A Rice Cake and I Won’t Eat You Up (2)
There was another person here whose heart was pounding like mad. Barely steady on trembling legs, Neoul managed to step down from the stage and collapse onto the floor.
When he pressed a hand to the center of his chest, his heart was racing far too fast. The red paint on his hand smeared here and there, then blurred away with sweat.
Woo Cheong had cut Neoul’s choreography down as much as he could so the other could keep up, but even so, the difficulty remained brutal.
The routine had leapt far beyond the signal song’s level, and even during practice, Neoul had nearly lost his breath several times. For a moment, he had even wondered if he had been foolish to stay on land at all, instead of simply returning to the sea.
And yet now, even though it felt as if he might truly run out of breath, he did not regret it.
I want to do it again.
The mad thought filled his head.
It was strange.
He had clearly been in agony, so why was he thinking this…?
Why do I feel like… laughing?
The corners of his mouth kept lifting, as if they had broken.
Was it because he had made it through to the end without a single mistake, and it felt rewarding?
Because the cheers from the people watching the stage were new and delightful and strange?
There was that, too, but…
It was fun.
The same feeling he had had on the rooftop, when he had looked out over the strange world and the glittering people, came back to him on this stage.
No, this time it surged through him even more violently.
Why is it this fun?
Could he ever feel this way again in his life? The thought was almost frightening.
In truth, there seemed to be a more precise word for it than simple “fun,” but nothing else came to mind.
He had already come down from the stage, but the cheering and applause were still ringing behind him.
“Oh dear, our team did great! Everyone worked hard!”
“Thanks, all of you, t-thank y-you, eek, thank you so much! The best!”
“Yup! You guys too! Even Un-gu and Raccoon Brother didn’t miss a single beat! We were really good today! Hehe! Woo Cheong Cheong is so proud!”
A camera moved in on Woo Cheong as he patted his teammates on the back and praised them, then praised himself, too. He leaned toward it and flashed a bright peace sign, thrilled.
“Director! Did you see our stage? Wasn’t it cool?!”
Startled by the way Woo Cheong suddenly addressed him, the director nodded by shaking the camera instead of his head. Woo Cheong seemed satisfied and backed away.
Neoul wiped the sweat from his forehead, then gave a quiet, pleased smile when the camera approached. He remembered the past week of practice, which had felt like hell.
— There’s a perfect Korean ghost for this!
— What is it?
— Changwi. It’s a ghost of someone killed by a tiger, and it lures people it knows into calling out to it and draws them toward the tiger.
— Why?
— So it can escape from the tiger, they say. What do you think? Scary and intense, right?
After the concept was changed to Changwi, Woo Cheong revised the choreography. Baek Gi-yeom handled the lyrics rewrite and relayed the arrangement direction, while middle-schooler Ko Un-gu took charge of delivering the costume concept.
Neoul only had to follow their lead.
But dancing was still the problem, and the team’s turn-taking help had not been enough for him to learn the choreography properly.
The one who taught him was Baek Namu.
Baek Namu, who had been loitering near Baek Yuri and watching for lack of anything better to do, had evidently gotten bored and wandered over to Neoul, too.
He frowned at Neoul’s dancing, then checked the choreography video Woo Cheong had recorded for the team. After that, in an exceedingly kind voice, he offered his help.
— Want me to help you, mermaid prince?
Neoul, deeply moved, nodded. The moment the lesson began, Baek Namu transformed into an utterly strict dance teacher.
— Head up! One, two, three, four! Left! Again! Hey, don’t let your expression fall apart! You have to take care of your face too!
— Hhhk… I am dying. Please save me.
— You little punk! If you collapse after this, how are you supposed to handle the stage! Get up! Focus!
Baek Namu meticulously coached him, demonstrating not only the dance but the facial acting as well. Neoul had no experience with acting, but he kept copying what Baek Namu showed him, as if it had been pasted directly into place.
— Your learning speed isn’t bad.
Only, he was not very good at multitasking. Every time his face broke while he was trying to focus on the dance, a thunderous scolding would come crashing down on him.
By day, he adjusted formations and choreography with his teammates. By night, he received lessons from Baek Namu. Day by day, Neoul improved at a startling pace.
— Raccoon Brother. I think your lines are starting to have just a tiny bit of shape…?
It said everything that even Woo Cheong was surprised enough to admit it. In the end, Neoul finished the stage flawlessly, without a single mistake.
Having poured everything he had into it and turned into a wreck, Neoul now only wanted to fall over and sleep.
But then the signal came for them to go back on stage.
* * *
MC Jeong On-doga introduced the two teams participating in the fourth team match, one after the other.
“A powerful, high-energy performance from the ‘Sori ZEALOUS’ team! The song you covered is, and by changing just one letter from J to Z, you’ve turned a word meaning jealousy into one meaning zeal!”
