Shh, It's a Secret
I came back to the dormitory and sank onto the living room sofa. The first time I'd stayed here alone there hadn't even been a sofa, but now each member's things had claimed their spots. It felt cozy enough that I could honestly call it another home — and with the members here, a warm family besides, that wasn't stretching it at all.
"Jiwoo! Just now on the internet—!"
"I know."
Jina, who'd clocked that I was back, flung her door wide and hurried over. In her hand was the article Hoyeon had sent me earlier.
"So what now? Don't you need to put out some kind of statement?"
"Ah... that got wrapped up nicely. Search my name again and you'll see."
"Your name? Hang on. Let me check."
Jina snatched her phone back and started tapping away. Her face brightened a little compared to before — she'd confirmed I'd buried the whole thing with the fan meeting.
"Well? Pretty clean, right?"
"Yeah. This should do it. But... you're not actually dating him, are you?"
"Come on~ Why would I date that guy? If I'm dating anyone, I'm dating money. I'll cling so tight I couldn't shake it off if I wanted to, and keep it right next to me every single day."
Jina snorted, figuring I was joking.
I'm dead serious, though? Dating a guy? Marriage? I'd rather spend that time making more money so I can loaf around for the rest of my life.
So just ten years. Work myself raw for ten years, then switch into leisure mode for whatever's left. That was the plan. The rich slacker everyone dreams of being at least once — that, I could say, was the final stop on my life's itinerary.
"Hey, unnie."
"Huh?"
Jina startled a little when I suddenly called her. Cookie crumbs clung to the corner of her mouth. I reached up, plucked them off, and popped them into my own. A taste that was a little sweet, a little salty, with a deep potato richness that hit my tongue and vanished.
"This flavor... unnie."
"Uh.. w-why are you calling me?"
When I said it again, she trembled in a way she hadn't a moment ago.
"The crumbs around your mouth. What's the story there?"
"Crumbs? I have no idea what you're talking about."
Playing dumb, with the evidence sitting right there!
"Unnie, did you eat my snacks?"
"No? I've been working out lately. I don't eat snacks. And did we even have snacks in the house? I thought Hoyeon took them all."
Not wrong. Once a week she'd barge in, rummage through the rooms for snacks or junk, and confiscate whatever she found. Usually it was just drinks or chips that turned up. But a few days ago, during a surprise inspection, something huge happened.
Namely: a sex toy, presumed to belong to Yuwol, was discovered. Of course Yuwol herself swore it wasn't hers, but that was enough for Hoyeon to call in staff and tear the whole place apart. Which meant even the secret snack vault I'd hidden so carefully got cleaned out.
"Just thinking about it... who the hell would leave a sex toy here? Because of some idiot!"
"W-well... if it wasn't you, it had to be one of the unnies. If it wasn't Jiwoo... then it was one of us, right? So, uh, maybe cool off a little."
What was this? I'd thought it was weird before, but Jina always broke into a cold sweat whenever the sex toy came up.
"Don't tell me... that wasn't yours, was it?"
"O-of course not! Even if I started school a year late and I'm an adult now! I don't do that kind of thing!"
I'd assumed Jina was a nineteen-year-old high school senior, but I only recently learned she'd started school a year late as a kid and was actually a twenty-year-old adult. We'd done a stream together before, and I'd unconsciously mentioned wanting a drink. I told her she couldn't, since she wasn't of age.
I'm an adult.
That's what she said. I checked, and it was true — so I had to sit there watching Jina drink with naked envy in my eyes.
"I don't care~ Why are you eating my snacks!"
"I-I'm sorry. I'll buy you more! I'll buy them, so let go~!!"
I had Jina by the shoulders and was shaking her back and forth when the front door opened and Yuwol walked in looking exhausted.
"What are you two doing?"
Even after a quick wash, the fatigue hadn't left Yuwol's face. Was she sick? I asked, a little worried, but she said no.
