I'm Gonna Die
I'm... gonna die.
Articles had been pouring in since morning. Some of them were inflated so shamelessly I could only assume they were trying to drag me.
"Wow... that's cheap."
My brow furrowed on its own. Plenty of gutter-press garbage had gone up too. Bastards like that all needed to be wiped off the map. The fact that I couldn't was the only thing that stung.
In my previous life, every last article like this had a massive impact on company revenue. That was how a once-lush head of hair had gone bald on me.
Even if the world gets rewritten, these hack journalists will never change.
I shook my head and shoved my phone away.
"Jiwoo, what are you doing?"
"Ah... I-I was working out."
JO Entertainment's basement gym. I had been pumping iron with everything I had. The weight still made even three empty-bar sets brutal, but compared to the days I couldn't manage a single one, I had come a long way.
"Is... that so?"
Kang Ho-yeon looked at the empty bar and let out a sigh. What was that? Whenever a sigh slipped out of her mouth, a nameless anxiety crept up on me. And that hunch did not miss.
"Jiwoo, you call that a workout? Even if you're only doing one, you should at least put some weight on it. Here. I'll load the plates."
"W-wait— kkkuuugh...!"
Heavy. My hands trembled so hard I felt like I would drop it any second. How much had she even put on?
I checked the plates Ho-yeon had loaded. A full five kilograms. Ten kilos on both sides, plus the empty bar itself—about twelve kilograms in all.
I'm... gonna die.
If I dropped this, I was definitely going to die.
"I-I can't! U-unnie, save me!"
"It's fine. This much won't kill you. Come on. One."
Once I confirmed Ho-yeon had the bar in one hand above my head, I slowly bent my arms. Trembling. My arms shook violently. My breathing turned ragged, and sweat poured off me like rain.
"U-unnie... this is actually hard. Can't I rest now?!"
"No. You can't. Are you turning into Tsuki too? You can't be this wrecked over something this light. If you're going to juggle acting and being an idol, stamina is non-negotiable. Fail ten reps and you're riding the stairs for three hours."
"Th-three hours...?"
Despair swallowed me whole.
"Jiwoo-chan! You can do it! Tsuki will cheer you on from the side! Fighting! Fighting!"
Tsuki, who had appeared from who-knows-where, stomped her feet beside me and cheered in Japanese. Please... please stop. That was making my strength drain even faster.
I shot her a look, trying to signal her.
"Jiwoo-chan is giving Tsuki such a passionate look! Got it! Tsuki will cheer even harder!"
The message had gotten scrambled in transit. Tsuki started hoisting dumbbells over her head like they had turned into pom-poms, pumping them up and down.
"S-stop... please stop... I'm begging you..."
In the end, I never hit ten reps, and I had no choice but to taste heaven for three hours straight.
That evening. A fried chicken place near the dorm. It was a fairly spacious shop, with tables split between the interior and an outdoor terrace, and sitting inside—not out on the patio—were three familiar faces.
"Wow... fried chicken really is the best."
"Mmm~ Korean fried chicken is so good!"
Korean and Japanese mixed together as they heaped praise on the chicken. It was a famous franchise, so of course it couldn't taste bad. But it had been so long since I'd had fried chicken that I demolished it until I could have cried.
"Eat slowly. Nobody's going to steal it. And fried chicken is one bird per person."
"One... bird? Is that enough? Don't you need at least three?"
"...Th-three? Would we even have the money to order that?"
"Ah... I'll pay for what I eat."
I had forgotten. My stomach was about ten times a normal person's. I was confident I could eat more, and better, than even the people doing mukbangs on NewTube.
Seeing the look on my face, Lee Yuwol made an awkward expression.
"Still... I was the one who invited you and said I'd treat. And once I start living at the dorm, I won't even be able to come out like this. Right?"
"...Huh? Why wouldn't you be able to go out?"
Once the drama started airing, I wouldn't be able to wander around outside on a whim. I had already been told I would always have to take a manager with me. Yuwol shouldn't have known that yet, but she spoke with total certainty.
"Don't tell me you still haven't noticed? Jiwoo... you're the one this news is about."
Yuwol held her phone out in front of me and showed me an article. It was the same piece I had seen that morning—who was the actor Writer Kim Eun-joo had praised, the one Go Eun-hye had acknowledged?
I had already checked it myself. Nowhere in it was there any proof that it was me.
"Then how did you...?"
She was already sure. Even if I played dumb here, she wouldn't buy it—and we were going to be moving as a team from now on. I didn't want to start manufacturing secrets this early.
