Smooth Sailing and Rough Waters
Neoul, the worst dancer among the team, threw himself into choreography practice with clumsy but determined fervor. His limbs moved with far more freedom than before.
Fortunately, Woo Cheong had not drastically revised the original routine. He had kept the basic structure intact and only tweaked a few sections here and there, so filling in the movements in Neoul’s head was not much trouble.
The girl ghosts hanging from the ceiling and muttering to themselves were noisy, but...
Something else was far more distracting.
“No matter how many times I do it, I’m telling you, it won’t work!”
“Then keep practicing until it does. It looked like you were almost there just now, so let’s try it again. Hm?”
“Look at this! You don’t know what it feels like to be someone who just can’t do something, no matter how hard they try! That’s why you picked such a hard song without even talking to me first! Because you’re good at everything!”
From the practice room on the right, someone shoved the door open with a crash and shouted. Baek Yuri’s voice came too, soothing the angry team member with gentle words.
Other voices layered over theirs.
“Just tell him to get lost. Why are you even holding on to him?”
“Hey, read the room. Shut up.”
“No, but it’s infuriating. He lazes around making excuse after excuse, doesn’t practice, and then takes it out on us for no reason. Why should we lower the difficulty because of one person?”
“Turn off your mic before you talk.”
“You don’t get to order me around.”
The atmosphere grew more and more vicious.
Amid the uproar that echoed down the hallway, the left practice room door opened too. This time, the sound of someone crying and running out in tears came from inside.
“My part is the smallest one already! I won’t even get ten seconds on camera! Then why did you pick fourteen people? If I get cut, it’s all because of Yeo Do-bin!”
Oh...
It was chaos on both sides.
The left practice room belonged to Yeo Do-bin and the fourteen-member team.
“S-sorry... Then you can have my part, then... ”
“Hey, hey, Do-bin. That’s not the point. You already gave away all the other parts and only have one bridge line left.”
“But...”
“It’s the high note in the bridge! I’m a rapper, how am I supposed to sing that? Are you trying to make me crack on stage?”
“N-no, that’s not it...!”
Because Yeo Do-bin’s team was so large, practice seemed to be going nowhere due to the constant fight over line distribution.
They had each tried for the parts they wanted and sang them out, then voted for the strongest singers. Naturally, the better two or three people ended up with most of the lines, and conflict broke out.
They had tried to redistribute things more evenly later, but one complaint after another kept cropping up.
Usually, a few of the younger contestants would lose their temper, flush red, and run outside to avoid the cameras. But the hallway had cameras too.
“This is a problem...”
Neoul murmured, straining to listen toward the door.
“Right. The leaders are going to have a rough time. Baek Yuri’s hair can survive all the bleach it wants, but at this rate he might stress himself bald today.”
Baek Gi-yeom shook his head and showed Neoul the movement again as Neoul flailed through the dance.
Neoul flailed again.
“It would be unfortunate if Baek Yuri-sen saeng went bald.”
“Huh? R-really? Wigs are pretty good these days, but still, he’s an idol trainee, so that’d be a bit of a problem, wouldn’t it...?”
“Baek Yuri-sen saeng’s hair is not important right now.”
“Then what is the problem?”
Neoul looked toward the door. Their teammates had just stepped out for a bit, supposedly to do interviews.
But in truth, they had not gone out for interviews at all.
* * *
There was one event that always turned up at least once in idol variety shows.
A birthday surprise camera.
Usually, the members would pretend to fight with one another, make the birthday lead feel uneasy, then, at the peak of the tension, come in with a cake and reveal that it had all been a surprise camera.
It gave viewers a bit of fun, since they could see how the person being fooled handled the conflict, and also watch the other trainees act. It was a small but reliable source of amusement.
But these surprise cameras could make the person being fooled feel like a fool, and many viewers disliked them on the grounds that it was cruel to upset someone on what should have been a happy birthday.
And people always complain that they milk the same trick over and over, so it gets stale too.
For that reason, Producer Seok O-yeong prepared a new kind of surprise camera to fit the healing-variety concept.
It happened that one of the current filming-day birthdays was Baek Gi-yeom, born on July 16, so he called in the members of his team and gave them roles for a birthday surprise camera.
