Trauma
Kang Ho-yeon's startled eyes met mine. Granted, it had been rather sudden... Still, it never hurt to be prepared.
Lately a rumor had been circulating among celebrities that a top idol group would be making their comeback around the same time we were set to debut. Even I'd heard it, so the idea that the company didn't know was absurd. That was why I'd made this proposal.
People... to be blunt, weren't curious about VTuber idols. They were interested in VTuber Kuro, and that was it. Whether she debuted with members or not, the viewers' attention would lock onto Kuro alone.
At first, anyway.
As time went on, it was only natural that they'd fall for the other members' charms too. But to slash that process down, we needed a lot of exposure.
"That's where I come in—drawing the spotlight with a solo track."
"...You're not wrong. The CEO was worried about the same thing... We even had this exact discussion in a meeting."
"Then—!"
Kang Ho-yeon shook her head.
"No. You're already pushing yourself too hard. If we pile a solo song on top of that, you'll actually collapse. And we don't even have a song yet."
My stamina? Collapse?
That was just part of the process. I hadn't actually collapsed, and on set I was getting plenty of rest thanks to the effect of my title. After resting, there was only a faint leftover fatigue? That was because I wasted energy on pointless physical training. Without that, I wouldn't even feel tired.
The real problem was that I didn't have a song to sing. I couldn't just pull one out of thin air, either...
"Ah! Tsuki has a great song!"
"...Tsuki?"
Just then, Tsuki came into view inside the recording booth, waving both arms high. I'd asked the composer to pipe our voices through so she could hear us.
"What are you talking about? You have a song? Wait... more importantly, were you listening to us?"
"Yep! Jiwoo-chan's voice came through over here!"
Tsuki tapped the headset she was wearing with a finger. Wondering what was going on, I looked at the work desk. One button was glowing an unusually bright red. That button, maybe?
"Composer, what does this button do?"
"Ah... this was pressed. This one broadcasts every voice in here... I must have hit it by accident."
A slip-up from not being familiar with the equipment yet. And that slip-up might just be the best play we could have asked for.
"Then... Tsuki, can you sing it for us?"
"If it's Jiwoo-chan's request! I'll start!"
Tsuki took her place in front of the mic with the same look she'd had while recording... no, an even more serious one. She slowly opened her mouth, and her voice filled the microphone.
Nice... but this song...
"Is it that one?"
"Yeah. I think so."
Lee Yuwol, listening behind me, seemed to think the same.
"The one she sang through tears on the way to the amusement park... that song."
"Ah... the one she said wasn't finished yet?"
Kang Ho-yeon remembered it a beat late. The only one who hadn't been there, Jina, tilted her head by herself while Tsuki kept singing.
"It's good. This song probably has everything of Tsuki in it."
"Everything..."
"It happens in this industry from time to time. However..."
The composer trailed off, looking at Tsuki. A faint unease prickled through me. Was something about to go wrong...?
The composer glanced at me. He was asking whether it was all right to spend a once-in-a-lifetime chance for someone else's sake.
Well... if this had been my past life, I wouldn't have let anyone use their one shot in this world for somebody else. But now was different.
"Tsuki. Are you really okay with this? Me using this song?"
"Of course! Tsuki... I. I was able to find the courage to come to Korea thanks to Jiwoo-chan! Of course... I'll have to go back to Japan soon... but until then, I want to make as many memories as I can!"
The longest a foreigner could stay in Korea on a tourist basis was about ninety days. Once that window closed, they had to go home and apply for a visa all over again. We were VTuber idols anyway, so as long as we had internet, we could meet and stream from anywhere in the world. But it would still be lonely when Tsuki, who'd been like a little sister, was gone.
I'd once asked the CEO about naturalizing Tsuki in Korea. She wanted to go to school with me, after all. The answer had been no, for two reasons. One: Tsuki was still a minor. The other: the conditions for applying for Korean naturalization hadn't even been set yet.
"Still... that's okay, right?"
"Of course! I... no, we want to make lots of memories with Tsuki too! Right?"
"Why would you even say something that obvious. We're sad about Tsuki leaving too... we want to be together forever."
"Me too... she's cute, like a mischievous little sister..."
Lee Yuwol's feelings overflowed; she looked ready to burst into tears any second. Jina stayed composed, but regret sat plainly on her face. We'd only spent about two and a half months together... and we were already as good as family.
