What Do You Mean by That?
What do you mean by that?
I had quite a lot on my plate.
Two things sat at the top of the list. One was the songs and the choreography for our VTuber idol debut, now less than seventy days away.
And the other.
"All right! We're cranking in!"
A drama set, back in my life in less than a month. Staff darted every which way, checking the stage and my condition at a pace that was starting to grate—six visits in a single hour, roughly every ten minutes. Even so, one successful drama did not change the facts. I was still nothing more than a rookie actress.
"Jiwoo, whenever you're ready!"
At PD Oh Seok-ho's call I stood and stepped onto the set.
The other thing I had to take care of first.
That was this.
"Ready."
Delivering the performance I had spent a week practicing, the script I had all but burned into my bones. Oh Seok-ho nodded.
"All right! Everybody, standby~"
His hand went up. A different style from PD Kang Won-sung. Then that hand dropped.
"Cue!"
We were rolling. I looked into the camera on a diagonal and delivered the line I had spent a week memorizing.
"Hi."
Dramas, movies—nobody shoots a scenario in order. If time is generous you start from episode one, but an actor's schedule, the weather that day, a dozen other variables, and the order gets shuffled. The part I was shooting today was episode three. Episodes one and two were the protagonist's childhood; the story after she had grown up began here. My shooting schedule was a mere two weeks, the maximum Kang Ho-yeon and PD Oh Seok-ho had carved out after talking through every possible snag. Inside that window, I had to put a finished performance on camera.
The Day We Were. That was the title of the drama I was shooting. The setting was the early 2000s, just as the chaos in the national economy had settled and the gap between haves and have-nots had split cleanly into a relationship of predator and prey. School, that so-called miniature society, was no different. The role I had been given was a rich girl whose parents had struck it big overseas and become new money overnight—a spoiled, vicious character named Lee Bo-hyeon, the kind who isolated people and led the bullying the second things failed to go her way.
That's not it. I need to be more arrogant.
I greeted the protagonist, Kang Mirae—sitting quietly in her chair like a total outcast—all over again.
"Hi."
Not just a verbal hello this time. Like a kid taking charge of making friends, I slung an arm around Kang Mirae's shoulders.
"Ah—hi.."
A slightly trembling voice. She was scared. Of course she was. Lee Bo-hyeon's clique had Kang Mirae surrounded. How many people in the world had the guts not to flinch in that situation?
And this was...
"Cut! Ahn Soo-jin! You can't be scared there—you have to stand up to them!"
Just as PD Oh Seok-ho said, Kang Mirae was supposed to breeze past the bully crowd with a blast of cool indifference. Kang Mirae was not the one who was supposed to be afraid.
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... the atmosphere..."
"Pardon? Me?"
Ahn Soo-jin, the actress playing Kang Mirae, flicked a glance at me.
"Confidently! Hit them with that cool energy! You got it?!"
"..Yes."
Oh Seok-ho signaled the staff again, and we went again.
"You okay?"
"Ah.. y-yeah. I-I'm fine."
Unlike Jin Joo-hwa, who had shot a drama with me before, Ahn Soo-jin's personality was a timid rabbit through and through. I had only glared a little for the acting, and she had flinched as if I had bitten her. We shot it a few more times after that, but Oh Seok-ho would not give the OK.
"Cut! Again."
"Cut! Again."
"Haa... Cut. Again."
We had already heard again more than ten times. By this point Ahn Soo-jin's shoulders were sagging, and I was exhausted too. At this rate we could reshoot it a hundred times and get the exact same result. Oh Seok-ho realized it as well.
"Hold on. Let's take ten and go again."
"Yes! Ten-minute break!"
At the assistant director's shout, the staff moved as one. The chair scraped as Ahn Soo-jin shot to her feet.
"I-I'm sorry."
She bowed to me and fled the set.
"Haa... This is something. PD-nim. Did I do something wrong?"
I asked Oh Seok-ho as he came onto the set. He gave a small shake of his head.
"You played your role faithfully, Jiwoo. I was actually shocked while we were shooting, you know that? In just a week... no, not even a week, and you already had the character down. That's something ordinary actors simply cannot do. Haa.. if anything.."
"PD-nim, shh!"
I put a finger up before he could say something that crossed a line. Our relationship was an ironic one, with me holding the cards. Obviously.
Thanks to me, they were able to start shooting without a hitch.
Meanwhile the staff who had finished resetting came over.
"PD-nim, reset's done. No problems. We should be good to go again."
"Yeah? We've still got time. Let's use the full ten minutes... someone go find Ahn Soo-jin."
"I'll go."
I didn't have anything else to do, and I already had the script memorized.
"Be right back!"
I left the set quickly. Behind me, the staff's voices drifted over, quiet.
