First Busking

Busking!

It was around two in the afternoon. I was already wandering the streets around Hongik University Station. The set was supposed to start at three, but I'd come out early to get a little extra practice in.

Something I was only just starting to notice: no matter where I went, I drew every eye in the room. Barely over five-two, a face no bigger than a fist, and features so sharp they might as well have been cut with a knife. People streaming through Hongik University Station would actually turn to look at me as they passed, and I had never once in my life seen anyone prettier than the girl in the mirror. Those stares had been uncomfortable at first, but after about a month of living in this body, I'd gotten used to them.

Back in the old days I used to pull every insane stunt I could think of just to get people to look at me.

There's a reason they say a pretty face is a weapon all by itself.

Yoo Hyemin still hadn't arrived, and I had nothing to do until she did, so I figured I might as well kill time taking a few pictures on my phone.

That was when it happened.

"Um... I like you, so could I maybe get your number...?"

I looked up. A man was holding out his phone with an awkward little smile. What? Why is he asking for my number? The thought lasted half a second. Anyone with eyes could see this was a pickup.

He'd clearly put in some effort—hair neatly styled, clothes that said he'd actually thought about what to wear. The kind of guy who looked like he'd come to Hongdae to hang out.

"Sorry. I don't have a phone."

"Then what's that, if it isn't a phone?"

"This? It's a wooden dummy."

"You were just taking a selfie..."

"Ah—come to think of it, it's a dummy handset. No Wi-Fi, so it doesn't work."

"Then at least a text—"

"I don't text."

"Look, I've never done this before, okay? You're the first person I've ever actually wanted to ask, so... please."

Irritation started to climb up my throat. I'd turned him down this many times already. A normal person would have taken the hint and vanished. Were they all this persistent? Not like I'd ever tried to get anyone's number myself, so how would I know.

I looked him dead in the eye. That face was full of confidence. This was not his first time. Nobody doing this for real would sound that sure of themselves.

"I'm sorry. I'm not giving you my number. And I'm a student."

"A student? I'm a student too. How old are you, anyway?"

"Hah... I'm sixteen. Please leave."

".....Huh?"

Seventeen, technically—I'd be starting high school this year—but he didn't need the truth. The moment he heard my age, he went pale and melted into the crowd.

A few more guys drifted over before Yoo Hyemin showed up. I turned every one of them down politely.

Ten minutes later, the woman I'd started to think might not come at all finally appeared.

"Director~!"

The second I spotted Yoo Hyemin, I waved as brightly as I could.

"Huh? You're already here? You should've texted me. Wait—did anyone weird come up to you?"

"Anyone weird? Not that I noticed. Everyone seemed pretty busy with their own stuff. Nobody came over."

"Is that... so?"

She stretched the words out, a little suspicious, but I said it was fine, so she nodded.

"Alright. If ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you say so. Shall we go shoot the promo video, then?"

"Where am I actually busking, though?"

"Ah... I forgot to tell you. The spot you'll be performing at is the place they call the Hongdae Busking Zone. Right over there!"

"...Excuse me?"

The place she was pointing at was the best pitch in all of Hongdae busking—a park right behind it, the heaviest foot traffic you could ask for.

Is a spot like that not competitive? Even if it is Friday... there have to be plenty of people who want to busk.

I watched the river of people going by and felt the blood drain from my face.

I-I'm supposed to sing in front of this many people? N-no... I'm already dying of embarrassment. My heart's going to explode...

Thump. Thump.

My heart had taken off and refused to come back down. I was so tense I couldn't even hear Yoo Hyemin standing right next to me.

"Jiwoo... Jiwoo! Snap out of it!"

"Ah... ha!.."

"I'm not going to tell you not to be nervous. Instead... try to settle a little. You're completely frozen right now. Come on, slowly, follow me..."

In... out...

I followed her lead and breathed, slow and even. I'd sung in front of coworkers at company workshops more times than I could count—but those had always been people I knew. I'd forgotten that today was the first time I would ever sing in front of strangers. A whole crowd of them, no less.

"Feeling a little calmer? If you really can't do it, we can try again another day. But... coming all the way out here just to quit... isn't that a little hasty? Even if you can't get the song out, what do you say we at least try?"

"Try..."

I could see the mic tucked under Yoo Hyemin's arm. Not wireless—a wired microphone, the cord coiled in loops around the body. I looked down at it, then stuck out my hand.

"Give me the mic. I'll give it a shot."

There is a world of difference between trying and not trying.

Three o'clock was almost here. For the past week, every hour I wasn't working a part-time shift had gone into this one song. I knew it well enough to sing it in my sleep. Shaking was fine. Missing a note was fine. My body, after a week of drilling, would pull the song out of me whether I wanted it to or not.

"Hah... I'm a little calmer now."

Yoo Hyemin still checked my face, then took the mic and started setting up the gear the moment the act before us finished.

And then—

Ding.

Ah... damn it.