“We’re going to fool the Garl Neoul contestant by telling him that he’s actually a man from forty years in the future and that he’s Baek Gi-yeom’s son! If he asks why the surnames are different, say he took his mother’s.”
“Pardon...?”
Producer Seok O-yeong wore a sly smile as he pressed a tear stick into Neoul’s hand.
“The key is to sound as serious as possible. Put it on secretly near your eyes and act like you’re crying while you fool him. The other team members will be called in under the pretense of an interview. Then the Garl Neoul contestant will keep acting, and meanwhile the other members will come in with the cake and sing the birthday song.”
There were several reasons he had chosen Garl Neoul as the actor to fool Baek Gi-yeom.
For one thing, he had no public history, no trainee experience, and no school record. He said he had been sick a lot since childhood, but he looked as if he had simply dropped out of the sky.
Baek Gi-yeom knew most of the contestants already, at least indirectly, since he had a wide network. So if the premise of the prank required someone who had no existing friendship with him, Garl Neoul was the right choice.
Also, from everything Producer Seok had observed while monitoring the footage so far, the Garl Neoul contestant seemed naturally even-tempered and gentle. At times, there was even a childlike innocence that had not yet been worn away.
In other words, he gave the impression of someone who would not be very good at lying.
And yet in his first appearance, Garl Neoul had openly played along with a skit for Baek Yuri, claiming out of the blue that he was a prince from the Dragon Palace. He had delivered the bit with unexpectedly convincing force.
The sight of someone who looked so ingenuous acting with such outrageous confidence seemed like it would be funny.
As for Baek Gi-yeom, he had a fierce face but a very bright and kind personality. Still, he did not seem like the sort of person who would fall so easily for such a ridiculous prank.
It would be funny if Neoul fooled him completely, but it might also show off the chemistry between the contestants if Baek Gi-yeom pretended to be fooled.
And if Neoul turned in terrible acting, that would be funny in its own way too.
Whether or not he understood Producer Seok O-yeong’s intentions, Garl Neoul was asking Woo Cheong what cake was. Woo Cheong explained that it was a very sweet, soft, and delicious snack.
“Neoguri hyeongnim, you’ve never had cake?”
When Neoul nodded at Woo Cheong’s question, Woo Cheong made a profoundly shocked face.
“Then you’ve never had a birthday party... ever...”
For some reason, he seemed to have misunderstood. Woo Cheong’s mouth drooped with the look of someone taking pity on the most unfortunate soul in the world. Ko Un-gu and Daiki, standing beside him, looked the same.
Even Producer Seok clicked his tongue inwardly.
He says he’s never even had kimbap, and that every food is his first time trying it... No matter how sick the kid has been, how could he have gone his whole life without seeing any delicious food at all?
Everyone looked at Garl Neoul with sympathy, but he only wore the same puzzled expression he always did.
“......?”
His face seemed to ask, Why are they acting like that?
Neoul did not seem to care whether they pitied him or not; the cake they said was sweet and delicious had caught his attention far more.
* * *
And so, back to the present. The plan had originally been to wait until ten minutes after the team members left, then set the mood and fool Baek Gi-yeom.
But five minutes later, thanks to a fight breaking out in Baek Yuri’s team and Yeo Do-bin’s team, the hallway had turned loud enough that it was no longer a good moment to spout nonsense like, “I’m actually your son,” or “Your my father.”
We need to deal with those first!
Neoul hurriedly opened the door and stepped into the hallway.
On the right side stood a huffing, fuming human, Baek Yuri trying to calm him, and two of Baek Yuri’s teammates peeking out from the doorway.
On the left side, a crying human crouched in a camera blind spot, Yeo Do-bin crouched in front of him in obvious fluster, and the rest of Yeo Do-bin’s team were clustered together with pained expressions.
Neoul first grabbed the troublesome team member on the right and Baek Yuri by the arms and dragged them both away.
“W-what are you doing?!”
“Neoul-ssi?”
“Neoul! Why are you doing that! Where are you taking us?”
Baek Gi-yeom, startled, rushed after them from behind. The camera hurried to follow the contestants as they moved out into the hall. Once outside, Neoul answered without further explanation.
“The one who runs from here to the far end wins.”
“Huh?!”