"You guys must be hungry. I'll make dinner, so rest a bit."
"The one who needs to rest isn't us."
"It's you, unnie."
She'd even canceled her plans today. Something must have happened while she was out.
"Let's just order something tonight. Come sit over here."
I took Yuwol's hand and sat her on the sofa I'd just been occupying.
"What are you doing. If Hoyeon finds out we ordered delivery—"
"Worry about that later. You canceled your plans today, so something happened, right? What was it?"
"Uh…. that's. It's nothing."
Someone who says nothing's wrong looks ready to drop dead from exhaustion? I wasn't falling for a lie that bad.
"Unnie. Look me in the eye. And talk slowly. You can lie, or you can tell the truth. Just don't keep your mouth shut. Say something."
This was a method I'd used a lot in my past life when I was an orphan. Little kids, when they're hiding something, have a habit of clamping their mouths shut. To fix that, they need practice speaking on their own — which is why I came up with this. It's okay to lie, and even better if it's the truth. Building the ability to get embarrassing, hard-to-say things out of your own mouth.
I've never tried this on an adult, though.
Being an adult probably wouldn't make that much difference. I looked Yuwol straight in the eye.
"Or is it something you can't tell us? Whatever it is, I'll... no, we'll help."
"Obviously, unnie. Don't just sit there with your mouth shut. Come on, spit it out."
Jina jumped in at just the right moment. If she still wouldn't talk after this, it meant it involved us.
"It has nothing to do with you two. And it's personal. It's not something I need other people's help with."
Hearing that only made me more worried. And I was starting to get pissed.
"Just say it! Or don't make that face! You make people worry and then what? It's none of our business, so don't worry about it? Personal? We don't have that kind of thing! Just talk! Don't piss me off until I start swearing!"
"J-Jiwoo!"
"Ah, shit... first time in a while something actually set me off."
The two of them were so startled by my outburst they just sat there frozen.
"Well? Why aren't you talking?"
My hand drifted unconsciously toward my chest. Ah... right. No cigarettes. Dammit.. I reached for a smoke without even thinking.
It had been half a year since I woke up in this body, but a smoking habit built over decades doesn't just quit. Directors would sometimes come up to me on drama or movie sets. Jiwoo... do you smoke, by any chance? I'd always say I didn't, that they could test me if they wanted, and that would be that. But the unconscious gestures, I couldn't do anything about.
I trudged over to a kitchen chair, dropped into it, and crossed my legs.
"So what is it. Talk."
"Uh... f-fine."
Faced with my shamelessness, Yuwol finally nodded.
"Honestly, things at home are a little shaky, so I need money. I picked up a short-term part-time job. That's all."
If you say it's nothing, it's nothing. But I knew exactly what those words meant. Once a ship starts listing, getting it back on an even keel takes a lot of time, effort, and resources. You need all three. From what Yuwol said, resources were critically short. Time and effort alone have their limits.
"I heard you. Doesn't sound like there's anything I can do, then."
"Jiwoo, what are you saying."
"What? If I gave you money, would you take it?"
"Absolutely not."
Yuwol was firm.
"Right? Then there's nothing I can do. I'm gonna go stream."
I turned away, cold enough to send a freezing wind howling through the room, went into my room, and locked the door.
"Hoo... then I'll just have to help a little myself."
I went live, and within ten minutes Kumongdan started filing in.
I didn't say a word for thirty minutes after starting the stream. Then it came.
The two comments I'd been waiting for finally appeared. I already knew they watched my streams regularly. But today, those two couldn't be here.
"Sorry!"
I hit ban on both of them and kicked them off my stream.
"Alright, everyone, listen carefully to what I'm about to say, and you absolutely cannot tell anyone else. This is just between us. Shh, it's a secret."
I made a proposal to Kumongdan. And Hoyeon, my manager, was in the room too.
"What do you think, Manager?"
"Obviously. Everyone keep this secret, okay? Got it?"