"She doesn't look like that these days, though... did you see her acting just now? I got chills... she's not actually like that, right?"
"Don't talk nonsense. I heard from the agency she pretty much keeps to herself at school."
"Come on~ she's gotta have friends, though."
"...."
"S-she does... right?"
Watching the young actress's back as she ran off without a word, Oh Seok-ho's expression made the staff break into a cold sweat before they even realized it. And at the same time, they understood.
"It's probably because she's so talented. You know how it is. You're sitting through classes that don't even help you, and someone else is raking in hundreds of millions... I'd be sick about it too."
"Plus the fact that she's still a student probably didn't help."
The murmuring among the surrounding staff grew louder. Other crew members piled into the conversation until it was a complete mess.
"All right, everyone, that's enough..."
Oh Seok-ho tried to cut in. Then other actors piled on too.
"I heard from the bit-part actors on Ghost Singer. Even though she was young and just in a minor role, she didn't laugh it off—she treated the seniors who'd started acting first with real respect."
"Ah.. I heard that too. They said she had real character."
"That's impressive... not easy at that age. You know what kids who succeed young are usually like."
Everyone pictured the culprit of the latest scandal. The drunk-driving idol had also debuted young and made a fortune—and fallen into hell in a single instant.
"So.. did anyone hear where she learned acting?"
"Huh.. now that you mention it? As far as I know JO Entertainment was an idol company? I think this is Jiwoo's first time as an actress..."
"No way~ that would mean she's a kid who never even properly learned acting."
"But looking at the performance just now.."
Character, sympathy, and acting ability. People who had just seen an actress who had it all were stunned to discover that a person they had thought existed only in their imaginations was real.
That was when it happened. A middle-aged woman walked slowly onto the set.
"Isn't that obvious? I heard Senior Go Eun-hye herself acknowledged her acting. How are ordinary people like us supposed to beat that kind of talent? All we can do is work. Existences like that are born, not made."
"Huh? What brings you in today? I thought you had something urgent."
"I'm here to see my actors' faces. Is that a problem?"
Oh Seok-ho pushed past the staff blocking the way, rubbing his hands. The staff and actors who had been wondering what the fuss was about took one look at the middle-aged woman who had appeared—writer Park Ja-wook, draped head to toe in luxury brands—and averted their eyes.
"So. Where is my actress? And at this hour, shouldn't you be in the middle of a take? Are you allowed to be slacking off here?"
"Ah.. that's.."
"Forget it. I'll find her myself. All of you, get ready to shoot."
Oh Seok-ho checked the time. Right on cue, ten minutes had passed.
"All right, everyone, we're going back in! Please bring Ahn Soo-jin and Jiwoo!"
The staff scattered, fleeing Park Ja-wook. Only the youngest crew members, who didn't know who she was, tilted their heads.
"Um.. are you okay?"
"Ah.. I-I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be an adult..."
"Is it all right if I ask what's wrong?"
I came closer. Ahn Soo-jin had been startled despite herself by the performance just now. In truth, she had been bullied in school. It hadn't lasted long—about three months. A transfer in the middle had gotten her out of it. But the memory from back then was so vivid she still couldn't forget it.
"I-it's nothing.. let's just go back. I've calmed down a little."
"All right.. then. Can I play it even harder than just now?"
"...What?"
Looking at her, I thought of someone.
She's like Boram unnie.
Because of what the bullies had done to her, even walking down the street she would erase her presence the second she spotted one, turning into someone who barely existed in the world. It had been fascinating at first, but I couldn't even imagine how hard the years must have been to gain an ability like that.
I'm helping her.
I just had to become something even more vicious.
"I'll act even harder. I'll wipe that memory out for you."
Ahn Soo-jin looked startled and gave a small shake of her head.
"You don't have to refuse."
I used my trait, deepening my immersion into Lee Bo-hyeon, and whispered it small, right by her ear.
"H-hiiiek!!"
Ahn Soo-jin shot to her feet. Her face went past pale and straight into paper-white.
"You can act now, right?"
"Y-yes! I-I can do it!"
"Then go on."
She ran for the set like she was fleeing. I watched her go and followed at an unhurried pace.
Haa.. do I really have to go this far?
Still, seeing the change in her expression, I let out a small laugh.
However you get there, as long as you arrive.
Back on set, I startled inwardly at the cluster of staff gathered in one place.
What? Why is everyone bunched up? Did something happen?
They all wore serious, worried faces. That was when PD Oh Seok-ho spotted me and came over.
"Ah.. Jiwoo. So... we've got a problem."
"A problem?"
"Well.. the writer says she's revising the script.. and she wants us to shoot it again?"
"....What?"
What do you mean by that?