“Neoul-ssi. Why are we suddenly having a race...?”
Neoul smiled gently at the two of them.
“The winner’s words must be obeyed without complaint.”
“No, we’re not doing that.”
“Neoul-ssi.”
Even Baek Yuri looked flustered, as if this was not the right approach, but Neoul did not care.
“One, two, go!”
“Damn it!”
The troublesome team member who had been snapping a moment ago acted as though he would never run, then shot forward at full speed. Baek Yuri followed, still looking dazed.
He could not quite shake the feeling that this was not really proper, so he held back just a little, but at the very end he came back five steps faster.
“Ah! I lost! This is ruined!”
The troublesome team member shouted through gritted teeth.
“You suddenly made me run, so I wasn’t ready! Best of three! Let’s do it as a three-match series! That last one doesn’t count. This starts now!”
“Very well.”
Baek Yuri agreed at once.
At first glance, it looked as though he were indulging a tantrum, but in truth he was confident he could win three times out of three, or ten times out of ten, if necessary.
His head ached a little at the thought of whether this was really necessary, but... if the team member himself was the one asking for a rematch, then he probably would not complain after losing.
“Ready.”
“Wait, wait a second!”
The team member loosened up with stretches, splitting his legs, circling his ankles, and touching both hands to the floor like a runner at the starting line.
“Okay!”
“Ready. Go!”
Whoosh! Cutting through the wind, the two of them sprang forward.
The result was a complete victory for Baek Yuri.
The troublesome team member collapsed onto the floor, gasping. Sweat beaded on the bridge of his nose. Baek Yuri, by contrast, seemed barely winded. A little warm, perhaps, but otherwise fine.
Seeing that, the troublesome team member grew even more sulky and wildly kicked at the air. Then he looked up at the clear sky, where the clouds drifted lazily, and got back to his feet before speaking in a slightly calmer voice to Baek Yuri.
“Go back inside. I’ll try once more.”
Baek Yuri stared at him, eyes round with surprise.
“Really! Thanks for reconsidering!”
His voice was a little dazed, but brighter now. Baek Yuri mouthed at Neoul,
What did you do?
Neoul shrugged. He had not done anything special; he had simply remembered how, in the Dragon Palace, disputes among soldiers were often settled by a swimming match or a strength contest.
Order in the Dragon Palace was maintained by following the word of the stronger, the faster, or the more learned. That was also the simple reason the sea had a king-dragon in the first place. The strongest and wisest should rule, because the strong could protect the weak.
And after a good round of exercise, the mind feels clearer.
Perhaps, once they had run around a bit, the sharp-edged emotions that had gotten ahead of reason would soften as well.
“Wow. That actually... solved it...?”
Baek Gi-yeom murmured quietly behind Neoul.
When they went back into the hallway, Yeo Do-bin and his team, who had been watching everything from the window, hurriedly pulled away from the glass.
Neoul stared at the young team member, who clearly looked as if he had just stopped crying, and then at Yeo Do-bin. He was about to suggest that they all go outside and have a race too.
“W-we’ll handle it ourselves!”
The older member on Yeo Do-bin’s team hurried forward, patting the younger one on the back and waving him inside.
“Sorry for making a scene!”
The team members filed back inside in a rush, and Yeo Do-bin, after a moment of hesitation, bowed his head and followed them in before closing the door.
“I hope that team gets things sorted out too. Right?”
Baek Gi-yeom whispered.
Neoul nodded and looked quietly at the closed door. Then, just as he was about to go back into the practice room with Baek Gi-yeom, he turned his head and caught sight of people sneaking up with a cake in the distance behind Baek Gi-yeom.
Already!
Neoul’s eyes widened, and Baek Gi-yeom started to turn around. Neoul hurriedly grabbed the collar of Baek Gi-yeom’s shirt and shook him so he could not look back.
“Kek! Why, why are you doing that, Neoul!”
Before the cake arrived, Neoul shouted in urgent alarm.
“Father! No, Father!”
“Huh?”
“I, no, I came from the future forty years from now to meet my father! Father!”
Baek Yuri and the teammate who had been about to go back into the practice room both dropped their jaws at Neoul’s sudden bombshell.
Baek Gi-yeom raised his brows, looking around as if to ask what on earth was going on.
