment, the spot where the liquid had touched his skin turned dry and red, as though it had been irritated.
W-what is this...?
What kind of solution was it? Had he really done all this to feed it to Gal Neoul?
He had seen things like this on the news more than once. People spiking school milk with laxatives to torment a classmate, or slipping sleeping pills into liquor at bars and handing it over, or mixing something into a coworker's coffee. The petty, malicious nonsense of people full to the brim with bad intent.
I can't believe I'm actually seeing something like this for real.
He did not know exactly what this solution was, but he had a bad feeling it was far more dangerous than a laxative or sleeping pills.
What do I do? Should I tell the production staff? No. I have to stop Gal Neoul first! What if he drinks it and dies in the meantime!
Leaving the bottle behind, Myeong I-dam hurried out of the supply room. He ran straight toward the practice rooms, where each team was still in the middle of rehearsals.
On the hallway floor lined with multiple practice rooms, the water bottles Kim Ji-rok had taken were left behind. But the two-liter bottles were nowhere to be seen. Only fifteen 500-milliliter bottles remained, all still in place, with a few already taken away.
They're gone...!
Myeong I-dam dashed into the practice room where Gal Neoul's team was rehearsing. The team members, who had been lying around during a short break, looked up at the suddenly appearing Myeong I-dam.
Ignoring their gazes, Myeong I-dam looked around frantically for the water. The bundle of six two-liter bottles was by the mirror.
Just then, he saw Gal Neoul pick up the bottle that had been on the side with the torn plastic wrapping. It was the very same bottle that Kim Ji-rok had tampered with.
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