"Yeah! Then I'll give my song to Jiwoo-chan! No! I'll study even harder and give all my songs to Jiwoo-chan! You'll sing them, right?"
"Well..."
Obviously!
Thanks to Tsuki's sacrifice(?), my solo song was ready. There was only the melody so far, no lyrics... but luckily, composer Lee Baram had said he'd help. My solo track didn't need choreography. I just had to sing; there was nothing extra to prepare. Now all that was left was to wait for the song to be finished.
"Jiwoo, we're here."
"Huh... already?"
The van slowed to a stop in the parking lot of an apartment complex. A place I'd never been. I checked the address over and over to make sure we'd found the right building.
"This is... Building 103, Unit 1101, right?"
"Yeah, that's right. I already called ahead. If you ring the doorbell, they'll open up."
"Okay... then... Unnie..."
"I'll wait here. I'll make sure you go in through the front door, so don't wander off."
"I know."
Ever since the recent stalker incident, Kang Ho-yeon's surveillance had gotten stricter. It had been my fault from the start, though. If I hadn't snuck off to the convenience store that day and had just gone back to the dorm, nothing would have happened.
I pressed 1101 at the intercom by the shared entrance.
"Yes? Who is it?"
"Ah... I'm Lee Jiwoo, Ahn Soo-jin sunbae's junior."
"Ah... I'll buzz you in."
The shared entrance slid open, and I took the elevator to the eleventh floor.
"Welcome. And I'm sorry. Asking you to do something like this."
When the elevator arrived at the eleventh floor, Ahn Soo-jin's mother was already waiting in front of it.
"Not at all. I'm the one who should thank you for agreeing to this."
My request had been simple: let me meet Ahn Soo-jin. And her mother's request: get Ahn Soo-jin out of her room. Our goals lined up, so the whole thing had come together.
I murmured an excuse-me, slipped off my shoes, and stepped inside.
"This is it. Well... I'd only be in the way, so I'll step outside for a bit."
"No... you don't have to..."
By the time I reached out, Ahn Soo-jin's mother had already left the apartment. Beep... click. The lock engaged, and I was standing alone in front of Ahn Soo-jin's door.
Hoo... I was nervous. We weren't particularly close. We'd only met a few times on set, exchanging greetings and playing opposite each other. But I had a reason to go this far. I'd poked at her trauma for no good reason. Even if it had been acting, it had left me uneasy. In other words, I'd come here to settle my own heart—and for Ahn Soo-jin's sake, too.
Knock knock.
"Um... Ahn Soo-jin sunbae... it's Lee Jiwoo."
"...."
No sound came from inside the room. I put a little pressure on the doorknob, but the door was locked and wouldn't budge. No choice, then. I hadn't wanted to go this far.
I grabbed a thin chopstick from the kitchen, slid it into the small hole right beside the knob, and opened the door. Click.
"Sunbae! Excuse me!"
"Wh... what? How... I definitely locked it!"
The door opened easily, and Ahn Soo-jin scrambled up from the bed in a panic. It was designed so you could open it from the outside for safety, so unlocking it with a single chopstick wasn't difficult.
All right... now it began. But first...
"I'm sorry! Sunbae! Please put some clothes on first!"
"Uh... ah! I-I'm sorry!"
She clearly hadn't expected anyone to show up; she was in her room wearing nothing but panties. It was rare for anyone to keep a stuffy bra on around the house. At the dorm, Yuwol unnie, Jina unnie, even Tsuki wore panties but didn't bother with bras. In fact, the moment they got back from going out, the first thing they did was unhook the straps.
"S-so... what are you doing here... were we that close...? Haha..."
Ahn Soo-jin laughed awkwardly. Just as I opened my mouth to explain, a tremendous thunderclap rumbled out of her stomach.
"W-well... shall we eat first and then talk?"
"....Yeah."
Including Ahn Soo-jin's mother, the three of us ordered delivery, ate dinner, and some time passed. I went back into Ahn Soo-jin's room, and it was finally time to talk.
"I'm sorry! I poked at your trauma for no reason!"
"...Huh? That's..."
"It's all my fault! Please forgive me!"
"Wait... hold on! What are you even talking about?!"
Ahn Soo-jin was flustered. And so was I.
"Uh... didn't you shut yourself in because I triggered your trauma?"
"...That's... only half right..."
"Half?"
"It's true the trauma was hard. But that's not why I've been stuck at home!"
...What?