"I was half in doubt at first too, you know? A few days ago I was heading in because I had something to talk about with the agency CEO, and I overheard it. A call where he was consulting with Writer Kim Eun-joo."
"Ah... I guess that could happen."
Jo Kyuhyun must have forgotten he was in an office and failed to be careful. Then again, they were all insiders. He had probably figured that even if someone caught on, it wouldn't leak outside.
I pressed an oily finger to my lips.
"Shh. That story's a secret. For now."
"I know. I used to shoot as a child actor myself, you know."
"Huh? You really did? Then why aren't you... now..."
"Why aren't I still acting? Well.... I had no choice but to give it up."
Yuwol drifted into the past, murmuring as if talking to herself.
"There are people in this world you can never surpass, no matter how hard you struggle."
I couldn't answer easily. She must have read the mood sinking, because she hurriedly tacked something on.
"Ah! That doesn't mean I hate the team I'm on now. There's a pretty Jiwoo here, and also..."
"Uwaaa..."
Yuwol pulled out a napkin and wiped Tsuki's mouth, which was smeared all around from eating.
"This cute Tsuki became my little sister, didn't she? Right?"
Yuwol forced a smile. One question still nagged at me, though. I had definitely heard that Luna had gone through trainee life before. When had she also taken child-actor roles?
"Could I ask when you did the child-actor work?"
"Child actor? Calling it that is a stretch. It wasn't when I was little. High school... so, right around Jiwoo and Tsuki's age, I guess."
"Then... if that's about eight years ago... wait, Jin Joo-hwa sunbae?"
"Huh...? You know Joo-hwa unnie... Ah. Right. You would've shot the same drama, so of course you'd know her."
I was startled. I never would have guessed the two of them were acting peers. I would have to check later. Jin Joo-hwa's number was already saved in my phone. But right now, fried chicken came first.
"Boss! Two more birds over here! Yangnyeom and soy garlic this time!"
"Yes~ coming right up!"
Around the time we were finishing, I ordered extra chicken and even added more pickled radish.
"Ahh~ shame. A beer on the side would make this perfect."
"No. I can tolerate fried chicken as the occasional slip, but you're still a student. No beer."
Yuwol shut it down with a firm look. I knew that too. In my previous life I had smoked, but I had hated drinking. The booze I started putting down to keep my bosses happy at endless company dinners had gone from one glass to two, until later I couldn't even function unless I poured alcohol into myself every single day. My body was fine now, but that sensation still lingered.
Still...
Tsk...
"What's wrong? Did you bite a bone?"
"Ah, no... it's not that... it's just a little..."
A sting? A prickle? A pain I had never felt before needled me from my stomach. The moment I said so, both of them looked startled. Why were they making that face?
"Jiwoo, you... how long has that been going on?"
"I don't know? Maybe... two days? Three? It was bearable enough that I was fine, but it's been getting a little worse since a bit ago... is it something serious?"
The two of them shook their heads. Not serious, they said. That was a relief.
Then Yuwol dropped a bomb.
"Jiwoo, I think that might be... your period?"
"....What? My per... what? Why would that... ah."
I was a girl. Even though I was constantly aware I was a woman, I kept forgetting it when it came to things like this.
"That's weird, though? I've been fine until now."
If I had had this kind of pain the month I became a girl, I would have taken measures in advance. We were coming up on three months, and now it was menstrual cramps? Thoughts piled up in the confusion, and my body only grew heavier.
Yuwol, unlike me, stayed calm.
"My guess is your daily rhythm changed. I don't know what your life used to look like, but lately it's been drama, school, and then staying up all night for VTuber idol work, right? Your body's gone irregular and you've been overdoing it, so your constitution shifted. I've seen someone like that before."
"That's right! Tsuki knew someone who was totally fine like Jiwoo-chan, and then they suddenly started hurting too!"
Listening to the two of them, I had to admit the lifestyle in my memory had definitely changed. Before, I would finish school, go to cram academy, then come home and sit still studying. I had kept even my movements to a minimum, just to cram one more character into my head. My body couldn't handle the intense activity, and this was how it was rebelling.
"Then what do I do?"
Yuwol murmured it with complete certainty.
"Well... time will take care of it, I guess?"
"...Huh?"
"Oh? Jiwoo, the chicken's here. Eat a lot and hang in there."
I could not understand what Yuwol wanted me to hang in there for.
And the next day.
"Gyaaaaah...!"
I understood yesterday's words down to my bones.
"It hurts!"