The Dark Elves' Itch and the Illusion King's 300-Year Nap
“Ah… Aah…!”
A stifled moan escaped from Kaila, the third legion commander of the Illusion King's legion—a dark elf warrior.
The cold-blooded female soldier who wouldn’t flinch even if her arm was severed on the battlefield was crumbling from nothing more than ointment applied to her wrist.
Her wrist. Skin that had been blackened and cracked like a turtle’s shell for decades was now baby-smooth where the ointment had touched.
But the real miracle was the sensation. That maddening itch that burrowed into her bones, that tortured her nerves even in sleep or while eating—it had vanished like a lie.
“What… what kind of magic is this?”
Kaila looked up at Jinhyeok with trembling eyes.
Was this human a mage?
No, it was a curse no high-level healing magic could touch.
Yet a simple white cream had fixed it?
Jinhyeok snorted derisively.
“Magic? Please. It’s just steroids mixed with antifungals. Your legion’s condition? Not a curse.”
Jinhyeok pointed at Kaila’s leather armor with his finger.
“Wearing non-breathable leather in this damp Abyss basement 365 days a year? Your skin’s rotting. Up in the human world, we call it ‘athlete’s foot’ or ‘eczema.’ Super common.”
“Ath… lete’s foot?”
“Yeah. Means the fungus is having a party in there.”
Kaila’s face flushed red. Mold on a noble dark elf’s body? Humiliating.
But stronger than the shame was the hope: it could be cured.
“Do you… have more of that ointment?”
Kaila asked, swallowing her pride.
“My armpits… and inner thighs… they’re driving me insane.”
“Plenty. But like I said, nothing’s free.”
Jinhyeok pretended to punch numbers on a calculator. Then he scanned the 50 dark elf soldiers lined up behind Kaila.
They stood sternly with spears in hand, but up close, they were crossing legs or slipping hands into armor gaps, barely holding back the urge to scratch.
“Looks like your subordinates caught it too. Might as well treat the whole lot. I can hear the rumors about your legion’s combat drop from here.”
Kaila bit her lip. She couldn’t deny it.
Lately, the itching had eroded her soldiers’ focus, spiking mission failure rates.
This wasn’t just a disease—it threatened the legion’s survival.
“Fine. Treat them. I’ll pay handsomely.”
Kaila dismounted her black panther and knelt.
Her legs had gone weak from the itch anyway.
Jinhyeok grinned and turned back.
“Alright, everyone hear that? Business is open!”
“Ha… You’re really doing this?”
Shinwoo stuck out his tongue in disbelief.
“Gotta make money. Dongtak, line up the patients. Jihu, make some ice packs.”
“Why do I have to do ice packs…?”
“Cooling’s the best for soothing skin. Hurry up, Ice Emperor.”
Korea’s S-rank hunters grumbled into action. An impromptu clinic sprang up in the courtyard.
Specialty: Arcana Dermatology - Abyss Branch #1.
“Next patient! Come on in!”
Park Cheolwoo—no, Ma Dongtak—bellowed.
The first was a dark elf adjutant.
He shuffled in and sat before Jinhyeok.
Off came the armor, revealing his entire back covered in red patches and pus.
“Whoa, that’s bad. Bet you haven’t slept a wink.”
Jinhyeok clicked his tongue. The adjutant nodded, eyes tearing up.
“I’d wake up scratching without realizing, blood everywhere… My armor stuck to the wounds.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you sleep like a baby tonight.”
Jinhyeok filled a basin with water, added disinfectant, and scrubbed the wounds with a rough brush.
“Aaaagh! It hurts!”
“Feels good, right? Shedding the dead skin. Hold still.”
After disinfecting, he pressed on an ice pack from Jihu.
“Ooooh…”
An uncle-like groan escaped the adjutant. The burning heat vanished instantly.
Next, Jinhyeok’s special ointment—Earth cream boosted 100x with Abyss herbs.
Gloved hands slathered it on thick.
“Twice a day. Wear breathable clothes for now. No armor.”