“Yes! We chose the team name with the determination to transform even emotions like jealousy into passion and show you an even cooler side of us!”
“And we also added the double meaning of ‘Scream Loudly!’”
Introductions continued, and cheers of all sizes rolled through the audience.
“Hello. I’m Baek Yuri.”
Screeeeeam!!
The roar for Baek Yuri was overwhelming.
Neoul’s teammates were frozen stiff, their faces tense with nerves. It seemed they were worried they wouldn’t get a response on the same level as the rival team. Only the self-assured Woo Cheong and clueless Neoul remained calm.
“Next is the ‘One Rice Cake and I Won’t Eat You Up’ team! The team name brings a tiger to mind, so what does it mean?”
“Yes! We—”
Woo Cheong grabbed the microphone and launched eagerly into an explanation. Then, as he introduced himself, he made every kind of heart gesture he could think of: a big heart, a small heart, finger hearts, a bitten heart, a cheek heart, an elbow heart, and more, showing off to the point of absurdity.
“Nice to meet you! Everyone! I’m Woo Cheong!”
He spilled hearts like a vending machine with a broken button.
Screeeeeeam!
When the cheers burst out, Woo Cheong smiled so broadly his dimples showed. The teammates who had worried and fretted were relieved to see that they had all received good reactions after all.
Watching the junior team members flail around in excitement, Neoul’s face went pale.
Why are they acting like that…?
Was he supposed to shamelessly sweet-talk people like that, too?
Fortunately, the remaining Baek Gi-yeom kept his greeting short and bright.
“I’m Baek Gi-yeom-nyang.”
He looked over the people seated in the audience one by one, flashed his trademark refreshing grin, and waved with both hands. Deep dimples dug into both of his cheeks.
“Hello. I’m Gal Neoul.”
With an introduction he had grown used to by now, Neoul also waved along with his teammates.
Ahhh! Ahh!
Found a nation for Gal Neoul!!
“……?”
The somewhat intense reaction turned Neoul’s previously calm face to bafflement.
“Why are you telling me to found a nation…?”
My father is already king, so why would I need to establish a country, too?
At any rate, the voting began.
“Yes! Then let’s begin the vote right away! If you liked the ‘Scream Louder’ team’s performance better, press number 1! If you preferred the ‘One Rice Cake and I Won’t Eat You Up’ team, press number 2 and hold it down!”
As the team members held up two fingers, Neoul quietly followed suit and raised two fingers as well.
The audience busily pressed buttons on their remotes.
When the voting ended, numbers appeared above the heads of the two teams standing side by side on stage, projected as holograms.
The count that had been racing upward from zero gradually slowed, then the result appeared.
[229 : 241]
Screeeeeeam!
Whoooooa!
As screams and cheers burst from the seats, the participants jerked their heads up to stare at the numbers.
“Huuuh…!”
“Whoa!”
By just twelve votes, victory belonged to the “One Rice Cake and I Won’t Eat You Up” team.
Neoul’s teammates let out silent cries of triumph, shaking his shoulders, thumping his back, grabbing his arms, and stamping their feet in delight.
Neoul thought it was nice that they had won, but he had no idea why the humans were manhandling him, so he just stood there. It did not really hurt.
Daiki, overcome with emotion, covered his face and turned away, weeping loudly.
“Daiki-hyung, we won, so why are you crying! Don’t cry! If anyone cries, I’m gonna start crying too, sobbing and blubbering and—”
Ko Un-gu scolded Daiki, then began crying along with him.
The audience was just as noisy as the stage. Neoul looked carefully at each person who was celebrating his team’s victory for them.
They were all strangers whose names he did not know and whose faces he had never seen before.
How did they find their way here to cheer for me?
The fundamental question rose in his mind.
And why?
Why were they cheering for him?
No one in the audience answered Neoul’s question. But they were shouting at the top of their lungs, calling for him.
Neoul-aaah! Good jobbbb!
Your stage was sooooo cool!
When he had come down from the stage after giving thanks, that gratitude had not been sincere. The teammates had all done it, so he had simply followed along without understanding why.
But now Neoul’s mouth moved on its own.
I haven’t done anything for them. I still don’t know why they are shouting until their throats hurt and cheering for me, but…
“Thank you.”
He was grateful. This time, it was sincere.
* * *
After the first round of voting came the individual vote.
The announcement followed that viewers should vote for the one participant who had shown the most impressive stage across both teams.
The reward for the individual vote, and the winner, would be revealed at the ranking announcement ceremony.
After coming down from the stage, Neoul’s teammates covered up their joy and pressed their lips shut.
Even though they had applauded on stage, the atmosphere had grown somber when one of the rival team members, who had been unable to hide his dejection, burst into tears the moment he stepped down from the stage.