A Sudden Mission had popped up right in front of my eyes. It hadn't shown itself once all week. I was starting to get the feeling it only appeared whenever I was about to take on something huge.

First it was helping Bora unnie deal with a nightmare customer. Now it's 'succeed at busking.'

Not a single easy mission in the bunch.

Was I going to give up on it, then?

Not a chance. I accepted on the spot. If I had to do this anyway, I wanted to succeed.

"Amp's hooked up. We can start whenever... want a little more time?"

Yoo Hyemin had finished every last bit of prep without my noticing, and now she was asking.

"...."

I kept my mouth shut and looked at the people packed around the busking stage. Fifty-plus, easy. Friday, so of course the crowd had swollen. The nerves that had hit me singing in front of seven people at an audition were nothing compared to this.

Time. Yeah. I needed a minute. I closed my eyes slowly ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and drew in a breath.

Yoo Hyemin watched me breathe, then quietly adjusted the mic.

This is a company workshop. I've sung and danced in front of more than a hundred employees and bosses every year. This is nothing.

Five minutes like that.

I finished the mental reset and let my eyes open, slow.

"Well? Nerves gone?"

I shook my head.

"No. Not even a little. I could pass out right now."

"Then should we stop? We can come back once you've built up more—"

"No. Now. I want to do it now. If I don't do it now, I can't."

The Sudden Mission hanging in front of my face. No telling when it would show up again, so I had to clear it today.

I held out my hand.

"Give me the mic."

"Oh—oh. Here. But... Jiwoo... your eyes..."

"My eyes?"

"Ah, it's nothing. Fighting!"

I nodded at her little raised fist and stepped into the center of the stage.

Every gaze in the crowd locked onto me.

My hands were shaking. My mouth wouldn't open. The tension was eating me alive.

Get it together! You cannot fall apart here!

The dream hadn't even started yet. I was not going to wreck it on the first step.

"Hello. I'm a student at Vocal Studio. This is my first time busking, so ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I'm incredibly nervous and I might mess up, but..."

Nobody in that crowd cared where I'd come from or what I was about to sing. All they wanted was to decide whether my voice was worth stopping for.

"I'll give it everything I've got. The song I'll be singing is I'm Right Here."

The instant I finished speaking, the intro rolled out.

I'm Right Here has a full minute of intro. The longer an intro runs, the more it teases people—and the more it bores them. The only way to blow that boredom away and yank every ear onto my voice was to sing well. Well enough to hit them like a truck.

A minute passed, and the first lyric finally arrived.

The first syllable wasn't bad. I hadn't missed it. I'd come in right on the beat. I wanted to know what their faces were doing, but I didn't look. Yoo Hyemin had made me swear I wouldn't meet anyone's eyes, and I understood why. If a beginner like me locked eyes with the crowd even a little, the nerves would double and my real voice wouldn't come out.

I hid my shaking hands as best I could and just poured myself into the song I'd been given.

Verse one ended. I had a minute until the second-verse verse. I used the gap to catch my breath and put some stamina back.

That was the mistake.

"Ugh...!"

My eyes met theirs.

What do I do... Did I mess up? Did I hit a wrong note... or drop the beat?

I had no idea where I'd gone wrong. I'd thought I was giving it everything I had, but from the crowd's side it apparently hadn't looked that way.

My confidence cratered. My shoulders started to drop—

Clap. Clap. Clap.

Applause, right on the beat. I'd shut my eyes without meaning to and dropped my head; the sound made me jump.

Their faces weren't disappointed. They didn't look like people who'd wasted their time.

They were cheering.

And they were moved.

I looked over to where Yoo Hyemin was standing.

You're doing great. Hang in there!

Her lips moved, and the fist she'd made earlier pumped even higher.

Ah... I'm doing well. I didn't mess up.

The hammering in my chest settled. The nerves drained out, and something new slid into their place: excitement.

How do I even describe this feeling... It's fun. And... it feels good.

The verse was already rolling. The voice that had been shaking through verse one, frantic not to drop the beat, was gone. I just... played in the space.

It felt like ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠being a kid again, tearing around a playground without a single thought in my head.

Verse two I took easy, nothing like the first.

"Whoa... whoaaaaaa!!"

"That voice is incredible!"

"You did amazing!"

"She's so prettyyyyy!!"

When the song ended, the roar coming from every direction startled me so badly I almost dropped the mic—worse than the scare earlier.

"Thank you. Getting a reaction like this... it's my first time, so I'm a little dazed... haha..."

An embarrassed laugh slipped out.

"Encore! Encore!"

"Encore!"

The calls kept pouring in. I had no idea what to do, so I looked at Yoo Hyemin. She made a gesture that said, It's up to you.

Up to me... what am I even supposed to...

Honestly, it wasn't like I hadn't imagined it. I'd wondered what I'd do if I were good enough that people actually asked for an encore.

I lifted the mic again.

"Alright then... I'll do just one more."