Please Let Me Live a Normal Life
As I turned to leave the alchemy workshop without so much as a backward glance, the girl in the pointed hat came running after me and caught the hem of my coat.
“W-where do you think you’re going? Didn’t you come here because you had business with me?”
“…Lately, it’s just bad luck when someone I don’t know recognizes me.”
“If that’s the case, then you’ve come to the right place! Come inside!”
“…Fine.”
I remembered what Hans had told me—that she offered free treatment to soldiers suffering from mental trauma after the battlefield—and stepped into the workshop.
It was far larger than her small frame would suggest.
The girl crossed her arms with an air of triumph and introduced herself.
“My name is Luise Senne! I am an alchemist, my dear!”
“I already knew that.”
I stared at her coldly.
“How do you know my name?”
“…Ahaha, why don’t we have a cup of tea first?”
With that, Luise Senne slyly handed me a cup of black tea.
I took a sip before pressing her again.
“How exactly do you know my name?”
“Hehe, it is most impolite to ask a lady such a thing!”
“Are you really a lady? Anyone can see you’re just a kid.”
“How old are you, child? I am twenty-four years of age!”
“…I’m twenty-one.”
“Little brat.”
Luise laughed at me.
“You’ve always had that flaw! Judging everything solely by outward appearance!”
“Always, you say?”
“Indeed. To be perfectly frank, I know about your past. I also know about the memories you have lost.”
For a moment I lost my composure and stepped close to her.
“What are you talking about?”
“…I cannot tell you the details.”
She calmly stroked my chest with her palm as I stood near and continued.
“The most crucial fragments of your memory have been torn away. Even I do not understand the principle behind it.”
“……What the hell does that mean?”
“You don’t understand, do you? Unless one is an alchemist of my caliber, even a full explanation would be beyond your grasp!”
She crossed her arms proudly once more.
“Whether it be swordsmanship or anything else, try whatever you can. It is fine to meet old connections, or those who claim to know you even though they do not exist in your memories.”
She took a sip of tea before continuing.
“Then one day, you shall find it. Your lost memories.”
“……This is really unlucky. You speak as if you’ve read my memories.”
“In truth, I do read people’s memories! That is why rumors call me extraordinary.”
I see.
Realizing this woman belonged to a different category from the others—Princess Adelheid or Elfriede—I felt strangely relieved.
“Thank you for the consultation. What payment would you like?”
“I require no money. You are a discharged soldier as well, are you not?”
“……Thank you.”
I gave a polite bow and left the workshop.
Hans was standing outside, waiting.
“Hey there, Kaspar.”
“Hans. You really do remember every single detail of my routine.”
“We shared a room. It’s no big deal. So, how was the consultation?”
Hans grinned and jabbed me in the side with his elbow.
“She talked like she knew me extremely well. Even though we’d never met.”
“Miss Luise is always like that. Even on a first meeting, she sees right through a person like some kind of sage.”
“That actually put me at ease.”
“Why?”
“The princess and my half-sister both act like they know all about me when I don’t know them at all. It felt like terrible luck.”
“Yeah.”
“But Luise Senne? She said she knows other people just as well, so talking to her actually feels peaceful. Like it settles both mind and body.”
“No wonder the rumors spread.”
Hans chuckled and pulled out his pocket watch to check the time.
“Oh dear, it’s already this late?”
“Got a nice appointment?”
“A date with a lovely lady! I’ll be on my way.”
“……Lucky bastard.”
“You should find yourself a decent woman and start dating too. Might make you feel better. See you later.”
With that, Hans left.
Dating, huh…
Come to think of it, I had gone to the ballroom hoping to find someone to date.
It seemed far more enjoyable than picking up a sword or conversing with women like the princess or Elfriede, as Luise Senne had suggested.
On my way home, I struck up a pleasant conversation with a woman.
We exchanged addresses so we could write letters later.
Her name was Clara.
Standing in the spot where Clara had left, I muttered to myself.
“…This isn’t bad at all.”
I watched the place she had vanished from for a moment, then turned to head home.
It was then.
Swish—
A very faint sound reached my ears.
Not one, but two.
It seemed I had tails on me.
Who would be following me?
Heinrich? That man was certainly capable of it.
But sending two seemed excessive, so I channeled mana into my feet and leaped high into the air.
I moved into their blind spot and observed the two who were tailing me.
They were rather peculiar.
Both wore robes—one embroidered with the emblem of the Royal Knights, the other with that of the Northern Knights.
“The royal family and the North?”
Only one possibility came to mind.
Princess Adelheid and that bastard Heinrich.
In any case, the two suddenly lowered their hoods, saw each other’s faces, and immediately grabbed one another by the collar.
The Royal Knight spoke first.
“You northern vermin. On whose orders are you tailing Lord Kaspar?”
“You’re tailing him too, so what does it matter?”
The Northern Knight looked at him in disbelief.
“These guys are completely insane.”
They had been tailing me and now they were fighting each other.
If their employers heard this, they would probably have a heart attack.