“It’s my fault. If I hadn’t fallen, we wouldn’t have lost…!”
He was the participant who had made the mistake of tumbling flat onto his backside.
Neoul recognized him as the very same teammate who had once raged at Baek Yuri, claiming that no matter how hard he tried, it still would not work and making trouble.
After the crushing loss in the running match Neoul had proposed with Baek Yuri, he seemed to have calmed himself down and, with a slightly clearer head, realized how he must have looked on camera. He also seemed to understand that he had cast a shadow over the mood and caused trouble for his teammates.
He still looked sheepish, but he seemed to be making earnest efforts to make up for the mistake, practicing diligently under Baek Yuri’s lead.
Neoul remembered Baek Yuri, who used to seek out Baek Namu when left alone, blaming himself and sinking into gloom, gradually regaining a better expression.
“It’s not your fault. We did well enough. We gave it our best. The other team just did better, so they got more votes. It wasn’t because you fell. And next time, we just have to do even better and win.”
Baek Yuri comforted his teammate with mature patience.
The younger participant sniffled, then mumbled through a voice clogged with tears.
“But it was only by twelve votes. We were perfect during rehearsal, too…. I’m frustrated, angry, and upset because of it. And I’m sorry to you guys, too. We really, really worked hard. Honestly, this is the first time in my life I’ve ever worked this hard, to the point where it felt like I was going to die.”
In his tone there was no sign of the irritability that came from pretending to try; instead, there spilled out the regret, lingering attachment, injustice, and sorrow of someone who had truly done his best.
Baek Yuri said,
“I know you gave this stage your all, and all of us on the team know it too. I’m sure the viewers will see it as well.”
Baek Yuri’s voice was soft and gentle, yet firm. He must have been just as disappointed by the loss, but he still smiled at the younger participant.
“What matters isn’t winning or losing this one contest right now. What matters more is that your skills have improved so much while preparing for this stage. Because you pushed yourself this hard and felt this upset and cried this much, your second-best effort will come a lot easier.”
“……”
“Then by the next performance, your skills will have climbed again, and you’ll do even better on stage. People will notice your growth and cheer for you even louder.”
At the certainty in Baek Yuri’s voice, the young participant nodded as if under a spell.
“……”
“So don’t blame yourself. Be upset for a moment, then shake it off quickly, all right? You worked hard, so you can be proud of yourself.”
Wiping away his tears and nodding, the participant looked much better. Baek Yuri’s words seemed to have struck home.
“Earlier… I’m sorry for getting annoyed and angry. I shouldn’t have acted like that toward the hyung who worked hard to help and lead me, but I was rude and made things difficult….”
Baek Yuri laughed brightly at his hesitant apology.
“Thanks for apologizing. Feeling better now?”
“Yeah….”
“Good. Let’s head to the waiting room.”
From a little way off, where he and the teammates had been watching, Baek Gi-yeom said,
“Should we go too?”
As Neoul headed to the waiting room with the team, he looked at the back of Baek Yuri’s head. Baek Yuri had glanced lightly toward the camera, then turned his face forward again.
After seeing Baek Yuri alone in the practice room, speaking to his deceased brother once the camera had gone off, Neoul had thought of him as a fragile person.
It feels like everything is my fault.
Why am I always so pathetic and foolish?
He had seemed to carry a lack of confidence and a deep darkness and anxiety in his arms.
But what he had just seen was like a great, solid tree that would never bend.
Anyone would be bitter after losing, and anyone would hurt after falling. Yet Baek Yuri looked like someone who did not hesitate in the slightest, someone who could immediately look ahead to what came next and smile.
Was that the real Baek Yuri, or was it a made-up fake?
If it is acting, living like that must be terribly exhausting.
To Neoul’s eyes, Baek Yuri looked as though he lived behind a thick, sturdy mask whenever he stood before cameras and people. Something painstakingly and carefully crafted so no one would know that what they were seeing was a mask.
Wouldn’t it be heavy?
Always wearing a mask and pretending to be cheerful….
Wouldn’t it be burdensome?
Neoul stared at Baek Yuri’s steady back and thought of the Dragon King’s broad shoulders.
The Dragon King, too, used to act solemn in front of his subjects. He always presented himself as a majestic, charismatic ruler.
Watching him, Neoul had thought his father was completely honest in front of him alone. A doting father, a fussbudget, full of nagging and worry, sometimes even throwing his weight around, but a very healthy and vigorous… the strongest dragon in all the sea.
That was all he had thought.
But he had never dreamed that he, too, had been wearing a thick mask even in front of his son Neoul, to hide the deep pallor of illness.
Must it have been heavy?
Acting as if everything was fine. Acting as if he was well. Acting as if nothing was wrong.
Must it have been burdensome, too?
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