In that instant, Neoul ruthlessly covered Baek Gi-yeom’s eyes with one hand and rubbed the tear stick around his own eye.
Aaagh! It burns!
Tears sprang up at once and streamed down his face.
He tore his hand away from Baek Gi-yeom’s eyes and rushed on, but the burning in his eyes made it impossible to keep them open.
“I, your unworthy son Neoul, greet the great fa... th... er!”
In the face of the bizarre situation, Baek Gi-yeom froze for half a second as if time had stopped, then clamped his lips shut and shook with the effort of holding back laughter.
This is a surprise camera, isn’t it?
It was ironic that he was claiming to have come from the future while speaking in Joseon-era court speech.
Baek Gi-yeom widened his eyes dramatically as though genuinely shocked, then grabbed Neoul by the shoulders and happily joined this absurd comedy.
“All right! Welcome, my son! But why are you here?!”
“I bear the surname Garl because I took my mother’s!”
The answer to the expected question that Producer Seok had prepared for came out all wrong from Neoul’s mouth. Baek Gi-yeom lowered his head, his jaw trembling again as he tried not to laugh, then looked back up with a perfectly composed face and answered smoothly.
“That’s not terribly important, my son! Surely you brought the lottery numbers with you?”
“Lot... tery numbers? What are those...?”
“My, how lacking in sense you are, my son. Do you perhaps have any older or younger siblings?”
That had not been one of the expected questions!
Neoul wiped away his streaming tears and answered at random.
“None?”
“Then to think you were born with your first child at forty-two, you must have married rather late! What a truly professional idol life! I suppose I’m debuting successfully!”
Had he fallen for it?
Neoul blinked uncertainly. His eyes burned too much to open them properly, so he could not see well. The voice only made him more confused.
If anything, it almost sounded like he was being teased instead of fooled.
Still, Neoul answered energetically for the sake of the act.
“Yes! That is right! Exactly that!”
“Ho? Exactly what!”
Hahahaha!
Baek Gi-yeom burst out laughing freely. Neoul, putting his whole soul into tears and nonsense for this ridiculous premise, was hilarious.
“You should put away the tear stick in your hand before you lie!”
“Ah...!”
Just as Neoul was frantically stuffing the tear stick into his pocket, a cake with a single lit candle arrived. Ko Un-gu and Daiki set off party poppers from both sides.
Bang! Bang!
At the sound of the poppers, Baek Gi-yeom and Neoul both jumped in surprise. Turning around, Baek Gi-yeom spotted the cake and let out a single sound of realization.
“Ah.”
He had expected a surprise camera, but clearly not a birthday cake.
“Happy birthday, Giyomi-hyeongnim!”
Woo Cheong offered his congratulations and then dipped a bit of whipped cream onto his finger and smeared it all over Baek Gi-yeom’s face.
“Ack, thank you, everyone...! I was wondering what in the world was going on all of a sudden! So today was my birthday! I’ve been so busy I didn’t even realize it.”
Even though he knew this was a filming event arranged by the production team to get amusing footage, Baek Gi-yeom looked down at the cake and, for some reason, his brows drooped with a touched expression.
Then he laughed brightly.
“So Neoul became my son because of this?! Son! Hahaha! Thanks for this! Let’s cut the cake and eat, son!”
Neoul held out the tear stick and complained with a wounded air.
“From this day forward, I shall never again put such a vile thing near my eyes.”
With both eyes swollen and puffy, he grumbled, then was quickly robbed of all thought by the white whipped cream cake. Baek Gi-yeom, muttering, “As expected of a glutton,” laughed heartily with whipped cream on the bridge of his nose.
Watching the scene on the monitor, Producer Seok O-yeong snickered as he saw Neoul eating cake with his eyes swollen like sausages.
He had not expected the prank to become so frantic and clumsy, but Neoul’s flustered reactions were genuinely funny.
“If we edit him as something like, ‘a vocal genius who’s a total airhead,’ that might work well,” the assistant director said, looking at Garl Neoul on the screen.
Producer Seok O-yeong tapped his foot and murmured, “That’s not bad either.”
There might be a direction that brought the character out even more clearly.
“Let’s keep watching.”
As he stood up, the corners of his mouth lifted in a grin.
---