Their quarrel grew even more heated.
“Without the North’s power, the Royal Knights are nothing but paper tigers that would collapse in an instant, heh heh.”
“What nonsense is this, you lapdog of a usurper?”
“Usurper? His Grace the Grand Duke is a hero who saved the nation…!”
“Draw your sword. Let’s settle this once and for all today.”
“What a load of bullshit.”
I quickly approached and struck the backs of their necks with the edge of my hand.
Both collapsed at once, though they remained conscious.
The Royal Knight reacted first upon seeing me.
“L-Lord Kaspar…!!”
I drew a dagger from my coat, twirled it between my fingers, and asked him.
“Who sent you?”
“……I cannot say.”
“Okay. Next.”
I waved the dagger at the Northern Knight as well.
“Who sent you? Was it that bastard Heinrich I’d love to chew up and spit out?”
“No matter whose blood you carry, insulting His Grace the Grand Duke is—!”
“Shut your mouth.”
I drove the dagger into the ground right beside his head.
“Answer.”
“……It was Lady Elfriede.”
“Elfriede?”
The completely unexpected name made my body freeze.
“Why the hell would that woman do this?”
“To protect Lord Kaspar against any unforeseen circumstances…”
“Protect? Don’t make me laugh.”
I snorted.
“It’s surveillance, you son of a bitch.”
I turned to the Royal Knight.
“You were sent by Princess Adelheid, weren’t you?”
“Y-Yes. To protect Lord Kaspar.”
“Fucking hell.”
They were all so desperate to watch me rather than protect me.
What confused me most from the beginning was Princess Adelheid.
After rejecting me so coldly, she attaches watchers?
Was she trying to interfere no matter what I did?
I soon learned her true intentions.
Because Princess Adelheid, dressed in plain clothes, and Elfriede appeared at the entrance of the dead-end alley.
Both spoke at the same time.
“Withdraw.”
The Royal Knight and Northern Knight hurriedly fled the alley, leaving Adelheid and Elfriede standing before me.
I sneered.
“Well now, the eldest daughters of the royal family and the grand ducal house—who are supposed to be on such terrible terms—are meeting in one place. I must be quite the important person to warrant surveillance.”
Adelheid protested.
“That is not surveillance but protection…!”
“It’s surveillance, isn’t it?”
A hollow laugh escaped me.
The tails had probably seen me talking with Clara on the street and exchanging addresses.
Then they had scurried back to report it, which explained why the women had appeared.
It made sense; the emotions in the way Adelheid and Elfriede looked at me clearly contained affection.
I hadn’t realized it until just now, but I finally understood.
They definitely harbored romantic feelings for me.
I didn’t know why.
Perhaps in the memories I had lost, I had been someone very precious to them?
“Is it that unpleasant to see me meeting other women?”
“……That’s…”
To Elfriede’s timid reply, I complained.
“You call me your brother even though I’m a bastard. What’s so wrong with this brother wanting to live a normal life?”
The two avoided my gaze.
Along with affection, guilt filled their eyes.
Elfriede asked with a sorrowful expression.
“What must I do for you to return to the Eisenmarck Mansion?”
“Send me to the front lines.”
“That cannot happen!”
She nearly screamed, as if in a seizure.
“Goddamn it. I can’t go to the battlefield. I can’t meet a normal woman. I have no idea what I’m even allowed to do anymore.”
I walked out of the alley without another word.
The two remained frozen in place, unable to do anything.
Left behind in the alley with Princess Adelheid, we soon began glaring at each other.
The princess spoke first.
“You remember, don’t you?”
“Remember what, Your Highness?”
“His memories.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about.”
I bowed my head and denied it.
It was true that I possessed Kaspar’s memories.
Thinking back, when Kaspar had said ‘Then try to remember,’ both the princess and I had been present.
“There is no point in hiding it. The young lady was also there, was she not?”
The princess had struck precisely at that point.
I raised both hands and answered slyly.
“Yes, I remember. The other three who were present likely remember as well.”
“……Then wouldn’t it be better for us to join forces?”
“Indeed.”
We had not believed him.
If Father died, the kingdom would fall.
If we did not purge Rudolf, the eldest son of the Northern Grand Duke, he would become a traitor who sold land to the Empire.
And so on.
We had not believed any of it.
That was why he had met death fourteen times in total, and each time the kingdom had been destroyed along with him.
“The only thing we can do is believe in him, Your Highness.”
“……That is true. Though it seems he remembers nothing.”
“Correct.”
The princess made an unexpected suggestion.
“If he truly wishes to live an ordinary life, granting his wishes for a time is something we can do for him.”
“After all, the current of the age will find him regardless. Is that what you mean?”
A hollow laugh escaped me.
Even if we truly refrained from interfering, the era would seek him out.
Whether he became aware of his regression or not, in the end it would be the same.
With that, we ended our conversation and parted ways.
From now on, the North and the royal family would no longer be so hostile toward each other.
Because to protect this nation—the Nicator Kingdom—we had to protect him, Kaspar.