“B-but without armor, my defense…”
“Die itching or die to a sword—same difference. Heal first.”
Treatment done, the adjutant stood with a floating expression.
He rummaged in his pouch: Illusion Mushrooms from the eastern woods and Shadow Spider Silk.
“This enough? It’s all I have…”
“Plenty. Next!”
Treatments flew by.
Athlete’s foot elves, eczema elves, atopic elves… Dark elves loved the dark, making skin issues their destiny.
“Doc! My groin…”
“Pants down. No shame. To a doctor, you’re all just meat.”
“Doc! My scalp itches so bad, I’m going bald!”
“Seborrheic dermatitis. Use this shampoo. Menthol—feels cool.”
An hour later, all 50 dark elves were treated. They sprawled in the courtyard—not from pain, but overwhelming cool relief.
“I… I can live…”
“No itch… really no itch…”
Freed from hellish torment, the elves looked enlightened monks.
Kaila was no different.
Armor off, she wore Jinhyeok’s loaned patient gown—loose and airy.
Pride stung, but the comfort was irresistible.
“Human… no, Doctor.”
Kaila approached Jinhyeok. Her attitude had flipped 180 degrees.
The killer glare was gone, replaced by deep respect and gratitude.
“Thank you. My legion feels reborn.”
“No biggie. Payment?”
Kaila opened her panther’s saddlebag, pulling a jet-black jewel box. Inside: a thin, transparent cloth like captured starlight.
◈ Woven from the Illusion King's spider silk. Stealth +500% when worn. Creates illusion clones that nullify physical attacks.
“Whoa.”
Shinwoo, watching, gaped.
“That’s a legend item, right? Auction it on Earth, sky’s the limit.”
“Enough for the bill?”
“More than. Big spender, Commander.”
Jinhyeok pocketed the cloak, satisfied. But that wasn’t the real goal.
“Treatment and payment done. Now, business.”
“Business?”
“Told you. Take me to your king.”
Kaila’s face hardened.
Illusion King.
Ruler of the east, her liege.
But she hesitated to speak.
“You want to… see His Majesty?”
“Yeah. House call time. Looks like he’s in bad shape too.”
“……”
Kaila sighed. After waving off her subordinates, she whispered.
“Truth is… His Majesty’s condition is critical.”
“What’s wrong?”
“He… can’t sleep.”
“Insomnia?”
“Not simple insomnia. 300 years. Not a single second in 300 years.”
300 years. A human would’ve gone mad and died. Even a demon king was hanging by a thread—mind on the brink.
“The Illusion King’s power: ‘Eyes that See the Unseen.’ He sees too much. Past, future, others’ malice… Illusions haunt him even with eyes closed.”
Sadness tinged Kaila’s voice.
“As his madness worsens, the eastern forest drowns in hallucinations. Our skin issues got worse from it.”
Jinhyeok nodded.
Stress-induced immune drop.
King goes mad, land sickens, people sicken. Classic vicious cycle.
“Can you cure him?”
Kaila pleaded.
“Skin’s fixed, but… heart ailments are another story.”
Jinhyeok smirked.
Heart? Psychiatry?
That was his wheelhouse—modern medicine, or rather, K-salaried worker expertise.
“Don’t worry. I specialize in sleep clinics too.”
“Really?”
“Yup. Got remedies for sleepless nights. Physical or chemical.”
Jinhyeok clenched and unclenched his fist.
“Lead the way. Let’s tuck in the king.”
Deep in the eastern woods. Path to the Illusion King’s castle, Mirage Castle.
Jinhyeok and the hunters followed Kaila.
Yoo Isu lounged in a palanquin carried by Dongtak; Jinhyeok rode Balakas.
“But Director, psychiatry isn’t your specialty, right?”
Jihu asked quietly.
“Vets gotta be all-rounders. Gotta counsel dogs with depression too.”
“Dogs get depression?”
“If the owner pulls all-nighters and skips walks. Illusion King’s the same. Awake too long, nerves fried.”
Jinhyeok checked his bag: sedatives, nerve stabilizers, and… Giant Bonk Hammer (KO Edition).
If talk fails, go physical.
The woods parted to reveal a massive castle.
Shrouded in hazy mist, walls rippled, shifting forms. Dizzying, mad architecture.
“We’re here. Mirage Castle.”
Kaila stopped at the gates. Guards crossed spears.
“Halt! No outsiders!”
“Stand aside. I’ve brought the doctor to treat His Majesty.”
“Doctor? A human doctor? But His Majesty’s…”
“KyaAAAAAHHH!!”
A bloodcurdling scream echoed from inside. The castle mist blackened; nearby trees withered. The king’s fit.
“Y-Your Majesty!”
Kaila paled, rushing in. Jinhyeok spurred Balakas.
“Let’s go. Perfect timing.”
Inside the throne room: hell.
Ornate throne shattered, floor littered with mirror shards.
Center: a gaunt man rolling, clawing his hair.
Pale skin, hollow eyes, wild purple hair. The eastern ruler: Illusion King.
“Begone! Get out! Don’t look at me! Stop screaming!”
He shrieked at empty air, eyes full of unseen monsters.
Each swing unleashed mana blasts, smashing pillars.
“Your Majesty! Calm down!”
Kaila lunged but bounced off a mana bolt.
“Urk…!”
“Danger! Shields up!”
Shinwoo threw up a barrier.
S-rank demon king rampage. One wrong move, castle gone.
“What now? Subdue him?”
Dongtak raised his shield.
“No. Wait.”
Jinhyeok stepped forward. No shield, no weapon.
“Director!”
The king’s unfocused eyes locked on Jinhyeok.
“Who… are you? Another specter tormenting me?”
Killer tone. Jinhyeok replied flatly.
“No specter. Here for the night shift.”
Jinhyeok pulled something from his pocket. Not a weapon or potion—a small metronome.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
The steady rhythm echoed in the mad throne room.
The king’s gaze fixed. A strange sound—simple, rhythmic, unheard in 300 years.
“Shut it… take it away…”
“Focus. On the sound.”
Mana laced Jinhyeok’s voice.
Beast Taming (A) - Psychological Stabilization
Meant for calming feral beasts, but it worked on a broken-minded demon king too.
“You’re sleepy now. Very sleepy.”
“Don’t mock me! I can’t sleep! Close my eyes, they appear!”
“They’re gone. I’ll block them.”
Jinhyeok snapped his fingers.
“Jihu! Dark Ice!”
“Huh? Oh, got it!”
Jihu swung his staff.
Black ice mist bloomed, veiling the king’s eyes.
Not mere dark—a magical blindfold blocking vision.
“It’s… dark…”
The king staggered. Horrid visions faded behind the ice.
“Shinwoo! Silence!”
“Yup!”
Shinwoo sealed the space, muting noise.
Vision blocked. Hearing blocked. Only Jinhyeok’s voice and the metronome remained.
“Now, lie down comfortably. Beds are science.”
Dongtak dashed, unrolling a fluffy Earth latex mattress.
The king collapsed onto it unwittingly. Softness unknown for 300 years.
“Can I… sleep…?”
He asked like a child.
“You will. I’ll make you.”
Jinhyeok drew his ace.
Sleep Anesthesia: Propofol (Abyss Ver.).
“Medicine time. One, two, three.”
The needle pierced the king’s arm. Potent drug surged through veins.
Eyelids grew leaden. He fought, but Jinhyeok’s warm hand on his forehead melted resistance.
“Rest. No one will bother you.”
“Ah…”
The king’s eyes closed. One second later.
“Snooore… Pffft…”
Real snoring. True sleep.
All elves in the castle clamped mouths shut.
Kaila sank to the floor, tears flowing.
Peace after 300 years. The king slept.
Jinhyeok tossed the empty syringe, wiped sweat.
Then tapped the sleeping king’s chest.
“Sweet dreams, Your Highness. Bill’s waiting when you wake.”
First demon king Strategy.
Conquered not by battle, but forced bedtime.